Never Forgotten
by helenamoon
Summary: Dr. Nikki Wade and DCI Helen Stewart is on a hunt for a serial killer who is killing college girls. Will friendship lead to romance or will the past destroy their future? Will they be able to stop the gruesome killings. Is tragedy their only connections and what lurks in the darkness? *Just a note, there are some heavy content and description in the story*
1. Chapter 1

(This is my first attempt at a story, so bear with me. This is my story of Nikki and Helen in a completely different atmosphere. I wanted to write something dark with mystery, and at the same time keep its element of humour, love, friendship. Note: there might be some heavy content in here and I am by no means an expert on what I write as some things might not be accurate. I do hope all those who have come to read my story will enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing. For those who have read my story already, might notice I have changed a few things here and there as I decided to go through the chapters again and made some changes. I do not own any of these characters as they belong to Bad Girls.)

**Never Forgotten**

_Chapter 1_

_Nikki Wade closed her books and breathed air into her lungs as she stretched her legs. Her exams were coming to an end and she couldn't wait for the summer. She was planning a trip with Barbara, her godmother to explore Europe before she started University. Of course, for Nikki, learning the material was not a problem, it was her lack of focus and attention. She was always daydreaming about ancient times. She was fascinated about ancient aliens and how she believed they played a part in human evolution. Everyone expected her to study in the field of science. Although she could excel at anything she did, and set her sights on being a scientist, there was another field that Nikki was intrigued about; Psychology and Brain Science. Nikki rubbed at her aching eyes with the palm of her hand, confident that her future would be an exciting adventure. She looked down at her watch and rolled her eyes in despair. She spent the entire afternoon and evening in the library without eating as much. She realised suddenly that she was hungry; starving. Another sigh escaped Nikki's throat when she thought about her parents now that her final year at College was coming to an end. Nikki attended a Private Six Form College, a__ magnificent 120-acre parkland site, North West London for 13-18 year olds. __The students were housed in spacious four dorm buildings, and were afforded all the riches can buy. Unlike most of the students, Nikki was very humble and didn't allow herself the trapping of the rich and snobbery. As a young child Nikki had always wanted to help people. She thought she could change the world. She wanted to make an impact on the environment and human suffering. She detested how humans were destroying the Earth and how people reacted towards each other. There was too much suffering in the world and the injustice did not sit well with Nikki. But she was only one human and how much could she really change. But she was going to try. At least she could enjoy the rest of summer holiday before she started University and a new chapter in her young life. __Nikki turned her head around when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. _

"_Hi," a warm voice spoke. "You're Nikki? Are you by chance heading back to the dorm?" A smiling face looked at Nikki. Her eyes were clear as the blue sky._

_"Yes, I'm Nikki Wade." She said smiling, standing up to offer her hand to the smiling girl in front of her. "You're Trisha." Nikki said, still holding her hand. Her faced blush and then she slowly released the girl's hand. _

_The girl smiled, sensing Nikki's embarrassment. "Trisha Harris. I'm on the fourth building and I was wondering if I could tag along with you if you're heading back that direction. It's late, and I hate walking alone by myself, as I really don't like the darkness." Trisha said nervously, looking down at the floor. _

_"Sure, don't mind company." Nikki said grinning as she gathered up her belonging. Trisha Harris was every blokes dream: tall, blond, 105 pounds, and popular. Trisha did what all-popular female students did; dated the most popular and rich bloke. Nikki envied her, but it was an envious hormonal lust. Nikki was attractive herself, and underneath the hard exterior shell and attitude, was a strong, independent girl who blew caution to the wind. She didn't know Trisha, except from afar. Keeping her distance as she admired her beauty and the fantasies in her head. _

_"You ready for graduation, Nikki? I have two exams tomorrow, and that's it. How 'bout you?" Trisha asked, falling into step beside Nikki._

_Nikki blushed at Trisha's obvious friendliness. "My last exam is at ten. I feel pretty confident about it." She looked into Trisha's deep blue eyes and asked, "Is it true you're getting married after graduation. You're only eighteen. Seems a rush to married life." _

_Trisha looked down, her eyes glossed over with sadness. "My mother, bless her heart, is planning the wedding as we speak." Trisha said her voice, a mixture of hurt and despair. "What about you, Nikki? I know you are two years younger than me and so much more advance in your studies." _

_Nikki looked at Trisha as if her eyes were trying to hold back tears. She did not look happy, but a sadness lined her eyes. But why did she feel that way. "I'm sure my IQ is not that much higher? Why do you have such a sadness in your eyes? Do you not want to get married?" Nikki said her brow upward with curiosity._

_"Nikki, you're IQ is definitely much higher as you have skipped two years. "Trisha frowned, fidgeting with her hands. "To be honest, I'm only doing it to please mother." Trisha sighed heavily as if her breath was a heavy burden. "I don't know what to think or want."_

_Nikki was a little perplexed. Why would Trisha allow herself to get married if she wasn't ready? "You do love Thomas, don't you?"_

_"I suppose, but, to be honest, something is missing in our relationship." Trisha said, in a low strained voice, not entirely convincing in her words._

_Nikki was taken aback. "Wow, that's a bit heavy, Trisha. Maybe you should hold off on that wedding. It wouldn't be fair to Thomas or yourself if you're not ready or if you're having doubts." _ _Trisha looked down at the floor, embarrassed to look up in fear she might break. She wasn't entirely convinced that she was doing the right thing by marrying Thomas and she knew the reasons why. "I know," she whispered, barely audible to Nikki. "How about you. Any plans for marriage in the future?" _

_Nikki swallowed hard, not certain how to proceed. In fact, marriage was the furthest thing on her mind. Of course, she was gay and happy under her skin. She didn't need a piece of paper to declare her love for another. "To be quite honest, marriage is not in my future. But then we're different in many aspect." _

_"What do you mean?" Trisha looked directly at Nikki, gaging her thoughts. _

_"Well, I'm...I'm gay." Nikki said quickly looking over at Trisha for a reaction. _

_"So I guess it is true then," Trisha said smiling warmly. The revelation somehow made her smile._

_"What is true?" Nikki said, at a loss. _

_"Well, there's was a little rumour around the dorms that you might be a lesbian." Trisha said, blushing. Her face became warm._

_"Oh, I see. I didn't realise I was of interest to people." Nikki laughed nervously. "So I guess I didn't shock you with the news of my lesbianism? _

_"No, I'm afraid not, Nikki," Trisha grinned. "I think it's brilliant that you're open about your sexuality, because I'm sure not everyone is as comfortable as you are." She said quietly, looking a little nervous and glancing away from Nikki's eyes._

_"I suppose it depends on the circle of friends you have." Nikki smiled back. She couldn't believe that she never approached Trisha before. She sensed that Trisha was blushing, and she seemed a little uncomfortable, then without warning, Trisha grabbed her hand and proceeded to pull her towards the loo. She was a little confused by Trisha's actions, but didn't object. Trisha paced back and forth, finally resting against the sink. "Are you all right, Trisha?" Nikki asked concerned, and wondering why the hell were they inside the loo. _

_"What are your plans after school Nikki?" Trisha asked quickly, changing the subject._

_Nikki was dumbfounded. Why was Trisha acting so nervous? "Psychology and Behavioural Sciences at the University of Cambridge." _

_"Commendable. I'm going to be a teacher. Do you have a specialty in mind?" Trisha asked, taking a fag out from her bag. She offered Nikki who declined, then smiled and proceeded to light the fag._

_"I dunno yet, but I want to get my doctorate, maybe in neuroscience, perhaps becoming a neuropsychologist or a psychologist. I'm not really sure at this moment what I want." _

_"With your brains, you could get two doctorate and not sneeze about it." Trisha said smiling. _

_Nikki cringed. She wanted to be looked at as normal and not some close to genius status. She wasn't a genius by any means, but her high IQ afforded her with the ability to skip two grades and breeze exams. In fact, her parents held her behind, choosing to keep her grounded and decided that they wanted her to stay close to her own peers age by two years, rather than being with students who were five or six years older. She always had a thirst for knowledge at a young age but she hated when teachers fussed over her._ _Nikki said, looking at Trisha who looked more at ease. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" _

_Trisha laughed childishly. "Hey, let's get out of here okay. It's getting a little stuffy." _

_Nikki was even more confused. Why the hell did Trisha drag her into the loo, looking so nervous, like she was going to cough out a hairball, and then without warning, wanting to leave as quickly as she came. She wasn't going to push it. She didn't exactly know Trisha. The only opinions she formed were the fantasies in her head. _

_Once they got outside, the warm air filled their nostrils. Trisha yawned. "It's really dark out here, isn't it? As a child I was always so afraid of the dark. I suppose I still am but I'm so glad you're walking with me," Trisha turned towards Nikki. "What was your question again?" _

_Nikki looked around, the night seemed still and quiet. It had an eerie quality to it. Normally the building was full of activities even this late in the evening. But tonight, though, with exams pretty much over, a lot of the students had already left to go back home. Some of the night-post had broken bulbs. Nikki noticed it the previous night and amused that some silly blokes were being stupid and throwing rocks at it. "My question is - how did it feel to be chosen the most popular student?"_

_"It was an over-the-top affair that made my skin crawl. People laughing and congratulating each other with clay faces and fake interest in things they could care less about. It was really boring, the students in here are so boring," Trisha said thinking that no amount of money can make them grow a brain. Like Nikki, she thought most students were just rich snobs, thumbing their nose down on others. That was an ugly quality she hated and it reminded her of her parents. Her wealthy upbringing afforded her with a lot of options but her parents were too stuffy and proper. She wanted so much to rebel but never could find the strength to do so. "Sometimes I just want to ride like the wind. Be free to be who I am supposed to be. But I can't if I am to keep up with my family's name. Getting married is expected and I just feel…at times like I'm being suffocated." Trisha said, her eyes getting watery and she felt so defeated. She looked up at Nikki with a pleading look and then sighed softly. _

_Nikki was gob-smacked. She was baring a little of her soul and it was a soul full of confusion, anger, and genuine sadness. It pulled on Nikki's heart strings. It was horrible that someone beautiful as Trisha was miserable and she wanted to hold Trisha and find out what secrets she held so dear. But she was not going to push her way through._

"_Are you seeing anyone special?" Trisha blurted out._

_Nikki laughed. She wished she could think of something smart and witty to say to Trisha walking alongside with her. "No, I'm not seeing anyone special or otherwise?" _

_"You probably just haven't found the right girl yet, Nikki. The girls in this school are rather stuck-up and pretentious. You're different." Trisha said, momentarily forgetting about her surroundings.__"Have you been in love? Something tells me if you have it isn't with Thomas." Nikki grinned, slightly._ _Trisha tilted her head towards Nikki, her eyes glossy, then, she grinned. "You'd be true on that note, Nikki." She then smiled, baring her perfect white teeth. "You're cute when you grin like that, Nikki. You must have girls coming on to you all the time." _

_"I consider myself a nerd and ordinary, so I don't usually have to beat babes off of me with a stick. Although, I've had my fair share of pick-ups." Nikki said jokingly. In truth, she was particular picky when it came to dating. Most of the girls that she dated were conceited and hallow. No one was able to move her heart and most of the time she turned them down politely. "I'm rather fussy when it comes to dating. I can't stand pretentious girls and their hallow stories."_

_Trisha grabbed Nikki's arm and put her arm around it, so they would be walking side by side, which surprised Nikki at first. She wasn't expecting, popular Trisha Harris to be so friendly in a physical manner. Nevertheless, Nikki felt a warm sensation surge through her body. "Nikki, you shouldn't berate yourself. I think you're beautiful and smart. You have that dark mysterious look about you. And believe me when I say I've seen the way some girls look at you lustfully." _

_Nikki rolled her eyes in embarrassment. "What an observation when you don't really know me. Trust me, I'm not that mysterious." _

_"I know a thing or two, and besides, you look adorable with your hair messy like that. You just don't realise how sensual you can be. Perhaps you're just shy about expressing it. Most people are shy about showing their true feelings. It is human nature I suppose." Trisha smiled, biting her lower lip and feeling a shyness come over her._ _Nikki continued looking at Trisha who she thought was flirting with her. Trisha's engaged to be married, but why would she be flirting so obviously. But then, she wasn't acting like a blushing-bride-to-be either. Nikki wondered where Trisha was heading with all this talk._ _"Do you think I'm attractive, Nikki?" Trisha said her voice a little uneven but keeping her eyes on Nikki._

_Nikki almost choked on her saliva. 'Damn! Woman, don't you know how bloody beautiful you are'. "I think everyone in this school thinks you're beautiful, and half the blokes in here would do just about anything to be in your company." _

_"Yes, I'm sure they would. But most blokes in this school are so shallow, and that isn't what I asked you," Trisha said with conviction. She wasn't going to let Nikki off the hook so easily. "I wanted to know if you, Nikki, think I'm beautiful." _

_What a question Nikki thought, and how forceful she thought Trisha was sounding. Maybe Trisha was nervous, but why? And why the sudden need of approval from her? She wasn't quite sure where the line of questioning was leading, but she was bound to find out. "To be truthful, the first time I saw you I felt an attraction. You're quite beautiful. But in reality, it wasn't just your looks, you had something I cannot put in words. Thomas is one lucky bloke." _

_Trisha smiled with approval. "Do you mind if I ask you another question, Nikki?" _

_"Yeah, go ahead." Nikki said smiling, what did she have to lose? She just confessed she was attracted to Trisha and she didn't run the opposite direction._

_"Would you have ever considered asking me out on a date if you didn't know that I was with Thomas?" Trisha said squarely, her voice cracked. Her breathing became harder. _

_Nikki paused for a moment. She didn't have to think hard, of course she would. The first time she laid eyes on Trisha, she was infatuated with her, but of course, she got over it once she realised she wasn't gay material. "Quite honestly, Trisha, I would have followed you like a puppy." Nikki laughed nervously. "But I'm a girl and you're a girl, I knew my limits. Not much fun being in an unrequited love affair." Nikki said blushing. _

_"Is that so," Trisha smiled warmly. She couldn't believe how charming and honest Nikki was. _

_"Yeah," Nikki blushed, all shades of red. "I wouldn't have done anything stupid or embarrassing. I know when not to cross a line, especially with a straight girl." _

_Trisha seemed a little disappointed by the revelation. "Oh, I see." _

_"Well, it would've been awkward if you had known my true intention. You probably would have slapped me or rejected me politely, and I didn't need to look the fool." Nikki tried to explain. Why did Trisha have that disappointed look in her eyes? She couldn't read Trisha properly._

_"I wouldn't have slapped you, Nikki." Trisha smiled, pulling the strands of hair behind her ear. "In fact," there was a long pause afterwards, "Truth, I would have wanted you to." _

_Nikki's jaw dropped ten folds. She turned her head quickly towards Trisha who was looking at her intensely. "Trisha, did I just hear correctly?" _

_"Don't be so shocked. I don't think you realise how attractive and charming you really are." Trisha said boldly. "And, I'm curious how it would feel to kiss another girl. The thing is Nikki, I wanted to kiss you since I talked to you." _

_Nikki didn't know what she wanted at that moment. She was with the most popular girl in college, and Nikki was contemplating whether to kiss her or not. It was maddening._

_"I'm sorry, maybe I'm being a little too forceful," Trisha said, her voice sounding nervous. "I like you Nikki, and maybe I'm not being obvious enough. I liked you for a long time. I think I might be confused about my sexuality." Nikki had to hold back the gleam she felt inside. Could this be a dream? Or a nightmare she was going to wake up from. Trisha Harris might actually be a gay? That would surely cause a riot among the blokes, not to mention probably give Trisha's parents a heart attack._

_"Say something, Nikki," Trisha grabbed Nikki's arm. She was beginning to panic._

_"Sorry, you just threw me for a loop. I just wasn't expecting it coming from you." Nikki said trying to break herself from the spell she felt she was under._

_"Coming from me? What did you expect? Is it because I don't look the part? Well, you don't look the part either." Trisha said her voice defensive. She was beginning to wonder if she made a mistake by being so forthright with Nikki._

_"I'm, sorry, Trisha. That's not what I meant. I'm just surprised. Nothing exciting ever happens to me, in fact never." Nikki said loudly trying to calm her nerves. She did not want to push Trisha away. _

_"No." Trisha said looking intently at Nikki. _

_Nikki shook her head. "It all makes sense to me now. You're hesitation, your nervousness, and sadness. I don't know how you've dealt with it, dealing with all the pretence and fake smiles, but I got to hand it to you. You're brave for opening yourself up to me like that." _

_Trisha looked depressed and tired. "The thing is I've always felt different, but with being popular at school I wanted to fit in, and fitting in is having a boyfriend, or people look at you oddly. I think I'm probably gay - no I'd be lying about that. I know I am, but how do you really know for sure, Nikki?" _

_"It's an individual thing. I can't really explain, except that it feels perfectly naturally to me. Without sounding cliché, I can't imagine myself being any other way. It's in every nerve cell, my blood, my whole being with absolute certainty. It feels absolutely normal to me, even though others would disagree. Am I making any sense because I sound a bit confused even to myself?" Nikki said a little bewildered by everything. "Have you ever been with a girl?" Nikki asked cautiously._

_Trisha blushed. "Well, not exactly, Nikki," she hesitated. "Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I did sleep with a good friend of mine last year. We were both so wasted. No, that's not true. I wasn't exactly wasted. I knew what I was doing with her. We both just pretended that we were just experimenting. It's not like I had feelings for her, but more than I wanted to know how it felt to be with a girl." _

_"You, dark horse," Nikki said jokingly. It took a lot of courage for Trisha to tell Nikki what she was feeling, and she admired her for that. In fact, Nikki felt more compelled to kiss her, now than ever. "So, any big revelation?"_

_They both laughed out-loud. "Do I shock you Nikki, with my openness?" Trisha giggled. She had to look down in fear of laughing silly. "Well to be quite honest, it felt wonderful at that moment. I mean, it was different than being with a bloke. I felt so much more at home but at the same time it scared me." Trisha said with a sad look in her eyes. "That was the first and last time I was with a girl. I just don't get that with Thomas. You know, I just, well…want to feel that again. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you."_

_"Hey, don't sweat it?" Nikki said in a seductive manner. "Do you realise how many times I fantasied about kissing you?"_

_Trisha bit her lip then turned quickly towards Nikki, mere inches apart. They stood like that for what must have seemed a million seconds, when in fact it was only a few seconds. And without thinking, Nikki leaned over and kissed Trisha on the lips. It was a soft, warm kiss, which only lasted a few seconds, but long enough to send shivers down Trisha's spine, sending tiny spasms throughout her body. The kiss had affected Nikki too, who was trying to come out from the haze that seemed to temporally immobilize her._

_Nikki looked at Trisha, her eyes still closed. She wondered what Trisha felt. Did she feel the same as her? When Trisha came out of her trance, she smiled at Nikki, blushing full red._

_The only word's Trisha could spew out were, "Your lips are very soft." _

_"Yours too." Nikki blushed, as she caressed Trisha face._

_"Nikki, I think I could fall in love with you." Trisha said, feeling warm all over. What she really wanted was Nikki to touch her. Trisha felt a sexual energy so strong that she felt her knees buckle a little._

_Nikki leaned in and kissed Trisha again, this time, the kiss lasting longer." Both girls felt the sexual charge and wondered how they were going to move. _

_"Nikki," Trisha ran her fingers through Nikki's hair. "You feel so good, I don't know if I can let you go."_

_Nikki smiled. She couldn't fathom how she got here but Trisha being vulnerable and sensual was turning her on. She needed release and as much as she didn't want to stop, they were in a public area. "Come on let's get out of here before someone notices us." Nikki said, realising that they were in the middle of the street. "I much rather have you somewhere else."_

_Then figures came out of the darkness like stalking wolves. It was hard for Nikki to distinguish how many were there because it was dark until they started to talk. Four and one hovering outside the immediate group, Nikki thought, as the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Then Nikki started to shake, or was it Trisha who had suddenly grabbed her arm in a vicelike grip?_

_"Well, what do we have here, mates? We snagged us a real beauty. Well if it isn't popular perfect Miss Harris and her lesbo lover having a snog section." A voice in the dark replied. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_The once still warm air felt like a cold draft, permeating the hearts of the petrified girls, who knew distinctively that something terrible was going to happen. It was in the harsh laughter of the hooligans who hovered around like wolves, gaming for their prey._

_"What do you want? Leave us alone, we haven't done anything wrong." Trisha managed to squeak before a hand was clamped over her mouth, and she was pulled away from the safety of Nikki's arm._

_"Come on, this is serious, cut it out. This isn't funny you know," Nikki gasped before a hand was around her neck and mouth, gripping it tightly, that she had difficulty breathing._

_"It's not supposed to be funny, so shut up you sodding dyke! One more word out of you, and I won't be so forgiving. We have plans for Little Miss Queen and you're not invited." A deep callus voice said. Nikki struggled to free herself, but the arms holding her were muscular and hard. In that moment she knew escape was not an option._

_"Now that was quite a kiss there, ladies. I quite enjoyed it myself." One of the jocks said, standing beside Trisha, mocking her, as he licked his lips. It was hard to distinguish their faces, with it being dark and they wore black hoods, which covered most their faces. She couldn't recognise them._

_"Yeah, we didn't realise that Miss Popular was in fact a lezzy. You're kind disgust me." The taller one said laughing harshly. Nikki wanted to scream and attack him. Her anger was boiling and she knew something terrible was going to happen to Trisha. _

_"What do you want? Leave her alone. We haven't done anything wrong and if you want to hurt someone then take me." Nikki said bravely. I must be out of my head Nikki thought, but at that moment she didn't have any control and she knew exactly what would happen if she didn't find some way to stop this assault._

_"Oh don't worry Romeo I'm sure Juliet won't mind us for a while." One of the oily jocks said as his other mates express amusement with his choice of words._

_"You bastard," Nikki shouted, before she fell to her knees. Nikki watched in horror as the two dark forms dragged Trisha off the path and into dense undergrowth. "Please let us go. We haven't done anything," Nikki pleaded. "You won't get away with it." Nikki said angrily as she whimpered on the ground in pain, knowing she was probably going to be next._

_"A sodding dyke like you going to stop us, I think not. We aren't interested in a dyke like you. So keep your sodding gob shut." Nikki kicked backward, hoping her boots would meet flesh. It didn't of course. She felt a hard jab to her stomach and then one to her face. She went limp with pain as she fell against the cold pavement. She noticed a dark figure on the sideline leaving. With the side of her face to the ground, she could hear running feet. Maybe he wasn't one of them. Maybe he was going to get help._

_It seemed like an eternity, but it was only five minutes before the next jock traded places. A moment later Nikki managed to get free, kneeling on the ground, crying with pain, knowing what was happening to Trisha, and she felt helpless, defenceless, and sick to her stomach. Nikki had to do something, anything. She couldn't allow this senseless crime to continue. She struggled to her knees, anger riveting through her. Her lungs were burning dry. The moment she was on her feet, she screamed at the top of her lungs, the sound carrying in the quiet evening, and with all her strength she grabbed a hold of one of the blokes and started pounding her fits into him. Then she felt her head snap backward as a knee jabbed into the side of her head. Nikki was amazed that she didn't lose conscience, and when one of them tried to put his hand over her mouth she bit down hard on his hand and knew she drew blood. She'd bitten to the very bone. She spit the blood from her mouth._

_"What the fuck," He looked at his hand, bleeding then said to one of his mates, "bitch dyke needs a lesson." Then he punched Nikki hard across the face._

_"Let's get out of here before someone recognises us." One of them said, obviously worried about getting caught._

_"Yeah, okay." But before they left, one of them proceeded to kick Nikki again on the head, as she sprawled on the floor, agonizing in pain. She felt as if she was going to faint but she had to keep herself conscience. _

_Nikki heard them leave, laughing and slapping each other on the back. She crawled over to the undergrowth, to where they had taken Trisha. Horrified she gathered Trisha into her arms with all the strength she had left. Her head rolled listlessly. "Trisha, I have to leave you here for a few minutes while I get help. I can keep screaming, but it probably won't do any good. I'll be right back." _

_"No!" Trisha whispered, struggling to get on her knees. "Don't tell anyone. Just help me get up. I think I can walk with your assistance. I just need to lean on you." _

_Nikki was gob-smacked. Why the hell was Trisha downplaying what just happened? "Let me get the security. They'll call for help. You need to go to a Hospital or the Crisis Centre at least." _

_"No," Trisha was adamant in her conviction. "You're bleeding Nikki. Did they?" _

_"No. They didn't get a chance to put their paws on me," Nikki said, her upper lip bleeding and she felt like she had been run over by a truck. "I'm so sorry, I tried to get loose to help you, but they held me down. Are you sure you can walk, Trisha?" _

_"I can walk, really," Trisha said. Her hair was a mess and her hands were dirty and her face smeared with dirt. "When we get close to the dorm, will you go inside and bring out a coat or something? Can I stay in your room, Nikki? My roommate is still here." Trisha said, struggling to get on her feet._

_"Of course you can stay with me, but you need to see a Doctor, Trisha. You have to report this. Are you listening to me?" Nikki said shaking Trisha gently._

_"We'll talk about this later. Just get me inside and into the shower. Please, Nikki I beg you." Trisha pleaded._

_"You, you can't wash away the evidence, Trisha," Nikki said amazed that Trisha seemed calm after what just transpired. "Listen, I know where the Crisis Centre is. I can take you there right now. Please, you have to confide in the proper authorities." She wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but she had to somehow convince Trisha to seek help. She couldn't allow Trisha to sweep it under the carpet. It wasn't right._

_"No. Not now. Just be my friend and help me, please," Trisha said, tears rolling down her face. She looked comatose, standing with a blank expression on her face. Nikki had to be supportive towards Trisha even if she thought she was making a mistake. _

_After walking what seemed like forever they finally approached the building. "There's the dorm up ahead. Stay in the shadows, and I'll run in and get my raincoat. Are you sure you're alright?" Nikki asked her eyes watery from the pain and the guilt she felt. Everything about this screamed wrong._

_"No, I'm not all right. Will you just hurry please," Trisha demanded!_

_Nikki lumbered off, her thoughts so chaotic she thought she was going to pass out. She couldn't believe what just transpired, it made her nauseous. She felt such anger than one would feel if they were violated in the most ghastly fashioned. How could someone commit such a heinous crime? She was still trying to wrestle the thought of Trisha being gang-raped. Once inside the dorm, she ran up the stairs with accelerated speed towards her floor even though she was in a lot of pain. She rummaged for her raincoat. She grabbed a bottled of water that was on the table, and quickly wiped the blood from her face then she scurried back down the hall, not bothering to lock her door. Students coming into the building stared at her, some of them shouting greetings while others mumbled and muttered about finals the following day. She ignored them all as she raced to the spot where she left Trisha._

_"Drink this, and I'll help you slowly put on the raincoat. It should keep you covered." Nikki said as she tried to wipe the dirt from Trisha's face. "When you feel steady enough to walk, I want you to lean on me. I ran into a couple of girls on the first floor. You can pretend you had too much to drink." Nikki said, holding on to Trisha's arm._

_"I don't drink Nikki," Trisha said her voice strained. _

_"Okay, we'll say you just feel sick. I don't like this, Trisha. It doesn't feel right. You need to see a Doctor. Please, change your mind and let me call the authorities." Nikki pleaded once more. She didn't quite understand why Trisha was contemplating forgetting the whole ordeal, like it was just something that happened._

_"Please, Nikki, not now. Let's just get out of here, okay?" Trisha looked at Nikki. She wanted to break down but she felt that she needed to be strong. She didn't want Nikki seeing her vulnerable, weak. She knew that Nikki would probably try to convince her to seek help but she did not want to go down that avenue. She couldn't bear to live through that ordeal again. Deep inside she knew that she should confide in others but she was overwhelmed with the thought of being victimized again. She had known about other girls who were raped in school and nothing or little was ever done. And if they did get prosecuted, they most likely served a light sentence. She could not bear others to look at her differently. She was also afraid that she would be ousted and didn't want to be labelled as a lesbian. She knew it was a selfish, cowardly act, but right now, she couldn't deal with everything. _

_Nikki sighed heavily. "All right, all right, but this is against everything I believe in. We can't let those blokes get away without being punished properly." _

_"We don't even know what they looked like. One of them made me swallow. I threw up all over him." Trisha said disgusted. _

_Nikki wanted to cry. Her hold on Trisha tightened. She wanted to hold Trisha tightly and whisk her away. Nikki felt a certain need to be protective over Trisha. "There's the dorm. I don't see anyone. Can you make it?" _

_"Yes." Trisha replied softly. _

_"Okay, let's go." After a few steps Nikki realised that there didn't appear to be anyone around. "Good, I think everyone must've left. We'll just wait until you're ready. Just hold on to my arm." Nikki's heart was racing, and she kept telling herself to calm down. How could something like this happen? How was she going to change Trisha's mind? Everything was shite! The minute Nikki locked the door to her room Trisha slipped to the floor and curled into a ball position. Hard sobs whacked her body. Nikki dropped to the floor and stared at Trisha helplessly. "You can't let them get away with this, Trisha. You just can't. It's not right" _

_"You know how it all works, Nikki. They were all jocks. They'll lie, the way they always do. School rape is just a fact of life. I can't identify them, and that's the bottom line. I'm done crying now," Trisha said in a defeated voice. "Help me into the shower and promise me you'll stand guard, okay?" _

_"I promise," Nikki looked at Trisha who seemed lost. "Trisha, you can't wash away what happened." _

_"I can try. Do you think for one minute I don't know what would happen if everyone found out? For Christ sakes, Nikki, they saw me kissing you and I'm sure everything would get distorted and the truth would get lost between all the lies. My parents would surely disown me. My friends would look at me strangely, and Thomas would probably be disgusted with me. He would probably say that I wanted it. This is between us, Nikki. If you tell, I'll deny it. I want you to understand that." _

_"Is that what you're worried about, your reputation? That sounds absurd. Do you hear yourself?" Nikki said angrily. She couldn't believe that Trisha would allow her fears to do the right thing._

_"It's my right, Nikki. You can't possibly understand what I'm going through." Trisha snapped back, her throat scratchy._

_Nikki looked at Trisha with anger. "You're right, I can't possibly know what you're going through," Nikki said sarcastically, "But remember I was there too. How do you think I feel? I couldn't stop it and the only way that I can help you - overcome all this shite and you won't let me try. I can't just stand idle and watch those sodding pricks get away with what they've done to you." _

_"Nikki, I'm sorry, but it's my choice and you should respect it. I just can't have anyone knowing what I am. I'm just not ready for it. I know you don't understand but I need you to support me. I'm not as strong as you are. I'm know I'm being a coward but…please understand Nikki" Trisha shot back. Nothing was going to change her mind._

_"You didn't invite the violation. You're a victim, dammit. It's not your fault. If you do nothing, they'll get away with it. They'll probably do it to someone else, don't you see." Nikki pleaded, "You can't hide forever what you feel inside and you're stronger than you think. Don't let others guilt you into living a life that is not your own. What are you so afraid of? Being labelled as a lesbian?" _

_"You don't understand, Nikki," Trisha looked at Nikki with despair. "It's hard being the perfect child with the perfect life. It's easier to forget I have attractions towards other girls." _

_Nikki shook her head. "That doesn't solve anything. It won't make what you feel inside go away." _

_"I know that. I wish I were as strong as you Nikki. I wish I could tell my parents about myself, but I can't. I can't deal with it now." Trisha pleaded. She knew Nikki would not understand. How could she, when she didn't understand herself. Life was shite and she did not have any answers. She was attracted to Nikki and wished nothing more than to be free and live her life the way she wanted. But every decision has consequences and she wasn't ready to face them. _

_"If not now, when? Ten years down the road when you're unhappily married with 2.5 kids, wasting your life away for the greater good?" Nikki said her voice full of emotions._

_"I don't want to think about that. I'll deal with my problem in my own way. I have two finals tomorrow, and then I'm driving home." Trisha said. "Please don't look at me like that, Nikki, please. All I want right now is for you to be my friend and help me. Are you sure it's okay for me to sleep here tonight?" _

_Nikki was tormented. She was confused. She didn't want Trisha to pretend that tonight didn't happen, yet at the same time, if she were truly to be a friend to Trisha, she would have to swallow her pride and bite the bullet. "Okay Trisha, I have an extra blanket that you could use." _

_"Do you have an extra pair of jumpers?" _

_"I wish you'd let me do something, Trisha. I don't feel right about this." Nikki said again, thinking Trisha was out of her mind. She could understand why Trisha would be scared about the whole rape ordeal but pretending it will go away on its own was just insane._

_"I'm doing what I have to do. I know you don't understand, but it's for the best. Can we go to the loo now?" Trisha pleaded. "I want you to throw my clothes away, and burn them if you think that it's necessary." _

_"That's evidence, Trisha. You can't expect me to just burn your clothes. What if you change your mind in the future?" Nikki said, almost in tears._

_"Please Nikki, you must. Do it for me. I'm asking you as a favour." Trisha begged._

_Nikki quietly walked away and opened a drawer and pulled out a brown paper bag. "I'll take care of it." _

_"I wish I'd taken the time to know you before all this happened, Nikki. It's so strange. I trust you the way I trust my family." Trisha said, winching in pain. _

_"Obviously you don't trust me enough or you'd seek help. This whole ugly scene could make your relationship stronger with them. It doesn't have to be this way." Nikki protested. _

_"If you believe that for even one minute, I'm sure the violins will surely be playing your song." Trisha said harshly. Nikki looked down in disgust. She wasn't going to change Trisha's mind. This she knew. "Look, Nikki, I'm sorry about what I said, it was out of order. Promise me you'll stand guard in front of the loo. Look at me, I've been a selfish cow and you're hurt and bleeding." _

_"I'm okay, Trisha. I don't need tending," Nikki said with anguish in her voice. She wanted to scream at the stars and beg the question – 'was her lifestyle so horrible that it warrant creeps to do horrific things' _

_A half hour later, Nikki opened the bathroom door. Steam spiralled upward and then sailed out the open door. "Trisha, you've been in there long enough. You need to come out now." _

_"I don't feel clean just yet. Just a while longer, Nikki, please." Trisha said, letting the water fall onto her skin, as if she could escape the memories._

_Nikki walked over to the shower and turned off the water. "All the showering in the world isn't going to make you feel clean unless you do something about it. You're going to need to talk to a counsellor when you go home. Will you at least do that for me?" Nikki turned away as she waited for Trisha to cover herself. _

_"I don't know, perhaps. I live in a small town, Nikki. People talk gossip all the time. How long do you think it will take for the bruises to go away?" Trisha asked trying to change the subject. _

_"I don't know Trisha. You could wear long sleeves, I'm sure no one will take notice, but that's the least of your problems. I have a camera. Do you want me to take pictures of your bruises? The police do that all the time in rape cases. Just in case you change your mind and want to report the incident later on?" Nikki smiled, trying to entice Trisha to change her mind._

_"No, I'm not going to change my mind. What I would like is some alcohol so I can go to sleep. Did you lock the door?" Trisha asked, feeling fragile and weary. Her mind was chaotic and she was hurting. _

_"It's locked and I thought you said you didn't drink." Nikki said her brow upwards._

_"Well, under these circumstances," Trisha replied, her voice sounding tired as she went to sit of the bed. _

_Nikki nodded in agreement. She couldn't argue with that explanation. "Sleep in my bed, Trisha. Don't argue, just do it." _

_"How can I ever repay you for all your kindness to me this evening? Will you sit with me till I fall asleep?" Trisha said feeling the need for Nikki's protection. She was glad she wasn't alone and she wanted to hold onto Nikki for dear life but her arms couldn't move._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I feel I'm partly to blame for the whole situation." Nikki said feeling dismayed._

_"Nikki, don't. It wasn't your fault. You tried your best and they hurt you. I'm just really glad I wasn't alone through this ordeal." Nikki held Trisha's hand. "I just wish…I wished that things were different. I think I could have fallen in love with you." Trisha said sadly. "I wish I was brave as you Nikki."_

_Nikki sighed. She knew everything was shite and nothing would ever be the same. Her one chance to get to know Trisha was tarnished. "I'm here, babe." Nikki laid her head on the edge of the bed, pulling Trisha closer as she wrapped her arms around her._

_"Do you know what one of those bastards said to me while he was raping me? Trisha said sleepily. "He said, 'silence is golden'." _

_Nikki's shoulders collapsed the minute she heard Trisha breathing even out, she started to shake. Like Trisha, she wanted to curl into the ball and shut the world from the inside. She couldn't do that, though. She had to stay alert and watch over Trisha in case she woke during the night with nightmares. This was shite! She knew that nothing would be the same from this moment on. She decided she could do something, anything. She knew Trisha would be angry with her if she found out but Nikki couldn't just stand by, so she rolled carefully the sleeves of Trisha's pyjamas and took pictures of her cuts and bruises. 'Just in case, she thought'. Then she slipped the pictures into the bag without looking at them. Then Nikki Wade did something she hadn't done in a very long time._

_She prayed. _

* * *

_"This is it, Nikki, your big day!" Barbara Hunt, Nikki's godmother, said happily. "How does it feel to be graduating first in your class?" _

_"It feels brilliant. Barbara, do you mind if I leave you for a few minutes. I have to find someone before all hell breaks loose." _

_"Go ahead, honey. I will go to my seat and wait. Take all the time you need." _

_Nikki fought her way through happy, laughing students and their equally happy parents until she spotted someone she recognised who might know where Trisha was. She nudged her shoulder gently, and asked, "Have you seen Trisha Harris?" _

_The girl who had long, sandy brown hair stared at Nikki for a long minute. "Didn't you hear?" _

_Nikki looked around her, smiling faces, as the noise turned to silence and it felt like the world was spinning around. Her instincts told her that whatever the girl was going to tell her, she wasn't going to like it. "Hear what?" Nikki whispered fearfully._

_"Trisha killed herself two days ago. Thomas didn't attend the graduation. He's having a real hard time of it. Were you a friend of Trisha?" _

_"Yes. Yes, I was." Nikki stammered as she made her way through the crowd, tears streaming down her cheeks. She thought about the paper bag with Trisha's clothes, and the pictures that she'd taken home with her and were now in Barbara's garage. (Just in case) Next week she'll come back and file a report with the authorities. If it stirred up a can of worms with Trisha's family and Thomas, then so be it. They deserved to know the real truth as to why Trisha killed herself. No death should be in vain. Nikki wiped at her tears with her sleeve, her throat constricted then quietly took her place near the end of the graduation line._

_(Parts of my story will be hard to read as some subject matters are sensitive. I just hope I can bring justice to all, and hope that those who read my story can read it with an open mind. Just enjoy, as my mind fumble with ideas. Thanks.)_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_"You'd better run old, woman." The heckling was merciless. "If you're not out of sight in two minutes, we'll set the dogs on you." _

_As she fled, Monica Porter prayed the thugs would not carry out their threat. She knew the danger, for they were no different from many others who had made fun of her along the way. The old woman had lost count the times when she'd been spat at, ridiculed at, or hounded away. People were vindictive, especially to those who had no fixed address or money. Generally, they would bestow scorn and contempt towards her. Being unwelcomed was something she had learned to live with. She was under no illusions and there were times when she met with kindness and compassion, but these occasions were few and far between. Yet Monica had neither home nor family, no one who would miss her if she disappeared into the darkness. Her life was in the diaries she so jealously guarded. In spite of her dishevelled, neglected appearance, the old woman spoke in a soft, well-bred manner that might have astounded the malevolence faces that saw her only as an object of derision. Like many others who had never taken the trouble to know her, they would have been astonished to learn that Monica Porter, the unkempt and aged vagabond who tramped the streets, carrying all her worldly possessions in a soiled tapestry bag, was once a fine, respected lady. Gasping and exhausted, Monica came to a busier part of the dock. _

_"Morning dear, are you alright?" Nikki asked, watching the old woman who looked tattered and worn. Monica turned nervously, wondering if her pursuers were following. They were, and her heart sank. If only she was younger, stronger, she might give them a run for their money. Nikki paused in mid thought. She had seen the fear in the old woman's eyes and noticed how the thugs hovered a short distance away. She bristled. "Bothering you, are they, ma'am?" When Monica nodded, Nikki walked away, spoke to a couple of ship workers who were unloading the dock, and together they approached the thugs. On seeing the other bigger men, the thugs made off like the hooligans they were._

_"I suspect that they won't be bothering you in the future, ma'am." Nikki smiled as she took in Monica's appearance. She was shivering. "Where are you headed to?" _

_"Nowhere in particular." Monica said looking down. Although she was grateful that the stranger came to her defence, she knew not to get too friendly. _

_Nikki regarded her with concern. There was an air of dignity about the old woman that startled her. Her smile was bewitching, and her dark brown eyes were arresting, deep and troubled yet filled with the brightness of a summer's morning. Nikki bent to stroke the cat that was in the old woman's tapestry bag, which seemed to be frightened. "Not very friendly is he?"_

_"She's just hungry, that's all." Monica fussed on about the cat._

_"My name is Nikki Wade, and you are?" _

_"An old tired woman," Monica chuckled, which didn't go unnoticed by Nikki. It was nice to see the old woman had a sense of humour._

_Nikki smiled, running her fingers through her hair. This woman had spunk. "Pity she's not fierce though," Nikki commented on Monica's worn out cat. "Those hooligans might not have been so keen to tail you." _

_Monica smiled. "That's because she's not a cat, really," she joked. "She's an old watcher in disguise. And you shouldn't be keen on stereotyping her either. She's feistier than she looks." _

_"You're not exactly a killer of the un-dead. You ought to be more careful ma'am," Nikki warned. "This area is known for louts with nothing better to do with their time. Anyway, what brings you out on a cold November morning when most folks are in their warm comfortable bed?" Nikki could see the old woman was cold, and shivering. With only a thin skirt and tattered old jumper covered by a shawl, she was trembling. Nikki suspected that maybe she didn't have a home to go to._

_In a soft, well-mannered tone that amazed Nikki, she explained, "The name is Monica Porter and some of us don't have a bed for comfort." Monica's answer shamed Nikki and she was slightly embarrassed by it all. _

_"I'm sorry if I sounded a bit rough. I didn't mean to generalize," Nikki murmured, digging in her pocket and taking out 50 pounds. "It's all I've got on me, I do apologise, but I'd like you to have it, please." _

_Putting up her hand, Monica smiled and then she held Nikki's hand. She held it for a long while, looking deeply into Nikki's eyes as if she was looking into her soul. That troubled Nikki. Then Monica released Nikki's hand, her face changed. It was mixed with melancholy and optimism. "I don't need your hard earned money, dear. You've been awfully kind enough. I'm very grateful, but now we best be on our way." Monica turned, heading away from the docks._

_Nikki was left stranded. She felt the need to help this old woman, but why? When Monica held Nikki's hand, something passed through them. It was eerie and it couldn't be explained through reason or rhyme. "Wait a minute!" Nikki shouted. Monica's soft smile and independent manner reminded Nikki of her late grandmother, though her grandmother had kind, wrinkled eyes, while Monica had clear dark, striking eyes. "Where will you go?" Nikki asked._

_"Here and there." Experience had taught Monica to be careful with strangers. Even with kind ones._

_"Might as well find a warm place to have breakfast," Nikki said, "and I'm not taking 'no' for an answer." Nikki smiled warmly. She wasn't ready to let the old woman go. She wanted to know more about her and her life. It sadden her to think that she roamed the streets alone with no home to go to."_

_Still wary of the thugs who had threatened her, Monica glanced nervously behind. "Looks like we've lost the little devils," she smiled. "I suppose it'd be safe enough now." _

_"Come on, Monica," Nikki gently held her hand out. "A little company for a change would do you good, and I hate having breakfast on my own. What do you say?" Nikki said, asking nicely and giving her best smile look._

_"Well, I suppose no harm could come out of eating. Could use a hot meal for a change." Both woman laughed as they walked along the boardwalk. _

* * *

_"If she dies without talking, we'll never know the truth," DCI Helen Stewart remarked as they approached the intersection. "One of them is guilty. Which one, though? That's the thing. Which one?"_

_"I'll put my money on Jack Daniels, the ex-lover," DI Dominic McAllister replied. "Guilty as hell if you ask me, Helen. He's been in trouble before for domestic battery."_

_"Minor things though." Helen said feeling agitated. She had her own beliefs about domestic violence. She had gone through with it as a child with her own parents. Those were memories that she tried to __suppress. "This is much more serious, Dominic. We're talking about murder. He might have been a right nuisance, a prick, but murder? No, I don't reckon that. He was too much of a coward. Of course, he's dead so we can't exactly ask him, can we?"_

_"There's a first for everything, Helen." Dominic replied wondering why she was being so adamant. He knew Helen was brilliant at what she did but he did think she could be too much of a stalwart. "He didn't deny stalking her in the past and he did have a run-in with her husband earlier, he admitted that much."_

_Helen shook her head. She rub her temple as if she was beginning to receive a headache. "I'm not denying that Jack was a mean bully. But I still don't think he's guilty of trying to murder her."_

_Dominic couldn't understand why Helen couldn't see the obvious. It was clear that Jack Daniels had to be guilty. There was no other explanation, but Helen always did the opposite. "Helen, why do you always have to be the martyr?"_

_"What about the husbands claim," Helen went on, "That he didn't know that his wife was having an affair."_

_"Are you saying you think her husband, Tim tried to kill her?" Dominic said, with a confused expression on his face._

_"The sod probably didn't realise they were still alive when he ran for help. Who's to say he didn't shoot his wife Mary first and then shoot Jack afterwards?" Helen said, undeterred. "What if he caught them, and in a jealous rage waited for the right execution to murder them? And why are his fingerprints all over the gun?" _

_Dominic shook his head, a smug little smile on his face as he concluded. "Jack's prints were also on the gun. I'm sorry Helen but I think he's as guilty as they come."_

_"Bollocks, Dominic. That's a convenient explanation. Dead man can't talk" Helen spat. She knew something did not add up. Her gut feelings was telling her the case was not black and white. Yet she could not get anyone to agree with her opinion._

_"Tim told us why he shot Jack. He said that when he entered the house, he heard a gunshot and he ran into the bedroom where he saw Jack on top of her and he went after him, and they struggled for the gun and he shot him in self-defence." _

_Helen laughed, it was, a harsh tone. Dominic could be so naïve she thought to herself. He was after all, still wet behind the ears. "And what makes you assume Tim had no motive for killing them both? What makes you think they weren't having an affair behind his back, just like he claimed?"_

_"Because Jack's a known liar, Helen, and you know his rap sheet is a mile long. I know which bloke I believe. I've dealt with his type before."_

_Helen looked at Dominic. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did have it all wrong, but the crime reeked of revenged of the heart. "There's something strange about this whole business. When Jack burst into the police station bleeding to death, he was still carrying the murder weapon. He made no attempt to hide it, which makes me believe his story, that he probably took it for his own protection. Just before he died, he said that it was Tim who shot them. I wish we could have gotten more information before he died." Helen frowned. "Like, why was Jack at their house at that hour? Why would Jack want to kill Mary when he was obviously still in love with her, even after she got married to Tim?" Helen said, as they approached the hospital's front doors. "What was his motive? I know Tim's motive: jealous rage. So if Jack Daniels tried to kill Mary, why seek the police and not call for an ambulance? He must've known he was dying. Guilty conscience, I think not. If you ask me, Tim is making right fools of us all."_

_"Helen we've been over this. Everyone said it was a cut and dry case." Dominic was a man who looked at the immediate facts, made a fast opinion, and clung to it. "Jack Daniels did it all right, but his dirty little plan backfired and now he's ten feet under where he belongs. I say justice is served."_

_"Dominic, you've got a lot to learn. Instincts, and it's telling me we got it all wrong." Helen said. When they finally arrived on the third floor they noticed a patrol officer in front on Mary's door. Helen had to pull teeth from Superintendent Simon Stubberfield to get someone to watch over Mary. Her gut instincts told her that Tim, her husband might want to off her for good, just in case she does wake up and tells them who really tried to kill her. Helen was sure that he would try something. She knew he was guilty. Something about him left a foul scent. _

* * *

_The two of them became fast friends. They made a comical sight as they walked the streets. When they made their way to a restaurant, it was apparent that people were obviously staring at Monica's lack of cleanliness. People had no business judging and Nikki hated that characteristic in people. She hated superficial people._

_"Oh dear, I think they're all looking at me." Monica said, feeling a little self-conscience._

_"Pay no heed to them. Boorish idiots. Who are they to make judgment?" Nikki said loudly as if she was trying to make sure that everyone heard her._

_"It's quite alright dear. I'm used to this behaviour from others." Monica said, justifying their actions. "Be quiet and no one will be any the wiser." _

_"Well, it's not right. People ought to be kinder towards each other. What happened to being civil towards one another?" Nikki said, feeling her blood boil with anger. She needed to relax. She had a difficult week adjusting with a new patient, and when she went out for a jog this Saturday morning, she never imagined that she would meet someone out of the ordinary as Monica. It pleased Nikki. "What brought you here to London Monica," Nikki asked with curiosity. "I mean, judging by your accent, you're Irish."_

_Monica smiled. It was nice having a conversation with someone as young as Nikki. She reminded her of her younger years. "Well, having been on the road since first light, I had arrived in London. With no money but the holes in my shoes. I was hungry and cold, and, having consulted with wise old Miss Sadie, my cat, we decided that England was as good a place to start so here I am in London to stay awhile." Monica said with a wry little smile. Monica looked around at other tables and thought about warm eggs and bacon. She hadn't tasted a good meal in ages and her mouth watered at the prospect._

_"Do you have any family back home in Ireland or here in England?" Nikki asked._

_"I'm afraid, it's just Sadie and I." Monica said, moving her hand underneath the table to feed her cat some breadcrumbs._

_"Look, I know a few women shelters that you can go to. Settle your bones, have a hot meal. It's not much in the way of comfort, but they treat you right. Would you consider going to a place like that?" Nikki asked, but sensing that Monica would probably say no. It would clash with her independence she thought._

_"That's very kind of you, but I've done fine on my own." Monica protested. She could see the kindness in Nikki's eyes. She was young in her years but had a wise old heart she thought of Nikki. She wish more people were like her._

_"It's okay to accept help from others. You don't have to guard your privacy so tightly." Nikki said, trying not to sound pushy. Monica smiled at Nikki. She knew that Nikki had a good heart. She also knew dark secrets that Nikki held and what her future foretold. Monica was clairvoyant. The minute she touched Nikki, she sensed their paths intertwined for a reason. It was her destiny to be at London, at the docks. She was to meet Nikki and change destiny._

_"It's not like it used to be, is it?" Monica pondered softly. "There was a time when you could walk the streets and be safe, when you could pass the time of day and not be afraid somebody might snatch your bag or run you through when your back was turned." She chuckled. "It doesn't matter to people though. All they're concerned about is having a full belly and a warm place to stay, and nobody can blame them for that, can they." _

_"No, I suppose we can't." Nikki agreed. She felt a sense of remorse for Monica who didn't have family and probably would die alone, cold, like frozen meat on the unforgiving streets. The thought sickened her, but she knew that was reality. She couldn't save everyone from despair, but she would at least try to help Monica the best she could._

_Monica's kind brown eyes misted over, her voice falling to a whisper. "As for me, what does it matter? Who is there left to care about a silly old bird like me?" Monica gave a sad little grunt. "Nobody, that's who, but never mind," she remarked wisely. She was not one to dwell on the downside of life. "When the time comes, we can say that we were here, and we made a difference. In the end, that's all that counts." _

_Nikki touched Monica's hand then squeezed it tightly. "Hey, I care what happens to you. And I won't forget you." _

_"Yes, I'm sure you do, Nikki. But once I walk out that door, you may very well never see me again. Will you still care for an old bird like me?" Monica said, holding on to Nikki's hand. She knew what her purpose was as sad as it might seem._

_Nikki was silent. She really didn't know what to say. She really hadn't thought that far. She was only thinking about the moment. Even if she helped find a shelter for Monica, would she really take time from her busy schedule to see her? She didn't know the answer to that question. "I suppose you're right in a sense. Don't have a crystal ball and I can't foretell the future. I only wish to help you find a little peace in this mad world. Would that be so bad of me?" _

_Monica gently ran her fingers on Nikki's face. The smooth contours of her features were strong. Nikki's eyes were bright puddles of brown liquid, with soft lines that ceased on the sides of her eyes when she squinted. "Such a big heart for someone as young as you." Nikki enjoyed Monica's warmth. It reminded her of her late grandmother, when she would cradle Nikki in her arms and gently combed her hair with her fingers._

_"Can I ask you a question?" Nikki smiled warmly, "I sense things that trouble you deep inside your soul. What is your profession?" Monica asked. _

_Nikki was taken back. How did Monica come to that conclusion? It felt eerie. Somehow Monica reminded Nikki of a guardian angel. It was a strange thought, yet comforting. "I'm a Clinical Psychologist. Actually, I've only been here several months. I transferred from Liverpool." _

_"I can see where the caring qualities come from. I mean wanting to help people. Do you like what you do?" Monica said looking deep into Nikki's eyes. _

_Nikki thought for a moment. "Yes, I always wanted to help people. In fact, I was going to be a Forensic Psychologist and work in the Criminal Investigation Department. But I decided against it. I was more interested in mental disorders like schizophrenia and depression. I'm really intrigued with the brain." Nikki said, her voice a little strained. She thought about Trisha and how unfair life was._

_"Something happened to you to make you choose that career path." Monica said, looking at Nikki. "I sense you have far more knowledge that most common folk."_

_"What makes you say that?" Nikki said, a little defensive. She didn't want to feel like she was an open book._

_Monica took a deep breath. "When I look into your soul, I can see someone in turmoil. A past that keeps haunting your inner soul and you carry a pain that's wearing you thin. You don't like to reveal how much you know as I sense you have earned many titles. You hide your intelligence." _

_Nikki was gob-smacked. Was she a book, so easily read? "You're making me feel uneasy," Said Nikki, a little shaken._

_"You don't have to fear me, Nikki. You're going to meet someone very interesting who will bring forth your past and open all the doors you have closed, including your heart." Monica smiled, then whispered softly. "This person is a woman, and she will have a profound change in your life. Mark my words." _

_Nikki was stunned. She was lost for words. Her mouth was open, yet nothing came out. Monica kept smiling and holding Nikki's hands. "How, how are you so certain of this?" _

_"It's a gift I had since I was a young girl. I could foretell the future. Bit of a psychic I am. Drove me to madness of course and tragically had a nervous breakdown." Then Monica face turned into a serious tone. "Nikki, I must tell you that I see darkness in your life, a kind of darkness that troubles me. Something, or someone will bring evil. I'm not quite sure of it, but I get a terrible sense of tragedy." _

_"In all honesty, Monica, I'm not quite sure what to believe. It's all coming in too quickly." Nikki said, scratching her head._

_"It's okay Nikki. Most people can't handle the revelation at first. What you do with this information is entirely up to you. But remember, death isn't always so final. Sometimes death brings life." _

_Nikki's heart pounded quickly. The words seared, in her heart. She wanted to scream but she couldn't. Then the past she had tried so hard to forget was coming in heavy as radio waves, overloading. And the image of Trisha haunted her. A tear strained her eye, and she wanted to submerge into Monica's arms, like she did with her late grandmother. Was Monica just an old fool, babbling on about nothing? Was Monica her saviour, sowing the seeds to her future? Who was this woman that Monica, spoke of? Nikki's head was spinning and she felt as if her body was floating on air._

_"Nikki, Nikki, come back to me." Monica said, worried that what she said was too much for one person to bear. She knew the heaviness in Nikki's heart and it made her feel sad. The brief encounter with the young woman was inspiring. It gave her a little hope. _

_"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just drifted for a moment." Nikki said, breathing more calmly._

_"I'm starving, I think we should order." Monica said trying to lighten the mood._

_"Yeah, where's that damn waitress." Nikki looked around, trying to absorb everything she heard. What Monica meant by it all she didn't know? But it troubled her. No matter how fast or how hard she tried to forget, the memories always crept up and left her a mess. _

_(For those who don't know already, most of the characters in my story are based on 'Bad Girls', a television series from UK. When I first stumbled upon this series I was hooked on the Nikki and Helen storyline. Needless to say, this is my story based on different events, as I enjoy watching crime/drama shows.)_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_"Hello, DCI Helen Stewart and this is DI Dominic McAllister. "We're here to see Mary Richards." _

_"Please make it very brief," the nurse instructed them as they entered the private room. "Such a tragedy, really," she commented. "With the poor woman at death's door and her husband at her side almost constantly, you'd think God would put her out of her misery."_

_"I'm sure she's not ready to go just yet," Helen replied. More than that she was not allowed to say._

_The nurse inched closer to Helen and whispered. "He's a creepy sort, though, don't you think?" The nurse said, referring to Mary's husband Tim who was getting a drink from the Machine dispenser._

_Dominic coughed politely. "Under the circumstances, I don't think it's wise for you to pass an opinion on the gentleman." He didn't care much for gossip. The sound of footsteps in the corridor made them turn._

_"Well, the cat doesn't stray far from its prey," said Hejen under her breath. "Talk of evil," Helen said as she gave the nurse a wink, to imply nothing she had said would be repeated._

_The nurse left the room and went to meet Tim Richards who was talking with some nurse. "Excuse me, sir, but the Detectives are in with your wife."_

_"The Detectives?" Tim stiffened. He felt anger boil over him. "You had no right letting them in to see her."_

_"I had no choice, sir. It's only for a moment and I was never far away."_

_"Out of my way woman." Tim rudely shoved her aside, then, he burst into the room, demanding that they leave immediately. "What kind of people are you?" He said angrily. "My wife is gravely ill and you come in here with no regard to my feelings. You can't just barge in here. I'll have you heads for this."_

_Helen Stewart tried to calm him down. "I'm sorry, sir, but we're not here to disturb your wife in any way, only to sit quietly and hope she may be able to tell us something."_

_"How the hell can she do that? This is nonsense." Tim said angrily. After several nights without sleep, his nerves were frayed, but he had to be careful. One slip and he might give himself away. "You've no idea how distressing this is for me," he said more calmly. _

_"We do understand how you feel, sir. But you have to understand our situation too. We're in the middle of a murder inquiry. The good Doctor informs us that your wife is not beyond regaining consciousness, if only for a moment or two. Anything, the smallest detail, might throw light on what happened." Helen said, knowing the anger and frustration that she was causing him. She didn't care. The git was guilty and she bloody well knew it._

_"I already told you what happened. I was under the assumption that this case was closed." Tim bowed his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Where's your compassion? Haven't we suffered enough already," he groaned. "I want you out of here. I'll file a lawsuit against you and your department if you don't leave us alone. I like to be alone with my wife in you don't mind."_

_Helen looked at Dominic and motioned with her eyes. She wondered why Tim was so adamant about them not being in the room. What was he afraid of? Better still, what was he hiding? "Of course, sir." Helen nudged Dominic's arm. "We'll be waiting outside."_

_Tim followed them to the door then turned to the nurse who looked disgusted with his behaviour. "I want to see the Doctor, now!" he told her roughly. "According to these Detectives he told them my wife might regain consciousness. Why wasn't I informed of that? I am deliberately being left in the dark. Now go and do your job and find that damn Doctor."_

_"I'll see what I can do," arrogant twit, she though. How dare he demand and order her about. Once outside the room, the nurse turned to Helen and Dominic and explained to them where she was going. "I won't be long. I'm sure he wouldn't mind though, if you peeped in now and then." It was just an instinct but it made the nurse feel more comfortable to know he was being watched. Like Helen, the nurse thought that her husband was a shady character._

* * *

_Nikki's watched Karen Betts walk across the crowded restaurant towards her table. Karen, Director of Psychiatry and Nikki's Superior was on time, but then Nikki knew she would be. Like herself, Karen was a professional with a full schedule, so she knew the importance of being prompt._

_Karen was attractive. She was tall, blond and a woman who was comfortable in her own skin, the same way it had the first time Nikki met her during University, a trait lacking to most that made Nikki, automatically befriend her. It was Karen who finally convinced Nikki to move to London and work with her at the Wellington Hospital. After Karen graduated, Nikki still a years left, and once Nikki graduated she was persuaded to join the Liverpool Women's Hospital. She wanted to be closer to Barbara, who was ill at that time, and although, Karen had initially asked Nikki to join her in London, Nikki declined, wishing to remain closer to home. When Barbara recovered and moved to Plymouth, to care for her ailing sister, Nikki felt that she wasn't needed any longer and when the offer came her way again, Nikki decided she needed change. Dr. Nikki Wade felt her eyes squint behind her sunglasses, as she tried to imagine how her godmother, Barbara, would describe the good Doctor and knowing Barbara, she would say something embarrassing. In spite of being fifty-six, Barbara loved to talk about sex. And when it came right down to it, Nikki did too. _

_Suddenly, Karen was standing in front of Nikki. "Nikki, it's good to see you again. It must be…" _

_"It's been a while," Nikki said, motioning for her to sit down opposite her. _

_"What a couple of days," Karen laughed. "Any cute Doctors catch you eye Nikki?" Nikki felt herself blushing. _

_"So, how did your week go, Karen?" Nikki asked. She always felt self-conscience around her. Karen didn't care about Nikki's sexuality and she was always trying to fix her up with some Doctor or nurse. Karen was seeing Detective Inspector named Jim Fenner, that Nikki met several times, but it was enough to form a nasty opinion of him. She never understood what Karen saw in the sodding git, but whatever it was, was something beyond her comprehension._

_"It was a week from hell with boundless of paperwork from incompetent fools who seem to have no clue how to write a proper report. Why does the world have to be afloat with inept fools babbling about nothing?" Karen said, roughly. She didn't have patience for those who were simple minded. She knew she could be a little judgemental but she knew she at times needed to be tough with her staff._

_"Maybe you need to be a little more patient," Nikki laughed as she snorted and winked at Karen._

_"Sodding hell. I can't begin to tell you how much I've spent cursing all week long. I think I might have sprouted a new grey hair on my precious head." Karen shook her head as if she couldn't prolong time. _

_Nikki giggled. Karen was a real case. She always worried about her looks. "Maybe that's the problem." _

_"What," Karen questioned._

_"You worry far too much about your appearance." Nikki said, shaking her head in disbelief. _

_Karen rolled her eyes at Nikki. "Well, I need to keep a certain image. Men are so fickle. One day they're telling you how beautiful you look, the next minute, they're complaining that a little too much body fat is hindering sex life." _

_"Why do you listen to a bastard like Jim Fenner? God, woman, you're beautiful and that fool knows it. He's just afraid that some other bloke will whisk you away, so he has to put you down. Don't understand why you keep that idiot around. He's a spineless whiner." Nikki said in disgust. She had her nerves on the edge just thinking about him. What the hell did Karen see in that man, she just couldn't understand._

_"Nikki, he isn't always like that," Karen said defending Jim. She knew that Jim at times could be controlling and demanding, but she always seemed to be attracted to dangerous, high-rolling blokes._

_"If you believe that. It's your decision who you keep in your bed, but frankly, he makes my skin crawl." Nikki said in disgust. Nothing would convince her that Jim Fenner was an honest, caring bloke._

_"You only met him a couple of times. How can you be so bloody determined?" Karen couldn't understand why Nikki didn't approve Jim. If she only gave him a chance then maybe she could get along with him. But none of her friends approved of him and she couldn't understand why they felt that way._

_"You only need to meet him once to form an opinion about that man, but hell, I didn't come here to talk about bloody Jim Fenner." Nikki said, wanting to forget that slimly bastard. The world didn't need reminders of a fool like him. She only hoped that one day Karen would come to her good senses and dump that cheating good-for-nothing lout._

_"Yes, of course," Karen said. "By the way, congratulations on your new book, 'Fragile Dreams'. I heard you had excellent reviews. I wish I had as much talent as you do." _

_"Oh that thing," Nikki said downplaying her accomplishments. She hated being fussed over. She preferred to stay modest, even though her wealth could afford her to be condescending. But she didn't want others to judge her by her looks, or her bank account. She just wanted to be accepted._

_"Why are you always so meagre about your accomplishments?" Karen questioned, shaking her head in disapproval. Nikki was brilliant, beautiful and had so much kindness to offer that she didn't understand why Nikki held her walls so high up. "You're bloody brilliant and could easily be my superior but you choose to be so meek and mild. With your brains I'd be sticking these needles up those sodding bastards arse who control the board." _

_"I just don't like to get over my head. I don't like peoples' fake overturns, pretending they know shite, when they don't. But thanks for your support," Nikki said modestly, reaching out and giving Karen a light squeeze. "I'm quite happy with what I do. I know you're going to say I should have been a brain surgeon."_

_"What do I know," Karen said. "But I am glad to have you here my young pup." Nikki just gave her a knowing look as she shook her head. _

* * *

_**(Back at the hospital)**_

_Tim Richards closed the door and turned to the bed where his dying wife lay. For a long moment he starred at her face, a deathly pallor, and he feared the awful secret that hid behind them. "Why won't you die Mary? It's really for the best," he muttered coldly. "You shouldn't have alienated me. Didn't I give you everything? You bitch!" He eyes grew wide with hatred. "You were meant to die with him, your lover," Tim whispered harshly into her ears. "You promised me you were done with him when we got married. You stupid, stupid bitch." _

_A look of hatred coloured his features, cold and hard. "You and him," he hissed. "You little sodding whore. I ought to finish you right here and now." Instead he bent and kissed her slightly brushing his lips against hers. He was half crazed. His eyes were glossed over. "I bet you wish it was him instead of me kissing you right now. It's quite a shame that he's dead, and so are you, honey. It's only a matter of time." Exhilarated by the power he had over his dying wife, he kissed her roughly. "Do you hate the touch of my mouth on yours, my darling? Longing for that dead fool." Tim ran his fingers over Mary's hair. He felt no remorse. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said sarcastically, "but you see it doesn't matter to me how you feel. If I want to kiss you then I shall. Better still, if I got on top of you and thrust myself into you, who's to stop me? Is that what you want? Me hard inside you, Mary." Soft laughter issued from his throat. "I can do whatever takes my fancy and there's isn't a single thing you can do about it dear."_

_Tim became maudlin. "You should never have done it, you know, cheated on me. You insulted me, and I can't allow that, can I?" He took a deep breath and the words came out in a quiet rush. "I wanted you dead then, and I want you dead now. Only I have to be careful. There's always somebody watching." Tim put his wife limp hand in his. "Day and night I've been here. Day and night, guarding you, afraid you might open your eyes and tell them what happened." He closed his eyes. "Oh, I'm so very tired, so very tired. Everything's being neglected." Suddenly he drew back with fright. The fear in his eyes dilated his pupils. Mary's hand had been loosely resting on his, but now her fingers gripped his with such startling strength that it put the fear of God in him._

* * *

_Karen grinned. It was just like Nikki to pass judgment on others, but then again, Nikki was probably right. People could be so phoney on the surface. "So tell me, anything new?" _

_Nikki thought about telling Karen the encounter with Monica Potter, the old lady she met but wondered if she would show scepticism. "Actually, I met this kind old women, who roams the street with her worldly possessions. I took her out for breakfast and we had a grand ol' time." _

_"Oh Nikki, you're always trying to help the less fortunate." Karen smiled, as she took a zip from her glass._

_Nikki gave her a knowing look. "There's something enigmatic about her. It got a bit intense." _

_"What do you mean, intense?" Karen probed looking at Nikki for an explanation. _

_"She mentioned things to me that were spot on and I felt so exposed around her. Like she could see deep into my soul." Nikki explained trying not to sound like she was in over her head._

_Karen leaned across the table. "Clairvoyant? Are you putting me on? I've always been interested in the paranormal." _

_Nikki squirmed in her chair. "Well, it's not about the paranormal, at least not in that sense. She mentioned the future." Nikki said, convinced that what Monica had told her, would come true._

_"I'd like to get a reading from this old woman. That is unless your significant other would object." Karen quipped, grinning a toothy grin._

_"I'm serious Karen, and I would appreciate no sarcasm from you. Don't be a slag." Nikki said, a little irritated by her. _

_"Sorry, Nikki. I was out of order. You have to admit, it all sounds sort of strange." _

_"Believe me, that's what I thought at first, but then she mentioned things that threw me for a loop." _

_"What did she say?" Karen said, intrigued as she took another zip from her drink._

_Nikki thought about it. She would only tell her part. She wasn't ready to talk about the deeper issues. "Well, for starters, she said I would meet someone who would open all my closed doors, and that person was a woman." _

_"Wow, she sure hit the mark on that one. So, there is a special someone is the horizon." Karen smacked her teeth. She wanted Nikki to be happy and she wanted her to start dating. Nikki was too picky and standoffish. She wished that Nikki could meet someone who could hold a candle against her. No one has managed to break through Nikki's hard shell._

_"Don't get too excited. She didn't mention if it was a love interest. It could be a friend, a colleague, I don't know." Nikki said looking at Karen knowing what she was thinking._

_"Hey, maybe that someone is me," laughed Karen. "Maybe I'll go butch." _

_"Sod, you Karen. I don't need a slag like you. You ain't my type anyway. Too prim and proper." Nikki laughed at Karen's expense. _

_"Don't be daft, Nikki. You know you love me." Karen slapped Nikki's arm. "I didn't mean to sound insensitive. Although, everything you said does sound intriguing." _

_Nikki smiled, "Yeah, and a lot to swallow." _

_"Do you think that maybe this person could be working in the Hospital?" Karen asked as if something interesting was going to happen. She hoped so. Nikki seemed lonely at times._

_"Why would you think that?" Nikki looked up to see the hovering waiter. "We better order our food." _

_"I'll have the confit foie gras, smoked eel." Karen said. "And Dom Perignon, Rose." _

_"I'll have saffron risotto, and a bottle of Perrier water," Nikki said flatly then Karen waited until the waiter left before continuing their conversation. _

_"How about I come by tomorrow? My schedule is thin that day." Karen said. She needed a day in. "We could watch 'Gone with the Wind'."_

_"Tomorrow?" Nikki really hadn't thought about it. "Well tomorrow I'm fully booked, so I don't reckon I'll get home before seven - eight. If that's not too late, then it's okay with me. I love watching old black and white movies. Something romantic about them." _

_"Great, I'll pick up Japanese and a bottle of wine." Karen smiled happily. "Unless, of course your fridge is fully stock with the finest wine." _

_"Of course I have. Remember my wine collection?" Nikki quipped, shaking her head over at Karen. She knew Karen liked to drink. "Of course, I had to restock considering you drank half my collection."_

_"You know you love me." Karen winked at Nikki giving her a wide smile. "Oh, by the way before I forget, I need a favour from you, well a proposal actually." Karen said grinning._

_Nikki smirked as she knew Karen was up to something. "What is it this time?" _

_"Detective Chief Inspector Helen Stewart and her department are looking for Clinical Psychologist to help them with some of their cold case files." Karen explained. "Besides, Helen's a good mate of mine."_

_"What does this have to do with me Karen?" Nikki said not amused. "I've never worked on homicide cases." _

_Karen looked at Nikki as she shook her head. "Before you say 'no' will you just listen to me? I thought it would be brilliant having a Clinical Psychologist help with some of the difficult cases. It would only be short-term." Karen said trying to sound upbeat. "Nikki, you're an ingenious Clinical Psychologist, she would be a fool not to be interested. She was keen on meeting up with you when I mentioned how brilliant you were." Karen nudge Nikki on the arm, "I really do think that you can be an asset to them and I know you're not one to shy from a challenge. Really Nikki, what could be the harm in meeting up with her?" _

_"Such modest words, Karen," Nikki grinned. "What makes you think that I might be able to help her? I have my own clients, remember?" Nikki said. "I will admit the proposal does sound interesting." _

_'You're light at the moment since you haven't been here long, so why not give it a go.' Karen quipped. "Think about it and we can discuss it further tomorrow over food and wine." _

* * *

_**(Back at the hospital)**_

_Just then the door opened and in came the Doctor, followed by the nurse. One look at Tim's horrified face and the Doctor said, "What is it Mr. Richards?" Bending down to examine Mary Richards, the Doctor was astonished to see her eyes flicker open. "Mrs. Richards, can you hear me?" he asked urgently. "Don't worry. You're safe in here."_

_"Tell her to let go, Doctor?" Panic-stricken, Tim was struggling to release himself from her iron grip. "Tell her, dammit," he cried out. He was trying to extricate her fingers off but she had the grip of death on him and wouldn't let go._

_"Nurse," the Doctor beckoned, then, gave her an instruction. An injection was administered. Still, Mary would not let go of her husband's hand. "She's in spasm," the Doctor explained. "A moment longer, that's all."_

_When Tim looked up at the Doctor, he realised his wife was trying to say something to him. Bending his head to hers, the he listened intently. On the other side of the bed, Tim could not move, held there by his wife's unrelenting grip. Fear gripped him and he knew that his world was about to unravel right before him. "What's she saying, Doctor?" Tim demanded nervously._

_Outside, Helen and Dominic patiently waited. They were talking about their other case when the nurse opened the door to usher them in. "She's awake," she informed them cheerfully. "Please, you must be very quiet."_

_Helen felt a sense of vindictiveness. She imagined a ghost look would be on Tim's face and she wasn't disappointed. Inside the room, the atmosphere was electrifying, with Tim, frozen with fear, and Mary, barely audible relating the tragic events to the Doctor in painful, broken whispers. In was all over in a matter of minutes. The last words that Mary Richards had were for her husband. "God forgive you," she said, and long after her eyes closed for the last time, she held onto him. It took both Doctor and nurse to release him from her clutch. Then DCI Helen Stewart read Tim Richards his rights. Quickly and quietly, he was escorted from the room, quivering like a child._

_"I guess you were right all along," Dominic said, grinning over at Helen as he put his notes away._

_"Yeah, but it doesn't make the fact that two people died needlessly." She sighed. She had wished that Mary could live to see her husband rot in jail, she was in a far better place. "Things don't get any easier, Dominic."_

_Dominic agreed. "That's why your tops, Helen."_

_"Cute, Dominic, but if you haven't forgotten, crime is relenting." Just then her mobile went off. "Helen Stewart." She listened to the voice on the other line. Her smile disappeared quickly. It was Chief Detective Superintendent Neil Grayling._

_"What is it Helen?" Dominic said wondering why she looked like she saw a ghost._

_"Looks like they found another body down by the river." This murder investigation was becoming complicated. Four bodies recovered so far, all with similarities but nothing concrete. Was this the work of a serial killer? If so, how many more bodies will wash ashore?_

* * *

_'Helen Stewart' Nikki thought. Nikki had worked with other Psychiatrist. She was on top of the bright young stars to emerge in her field but she had never worked on a homicide case. She hadn't heard much about Helen from Karen except that she was Scottish, and engaged to some bloke named Sean Parr who just happened to be a lawyer for one of her clients. One of Nikki's patients that she consider 'special' who was a psychopath and murderer. She had an uncanny rapport with this particular patient who was referred to her by Karen when she first arrived in London. It was an arduous relationship to explain at best._

_"Don't worry, Nikki. I will transfer some of your clients to others for the time being. You'll like Helen Stewart. She's a real professional who's passionate about her job. And she's Scottish. Quite beautiful, but before you get any ideas, she's straight." Karen smiled, grinning over a Nikki._

_"What makes you think I want to ride that horse? Is that all you think about?" Nikki shook her head in disbelief. "Remember, I don't get involved with straight women. Bloody trip they are. They want to try a new pair of shoes but don't want to buy it. I'm not someone's science experiment."_

_"Just looking for your best interest." Karen said. She knew Helen Stewart was Nikki's type. "You have been known to fall for straight women."_

_"Sorry if my gaydar is broken. I'll remember that when I'm lying in my coffin, poisoned by one of your bright ideas." Nikki winked, smiling over at her._

_"Oi, that cuts deep," Karen pouted like a child, crossing her arms._

_"I'm sure you'll survive the superficial wound," Nikki giggled. She always had fun when Karen was around._


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

_"Shout your gob and be still." _

_"Please don't hurt her." A voice whispered. "She's just a child you sick bastard." _

_"I don't need an interfering dyke like you." The angry voice said echoing like a ripple that moved slowly across her body cutting her open. "Your kind is revolting, you disgust me and I ought to teach you the proper tune." _

_"You coward. Hiding behind your façade. I will not go quietly in the dark." The voice said bravely, then realising the burst of defiance could cost her dearly. She wasn't wrong. Without warning, an angry fist came crashing hard, knocking her limp body to the cold pavement. The pain was excruciating and death was all around, waiting, watching like lurking eyes._

_"Do as you're told, carpet muncher." Incensed eyes stood over her, like sharpened blades ready to cut into her flesh. "You whore. You lot are all the same. But I hold the power and you're already dead, you just don't realise it yet. Remember darling, 'Silence is golden'." _

_Nikki woke up, sweating, her hands were shaking and her mouth was dry. She had another nightmare. When she first heard about Trisha's suicide, she had a lot of nightmares afterwards about what happened. She blamed herself for not doing enough. Why did she leave Trisha and not demand her to seek counselling? Maybe if she tried harder, she would still be alive, but instead her life was cut short and the painful memories haunted her sleep. Through the years the nightmares became less and less, and she stopped having nightmares, a year ago. But ever since meeting Monica, the vagabond, the nightmares started up again. It was always the same type of nightmares haunting her again. Trisha was never far from her mind and in truth, her heart. She always had difficulty with relationship. Whenever she got too close to someone she really cared for, she ran. Running from her past was something she was accustomed to. _

* * *

_**(Flashback eleven years ago)**_

_"I want to file a report?" Nikki said waiting._

_"What about?" The officer said without looking up from his paperwork._

_"A rape that had occurred." _

_The officer looked up to find a young woman staring at him intently. "Would you prefer to speak to a female officer, ma'am," he said, his voice different, warmer._

_Nikki looked at him confused. Then she realised that the officer probably thought she was the one raped. "It doesn't matter really. Listen, I know this might sound a bit strange but I'm not the rape victim it was a friend of mine."_

_The officer looked at Nikki with startled. "I don't understand. You're filing a rape report, but you weren't raped."_

_"Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you officer," she looked at his badge. "Officer, Haim. _

_"Listen, is this a joke because you can get arrested for perjury." He insisted._

_"This is not a joke and I don't like the tone of voice you're using on me. I have evidence." Nikki said a bit put off by the officer's remark._

_"Then why doesn't you friend come in and file a report herself?"_

_Nikki had to swallow hard. The images of Trisha, was overwhelming her senses. She made a promise to herself and Trisha's memory that she would find out who raped her. "She can't. She's dead."_

_Officer Haim looked over at Nikki. He noticed the watery tension in her eyes. He knew instinctively that she wasn't lying by her raw emotions. "Look, why don't I get you a Detective who can help you. Okay?" He said gentle moving Nikki towards an empty room. "I'll have an officer bring you water, coke?"_

_"You've been kind enough. Water would be fine." Nikki said, sniffling. After what seemed like a century, a couple of tall officers entered the room._

_"Hello, I'm Detective Alain Morissette and my partner Charlize Dion." Nikki nodded her head. She hoped that she had enough evidence to find the bastards that raped Trisha. Maybe Trisha could finally rest in her grave._

_"You're name is Nikki Wade," the woman officer said._

_"Yes," Nikki said, trying to smile. She ran her fingers through her hair feeling nervous._

_"Okay, start from the beginning Nikki. Please take all the time you need. I want you to feel comfortable talking openly. If you need to speak to a counsellor we can arrange to have one here."_

_"Thank you," Nikki said. As Nikki went through the motion of her story, she felt a sense of relief that someone else other than herself knew. It had been hard keeping everything inside. At first she thought about telling Trisha's parents, but then decided to report the incident first. She suspected it would be hard on them. But Nikki felt that deep inside she was doing the right thing. It had been two long months. Nikki showed them the pictures, Trisha's clothes that she had saved. _

_"From the evidence you have presented Nikki, your friend had been raped." Detective Dion said. "Is there anything else, anything you have forgotten that might help us with this case?"_

_"That's everything that I know." Nikki said, exhausted. She felt like she gave all her strength and only hoped it was enough. She dreaded not knowing if the bastards were ever going to pay for their crime._

_"Listen, Nikki, I'm going to be completely honest with you. This is going to be difficult because you can't identify them and the victim isn't here to give her version of the story." Nikki sighed. This isn't what she wanted to hear. Of course she knew it would be difficult but a small part of her thought a miracle could happen. "Would the parents agree to exhume her body for evidence?"_

_"I don't know. They don't know about any of this. I haven't told them." Nikki felt sick to her stomach._

_The Detectives looked at each other. "Nikki, we need to speak to them. It's very important that we examine her body for any evidence. Before it's too late."_

_"Right of course." Nikki said, knowing that Trisha's parents were not going to give consent. This was shite. Once again she felt like she was up against a brick wall. _

* * *

_**(Present Time) **_

_Sean rolled over towards Helen as she slept, then proceeded to kiss her. He enjoyed having sex in the morning before he started his working day. Helen was barely awake when she felt something cold on her lips. When she opened her eyes, Sean's face was mere inches apart, smiling hungrily._

_"What the bloody hell, Sean. I don't feel like it." Helen said as she tried to get him off of her._

_"What's the matter, darling?" _

_"What's the matter," Helen said, feeling particularly edgy this morning. "You know I hate when you roll over and think that you're going to have your way with me. Christ sakes Sean." _

_"I can't help it babe, something about the morning air that makes me want to ravage your body." Sean said, putting his hand on Helen's breast._

_"Don't even try," she said annoyed, barely containing her distaste for him. She hated when Sean showed his possessive side. "Do you ever consider my feelings? That's why I hate when you sleep over. This happens every bloody time." _

_"What's to consider? We're engaged, and your womanly duties are to please me. I thought you liked having me over. I don't know why you need to have your own apartment." Sean demanded. He didn't understand why she had to be so difficult. He thought she was too independent, and tried at all attempts to squash her rebellious nature._

_Helen struggled to get free from Sean's stronghold. "Sod you then. I think maybe you should give me back my spare key if this is how you're going to behave every time." Sean smiled as he continued to hold Helen down. "Let go, you're hurting me, Sean. I'm not playing games. Get the fuck off me." _

_A terrible look of suspicion came glossed his eyes. "You're not cheating on me, are you dear?" Sean hissed. "Because if you are, I swear I'll kill the sodding bastard." _

_Here we go again, Helen thought. "You can trust me, Sean. You know I would never cheat on you." Helen said trying to appease him. The defiance had gone and in its place was a degree of resignation. Sean Parr was the typically rich, handsome type. In his own selfish way he loved Helen, but he possessed a terrible jealousy and a hard, spiteful nature. When provoke to anger, his frightening nature was something to be fearful of._

_Helen's soft voice made Sean feel ashamed. His manner changed, then he grabbed her in his arms and held her close. "I don't mean to be insensitive," he apologised, kissing her neck. "But not being able feel you every morning, sometimes drives me crazy. Don't I give you everything babe? You know I never deny you anything." She tried not to cringe from his touch. Squeezing her face between his rough hands, Sean whispered into her ear, "Sometimes I wish I didn't love you so much." Then Sean kissed her abruptly before getting up and heading into the shower._

_In that moment, she detested him. "No, you never deny me anything," she whispered. Sean never denied her anything, as long as it met with his approval, she thought bitterly. But he continued to deny her the things she craved, like the smallest measure of independence, or the company of friends. Still, was she overreacting? She was beginning to wonder if she made a grave mistake by getting engaged to Sean. He was so jealous and possessive at times that he often clashed with her work colleagues. Sean came from a wealthy family, so he was used to getting things his own way, yet at first it didn't bother her. But then she slowly started to feel like she was living in a box. She couldn't breathe at times. She wondered if she really even loved him. Sure, it was fun during the beginning. Helen was going through a rough patch in her life, and when Sean came along, he was a distraction from everything. It wasn't as if he was a bad person or that he didn't truly love her. He had a soft caring side to him that she knew about, but his jealousy often overshadowed his kindness. In reality, Helen was running away. Running away from something that was eating inside her soul. Something that she harboured, something terrible, something no one knew about, except for her therapist. Then again, she was good at hiding and controlling her life. She had too. If people knew her deepest secrets would they gasp? There were times when she would sit in the darkest hour of the night and stare into space. She felt lost and wondered if she could ever find her way out through the maze she felt her life was in._

* * *

_Nikki rolled into work, looking worst for wear. Still reeling about the nightmare she had in the morning, she managed to spill coffee over her new shirt. This wouldn't be a typical day she thought. Then she remembered she had an appointment with DCI Helen Stewart. Nikki sighed heavily. She had her own caseload and she didn't have any information about the case and wondered if it was a good idea to meet up with Helen Stewart. In truth, it reminded her of Trisha. Her dreams still haunted her and no one was ever charged back then. Like everything, what happened to Trisha became a distant memory to all and eventually her crime became forgotten, just another cold case. It bothered Nikki to her core but what could she do? All she had left was her memories and hope that someday justice would prevail._

_"Hey Nikki, nice stain on your shirt." Yvonne said, grinning. Yvonne Atkins was a Chief Nurse. She was one of the first people to welcome Nikki at the Hospital._

_"You offering to dry clean it for me, Yvonne?" Nikki laughed trying to hold on to her drink and briefcase._

_"Yeah, I'll send Michelle Dockley up. Put her on five, and all you have to do is bend over for a wicker." _

_"That woman would bite into any wiener that offered her a promotion. Don't know how she ever became a nurse. The only skill she has to offer is her missionary position." Nikki quipped. Yvonne giggled, then looked over at Nikki, who was trying hard not to laugh out-loud._

_"Yo, you wouldn't be a bunch of mean old crows would you?" Karen Betts said, walking over, apparently hearing the conversation._

_"Who us?" Yvonne said innocently. "Come on, you know that tart is a walking Barbie Doll. I bet she's shagging some bloke right now, down the reformatory." _

_"Well try to keep your comments to yourself," Karen said, shaking her head. "People gossip like mad cows in here. Just keep it straight." _

_"Straight," Caroline entered the conversation, expressing amusement. Karen gave her a knowing look. "What? I'm just repeating what you said." _

_Caroline Lewis was also gay, like Nikki, but she was dating one of the female paramedics. Not that Nikki minded because she was not interested. But then Caroline was such a flirt and used her sexuality to her advantage. In truth, Caroline liked Nikki and wouldn't kick her out of bed if she had a chance. But Nikki wasn't interested in a steady relationship. Just a shag here and now. Nikki bemused herself in the sidelines. She enjoyed Yvonne's sense of humour. Although she didn't know Michelle Dockley well, she did seem like the dumb blond type, even if she wasn't a natural blood. She also heard that Shell was shagging DCI Jim Fenner. It was only a rumour, but Yvonne was convinced that they were up to something sordid. She did not dare tell Karen about her suspicions. But then, she was convinced that Karen must've heard the rumours too. She seemed irritated by Jim lately. Maybe she was coming to her senses and decided to dump that cheating lout. _

* * *

_Helen's intercom buzzed. "Yes." _

_"Miss Stewart, someone by the name of Dr. Nikki Wade is here to see you." _

_"Oh yes, please send her in."_

_Nikki knocked on Helen's door, before opening it. Then she heard a soft Scottish voice, "Come in, please." When Nikki entered, she saw a woman, about 5'4 rummaging through her file cabinet. Nikki noticed her figure right away. She was shaped nicely and her legs looked firmed. Her soft coloured hair looked like silk and Nikki found herself staring, even though she hadn't seen her face yet. She usually didn't check out other colleagues, but something about this woman was stimulating. Nikki was caught daydreaming when she heard a voice speaking. _

_"Please have a seat." Helen watched Nikki stand there, not moving. Then suddenly as if Nikki was awakened violently, she noticed a pair a warm hazel/green eyes staring back at her. Nikki blushed when she realised Helen had caught her daydreaming. "Please, sit down, Nikki," She said motioning to the chair._

_Nikki sat down, smiling. "Thank you." _

_Helen watched Nikki and thought how stunning Nikki Wade was. She had strong facial features, her eyes dark brown, almost a secretive look to her. Her skin was tanned and she wore her wavy hair, a little messy. Nikki had muscular arms and she had to be at least 5'9 and she assumed Nikki was in her mid twenties. She was impressed. She had heard nothing but positive things about Nikki Wade from __Karen, except that she could be a little difficult to work with, but she liked independent individuals with cogent ideas. For some strange reason, she thought that they had met before. Nikki seemed captivating. Something about the woman's eyes that rendered a story. Helen then mentally slapped herself. She just met Nikki and she was intrigued? "So you're Nikki Wade," Helen said, then blushing, realising she was acting like a school girl. But Nikki's presence was making her feel uncomfortable and awkward._

_"Last time I checked, I was still residing in the Wade body," Nikki grinned. She knew Helen was slightly embarrassed._

_Helen felt juvenile and stupid. "Sorry, my brain lost all notion of reality." _

_"That's okay," Nikki leaned over the table. "I too can get a little intimidated by others." _

_Helen smiled. Nikki was charming she thought to herself. "I guess you know why you're here." _

_Nikki shifted in her chair, trying to get comfortable. "I know that you're department is looking for a Clinical Psychologist to help you with a murder case, but other than that, I don't know any details." _

_"What! Didn't Karen give you the case file?" Helen said annoyed by the revelation._

_"Nope," Nikki smiled. Just like Karen to forget. "She does that sometimes, forgets the little things." _

_"Yes, I suppose you observation skills are up to par." Helen was surprised. "You know Karen Betts well?" _

_Nikki looked around Helen's office. It was warm with personal items. But then she looked over at her desk and she didn't notice any pictures. She was engaged, but not a slightest thing about her fiancé presence that was obvious to the eye, except for the ring. "Yes, we go back. I first met her during my first year at University." _

_"Interesting. Karen's a real character." Helen said smiling. She found herself staring at Nikki a little longer than she liked. It bothered her a little._

_"You can say that. But she's a professional. Of course until she's in a drunken stupor, then the real Karen Betts comes out of hiding." Nikki snorted, which surprised Helen, then she laughed too._

_"Drowning in alcohol can do that to someone's state of mind? I guess we have something in common: we both are good friends of Karen Betts." Helen said smiling. She was beginning to loosen up._

_"Now, tell me what this is all about. I have a busy schedule and as much as I love to discuss drunken behaviours, I really do need to get on with things?" Nikki said sarcastically and suddenly, wondering why she was acting like a twat and being impatient with Helen all of a sudden. But it was her hazel/green eyes that were starting to have a desire effect on her body. Helen Stewart was classically sensually in every sense of the word. It was hard to concentrate when across from her, sat a warm body that she found alluring. It startled her. She just met Helen and her body was reacting in a way that she hadn't felt in a long time. She was absolutely gorgeous she sighed. The only problem; Helen was straight and she didn't do straight._

_Nikki certainly didn't beat around the bush, Helen thought. One minute she was telling a joke, the next getting downright serious. What was her game she thought? Then she leaned back into her chair. "Okay, Nikki, I'm working on a difficult case at the moment, I believe might be connected to a cold case file. It's complicated at best. We have this suspect in question, well, he had been suspected of raping and killing three young college girls six years prior, but he was never official charged for lack of evidence, mishandling of procedures, pick your choice. It was before I joined this unit. Now, there's been a similar pattern of recent homicides that appear to fit the same profile, but I can't be certain if they are connected, or if it's just coincidence. I believe we might be dealing with a serial killer, but no one else agrees with me. The suspect in question was recently admitted into the mental ward. There's something troubling about him." Helen shook her head. "I have this unpleasant feeling he's hiding something terrible, something unfathomable. I learned early on in my career to pay attention to my instincts. I suppose we might be dealing with a clever, diabolic killer. Although, I hate to hastily make conclusion this early on in the race." _

_"Your suspect, has he been diagnosed yet?" Nikki asked, somewhat intrigued._

_"I looked over his files and he was initially diagnosed by a Psychiatric having manic depression six years prior." Helen said, running her fingers through her hair. _

_Nikki looked at the lines on Helen's forehead. She looked deep in thought. A chill ran down her spine. She felt a cold breath on her neck and the room felt as if a cold draft blew through. "Did you just feel that?" She asked bewildered._

_Helen looked over at Nikki with a confused look on her face. "Sorry, did you say something?"_

_Nikki face flushed immediately. Did she just imagine something? She couldn't explain it, except that she felt an eerie sense that something, or someone was in the room. Yet, when she looked around, there was only the two of them. "Sorry, I must be seeing ghosts or my senses are not working properly."_

_Helen continued looking at Nikki and wondered what she was thinking. She didn't understand why Nikki looked spooked but she wasn't going to press it. "I don't know about ghosts, but are you sure you're feeling okay?" She repeated._

_"Yeah," Nikki shrugged her shoulders and took a breath in. She didn't want Helen to think she was acting odd. "I'm a bit superstitious and don't think nothing of it, really. I was just thinking about your suspect." Nikki lied._

_"Okay, if you are sure." Helen said, in a whisper. "Listen, I don't know, Nikki. It's like he's saying things that contradict his story. I keep trying to find a beginning, but it's not going anywhere. It's like we're moving in circles," Helen said, putting her hands on her desk. "In my opinion, he didn't committed those killings, although something traumatic happened to him when he was younger, and surfaces through acts of violence. I'm not sure what to think, really. If he's not the killer, he's connected somehow." _

_Nikki stared at Helen, listening, but not registering the words. "Sorry whom are you referring to?"_

_"The suspect. I was talking about the suspect in question." Nikki watched Helen talk with conviction. She definitely seemed passionate about her work and it didn't help that she had a sexy Scottish accent._

_"Sorry," Nikki blushed. She was half paying attention. She needed to stop thinking about Helen. She kept telling herself she was straight and engaged. "Why are you determined that he is connected to the murders? Explain further."_

_"Listen, I must sound too focused on him, but it's just a feeling I get. I really can't explain it but no one else agrees with me on this one." Helen said looking over at Nikki with pleading eyes. She needed someone else to believe in her. _

_Nikki watched Helen lean back feeling exhausted. She really seemed convinced but she did not have enough information to form an honest opinion. "So you're out on a limb?"_

_"You could say that." Helen interjected, propping herself up and finding her breathe again._

_"So Helen," Nikki said, the word 'Helen' rolling off her tongue. "Tell me more about this suspect."_

_"He was admitted into the hospital, a weeks ago for self-mutilation and depression. A psych evaluation was done on him, and this time he was diagnosed with having Bipolar disorder. So I suppose he's not your average psychopath." _

_"Any mental illness or severe depression linked to family history in his file?" Nikki inquired. This case was sounding interesting if not dangerous._

_"Nothing. It's like he has no past history. At times he seems perfectly normal, at least on the surface. As far as I'm aware, he's never had counselling but I suspect he's been suffering silently." Helen said. _

_Nikki reached into her pocket and took out a pack of fags. "Do you mind?" she said looking at Helen._

_Helen shook her head. "Those things will kill you," she let out a crude laugh._

_Nikki grinned. "Yeah, trying to quit. Thinking about going on those patches I hear about." Then Nikki decided that today was as good as any day to quit. "Perhaps, you have given me the incentive to quit."_

_"How honourable of you, Dr. Wade. Didn't realise I had such a powerful effect on smokers. Perhaps I can recommend you a good lung Doctor." Helen quipped enjoying their conversation. Nikki was a sharp blade and she enjoyed her insight._

_"Don't get over your head honey. You may be beautiful, but you can be such a bitch," Nikki said jokingly. Nikki knew she was flirting a little but it took every nerve in her body to hold back from jumping on Helen's bones._

_Helen laughed. This Nikki Wade character had a good sense of humour. She smiled inwardly. And she thinks I'm beautiful, she thought to herself. "If you think I'm a bitch now, just wait to you see me in action." For some strange reason she felt quite comfortable with Nikki. She felt like she could be herself. She could reveal a little of herself without feeling judge._

_Nikki smiled, showing her teeth. She bent over, closer towards Helen. "I'm not sure what kind of action you're referring to, honey, but a Prima Donna as yourself would be in wonder with my prowess." Nikki said seductively. _

_Helen smacked her teeth together. She would do one better. "A Prima Donna you say? It's true, I like to be on top and demand my way, but you're probably a tame lion, if you know what I mean." _

_Nikki ran her fingers through her hair. She was amused by Helen's reaction and open flirtatious way. "For your information a black window would put you to shame…don't judge a book by its cover until you've had your fingers on the pages. You never know what you might find." Now Nikki was stepping out of bound. She knew it but it didn't stop her. She felt comfortable with Helen even though, just a few minutes ago, they were complete strangers. "Not many can escape my web." _

_"I bet you say that to all your conquest," then Helen recoiled quickly. She found herself flirting along with Nikki and it rattled her. Nikki sensed Helen's changed demeanour. She knew she probably felt embarrassed by her actions. After all, they just met. "Maybe we should stick to the subject." Helen said quickly, her face flushed. She enjoyed flirting with Nikki, but why. She didn't even know if Nikki was gay. But then she thought Nikki was trying to be friendly and nothing more. _

_"Of course, please continue, Helen." Nikki had to breathe inwardly. She so much enjoyed what had transpired just moments earlier. She could get used to being around this Scottish woman. _

_"The thing is, Nikki, I have a gut feeling he's connected to these cold case homicides but could never establish a connection. Even if not in the actually homicide, then, in some way, I'm sure of it. I don't know it's just a feeling I get." Helen said. The lines on her forehead showed puzzlement and Nikki wondered how could she possibly help?_

_"You mentioned that he's never been charged with the murders. Do you suppose you're questioning the failure of a conviction back then, and somehow sub-consciously holding onto him because those cases have never been solved?" Nikki said, sounding a bit rigid. Helen felt like she had been slapped. She was about to respond when Nikki stopped her. "Sorry Helen, I know I might be sounding a bit harsh."_

_"A bit harsh…more like dissecting me," She said harshly. She didn't like the feeling of being probed. _

_"I'm sorry, but I'm trying to keep an open mind and look from a different perspective. I'm not here to put blame or question your motives. My main goal is to understand what makes a person act out inappropriately. If that's a little harsh, then I mean no disrespect, but I suspect I'm here to help you look with fresh eyes. Bring a new angle." Nikki said, almost as if she was defending herself. She didn't like that feeling._

_Helen felt insulted. But really, she felt probed. Nikki had an amazing quality about her and she dissected her like she was an open book. It scared her. Could Nikki see into her soul? "Maybe you're right Nikki, in that aspect. But, I believe once you meet him you'll get the same feeling that I get."_

_"Has he ever displayed any psychosis behaviour such as hallucinations, delusions?" Nikki said giving Helen a warm smile. "Does he appear to show signs that he may think other people are controlling his thoughts, out to harm him?_

_"Yes, I've suspected that immediately. Does that mean something to you, Nikki?" Helen said nodding her head. She really hoped that Nikki would be able to help her._

_"I'm not sure Helen," Nikki said, relived that she was warming up to her again. "I won't get a real sense about his character until I met up with him. But I think he might be suffering from schizophrenia. Do you know that schizophrenia affect about 1% of the population? It is believed to be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors."_

_"No I did not." Helen said surprised. She kept her eyes on Nikki, and gazed upon her chocolate brown eyes that seemed to pierce her own. She study her mouth and noticed a dimple on Nikki's right cheek when she grinned. She was surprised when she realised that she kept staring at Nikki at an alarming rate. _

_"Many of them hear voices in their head, lack motivation or desire to from relationship which disables them to lead a normal life." Nikki continued saying, "They can also be very dangerous and strike with quick out-burst. I suspect he has manifested many of these behaviours."_

_"You're brilliant," Helen said, her demeanour calmer. "Maybe I'm too close for my own good with this bloke. I have read all his files from the psychiatrist," She took a sip of her water. "Frankly, she thought he would do better with a male psychiatrist, but that turned out to be complete disaster. I was wondering if you would consider seeing him. Maybe you can get through to him. That is, of course, if he's agreeable." _

_"Not sure how much insight I can shed onto this case, but I'm willing to give it a go."_

_"So you'll come aboard with us, Nikki?" Helen asked cautiously trying to give her best smile. "We could use fresh eyes and someone who can give us deep insight."_

_"You do realise I'm not a Criminal Psychologist or Profiler. If that's okay with you I'd like to get a better sense." Nikki said. She didn't want to commit until she had all the facts, but then she would get to work with Helen Stewart, someone she felt an immediate attraction to, but on the other hand, she might be chewing more than she bargained for. "Just give me the okay to dance with the devil," Nikki said, grinning._

_Helen smiled back. Nikki had a way to break tension with comical humour. "Will do Nikki Wade, Master of the mind. Besides, I think you'd be a brilliant Criminal Psychologist or Profiler if you wanted to. It's just a feeling I get."_

_"Well that's kind of you, really." Nikki let out a chuckle. "Alright, Helen, Master of deception, what's his main problem aside from suicidal tendencies and aggression?" Nikki asked. She was intrigued on the complexity of this murder investigation, yet she threw caution to the wind. She knew she might be out of her depth, but she wasn't one to back away from a real challenge. She didn't normally work with male patients, yet her instincts told her that this one would intrigue her. _

* * *

_"As long as we keep still, we should be safe enough here." Monica decided, with a wry little smile. She noticed the door was ajar. Cautiously, she went inside; it was dark and cold, but not as cold as the street outside. "This seems cosy enough," she remarked. "I'm sure no one would mind if we made ourselves comfortable for a while." Finding an old sack lying on the ground, Monica took it out and shook it, sending the black dust flying through the air. Then she laid it on the cold concrete of a run-down garage and sat herself down, with her cat at her feet as always. As the cold struck through Monica thin skirt, she shivered. "It's a hard life, Sadie my girl," she sighed. "So much untold, hidden," Monica murmured, "and no one to hear my silence." Memories swamped Monica. It came at her with vengeance, with callus movements, cutting through her soul. She could never forget them. Monica could not say when it all began to go wrong. There had been times when life was good, and times when she despaired. She had known love and laughter, and sadness of a kind that would stay with her until her dying day. Once, a lifetime ago, she had a promising future, a family, and reason to hope. Now, it was all gone, and she was reduced to a vagabond on the streets. She never begged and took no favours, and always believed that something better would come along; that somehow, life would get easier. But it never did, and with each passing day, she grew older, and wearier of life. _


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

_Helen sighed. "I haven't told you everything yet, Nikki"_

_Nikki looked at Helen and wondered what she was holding back. "I'm listening."_

_"Well, as strange as it might sound to you, he's alleging that he was victimized recently by police officers," Helen chuckled. "He claims that he was attacked viciously and sexually violated because he's the prime suspect of the rape and murder, which of course, he denies complete involvement."_

_Nikki was taken aback. Did she hear correctly? "Is that plausible?"_

_Helen thought about it for a moment before answering. "Honestly, I think it's a fabrication in his mind, but of course I can't rule out the possibility that there might be some truth to his story." Nikki looked over at Helen with interest and she sense it. "Well, officers have been known to go out of their way, if you know what I mean." Nikki felt sick. It's not like she was under any illusion. She had heard of corruption and brutality in the force, but officers were the first line of defence and if you can't put your faith in them, then whom can you trust._

_"Look Nikki, I know you're probably thinking how awful this must sound. But believe me when I say most officers are sworn to uphold the law. You'll always have the rotten apples in a bunch. Still, I don't believe what he said to be true. Certain facts of his story doesn't add up." She said, trying to defuse the notion that all officers were corrupted. _

_"I can only guess he's not taking proper medication to control his delusions and paranoia. Is he capable of murder, I don't know. He probably suffers from social isolation, and from the information I gathered he has hallucination, typically regarded as manifestations of psychosis." Nikki said, thinking. "If he was assaulted, then he will most likely shows signs of bizarre behaviour towards authoritative figures."_

_"He does seem to fit the profile," Helen said intrigued by Nikki's conclusion. "If he in fact suffers from schizophrenia or had a psychotic break, then I'm way out of my league." She chastised herself. "It's funny, during one of our interrogation he seemed arrogant, very controlling, and his eyes looked like the devil. Kept saying that they needed to die. It was God's will." _

_"Did you sense at that moment that he was hearing voices in his head or seeing things that were not there?" Nikki said raising her brow._

_"I did think he was having illusions, but just because you're neglected as a child or abused doesn't mean you'll grow up to have Bipolar disorders." Helen said, knowing that she probably didn't understand how schizophrenia minds really worked._

_"Actually hallucinations are different from illusions, or perceptual distortions, which are the misperception of external stimuli." Nikki explained. "Although, I can't make a judgment until I meet him, but from what you mentioned earlier, it doesn't seem consistent with his behaviour. A person who suffers from Bipolar disorder would display certain characteristics and I don't see it here. Although, certain characteristics do bleed onto one another."_

_"Really, what makes you think that? He was diagnosed as being Bipolar." Helen said intrigued. This Nikki was a sharp tool._

_"They would suffer from panic attacks, have obsessive thoughts, unrelenting worries or have an incapacitating phobia. They suffer from extreme highs and lows of depression. Their moods are so intense that they interfere with their ability to function." Nikki explained. "Mason behaviour would almost certainly be pervasive and distort experience by misconstruing the simple act of friendliness as hostile or contemptuous. He seems to have emotional difficulty and irritability due to impairment in social cognition." _

_Helen looked at Nikki with awe. She couldn't help but admire her. She felt an attraction, not physically, although, if she was truthful, she did feel something, but wasn't quite sure what that 'something was'. It couldn't be physical, because she was straight and wasn't supposed to feel those kinds of things. Whatever she felt during college was just a phase and nothing more. That is what she kept telling herself._

_"Has he ever been aggressive towards you or others during your interrogations with him?" Nikki asked, putting her fingers underneath her chin, thinking._

_"No, not towards me personally. But he has been in altercations with other male officers. He has an extensive record, mostly assault with deadly weapon throughout his adulthood and other minor misdemeanours." Helen said. "Honestly, I don't believe his story." _

_"Is he married or divorce? Does he have any children, family with a history of schizophrenia?" Nikki asked squinting her eyes. _

_"I believe he lives alone and I don't really know if he's ever been married, or had children. As for family, as I mentioned earlier, he appears to be a ghost with no family history" Helen laughed to cover her frustration then she leaned forward. "He kept saying I was trying to control his mind, trying to poison him. Told me I was emotionally raping him. I nearly struck him." Helen said between her teeth._

_"You don't have to defend yourself to me, Helen. I know your reputation, and I've heard nothing but positive things about you from Karen. You said you thought he was setting you up for something. Can you be more specific?" Nikki asked. She could see Helen's frustration and she found that attractive. _

_Helen took a deep breath then let out a heavy sigh. "I wish I could explain further, Nikki, but it's really just a feeling I get." She thought a moment. "Last week, during interrogation, it occurred to me that everything he was saying was rehearsed. Like someone coerced him into changing his story. When I tested my theory, he got hostile with me and told me to that he felt I was concentrating too much on the surface, and not enough on the obvious." Helen sat back, crossed her arms._

_"Did you ask him what he meant by 'emotional rape'?" Nikki queried. Her facial expression told Helen she was concerned._

_"I really didn't think much of it. I thought he was just trying to wind me up or trying to manipulate me." Helen sighed again. "Obviously, I'm not qualified to do an assessment on him. I'm out of my league here Nikki. As an officer we're trained to use our intuition and knowledge in solving crimes."_

_"Maybe the word 'rape' has deep meaning for him," Nikki said, thinking. "Perhaps he was molested as a child and then molested other children, as some rape victims do when they become adults." Helen was impressed. Nikki had an insightful quality about her that she admired. "Or perhaps, in a sick way, he had witnessed or was involved in the rape and the torment of what he's done has driven him to punish himself outwardly. Maybe he's trying to amend for the sins that have haunted him in the past. He's having difficulty distinguishing fact from reality. He's progressing." _

_"Wow, you really are brilliant," Helen smiled. She found herself wanting to know more about this Nikki Wade character and why she was becoming fascinated with her. She never met such an intriguing character and it made her feel something. A feeling she wasn't quite sure she could explain. An alienated feeling that she felt only once, so many years ago. But true to her nature, she would shrug it off as an overreaction._

_"You mentioned that you don't think he would do harm to you. Maybe he's testing you and this could be used to his advantage." Nikki said._

_"I realise that, which is why I'm trying to establish a connection." Helen answered. "At first when he was brought in he didn't want to speak to anyone except for a female officer. I'm not quite sure why. Ever since, he's demanded to only speak with me." _

_"I mean no disrespect here, Helen, but maybe he sees you as a pawn in a chess board game. Someone, who, he knows might listen to his side of the story. The bottom line is - if you feel any apprehension, then maybe you should keep a distance from him. Perhaps you're getting too close to this case. You might need to focus on other evidence." Nikki said, trying not to sound as if she was going Helen an order. She was there to give her insights and opinions even if it was something Helen did not agree with._

_"Well, I don't deny that he does concern me, yet I don't really believe he would be do something harmful towards me. I can't really explain it, Nikki. I think he would consider it rude to lay harm to me." Helen said, her voice, a little hesitate. "I know you must think I'm too focused on one person and that I should concentrate on other evidence, but he's connected. I can't see any other alternatives." She said passionately. "That's why I need you Nikki. I need you to give me an assessment on him. See what we're not seeing." _

_"You know as well as I do there's a lot of 'what ifs' in our business. You also know that psychiatry is not an exact science." Nikki said leaning back on the chair. She sensed that Helen felt a little helpless, and that's a difficult feeling when you're trying to help someone. She knew from her own experience that she never gave up on a patient unless it was doing more harm than good. _

_Even though Nikki was right, it wasn't what Helen wanted to hear. "Did you ever lose a patient, Nikki?" _

_"Sure, it's part of the job. There are some who we cannot save. I try to focus on those we can." Nikki said quickly, remembering Trisha. She felt a tightening in her heart._

_"I don't like losing, and I don't want to lose this one, it's too important to me," Helen's eyes pleading for sympathy._

_"Listen, you can say and do whatever you want, Helen. I'm not here to judge your methods, but you're on a thin line here." Now Nikki was patronizing her. _

_"What would you do?" Helen asked shifting in her chair. _

_Nikki thought about it for a moment. "Okay after what you told me I might have to look at other evidence. You're spending too much time and energy on this one bloke, and you could be ignoring important pieces of evidence." Again, Nikki was right, Helen realised as she thought about the sleepless nights she'd spent since first meeting Mason. But she couldn't shake off a feeling that she could break through to him, if only she could find an angle. Something inside her told her that this was a much more complex case than she knew._

_"I know I'm crazy to tell you this, but at times when off duty I sit in my car and watch his building from afar." Helen glanced up, and before Nikki could say anything, she added, "I went there for a reason. Please don't chastise me for my lack of professionalism. I know I was wrong. But I did it, okay? Yet the question remains, why does it seem like I'm reaching out to a ghost? Something doesn't add up." _

_Nikki had stopped reading the file, when she glanced up at Helen. "You do realise, don't you, that you're breaking the cardinal rule here? You're allowing yourself to get personally involved with a suspect." Helen nodded, looking down. She sighed heavily then placed her hands on the desk. "What are you trying to prove, Helen?" _

_Helen cleared her throat. "I think...I don't know what I think." Trying not to look at Nikki. "I don't know Nikki. I've never come across anything like this before. I hope once you meet him, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I don't know how to proceed. I'm out of my depth here. Obviously you are too, since you aren't helping me." _

_Nikki sighed again then ran her fingers through her hair. "This sound like a plot for a mystery novel. What day is his release?"_

_"This Wednesday. Of course I have to get permission from the appointed psychiatrist." Helen stated._

_"Yes, of course. Well, let me know and we'll take it from there. I'm sorry I can't be more of a help at the moment." _

_"It's okay Nikki, I didn't expect a miracle," Helen weakly smiled. At least she felt that Nikki was on the same page as her. Maybe with her help, Helen can finally put this case to rest and get Simon off her back. At least she had the support of Detective Chief Superintendent Neil Grayling._

* * *

_"What took you so long, I'm freezing out here," he whispered. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to meet me."_

_"Sorry, it's just that my old woman was in such a foul mood today." The voice responded. "Are we alone? Why don't we take a walk first?"_

_"Yes, but is this wise," He glanced nervously about. "We mustn't be seen together."_

_"I know, but it's such a beautiful evening." He gave him an impious smile. "I talk better when I'm walking."_

_"Sounds serious."_

_"It is." He said, with a crude laugh._

_The other man looked nervous. "Is this about the Detectives and Mason?" A deep frown creased his worried face._

_"Yes -."_

_He looked down at the floor. He didn't want to go through this again. _

_"He's gone and got himself into trouble again. Went and cut himself real badly. The police are on him like a fly on shite. I think he's going to break." The taller man said._

_"He wouldn't do that. I know he's unstable but I don't think he'll speak."_

_"How can you be so sure of that? Look what happened six years ago. Or have you forgotten?" He said irritated._

_"But we took care of that." He said, remembering. It made him sick to his stomach._

_"Yes, but I took care of that, remember. The police had nothing on him and they have nothing on him now. You need to be a little more relaxed."_

_"How can I be relaxed?"_

_"Listen, I'll deal with Mason once he gets out. Keep your shirt on and all will sort itself."_

_ "I'm just nervous about everything. How long can we keep this up?"_

_"Just as long as you keep your gob shut and leave Mason to me, nothing will change, do you hear me?" He said in a stern voice, almost a threatening quality to it. "You're not backing out are you?"_

_"We got to be careful" the voice said, nervously._

_"Just leave everything to me. You trust me don't you," the taller man said, his eyes cold as steel. "We are a team. Just play your part and I will take care of Mason."_

_"What does that mean? You're not planning to harm him, are you?" Feeling evil around them. He knew what he was doing would be seen as malevolent, yet he could not stop on his own will. He knew right from wrong and the consequences but what a rush it gave him._

_"Leave everything up to me." He smirked. He was coy and calm. His eyes were cold as steel. "We need another victim. I'm feeling generous and thinking we should be bold."_

_"Now? But I need to get back. What if we get caught?"_

_"Just follow my orders. You're going to give up your promising career for jail. What would your wife and precious daughters think if they knew what you are?" He said with a sneer. He felt a rush, and he needed to kill tonight._

_"Sod you. Keep my family out of this."_

_"I don't think you'll like it up the arse, so keep your gob shut and listen to me."_

_They moved out of earshot, but the dark figure in the alley had heard enough to have his suspicious confirmed. "Well, I'm buggered." The boy was beside himself with fright. "This isn't good."_

_"What the blazes are you doing?" He grabbed him by his jacket. "What the hell are you doing here? Are you spying you dirty little scoundrel."_

_Filled with the knowledge of what he had just heard, and feeling the taste of fear, the boy shivered. "I didn't hear nothing," he said, voice cracked. "You two are sick perverts."_

_"Is that so Johnny," the other man said. The boy knew something bad was going to happen and he knew he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. "Listen, you shouldn't be listening to people's conversations." He knew the boy from his neighbourhood._

_"I…I know you're lying. Let me go and I won't say nothing."_

_"Is that how it's going to be," The taller man said, his eyes piercing through him with daggers. Startled, he almost let him go, but then he tightened his grip and gave him a shaking. "Blackmail is it? Well, you can go to hell."_

_"It's not what you think." The boy said, frightened. "I promise I won't say nothing."_

_There was a moment of silence. The pain exploded in his groin. "You're a liar."_

_"I'm not. I swear to God." The boy said, pleading._

_What he found sickened him to his stomach._

* * *

"_Have you mentioned anything to Karen about Jim, Nikki?" Gino Rossi said._

_It was early morning. They were standing outside of the building, drinking their chocolate mocha and smoking a fag. The weather was fair, but it was early in the day and there was still a slight chill in the air._

"_No I haven't," Nikki said with a sneer. "That bastard makes me nauseous. I can't believe that Karen is so blind to the truth. He gives a bad rap to cheating louts in general." DC Jim Fenner was a swindler, he was like a predator, always on the lookout for a quick shag. He even had the audacity to come on to her. She wondered how he managed to keep his nuts intact. She at least had the wits to bang him about, although the thought of Jim shagging Shell Dockley made her skin crawl._

"_Oh, c'mon, it isn't all that bad, Nikki." Gina said playfully nudging Nikki's leg._

"_If I had known that man was going to be such an arse, then I would've thought twice about helping Helen." She said, a little horrified by the thought. "At least I get the satisfaction watching Helen flay into his manhood." Nikki grinned remembering the last encounter she had with Jim as Helen blasted him for being a useless twit and cocking up the investigation. Helen was brilliant undermining his abilities._

"_Well, he does have that certain shady aura about him." She acknowledged. "But then you have __wonderful moi." _

"_Who said that you were wonderful?" Nikki joked. Gina did her best pouting. "All right," Nikki conceded, "Maybe a little." _

"_I'm taking my boyfriend Mark out to dinner this Friday," Gina said. "And we're going to make fabulous love all evening."_

"_Fabulous love, eh?" The last time she was fickle with some bloke, she nearly caused the poor man to break into tears. "You mean the precious Mark Waddle, who always looks like he's got his silver spoon lodged up his arse, ain't that macho!" Nikki said in a mocking voice. "You're not a very good judge of character."_

"_Hey that's not fair." Gina shot back._

"_What about Frank Myers, what happened to him?"_

_Gina just sighed. "Oh, he's so bloody boring. Sure he might be good looking, but he doesn't have any exciting qualities. That man could put a fish to sleep."_

"_What are you talking about? You're so bloody head perfect." Nikki crossed her arms and shook her head at Gina._

"_Well, it's me doing the dating, so I don't see why it should matter to you and besides, the man has no clue how to please a woman sexually." She spat._

"_Point taken," Nikki replied. "But you dated, Frank, what, two months."_

"_I guess. But sexually a let-down." Gina said, wondering how a handsome man like Frank would be so lousy in bed. Maybe she was expecting too much or had high standards._

"_Besides," Nikki added, "You told me that he was on his best behaviour and a perfect, gentlemen during your relationship. Just give him another chance you might be missing out on a great opportunity," this despite Nikki's own feelings of ambivalence to dating. "I hear Mark has a wandering eye."_

"_Sure, Nikki," Gina said finishing off the remainder of her mocha. "You can be my radar detector. Before I date a bloke, you must partake in the decision. This way I can in advance, save myself from future humiliation." She said sarcastically towards Nikki._

"_Well, don' come running back clutching the pieces of your life, when Mark infringes on your heart." As they both made their way back into the building. All of a sudden Nikki was being pushed aside by a rather tallish man who looked like her was in a hurry. "Watch where you're going jerk," Nikki said turning around and finding the git named Jim Fenner looking like a man bent on steamrolling anyone who was in his path._

"_Not now, Nikki." He said in a hurried voice._

"_It's nine-thirty in the morning, for god's sake," Nikki said gnashing her teeth. "What's your bloody rush? Don't you have a crime scene to go to?" She spat. "Bloody arsehole."_

"_Mind your sodding business, dyke," was his only reply._

_The elevator door opened as Jim hastily got in. Gina stood beside Nikki, "What was his problem? Did someone piss in his coffee?"_

"_How the hell should I know? The man is a boorish buffoon." Nikki said feeling her blood pressure, rise slightly at the mention of his name._

"_Why did he tell you to sod off?"_

"_Maybe Karen finally gave him a good shag with the backside of her boot and he's here to grovel at her feet." Nikki said, grinning. "And, listen, I'd just as soon not give into that bastard. I know you probably think I'm overly exaggerating, but that man strikes my cord in a wrong way. How he can be a Detective Inspector is unempirical. _

"_Hell, no, he's a real sinker," she said in a jaded voice. Once in the elevator Gina turned to Nikki, "Personal, I think he's having an affair with, you know, the tart, Shell Dockley. _

"_I think anyone with a brain thinks that." Nikki said, her brow raised. "Of course, Karen is so glib. She needs to remove her rose-coloured glasses." _

_The elevator door clanked open and Gina and Nikki stepped out into the reception area. Joaquin was at the front desk, heels up and flipping through a Penthouse magazine and laughing with Shell. When he saw them he closed the magazine and put his feet down._

"_Is Karen in her office yet?" Nikki asked Shell._

"_I don't think so. I haven't seen her yet," she replied._

"_Joaquin, ring me when she gets in. I'm supposed to have a meeting with her."_

"_Fine," He said, sounding uninterested._

_Nikki then turned her attention to Joaquin who looked like he was trying to hide his embarrassment from her. "Did you manage to get those files I asked for? I'm expecting them on my desk before noon. And try to be more careful this time. Last time you spilled coffee all over the papers." Nikki said._

"_Hey, man, that wasn't my fault." He defended himself, feeling resentment towards Nikki who was __always up his arse, giving him orders._

"_Did the leprechaun steal the files, Joaquin." Nikki looked over at Gina who was teasing her jokingly._

_He folded his magazine, got up slowly, and went to the desk. Joaquin has worked at the hospital a little over a year, but Nikki knew sooner or later that he probably end up being fired. It wasn't something she felt sad about; he was a nice enough bloke. But how he managed to ever become a junior nurse was disturbing to Nikki. He was rather thin on skills. He knew his way around but he had his face so far up __Karen's arse she wondered how much crap one person could take. _

_The door from the stairway then banged open and Yvonne stamped through, wheezing out of breath. "Damn those road rage idiots," she said irritated and out of breath._

"_Good morning, Yvonne" Nikki said smiling._

_Yvonne looked up to find Nikki standing with her arms crossed and smiling. "Oh, g'day, Nikki," she said. "Damn traffic woes, sometimes I feel like trading my car for a moped."_

"_Oh, you wouldn't be able to ride one of those things, Yvonne," Nikki giggled. "It might ruin your hair."_

"_Oi, you outta know," Yvonne laughed. "I might surprise you one day." She said. "Did that bastard come here?"_

"_Which bastard are you referring to," Nikki laughed. Yvonne laughed at the realisation of what Nikki meant._

"_Oh you know, that middle-aged man, who walks around stalking any two pair of legs that's attached to a pair of big bosoms." Yvonne said outraged._

"_Ah, you mean Jim Fenner, royal nuisance, thorn on my side, your least favourite slimy git." Nikki said half-heartedly._

_Yvonne gave Nikki a disgruntled look, "Yeah, that famous royal shit, who at every opportunity takes full advantage of harassing me, every chance he gets."_

"_What did he do this time, Yvonne?" Nikki said in a knowing look._

"_That bastard almost ran me off the road. Just cause he's riding in with his flashers on doesn't mean he can be a menace to society" she said shaking her head. "I figured he was heading this direction and I swear I could see that bastard Fenner sneering as he passed me." Yvonne said not looking too pleased. _

"_Well he sure ruffled your feathers this morning, Von." Nikki said feeling apologetic towards Yvonne. "Personally, the man makes my skin feel dirty whenever he's near. It's almost like, he's watching me with depraved eyes," Nikki felt a chill run through her spine. "I hate the fact that I have to see him more often now that I am involved with the murder case." _

"_Friggin' nutter," Yvonne said, "If he thinks he's got the upper hand, he'd better watch his back. I'll get my Charlie to whack off his knobbly knees. " _

"_Careful, Yvonne," Nikki replied, "That man ain't worth doing time for in the joint. You'll get much more satisfaction by embarrassing him or getting him canned."_

"_I suspect you right, Nikki," Yvonne agreed, "I'm going to take pleasure bringing that bastard to his knees one way or another mark my words. One day."_

* * *

_(Back at Nikki's office)_

"_Can I trust you Nikki?" She said, looking deep into Nikki's soul, as if she knew the terrors that hid behind those brown eyes._

"_I can't answer that. Trust is for you to decide." Replied Nikki to her patient._

"_The less I tell, the more you see me. I like that. You do like seeing me?"_

"_I wouldn't be here, Maxine, if it wasn't important."_

"_That's a cruel answer to my question. Try this one. And I'll know if you're lying. Am I the only person in your life?"_

_Nikki paused. In truth, there wasn't anyone in her life, except for the growing feelings she was starting to feel for Helen. "I guess you are." Nikki smiled. She had an uncanny report with Maxine, her special patient._

"_When was the moment you realised killing was an option?" Nikki asked._

"_The first time I hated myself?"_

"_How did you cope with that feeling?" Nikki said._

"_I didn't cope. It overwhelmed me. It was a tidal wave of revulsion. All I saw was lifeless limb and a suspended expression."_

"_But you killed your entire family. At some point you could've stopped."_

"_The revulsion was weaker than the urge. Or maybe the urge got stronger. I became out of control. Did things even I was ashamed of."_

"_Do you feel remorse now?" Nikki questioned looking at Maxine who had a smug look on her face._

"_You should know the answer to that question." She replied grinning._

"_Do you think you could be reformed? Is that something you want?" Nikki inquired knowing the answer._

"_No," she replied. "I don't want to lessen the pain. I am fully aware of my urges and the need to control them."_

"_Is that okay with you?"_

"_Yes," she looked down. "That's why I want to help you Nikki."_

"_So where do I look?" Nikki asked. She knew she could learns things from her patient._

"_Where you least expect it. If I hadn't left the clues no one would have found me. I was the person everyone overlooked, except you. I'm only telling you this because I love you and I know you love me too." She said smiling._

_Nikki looked intently towards Maxine. Her eyes at times seem so cold, frightening. Her calm demeanour suggested she wasn't afraid to die or had remorse towards the killing act. Yet, at times she could be so childish in her approach. She was after-all, still a teenager when she slaughtered her entire family. Still, Nikki was fascinated with her. Was Maxine borne into a life a violence or did she possess the killing gene in her. She knew that the trust and bond she had with Maxine was dangerous yet insightful. She could gain insight from a killer's mind._

_(I'm not an expert on Psychology or Criminology, so I might not be 100% accurate. I just hope everyone who is reading my story is enjoying it as things will start to heat up. Stayed tuned...Chapter 7 should be up very soon. Hope everyone is enjoying my story so far)_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

_"So how did your meeting with Nikki Wade go?" Karen asked, sitting next to Helen._

_"It was interesting and she seemed very intelligent and passionate," Helen said nodding. "In fact, she was brilliant, and I'm looking forward to working with her." _

_"That's Nikki for you," Karen said grinning widely. She knew both women would get along. "She loves a good challenge. You won't have to worry about her work behaviour. She's really intense, though, a bit of a hothead and opinionated." _

_"Yeah, I can see your point of view." Helen nodded in agreement. "Listen I don't have long before I have to head back to see Mr. Stubberfield. He's up my arse about this case. Like I don't already know the complications. It's not my fault they screwed up on the old case file, and now I have to mop up their mistakes." _

_Karen looked at Helen who looked a little tired. Maybe it was the stress of engagement to Sean. "She's also quite enchanting," Karen said grinning at Helen. _

_"What," Helen said lost in her thoughts._

_"I was referring to Nikki being fascinating," Karen repeated. She didn't know why but she thought Nikki and Helen would make a nice couple but unfortunate for Nikki, Helen was engaged._

_"Yes, she does have a way to draw you in her web." Helen said a little hesitant. Yes Nikki was attractive, but she was straight and she didn't look at women in that way at least she told herself. _

_"Karen, did you see Nikki?" Gina Rossi said, walking up towards them. Gina was one of the attending Doctors. She specialized in head trauma. "Sorry, hello Helen." Helen nodded._

_"I believe she stepped out, why?" Karen asked._

_"I wanted to give her the results from one of her patients." Gina said._

_"You coming out next week?" Karen asked Gina, trying to avoid Helen's eyes._

_"Sorry, mate, going to have to take a rain check. My boyfriend Mark is taking me out to a romantic dinner." _

_Karen smirked. "Hold on, didn't you mention last week that he was a good for nothing lout with a wandering eye."_

_Gina smiled, "That was so last week, Karen. I thought you knew the difference." _

_"Sounds like you're trying to be bloody head perfect," Karen shook her head. Gina didn't have a good track record with men. In truth, neither did she._

_"Well if you see Nikki, tell her to ring me in," Gina said quickly. "See you later. Bye." _

_Helen looked at Karen with an annoyed expression. Why did Karen exclude her? She was a little hurt that she was not invited, but she wasn't entirely surprised either. As if Karen could read Helen's mind she said, __"Bunch of us gals are going to a club called 'Boogie Nights'. I wanted to take Nikki out and show her around and it would be nice to celebrate her book."_

_"A girls night out," Helen said, wondering why Karen was telling her now. Maybe she felt guilty. "I didn't realise that Nikki was a writer too." Helen was amazed how talented Nikki was. What other talents hid behind those piercing brown eyes? _

_"That woman has many talents, but don't tell her that, she's so unpretentious. She hates to be made a fuss about." Karen smirked thinking about Nikki. "You should read it, it's called 'Fragile Dreams'." _

_"Perhaps I will someday." Helen smiled back. "Been a long time since I had a good read."_

_Karen began to felt uncomfortable. She didn't invite Helen to the outing, but recently she seemed to always decline her invitations, so she didn't bother. "Well, if you don't have plans that weekend, perhaps you could come. I'm sure Nikki would love to have you join us." _

_"Are you sure? I don't want to seem like I'm putting you on the spot." Heled replied. She didn't want to impose, especially since she was originally excluded. She knew that it was partly her fault. _

_"So, come anyway. It will give you a chance to let down your hair, or do you have to ask Sean first?" Karen grinned over at Helen who looked annoyed. She didn't like Sean, and he seemed very controlling._

_She cringed at Sean's name. "I don't need permission if you must know. I think I will. I need to wallow in alcohol." _

_"Now you're talking woman," Karen rubbed Helen's shoulder. "But I need to tell you something first." Helen wondered why Karen sounded serious all of a sudden. "Nikki is gay." _

_"Why are you telling me this?" Helen said, a little surprised at the revelation. Why did Karen tell her something that seemed to be personal? It didn't matter if Nikki was open about her sexuality._

_"I guess you didn't realise that Nikki was gay." Karen said, waiting for Helen's expression. Nikki was attractive and oozed sexuality. Nikki was different from anyone she knew. Inwardly Helen smiled. Nikki did flirt with her and seemed to enjoy doing it. "Is that a problem, I mean Nikki being a gay. You won't have any problem working with her?" Karen asked even though she knew the answer._

_"Why would I? I don't have a problem with someone's sexual preference. Nikki seems nice, and what she does in her bedroom is none of my business," Helen said a little grated. Why was Karen being so determined? "And as for working with her closely, I do have gay friends, remember. It shouldn't be a problem." Helen said defensively. She felt like Karen was being overly protective of Nikki. She wondered how Nikki would react if she knew Karen was telling her. Although, Nikki seemed like someone who was comfortable in her own skin. She admired that quality in her._

_"That's settle then. You two will get on famously. Nikki's great on the humour, and strong on opinions. She's very giving, but a flirt." Karen said smiling. Obviously, the way Karen was taking about Nikki, she felt highly about her. Her first encounter with Nikki was interesting. In fact, when Nikki left her office that morning, she hadn't thought of anything else, and it troubled her. But then, she didn't allow herself to befriend many, except for a few and her best friend Claire Walker, who is a University teacher. She told herself she would make a conscience effort to befriend Nikki Wade._

* * *

**_A few hours later…_**

_"Yvonne, I know you keep tabs on the comings and goings in the hospital. What do you know about Nikki Wade? You seem to know everything and I was a bit curious, since she will be working with me." Helen got on well with Yvonne Atkins. When Karen first introduced them at a party, Yvonne seemed quite charming. She was the Chief Nurse and difficult to work with, or so she was told by Karen. She wasn't quite sure why she didn't just ask Karen, but she knew Karen would question her motives. It was really just curiosity she told herself._

_There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. "Hmm," Yvonne finally said. "As a matter of fact, I do know a thing or two. I pried it out of Nikki over drinks one day." Yvonne joked. She got on well with Nikki and it didn't take her long to ask Nikki personal things. Yvonne made it a point to know as much about others. "Her parents died in a terrible accident when she was just fourteen. She lived with her godmother, up until she left to go to University." _

_"Do you happen to know if she's married or if she's seeing anyone?" Helen ventured, knowing she was probably stepping on a thin line. She didn't know why she was asking when she knew the answer._

_There was a smile in Yvonne's voice when she answered. "No, she isn't married. She was seeing someone back at her hometown, a young lawyer, but it didn't last long. I don't know if you know this but Nikki's gay." _

_"Is she? She doesn't seem the type." Helen remarked, trying to sound surprised. _

_"Helen, what does this have to do with working with her?" Yvonne asked, knowing that Helen would play innocent. "Why didn't you just ask Karen about Nikki? She knows her quite well."_

_"I don't know what you mean, Yvonne." Helen said, trying to change the subject. "I was only asking because…" _

_"Forget it. I'm being nosy. I think it's good that you are interested in Nikki Wade as a person." _

_"I was thinking about inviting her over for dinner to discuss the case that we're working on. And I wanted to know a little about her. You know me Yvonne. I like to be well informed about whom I'm working with. It's no different than Dominic. Remember when I found out that he was going to be my partner. You thought I was crazy for playing the Detective." Helen said in her defence._

_"Well, you did frighten the poor sod. I think he's still afraid of you," Yvonne laughed. "If I wasn't a married woman I'd probably shag him."_

_"Yvonne," Helen said, smirking over the phone. "He was wet between the ears, now look at him, well respected and keen to get on with things." She said. "So don't get so paranoid that I'm asking you questions about Nikki."_

_"Fine if you say so," said Yvonne, the words full of innuendo. Yvonne didn't really think that Helen and Sean made a good couple; in fact, she didn't understand why she was even with the slimy git. He was so controlling, that it made her skin crawl. Yvonne knew Helen's personality and she thought she should be with someone who allowed her to breathe, to become her own woman. Someone who could put the fire in her eyes, which she had never seen. Perhaps, she needed someone different. "Well, from what I've heard about Nikki, you two should get along. I hope that helps you." _

_Helen smiled to herself. It was all really innocent. "Yes, that helps. Is there anything about anybody you don't know?" _

_"Hmm, let's see," Yvonne, said as if she was actually considering answering the question. "Nope." _

* * *

_"DCI Helen Stewart speaking." His voice came over the phone. "No, I don't have a problem with that. Thanks for pulling some strings for me. I owe you one." She remembered Nikki. "While I have you on the phone," she said, purposely trying to sound upbeat, "I'd like to tell you that I would like Dr. Nikki Wade, to look over his case. If you have a problem with this, you need to let me know now." Helen held her breath as she awaited his answer. "Thank you Doctor. Then you'll inform Mason that we'll be bringing him in when he's released on Wednesday." Helen hung up and stared across the room. Then she thought about Mason. What was wrong with him? Was there something about today that was different from other days? Nikki was right, Helen was breaking the cardinal rule by getting personally involved. She needed to stop thinking about Mason because every time she did, she thought about his life, his movements, and what lay beneath those blue eyes that seemed so horrible and frightening. _

_Helen picked up her mobile phone and started dialling. "Sean, it's me. I have to cancel dinner this evening. Something's come up." She said, knowing that he was going to not like it. She knew he would probably whine._

_"I thought we would head to my parents for dinner." Sean pouted. He was spending less and less time with Helen and he absolutely hated it. He wondered if she was cheating on him but he knew deep down inside that she would not be unfaithful to him._

_"Sorry Sean, but I'm up to my eyeballs with work and I need to run over a few things. Please, it's important. I promise we'll see each other this weekend." Helen said, tired of his complaints. At times she wished she was alone. But pride and stubbornness always got in the way and her judgment on relationships were erroneous._

_"We seem to spend less time together and I get the feeling you're not happy in the relationship. You work always come first," he whimpered like a spoiled child._

_"Don't play that tune on me Sean. You know I'm swamped with work and I would really appreciate some sympathy from you." Helen said her voice irritated. "I have enough pressure from work and the last thing I need is you complaining like a prat."_

_"Is that what you think I'm doing? I'm trying to be patient with you. What if I come by later?"_

_"Please Sean. I really don't think that's a good idea. I don't know when I will be home." She could sense that he didn't want to give in, but he really had no choice. She was determined to be alone. _

_"Fine, have it your way. But don't expect me to be calling." He was irritated with Helen._

_"I won't hold my breath." Helen said quickly, before hanging up the phone. He was starting to get on her nerves. She started dialing the phone again._

_"Nikki Wade speaking."_

_"Hello Nikki, this is Helen Stewart." She said, sounding a little nervous._

_"Yes, of course, is there a problem?" Nikki said wondering why Helen was calling. Her voice sounded sexy over the phone. She liked her soft Scottish accent. Nikki felt like cheese melting on a hot summer day._

_"No, no problem Nikki," Helen said. "I was wondering if," a little hesitation, "well, I thought that it might be good if we got together at my place to discuss the case further. I also wanted to tell you that I arranged for you to take on Mason case file on Wednesday when he's released from the ward. "_

_"Are you asking me out Helen?" Nikki said, knowing full well she was going to make her uncomfortable._

_"I…er…" Helen was stumped. She didn't expect those words to come out of Nikki mouth._

_"I girl likes to be wine and dined." Helen could hear Nikki laughing at the end of the line. "Sorry, Helen. I'm being crass. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You don't like jokes very much do you." Nikki smiled inside knowing she was getting to Helen._

_"Sorry, no, just been a long day. My brain doesn't seem to be working at the moment." Helen breathed a sigh of relief._

_"What time do you want me over?" Nikki asked. She didn't even know if Helen knew that she was gay, but that didn't matter. If she turned out to be a prune then there was nothing that she could do, but something inside her told her that Helen wouldn't shy away. It was in her eyes. The softness that she found alluring. She felt that Helen flirted too. Didn't she, she doubted? Maybe it was all innocent or in her imagination._

_"Is after seven okay with you, Nikki?"_

_"Yeah, I have a few errands to run, but I should be in after seven." Nikki said, her voice sounding happy._

_"Yes of course. Let me give you my address," Helen replied._

_"No need, Helen. I make it my business to know everything about the person I'm working with."_

_Helen was impressed. Nikki was quite the Detective herself. "You impress me Nikki." She said._

_"Why is that?" Nikki breathed into the phone waiting for a reply._

_"Well, for starters, you don't hesitate and waste time." She said. "Plus, you're very intuitive."_

_"It's all part of the plan, Helen." Nikki teased. Flirting with Helen came naturally, but she knew that she had to be careful. Helen was straight and engaged and she certainly didn't want to fall for another straight girl. Those relationship always ended up being shite._

_"Again, impressed." Helen repeated. She smiled inwardly. She was looking forward to having Nikki at her place._

_"Then I'll see you tonight." Nikki said, in a suggestive matter._

_"Yes, you will." Helen said, smiling as she hung up her phone. She knew that having Nikki around could very well be dangerous to her mental health._

* * *

_(At Helen's flat)_

_"Paddock Shiraz or Cabernet Sauvignon?" Nikki grinned knowing Helen would gasp._

_"Really," Helen rolled her eyes. "You think I'm made of money? Those wines are bloody expensive for my blood."_

_"But I got an expensive palette. Sorry, my upbringing." Nikki quipped. "A bottle of whatever you have then. Don't want you going broke on my account." She smiled over at Helen who was shaking her head._

_"Expensive palette my arse." Helen smiled over at Nikki and she felt her stomach flip. "I wanted to go rummaging through the case files with you." Helen said trying to forget the uneasy feeling she had near Nikki. _

_"Okay," Nikki sat down next to Helen on the sofa. "But maybe you should offer me food first, before we overload our brains." Nikki grinned over at Helen._

_Helen blushed immediately that she didn't have the good sense to offer Nikki something. She was distracted by Nikki's presence to think clearly. It was a good thing that she bought food otherwise she'd have nothing to offer Nikki. She wasn't sure if she would expect food. Then again, she didn't bother to ask either. She mentally told herself to be the wiser the next time: food before work._

_She was arresting – that was the only way Helen could describe Nikki. For all that, she was astonishingly mysterious, yet Nikki had a dark beauty that screamed danger in the subtlest way. And as for what lay beneath her beauty that was the darkest of all – as Helen would come to see._

_"How did you end up working as a DCI?" Nikki asked curiously._

_"I'm originally from Scotland, and when I was a student, I volunteered as a Police Cadet then as a Police Community Support Officer. I completed the Standard Entrance Test and went to Police College. Then decided to get my Bachelor of Arts degree in Criminology at Edinburgh." Helen smiled. "My parents didn't approve of my career choice. They were always afraid that one day they would get a knock at their door in the middle of the night? How about you Nikki? Do you parents approve of your career?" Helen immediately recoiled. She remembered what Yvonne told her._

_Nikki's smiled faded. She didn't talk much about her parents, but she felt comfortable with Helen. "They died when I was fourteen. Both my parents were killed in a high-speed chase."_

_"That's horrible." Helen said trying to sound shocked. She didn't like lying to Nikki but she didn't want Nikki to feel like she was probing into her life. It was an awful feeling._

_"No, no," Nikki said shaking her head. "My parents had just come home from the theatre after watching an opera. The police were chasing a couple of blokes who had murdered and robbed a clerk from a gas station. The thieves ran a red light and broadsided my parents' car. The car was ripped apart. Dad was dead on arrival and mum died a week later at the hospital. She never regained consciousness." Nikki paused. She tried to ward off thoughts of the loss of her parents. It was a very difficult time in her young life. She felt as if her whole world fell apart. Those were dark times. "My parents were very much in love. They told me once that they wanted to die together and they wanted it to be quick. I remember them joking that when they got old and feeble, they would just drive off a cliff together. They almost got their wish. I don't think they ever knew what hit them. I really miss them so much. I still feel a void in my life and I just wish they could see me now. I know they would be very proud of me."_

_"I'm so very sorry," Helen said, watching her fight to hold back tears. "It must have been terrible. It's part of the job that no one likes." Helen reached over and put her hand over Nikki's. It felt warm and somehow the touch made her heart beat faster. _

_"The food looks delicious," Nikki said as she watched Helen dive into her meal. "I make a mean vegetarian lasagne. I don't eat meat anymore, although I did when I was younger until I started to get gross by it all. I do love cheese and milk, so you can say I'm not a true vegan. I've seen one too many cruelty to animals to ever eat meat again."_

_"Gee, thanks ever so much for setting a great dinner mood," Helen said, popping a piece of chicken into her mouth. "I'm sorry I didn't know you didn't eat meat. I feel embarrassed that you're only eating a salad."_

_Nikki smiled at Helen's impediment. "Don't work yourself over me. It's quite alright. I do love the greens."_

_"How did you become a Clinical Psychologist?" Helen asked wanting to know about Nikki. _

_"Funny how many people ask me that question," Nikki replied. "It's probably a good dinner conversation starter."_

_"Go for it. Just about anything will beat a discussion about animal cruelty." Helen said, grinning._

_"After my parents died I had to deal with their estate. I lived with my godmother Barbara. I was an only child and they left me everything, including their home and a Cottage up north. I was fourteen in college and everything seemed so messed up. I was feeling very depressed. My parents lived most of their married lives in a big old Victorian house on a hundred-acre farm. I discovered some letters packed away in my mum's things. I took them to my parent's attorney and got the shock of my life." Nikki paused to tackle another bite of her salad. "I found out I was adopted."_

_"You didn't have any idea before that?" Helen asked, stunned. She could only imagined how Nikki felt finding out her parents were not her biological parents._

_"Nope. I couldn't believe my parents would keep something like that from me. It turned out to be like some mystery novel. They left a letter with their attorney. He was supposed to give it to me if anything ever happened to them. I was adopted when I was a week old. They assured me that my birth mother was intelligent, healthy. My biological Mother also left me a nest egg that my parents invested. It did very well in the stock market."_

_"You ain't going to turn out to be some rich snob," Helen playfully said. "Had I known you were made of money, I would have insisted on going to some expensive restaurant." Helen giggled, poking fun at Nikki._

_"I ain't that rich, just very comfortable." Nikki winked at Helen. She really enjoyed watching Helen smile. She had a wonderful smile and a sexy voice to match that smile._

_"I imagine your apartment is much bigger than mine. They don't pay me to get rich, unfortunately. But I get good health coverage and dental." Helen smiled, as she enjoyed playing with Nikki. She was very relaxed in Nikki's company and imagined that she had it easy with the ladies. _

_Nikki giggled at Helen who seemed relaxed. "I don't live in a Penthouse, but, I suppose I've done well. I live in a converted warehouse. I just love the loft feeling. You should come over one day." Nikki winked._

_"Well if you behave yourself, then I just might." Helen flirted back. She didn't understand why she was flirting, except that it felt natural._

_"Normal is boring, I suspect you much rather have me intrigued than well behaved. I'm an onion with many layers." Now it was Nikki's turn to flirt back._

_Helen rolled her eyes. Flirting with Nikki might not be a good idea. She didn't want their working relationship to get weird. In truth, she didn't want to like the feeling she was getting out of it. "I can't imagine you being boring." Helen paused. "So you went searching for your biological mother" She asked changing the subject._

_Nikki frowned. Just when things were getting interesting. "Cliché but true. The more I thought about it, the more I just had to know. While in my last year at University I applied for a job at the local Hospital. The timing was right for women with degrees. In my spare time I tried to track down my biological mother."_

_"Have you had any luck?" Helen asked._

_"There isn't any birth documented records with the exact date and time listed on my birth certificate. I've tracked all the Liverpool births for a week in either direction and can't find any connection that point to me. I'm beginning to think I was born out of state."_

_"This must be really important to you." Helen said, her voice full of understanding. As Nikki discussed her life Helen felt privileged that she trusted her enough to talk about something that was obvious personal. It made her feel good in a way. She felt closer to Nikki. In fact, she was more compelled towards the dark haired woman who was sitting in front of her. Whenever she looked into Nikki's sad brown eyes she felt penetrated and Nikki showed a vulnerable side to her. She knew that dark matters hid behind those dark brown eyes._

_Nikki took the last bite of her salad. "I loved my parents very much. We almost never had a disagreement, even when I came out to them. They couldn't have loved me more or treated me better. No one can ever take their place; they'll always be my real parents. But I need to know who my biological mother was." _

_Before she could go on, Helen got up and cleared the plates. Nikki was a bit put off. She just told Helen that she was gay, well, not in the sense of the word, but what else could she have meant when she told her that her parents didn't care when she came 'out' to them. Why did Helen get up so quickly? Nikki felt disappointed. In fact she couldn't be more wrong. When Helen got up too clear the table she didn't even register Nikki saying the word 'out' since she already knew that Nikki was gay. But once she was in the kitchen getting dessert ready the word hit her and she felt mortified. Nikki probably thinks I'm disgusted by her revelation she thought. She felt stupid._

_When Helen came back with dessert and tea, they settled a shared piece of chocolate mousse pie. "Sorry, I didn't have any other dessert and I seem to only have chocolate mousse pie so I hope you don't mind sharing with me." Helen said, her nerves slightly on edge._

_"That's fine with me Helen. You have been kind enough to feed me."_

_"That's not what you said in the beginning when I didn't offer you food," Helen smirked over at Nikki._

_Nikki laughed. Helen was charming and she could listen to Helen telling stories all day with her Scottish accent. "True enough, but you've slowly won me over with you exquisite Greek salad."_

_"You mocking me Wade," Helen questioned, with a serious look. She was trying to keep a straight face without laughing._

_"No ma'am." Nikki smiled at Helen. "Let's change the subject. You know things that even Karen hasn't pried out of me. Tell me about yourself." She was going to ask Helen if she understood. She figured if she understood and choose to ignore it then she wasn't going to put herself out there. It was silly she thought inwardly._

_Helen didn't know what to say. She felt awkward. She hoped that Nikki would bring it up again, so she played stupid. "Well, there were times when I was desperate to be an only child." Helen said, amused. "It just goes to show you that we're never happy with what we have. I was born in Scotland and always lived there until I moved to London. My dad was a firefighter and my mom was a nurse. We were comfortably middle class with both my parents working a lot of over-time and each of us going to work when we were teenagers." Helen paused as she took a zip of her tea._

_ "You go first," Nikki said, shoving the decadent-looking pie towards her. "I've never known a woman who wouldn't all but kill for a good piece of chocolate."_

_"What a dangerous remark to make to a woman with a gun." Helen smirked. She was finding herself enjoying Nikki's company a little too much._

_"Careful honey," Nikki said, raising her hands. "No offence meant. Just slide it right back over here if I was out of character."_

_"Bollocks," Helen said, pulling the pie towards her. "If you think you're getting the first bite on this, you've got another thing coming." She forked a large piece into her mouth and moaned with delight. _

_Nikki tried a piece. "This is good, but I'll never understand why women are so obsessed with chocolate."_

_Helen snatched the plate back. "I guess that means you won't mind if that's the last bite you get." Her eyes twinkled. "I thought about keeping it to myself but I didn't want to be a pig about it."_

_"How generous of you Helen to share such a delight with me. I think my mouth is getting watery just thinking about it." Nikki teased. She knew Helen was enjoying this as much as she was so she would be brazen. She needed to test her."_

_"I thought you'd be the first to point out the connection between women and chocolate?" Helen said amused._

_"Never understood it. I mean I am a women, but I don't see what the big deal about it. In fact, I hardly even have chocolate. Not big on my list of things to eat. My last relationship was with a chocoholic, and I swear she had to have a piece everyday" as the words casually rolled off her tongue. She really enjoyed playing with Helen. She couldn't remember the last time since she had a flirtatious conversation with another woman who managed to break through her hard exterior shell. Nikki was too stubborn and held her guide high, careful not to let anyone in. Her distrust in people made it difficult to have a lot of friends. She preferred the company of a few trusted friends than many 'what have you done for me lately' friends. As for male friends, Nikki didn't allow herself to trust them. She knew it was wrong but ever since what happened to Trisha that fateful evening, she was weary of people._

_Helen didn't flinch. "That speaks volumes," Helen quipped, carving off another bite. Why did Nikki have such a hold on her in such a short period of time? She was charming, attractive, and downright funny. _

_Was Helen that naïve Nikki thought? She would just have to be upfront about her sexuality. "Did you hear what I just said?"_

_Helen knew that Nikki was trying to be subtle about it but she wanted to play the innocent. She didn't exactly know why but it pleased her to watch Nikki struggle. "Hear what?" Helen said. "You said your previous girlfriend needed chocolate on a daily basis, which sounds like a neurotic to me. Doesn't seem you have good taste in people," Helen laughed teasing Nikki. She would play with Nikki just a little longer._

_"Are you as thick as dense fog?" Nikki implied crudely. She had a feeling that Helen was playing with her and that she probably already guessed that she was gay._

_"If you're making fun of my intelligence then I take offence to your remarks," Helen said grinning, running her fingers through her hair and licking her lips._

_"Do you Helen? Well, I was just getting started," Nikki winked as she leaned closer to Helen. Two can play the game she thought._

_"If you're trying to tell me in a subtle way about your sexual preference then rest assured it doesn't matter to me in the least." Helen said calmly looking straight into Nikki's eyes, looking for a response. For some strange reason, Nikki's eyes looked like liquid puddles of brown chocolate. It glowed against the light. She thought if she stared hard and long enough in them she would become hypnotised. A warm feeling started forming in her stomach._

_Nikki was taken aback by Helen's honesty. She wasn't expecting Helen to be so plainspoken. She was definitely impressed. "Glad to know your sense of humour is applied. I just wanted to be honest with you about who I am and where I was coming from."_

_Helen smiled at Nikki. Her eyes were piercing. "In all honesty, I already knew."_

_"You did, how?" Nikki asked puzzled. Was she that easier read?_

_"A little birdie named Karen Betts told me." Helen laughed, swiping her finger on her nose._

_Nikki giggled and rolled her eyes. "That crow, exposing me before I had the pleasure."_

_Helen laughed with Nikki. "I suspect that she does that to you all the time." _

_"While you finish off the plate, tell me more about yourself." Nikki said. She wanted to hear more about the woman who was making her feel butterflies inside._

_Helen leaned back against her chair. "I always wanted to be an officer, but my parents wanted us to be professionals—lawyers, Doctors, or engineers. My brother met my parents' expectations but me. My parents are retired and still living in Scotland. I'm the oddball of the family you could say."_

_"Why do you think you're odd?" Nikki questioned. Helen seemed so put together and she couldn't image why her parents would be at odds with her. But then she understood how some parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed and become successful. "I guess I can see why they would be scared or apprehension about your choice of career."_

_"As I said, my parents never wanted me to be an officer of the law. They insisted that I get my degree, so I decided to get a degree that I could live with. When I joined the police force, my mother almost keeled over. She was sure I'd be shot dead in days. Then they nearly drove me crazy insisting that I go to law school. They thought the reality of police work would hit me and I'd finally wake up. Much to their amazement, I got my Bachelors of Arts in Criminal Justice and here I am today. I worked my way up through the ranks very quickly. Of course, not everyone was happy about my promotions through-out the years. I found out real quickly, many blokes are egotistic and hate when their superiors are women."_

_"Some men are pigs and parents are like that, as they want the best for their children but in their terms. I know my parents would have been proud in any career I choose." Nikki said. "What brought you up here to London?"_

_Helen looked down at the floor, lost in thought. Nikki was surprised by the sadness in her face. "My brother's death three years ago. Nothing felt the same after that." _

_Nikki placed her hand around Helen's clenched fists and she moved closer, putting the other arm around Helen. "I am so very sorry. It must be painful to bring up memories."_

_"He was the best thing in my life." Helen remarked remembering how close she was with her older brother. They were very close and his death left a huge hole in her heart. _

_Nikki looked at her watch and sighed. "I hate to sound strident, but it's almost nine-thirty." Nikki said, pointing at her watch. "We should go through the case files so I can get a better understanding." _

_Helen nodded in agreement. She was a little disappointed but she knew Nikki was right. It was getting late and there was much to discuss. "Let's start with the case. So far we have four victims and no possible leads. Just a lot of question. Victim one was found six months ago. She was found naked with obvious signs of strangulation. She had been strangled by ligature. __There was ligature marks on her wrists, ankles and neck. When she was turned over, blood oozed from her rectum. She was raped and sodomised. The bruises on her breasts were obvious. She was brutally mutilated as her body was left with many knife wounds. You could say he carved her up good." Helen showed Nikki the crime pictures._

_Nikki was sickened by the brutality of the murder. The pictures showed that the victim suffered enormously. It was evident that she had been in a lot of pain and her death was slow and meticulous. "That sounds like one sick bastard."_

_"Oddly enough, there were two puncture marks on her arm, but no signs of needle tracks to indicate she was drug user. I saw no indication of any disturbance in the foliage nor any sign that the body had been dragged there. The murder occurred somewhere else. Her body was dumped like she was garbage, left to rot and decay in the harsh elements." Helen said, disgusted. _

_"Second victim was found months later. Not sure if they were connected. She was discovered near shallow waters. __She too had five-point marks (ankles, wrists, and neck). There was evidence of rape and sodomy. Her body was brutally mutilated and left to the elements to decay like the first victim. __During the autopsy, the medical examiner noted curious elongated marks on her thighs. It seemed the girl had resisted the rape, and her attacker had pried her legs apart with such force that he left bruises on her thighs that mirrored the shape of his fingers."_

_Nikki gasped. "It just doesn't get easier does it," Nikki replied. She was intrigued yet mortified that a person so evil could commit these murders. It was beginning to sound as if a serial killer was in their mist._

"_In my line of work you see everything. But there are crimes that would even make the harden heart vomit." Helen said, her face showing anger. "Victim three was found on an overgrown side of a hilly area. It was a pretty horrible sight, made all the more grotesque by the decay and army of insects that had taken over the flesh. Again no indication that murder had occurred where the body had been found, nor was there any evidence that the body had been dragged there. There is the probability that more than one killer was involved in dumping her body on the hillside. She too __had five-point marks (ankles, wrists, and neck) and was brutally militated.__" _

"_You think the killer had help?" Nikki said, raising her brow and moving closer to Helen, who was already having difficulty breathing being so close to Nikki._

"_I don't know for sure, but the possibility is there." Helen said, looking at Nikki. She was glad that Nikki was helping her. The case was becoming emotionally draining and having someone who shared the same views was comforting. "The recent victim was found, near a stream behind overgrown brushes. Her maggot-covered body was estimated to have been there some two weeks. She had been strangled like the others and had the same similar patterns and brutality, but it was not certain if she had been raped or sodomised. Still waiting on the autopsy."_

"_It sounds like the killer is getting more brazen. So the only connection right now is that they were all college women?" Nikki asked. She knew someone was killing young girls. Why, she didn't know but she knew that the killer was only starting and that many more bodies would be found._

"_Yup," Helen replied. "It's shite I know. I believe we are dealing with a serial killer, but Superintendent Simon Stubberfield is such a sly bastard. He refuses to believe that there is a possibility or that the three college girls dating back six years ago might be connected. I don't know what his game is." Helen said angrily. She didn't understand why Simon was so rigid in his ways. She thought he needed to retire and hang up his prejudice ways._

"_Old boys network, eh?" Nikki smiled over at Helen. It wasn't easy being a woman in a field dominated by men._

"_You could say that. He's been up my arse from the first day we locked eyes. And it doesn't help that DI Jim Fenner is his favourite pupil. I think he was hoping Jim would be the next DCI but I foiled their plans. Bloody hell, just what I needed, two bleepin' idiots to run me aground." Helen spat. At least she had Dominic on her side._

_Nikki reached out and held Helen's arm as she rubbed it slightly. The touch sent shivers down Helen's shine. Nikki smiled and then said, "Look, clearly they are intimidated by your raw talent and your exquisite beauty. You didn't fancy them for a shag and that is enough to bruise their male egos."_

_Helen could almost feel Nikki's breath on her. "You think I'm exquisite?" Her face became flushed and warm._

_Nikki shook her head. "Helen, you do realise you're gorgeous with a sexy Scottish accent. There's not many who would turn you down." Her stomach was eliciting tiny butterflies, as she wondered how it would feel to kiss Helen. But she knew she had no right to think those things. Helen was straight and engaged._

_Helen was slightly embarrassed. "Well, you ain't half bad yourself." Nikki punched Helen's arm in protest. They both just looked into each other's eyes a little longer before they were in a fit of giggles. Both women not realising the growing feelings they were having. It was all sweet and innocent they would keep telling themselves. Time was not on their side._

_(Hoping to have Chapter 8 up soon. Hope everyone is enjoying my story so far. Expect things to get more complicated, and the subject matter to get intense and dark. Don't be afraid to let me know good or bad what everyone thinks of my story. So enjoy)_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

_"Sod you too Jim." Dominic flicked his thumb back at the house. "They have anything to do with this?"_

_"I don't think so," Helen said, crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall. "So far the bloke's only connection is that his father owns the sixty acre land and that he happened to stumble upon the bodies._

_"I think the bodies are ready to come out," Zandra Plackett said, rubbing her gloved hand up and down her coat sleeves. "We've done the scene photographs and a preliminary assessment of the area around the bodies. I don't think we're going to be able to stay out here much longer. It's getting too dark."_

_"Okay, once we get the bodies bagged, I think we should call off the scene work for tonight. Make sure that everyone is on the same page Dominic. We can't afford another bloody mistake," Helen said feeling defeated with the current situation. "What can you tell me about the bodies?" Helen said looking over towards Zandra, knowing that she wouldn't be getting much information from her._

_"__A bloodied naked body of a young woman was found lying grotesquely. The other body was found forty yards from this body. Both women had been stabbed repeatedly, mutilated and deliberately positioned for maximum shock effect. They appeared to be strangled and raped. __Probably local is my assumption. The bodies looks like it's might have been out here for maybe a weeks, but it'll be hard to be exact because of the cold." Zandra said trying to gage Helen's reaction._ _ "They look like young college girls."_

_Helen's brow furled. "The killer might even be considered sadomasochistic. He will be very meticulous so you probably won't find anything. An autopsy will be needed to determine the official cause and manner of death_."_ She said, her words cracked and sounding frustrated.__"Did you by chance find any ID on the bodies Dominic?" _

_"Nope," Dominic said, shaking her head. "But you never know. We'll have to give it a good comb through. Maybe the killer dumped it in the surrounding area. We'll see better first light."_

_"Why do I get the feeling that we won't find ID or substantial clues?" Helen replied, grinding her teeth. The killer was too smart to be caught, this she knew. She knew the killer was acting bravado, and his actions were unsympathetic and calculated. He had no remorse for taking a life nor did he see these girls as anything more than a derision of God's will to cleanse the Earth. For what reason she did not know. The matter of their deaths suggested a deep rooted hatred toward women, especially young girls. Perhaps they were easy victims. Young, innocent and trusting. She had seen many murders, but these murders of young college girls were hard to swallow. She knew if they didn't stop the monster that hid among the average community, that he would continue killing until he was stopped. Those were the cold hard facts that she had to wrestle with._

_"We can't be certain of that, Helen," Dominic said, trying to sound upbeat. He knew this case was becoming more difficult._

_"This is shite, Dominic. We have two bodies tonight and no more closer to revealing the truth. It's like we're being mocked." Helen said shaking her head. She knew that she had six dead bodies, nothing and no solid connection, but she wasn't going to take any chances. "Same trauma to their bodies and head. Same ligature marks, same style. But why? Why is he killing these women?"_

_Dominic whispered, "You still think this is the work of a serial killer?" Helen was hoping she was wrong but deep inside she knew her instincts were correct. They were dealing with a serial killer. She knew someone or several people were killing young college girls. Their connection, she didn't know yet. But she was determined to find out even if it killed her._

* * *

_(At Nikki's office)_

_He opened with surprising directness. "You think," Mason said as, he looked up, and looked directly at Helen, "that you are so very clever." His voice was deep and callus. He then got up and walked towards the window, and a strange smile played on his dark tensioned face. It was not clear whether his words were addressed to Helen or if he was acting out from people in his lives. "You think," He went on, "that because you bring another psychiatrist to see me, that you're clever but I'm too smart. You think you can transcend all this ugliness around you." _

_"Is that how you see me? Do you think I'm trying to trick your mind, trying to confuse you Mason?" Nikki said in the shadows, in a measured voice. "Do you feel ashamed, inadequate or anxious about our conversation?" There was a slight agitation of sound that fluttered the room. "I'm here to listen to you and ask you questions if I may."_

_"You're trying to trick me," responded Mason, in equally calm tone. "You do not see the obvious. You're not asking the right questions." He pulled at his shirt, his hands nervous, his voice, like a microphone. "I've done no killing, but he won't let it stop. He's always watching, always watching me. Always in my head." He said, his eyes wide with fright. _

_There was no reply. "Tell me Mason, what do the voices say to you?" Nikki said, trying to engage him in an open dialog. "It's understandable that you feel I'm here to harm you."_

_"No you Doctor. You tell me what the voices are saying," Mason said, his voice agitated. He was used to people judging him and having another psychiatric probe him like he was an animal who needed to be confined to the bedpost._

_Nikki thought about it for a moment. She needed to take chances with him even though she knew she hadn't gained his trust but there was something in his voice that spoke to her. Somewhere deep in his soul she felt that he wanted to reach out if only an olive branch was offered. She sensed that his soul was in conflict and she needed to tread the waters carefully. "Okay, the voices speak to you, telling you what you are and what you must do. They want you to physically harm those who fear you, those who do terrible things, but somewhere deep inside is a child who knows that it is wrong to hurt as you've been hurt." spoke Nikki, her voice different, calmer. "You have witnessed terrible things in your young life. You feel alone and the voices betray your thoughts. You think you're evil and cannot be saved, so you lash out."_

_"Yes, Evil. Too many voices, confusing me. But I'm clever. The voices tell me I'm clever, too clever," commented Mason. "Death is the only solution. He's always watching. Waiting for me. I lose perspective so I need to close my eyes, until it passes." _

_"Why do you think you're evil?" Nikki said. "Do you think you deserve punishment? Tell me the symptoms before he commands you."_

_"Don't patronize me, Doctor." His voice irrupted with annoyance. "You think you can medicate me and wash my sins away? You know nothing, he won't stop. He won't stop until they're all dead"_

_Both Nikki and Helen looked at each other. "Why does he want them dead?" Nikki asked, keeping the distance between them._

_"They've been bad. They are society's rejects," Mason said, his expression changed. "Why are you trying to trick me?" Mason was feeling agitated again. "I need to rid this hatred. I don't like what he makes me do. Killing will stop the voices." _

_"Look at me Mason, I'm here to listen to you." Nikki stated. No response. "Mason," Nikki responded. "What do you think will happen if you kill them? Do you think the voices will disappear?"_

_"We're all poisoned, guilty of sins. The blood is on everyone's hands," he mumbled. "Silence is golden."_

_Nikki froze upon hearing the words. Was this a coincidence or was Nikki merely trapped in the past, trying to hold on to the tiny thread that kept her together. She remembered like it was yesterday how Trisha said that one of the blokes told her 'silence is golden'. But Nikki just shook off that notion. It was just a phrase. Many people say it. "Perhaps you're right, Mason. Maybe you should kill them." Nikki said. Helen was gob-smacked. Did she hear right. "Of course that is what you planned, haven't you Mason."_

_He looked stunned. There was a pause. "It is a testament to love," he said at last, as though suddenly discovering modesty. "The blade is sharper than me or you." _

_"But you know right from wrong, don't you Mason." Nikki said, her stance firm. She knew she was pushing the envelope. Yet Nikki understood Mason. She knew his pain. She knew that if she could show Mason that she understood he might just open up to her. "So why not give into the voices in your head. Silence them." _

_"Why are you twisting this around? Don't you see how evil surrounds us? Can't you see him slicing my skin? Stop the pain, cut me, bleeding me." Mason repeated. He observed Nikki with his piercing blue eyes. His guard held high. Nikki wasn't quite sure what Mason meant by it all. She imaged that he was reliving one of his torments. She knew that the knife was a metaphor, an object that reflected his pain. _

_"Okay, then let the blade slice you." Nikki stated. "That is why you came here. A didactic execution." Helen looked at Nikki confused and Nikki sensed it. She wanted to say something but she didn't know what to say. This wasn't her field of expertise; she assumed Nikki knew what she was doing. She wasn't sure where Nikki was going with this line of questioning, but she seemed to be developing a rapport with __Mason. Nikki was sure unconventional, she thought inwardly. _

_"It will teach you nothing," he said, his voice broken. "Don't pretend to care. You're just trying to get into my head, make me crazy."_

_"Is that what you really believe?" Nikki said walking a thin line. Nikki knew that if she said the wrong thing, she could cause him to shut down, but something inside her told her that he wanted to in some small way, release a bit of himself. In a strange twist, Nikki felt that she had met him before. His voice was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. _

_"You speak of me as if I don't understand, but I do. It's a riddle, but only the blind can see its true meaning."_

_"Perhaps you could explain further," suggested Helen, her voice from the dark in a disinterested tone, with a faint Scottish accent on her words. _

_He shrugged. "It makes no difference to me. In my eyes, you are all just nothingness." _

_"Is that why you're suffering alone," Nikki demanded. "Your eyes reveal to me a loneliness. Someone who can't separate real from unreal experience. But that's not entirely true." Nikki looked directly at Mason. "You lack logical reasoning, but your pain is all too real."_

_"I will not argue with you Doctor," he stated. _

_"It's because you cannot argue. You are hiding behind something terrible, frightening. I feel your grief, your despair." Nikki said, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. "You feel betrayed. You lost something terribly important to you. You feel incomplete and you rage against the world."_

_"I cannot grieve. My mind is doing me in. I can't escape this perpetual cycle. I must bleed before this sickness consumes me."_

_"There are medication you can take to control your hallucinations, your psychotic episodes." Nikki said. She wanted to reach out but she knew he wasn't ready. The fire in his eyes were burning, and genuine remorse coming from him. Mason did not sound like a man who would be capable of killing young girls, but a man who lost his way and his sickness was taking over him._

_"No, I don't want to feel numb. She didn't feel numb." Mason screamed as he remembered a memory from his past._

_"Who is she?" Nikki inquired. Who was he referring to? She knew by his statement that she was someone very important to him._

_"They all deserved it. They were dirty. They needed to be punished." Mason eyes were incensed. "No, stop it. Don't touch her…make it stop…don't hurt me." He recoiled like a little child reliving a memory. _

_Nikki looked over at Helen then moved towards Mason. "You're safe here. No one is going to hurt you." Nikki said softly. "How old were you when he raped you?" Nikki said bluntly, she felt she was chipping away at the core, yet she knew he was going to keep running. _

_"Enough!" Mason was waving his hands, slicing the air in a motion. "Enough of talk. I came here to demonstrate your worthlessness to you. Now do not think, or talk, or listen. Watch." Mason then took a shard out from his leg pant. No one imagined what would happen next. Mason drew up the shard in an ancient sacrificial motion, grasping at his neck - the sacrifice. There was a sudden stiffening and tension in the room, as both Helen and Nikki realised all together that this was, of course, reality. _

_"Talk to me, Mason," murmured Nikki in the silence. "It doesn't have to end like this." _

_"Too late for that. I am intent on killing." He flashed a smile at nothing. "And then I may kill all of you. That is my power, the common power. The one you have forgotten." _

_"Demonstration is one thing. Do not be too hasty," Helen said. "If you have something to..," _

_"You know nothing…nothing. You don't know the pain, the guilt, the power." He spat._

_Nikki knew she had to do something. "I know your pain, Mason" Nikki said in a calm voice. "How the blade cuts into your skin, permeating your core until all you see is darkness. An emptiness that constricts your lungs until all you feel is nothingness, meaningless in your life. You feel that no one is listening, that you're invisible. You been hiding in the shadows so long you forgotten that little boy inside you." Nikki said, watching, waiting for Mason's reaction. "Every negative reaction has its consequences, but I genuine believe that you want help. That is why you're here. I might seem like another passing ghost in your life, but I sense your torment. You're longing to come full circle with the past that haunts you. You look for release."_

_"Why are you playing games with me? How can you possibly know?" He shouted at Nikki who was standing close to him._

_"I know the pain of loss. A loss so great that you feel you will drown if you close your eyes. Standing there watching them take her away from you and knowing you didn't stop it. As you hold tightly the guarded secrets that slowly eat away at your heart. It's like a cancer that grows and you don't know how to stop it from spreading through-out your body." Nikki said, remembering Trisha. She felt a lump in her throat as she spoke those words. Her emotions were raw and it felt as if it was only a moment. "You're here because you choose to be. You want the voices in your head to stop. You know her death was not in vain, as the death of your innocence. You couldn't save them. It wasn't your fault she died."_

_Mason's shoulders relaxed, his face softened. He felt defeated. "You feel it too don't you. The darkness. I can see it in your eyes. I saw it the minute we first met. You and me are the equal…we have this connection and I...I'm so very tired."_

_"Yes, Mason. I too couldn't save her. I couldn't save her from the darkness and her blood is stained on my heart. It hurts remembering the day she left me. I know it's not my fault but I can't help feeling I let her down. I didn't do enough to save her. I know you're afraid. I know your illness is consuming you but only you can stop the violence, the killing. Let me help you to heal. Let me get you the proper help."_

_"I can't get it out of my eyes," he said as his eyes grew wide with fear. "Everyone's watching, peering. Madness is enticing. How do I make it stop?" Mason looked at Nikki with pleading eyes._

_"I'm sorry you suffered alone," Nikki said, getting up and moving towards him. "But you can't undo what was done. You can't change the past. All you can do is make things right. Bring closure."_

_"No, stay back," Mason warned. "Please."_

_"Okay," Nikki relied. "Listen Mason, I know you didn't kill those girls. I see it in your eyes. You're not that monster." Nikki stepped closer again. "What you feel is remorse. You have suffered for so long. You lost someone special in your life Mason. I know you lost your innocent long ago and I can't image how that has fucked you up but it's time to let go of the past."_

_At first there was silence. Nikki would try to reach out to Mason in hope that he would surrender the shard. She knew if she could relate to him, maybe he could trust her enough. She knew it wouldn't be a quick remedy, but Nikki believed through time she could break through to him._

_"She was an angel." Mason said, his eyes full of life. "But he dirtied her and made me watch. Then he did the same to me." _

_"How did she die? Who did this to you?" Nikki said trying to sound genuine in her approach. Mason was unstable and she knew she needed to be gentle with him in order to gain his trust._

_"I can't talk about that. It's a secret." He said, sounding like a child. "The fire...how the fire lit her eyes. But I've said too much, too much."_

_"I met an angel once, but left me too soon." Nikki said, her eyes watery. "They took her away from me and there hasn't been a day where she doesn't haunt my dreams. But I know she's here with me."_

_"I had an angel once too. We were cut from the same cloth. But she left me, left me to the despair of this mad world. He made sure of it. But he loves me...he would never leave me." Mason said. "She didn't have to die," he said, his voice full of emotions. "I can't talk about it. It's too difficult."_

_"That's okay Mason. We don't have to talk about it. We can talk about anything you want."_

_Helen watched Nikki talk to Mason. It was fascinating how Nikki operated. She thought that the situation would surely get out of hand, now looking both at Nikki and Mason, she knew that his threats to suicide was real. She wondered how much of Nikki's words were actually true. Something inside told her that whatever she was telling Mason was from experience and not just some made-up story to disarm the situation._

_"It's all my fault, I should be the one dead," he said. And then the shard fell, in a flashing, jerky motion. First there was a terrified face, then there was a shard and a face filled with sadness, then as the shard was release, the face became defeated. Mason fell backwards, his body slumped to the floor, and on his knees he covered his face with his hands. There are moments when time does not move, when the story breaks. They sat and stared and the impetus was lost. "It's all my fault." Mason's voice sounded different: a child now, robbed of any dignity in the moment of horror. "You understand...I know you understand. It's you...it could only be you. Forgive us for what we done. Forgive me for not stopping it." Mason was crying like a child. "Can I be forgiven? Please, tell me if I will be forgiven?" He pleaded with Nikki as she had her hand on his shoulders, comforting him. She did not understand what he meant by asking for forgiveness. She assumed he wanted his soul to be cleansed of the sins and guilt. _

_Nikki looked up and locked eyes with Mason as she took hold of the shard that Mason once held so tightly. "Sometimes we do things that we later regret. First we must forgive ourselves before our sins can be forgiven. We need to find the light at the end of the tunnel and bridge our heart. Fear is what controls us and keeps us from moving forward. You have nothing to be ashamed of because you're different. You don't deserve to be prosecuted. Nothing is ever black and white," Nikki said, understanding it all too clearly. How fragile humans were. How evil humans could be, and yet at the same time show great empathy. Nothing was ever black and white. "Do it for them. Give them their voice back. You know what I'm asking of you. Please help us before more innocent girls die."_

_**(Outside the room)**_

_"Mason didn't kill anyone," Nikki said with a weary and tired voice. She felt emotional spent._

_"Are you sure about this, Nikki," Helen said, wanting to believe Nikki, but she needed more convincing. Maybe she was wrong about Mason. Maybe she was blinded all along._

_"What I saw in that room suggested to me that a person who could commit those crimes could not have been carried out by someone of Mason's mental capability. He shows genuine remorse."_

_"He could be acting, trying to convince us that's he's mentally unstable."_

_"That's what I thought you'd say, Helen," Nikki said smiling. "Trust me, he did not rape and kill those girls. I bet my life on it as I know you feel the same. Those murders were done by a sadistic rapist who has a strong revulsion towards women. But if I'm correct, and this might be a long shot, I believe he was a witness to something horrible. Something unfathomable."_

_"You think so?" Helen sighed, as if the case just became clearer. "So now what? How do we get him to confess what he knows?"_

_"If I'm correct, this person is either family, a friend, a mentor. Mason is so frightened for his own safety that he's not breaking his code of silence. But whatever happened to him when he was a child affected him as an adult. Which is why I think he has the answers. If I could have another session with him then I know I will be able to break through."_

_"That's a least something to go on, right? We need to go back inside and pry it out of him then." Helen suggested._

_"No, Helen," Nikki said firmly. "If we go back we might push Mason too far. He's unstable. Right now I sense he trust me. I feel like we are really close to getting a confession from him. I just need a little more time."_

_"That's just it Nikki," Helen moaned. "I'm thin on time at the moment. As much as I believe in you, I need concrete evidence right now, something to go on. I get an awful feeling about this."_

_Nikki placed her hand on Helen's shoulder. "You have to trust me Helen if we're going to work together."_

_"That's not it, Nikki," Helen replied. Nikki's hand felt warm on her shoulder. "Everything is just shite."_

_"I respect your opinion, but I'm telling you. If we go back into that room and bombard Mason with questions, he will recoil like a snake. Then we will be back to square one."_

_Helen nodded her head. She knew Nikki was probably right. "Okay, Nikki, for you then."_

_"Thanks Helen," Nikki smiled as she continued to look into those hazel/green eyes. "I knew you were a reasonable woman the first day I met you."_

_"Don't press your luck," Helen smacked her teeth together. "You might not get so lucky next round."_

_"You're really sexy when you do that," Nikki teased. She couldn't help herself from flirting. She knew it wasn't the right time or place but at times her words would escape her mouth before she had time to process it. _

_"Am I really?" Helen feigned innocence. Nikki grinned. This was going to be an interesting partnership. But Nikki would have to keep her guard up or she might end up falling in love with Helen Stewart._

* * *

_"Sadie my dear feline friend, one day all this will come to an end." Monica Potter said, underneath the dirty old rag she called a blanket. It had been a week since she last had a decent conversation. She thought of Nikki and wondered what she was doing. Since meeting Nikki, Monica felt different, felt a small pin of hope, but then she was old and tattered. Hope was an elusive word she once enjoyed in her younger days. She had not taken up on Nikki's offer to go to the women's shelter that she talked about. But she still had in her coat pocket Nikki's number. Would she call her? Extend her hand out for help? How Monica dreamed of living a life that she could be proud of. Still, she was alive and in good health. Yet, her stubbornness could get in the way of genuine help. She had travelled so much that she was beginning to tire. It would be nice to be in the company of someone who really cared about her._

_"Sadie, perhaps I misguided my trust," Monica said, her eyes revealing a kind of sadness that you see in a person who has lost her inner soul. "I'm an old tired woman and you're a good friend, in fact, my one true friend." Sadie meowed as if she understood what the old woman was saying. There was an element of sadness in the cat's eyes. "Maybe we should give her a ring. We best be moving along before someone finds us here." She got up, gathered her belongings and sneaked through the cracked door to the outside world. It was a cold November morning, and winter harshest days were yet to come. Another season, another year on the horizon and Monica knew things would change. She sensed it. But whatever she sensed wasn't going to come without a price. She knew danger lay ahead of her. Then she closed her eyes as she had done so many times before and took in cold air into her lungs. She felt a cold chill run up and down her spine. It wasn't the kind of chill a person gets from the cold, on the contrary. Today would be different._

* * *

_All the while she stood there, like a prey, being victimized once more. And who would understand the undertone of his voice. To the outside world, he was just a freak, an accident that no one wanted to claim. But nothing could move the intense hatred beyond the cold steel eyes, nothing to sooth the darkness except the sheer pleasure of taking a life. And what gratification he received watching a last breath leaving a body, longed suffering, with that obscene timidity and self-sufficiency that so coloured his life. And how could she not see it? How, oh how, could it be made any plainer to her? She was just another victim to his cruelty. Her life was in his hands and he could grasp them if he chose, and that was all right, however demented it might seem to others. His young victim did not face the stars as he did or wanted to grasp the intensity. He made excuses for his behaviour, however impossible it might seem. But tonight, this girl was different. The almost __lifeless body that hung reminded him of someone. It moved him to feel something, even when he was sucking out the life in her, stealing her last breath; he was, in a cruel fate, moved by her presence. __He looked at her with crazed eyes, stroking her hair as if a memory was trapped in his throat. How he wanted to hold her and tell her he was sorry. __Usually death excited him but tonight, tonight he would be moved to produce a single tear. _

_And that was when he heard the voice quietly whisper, quite clearly, in the chill and the darkness before she had taken her last breath, `Kill her. Kill the poison that runs through your veins' like the Devil whispering into his ear. And he felt suddenly - not pity or outrage or pain - but as though he was implicated in the attack. He had thought he cared about people, but when it came down to it, he didn't care enough to become engaged in others' pain, to transcend in their suffering in order to dilute it and make it bearable. Instead of stopping, he had laughed uncomprehendingly at pain, and then watched quietly and disinterestedly as it was laid bare for him. And he stood there blankly listening in the darkness howling wind, like a raping of the soul. It was like he could hear their screams. No it was just the shadows that fooled him. But then it struck him, suddenly there in the shadows in which he hid: how easily you could mistake love; the sounds of anger, jealousy, and hate. But they all deserved to die. Their rejection was a sign that they were engaged in impurity. Engaged in acts against nature, against the bible teaching. He was after-all, allocating righteous justice._

_"I thought killing her would bring me pleasure. It wouldn't have been so wrong, after all, would it? An end to her pain: my pain and disappointment." He stood there and thought, very coldly. And you'd have been caught. However right it seemed, you couldn't have expected to get away with…"_

_"But, don't you see? You're invisible. And even if you were caught, well, killing her was the right thing to do." The voice said._

_"But this one's special," he said. "I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to. It was an act of impulse. A false judgment."_

_"She is impure," the voice said. "She needed to die like the rest of them. You are the higher power and she rejected you. She lie with sheep and commits sin. Death is her only redemption." The voice sneered._

_He was horrified. "But I didn't have a choice. She shouldn't have been naughty. She could have been a friend."_

_"She is the devil's pawn. She tried to make you impure. She needed to die." The voice said._

_"No," he cried out in the darkness, his hands covering his face. "Don't you see? It was a choice. Killing was a real option. Not just a thought, a whim, something you dream and never do. It was a plan, with a purpose."_

_"Control yourself," the voice said._

_He shook his head and felt irrational. "I came very close," he said. "I could have stopped. You don't believe me?" He cried into the darkness. And what was he escaping, what was he so afraid of? Not of killing itself - for he felt no horror, and not pity for the life he took, but of the responsibility entailed in destroying another creature. All his life, he had tried to stay uninvolved, to extricate himself from everything, to stop his fingers brushing against evil. But nothing ever made him feel whole._

_"Don't fool yourself," the voice said after a pause. _

_"I could stop this insanity. I think I could." He cried out, as if he had a moment of clarity._

_"You couldn't." The voice repeated._

_"But she was special. She could have been different. I could have stopped." He said._

_"No," the voice, "I don't think you could." He smiled. "You're very good at what you do. The world needs more people like you." The word `good' did not sound like a compliment, not really, but he cringed anyway. A part of him knew what he did could, be consider by others as an evil, monstrous. He looked at his knees, and he could not see her face. The face that once had life, colour, but now that held a blank expression, motionless, empty._

_"You're not evil. You are the messenger of God." the voice assured him._

_"Yes, of course you're right," He said calmly. "I am here to bring justice. Those whores deserved to die. I am ridding the world of impurity." Then just as the voice came it left. And so was the shadow. The voice in him felt triumphant. He had many times fought his demons, the demons that crept up him constantly. It was a part of him he couldn't control. And as each passing day unfurled, so did he. His wife would be waiting for him, just as she did every day. After all, tomorrow would bring another day._

_(Stay tuned for chapter 9. As the story progress, things should become more interesting. Trying to work in my head how I want the story to go as I like to keep things interesting. Feedback is appreciated, as I always like to know how others perceive my story. As always, enjoy.) _


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

_**(At Nikki's office)**_

"_First, please allow me to say that they didn't deserve that kind of violence or any kind of violence of that nature. And what I did to them was brutal and you could say that I was sadistic in their killing. I can't deny what I am and I'm not going to run from the responsibility. I did do it and I have remorse for what I've done to them," Maxine started. "Do you think I'm suffering from schizophrenia?"_

_Nikki looked straight into Maxine eyes and knew she did have remorse for killing her whole family, yet at the same time she enjoyed the act of killing and watching people suffer. Maxine never denied her feelings. She wasn't looking for redemption but with Nikki she could share the darkness in her heart. She felt like they were kindred spirits. Nikki knew that Maxine was in a psychotic state when she murdered her family. She concluded the Maxine was suffering a schizophrenia-linked psychotic episode when she killed and dismembered her family. An exhaustive look at the evidence and Maxine's medical history led Nikki to believe that while she was aware of her actions, she could not differentiate right from wrong at the day of the killings. She also concluded the slaying was planned and deliberate. "My opinion regarding your mental state at the time- is that you were suffering from an acute episode of psychosis," Nikki stated. "You suffered from schizophrenia and on that day, suffered from an acute psychotic break." _

_Maxine continued, "I can't say there was one specific thing that lead me to the killings or if I feel justified in doing so… I don't want to justify the act because you can't justify something like that and I'm not going to even pretend. At times I don't have control over it. I can't explain it except that I sense a change in me. Do you think I should plead insane?"_

"_I can't answer that for you. It's for your lawyer to decide how to address the crown regarding your case. My job is to give them an assessment on your behalf," Nikki said. "I'm here for you, regarding your benefit as a human being."_

"_You have such kind eyes, Nikki," Maxine stated. "You're here to learn from me as well."_

"_Yes," Nikki replied. "If you want. I think we can both learn from each other."_

_Maxine smiled over at Nikki. She leaned back in her chair. "Some say I lack remorse. What do you think?"_

"_I believe you felt remorse after the fact, as I also believe your psychotic break was triggered." Nikki replied eyeing Maxine. She wanted their connection to be built on trust and understanding. Most people would view Maxine Purvis as an evil creature who needed to rot in hell. But Nikki knew that children were not born as killers but that many factors contributed to their lives. "When do you think it all started?"_

_Maxine leaned over her chair smiling over at Nikki. She enjoyed her sessions with Nikki. She admired her beauty and strong convictions even when they clashed against hers. Everyone else made her feel devalued and a sinful monster, but Nikki was different. She never judge her, never made her feel invisible. She felt as if Nikki was a friend, someone who she could learn to trust. "What I can tell you is that at the time, I had no core values towards life. I didn't value life. I didn't value my own life and the way I looked at the world everyone was against me and I didn't trust anyone. I took my anger and frustration and rage out on them and inside internally, my thoughts and feelings, the anger and rage. That is the thing that drove me, the emotions behind it. They were all too stupid and blind to see what I was becoming." Maxine was angry with her father and her older sister, though she could not site a specific incident. In truth, she knew she was different. Watching people suffer excited her and thoughts of harming others were fantasies in her mind. She knew it was only a matter of time before the urge to feed her hunger was greater than the urge to stop. _

"_Did you ever feel you could control yourself? Do you still have the urge to hurt people?" Nikki asked._

"_Nothing could stop my heart from exploding except killing them all. I wanted to make them feel what I felt. I wanted to watch the horror in their faces as I took pleasure from the experience. My mind was no longer in control. The person inside of me was controlling my body and the child Maxine was gone. Her innocence was gone," Maxine said grinning. "And yes, Nikki…I still fight that urge most days except when I'm with you. You calm my soul."_

_At that moment Nikki wanted to hold Maxine, not the killer who slaughtered her entire family, but the young child she was once. Maybe if her life was different, she would not be so out of reach. If her family had shown her the love she needed, if society didn't throw her away, perhaps things would be different. She wondered if she never met Trisha that evening, she would be alive. If they didn't kiss in public she would be still alive. If she wasn't such an idiot, Trisha would still be alive. The many 'what ifs' haunted Nikki. It was never far from her mind._

"_Do you trust me then?" Nikki asked. _

_She wondered if Maxine's mother delivered her (in the postpartum state) as there are at risk for a number of mental-health problems, including postpartum psychosis. She knew that Maxine's mother was a product of domestic violence which might have played a part in her upbringing. Typically children or teens, who have endured more negative life events, or otherwise have little in terms of a support group are at higher risk for developing a psychotic disorder. She knew there were many factors, many collective ideas, whether biological or environmental. Science was still a long way off from fully understanding the human brain._

"_Yes," she replied, smiling but never leaving Nikki's eyes._

"_Shall we continue?" Nikki smiled back. She hoped that these sessions would help Maxine, and in truth, help her in return. She knew Maxine would eventually be released into society or spend her days in the mental ward. She wished a different life for her. It wasn't her job to condemn Maxine for her actions. Such a young life that seemed destined to hell. She would at least prolong her final judgment and try to bring some normalcy back into a young life._

* * *

"_Are we still on this Saturday evening?" Nikki asked sitting down on her sofa. "Aren't you supposed to bring some of your work colleagues?"_

_Karen got up and stretched her legs and made her way towards the loo. "Yeah, a couple of woman at work are curious, you've met some of them. They've never been to a gay club before."_

_When Karen came back from the loo Nikki asked, "Isn't Yvonne daughter supposed to be coming up to visit as well?"_

"_Yeah, she mentioned that her Lauren wanted to come for a visit. It seems like there's trouble brewing in her marriage. Lately she never seems happy, but then I don't remember her ever being happy after she had Lauren." Karen said sadly. She had a long history with Yvonne. They first met during middle school and became friends, and remained friends through-out the years. Karen was one of her only friends back in school when Yvonne became pregnant at fourteen. Yvonne was always such a rebel. Always going against the norm which, unfortunately landed her in trouble and in many fights. She understood why she was attracted to Charlie Atkins. He was bad news and to Yvonne, he was a way out of her troubled family life. Of course, she was no fool. She knew that Charlie Atkins was a crime boss and his business dealings were shady, but she never gave Yvonne flack for it. It wasn't for her to judge. _

"_Did she say anything to you?" Nikki asked wondering what sort of troubles she had. "You've known her for a long time." _

"_Yeah, we had some really crazy fun times, before she got married to Charlie and moved around England." Karen said smiling, reminiscing about old childhood days with Yvonne. To her, Yvonne seemed to have lost some of her dispassion and colourful humour that she enjoyed when they were younger._

_Nikki shook her head laughing inwardly. "I remember you were such a bad influence on her daughter, when I first met Lauren when she came home for a visit." _

_Karen tried to play innocent, "Who me, nah, her daughter just needed to get out of her square box that she was hiding in, is still hiding in." _

"_I just think she's under a lot of pressure to succeed." Nikki replied as she stretched her legs. "She seems a little troubled. And Yvonne can be very scary as a mother. So I'm guessing that Lauren is struggling to find her way. She's young and trying to figure out what she wants to do in life. At least that's what I got out of it the last time I saw her."_

"_That's really a shame thought," Karen said. Remembering an argument Yvonne had with her daughter. "I know 'Von means well, but she can be bull-headed and close minded at times. She thinks the world of Lauren, but she can be too hard on her. She needs to let her be."_

"_Well, I suppose if she dyed her hair green, and started wearing black combat boots," Nikki said, "I'll know who to blame when Yvonne comes knocking." She giggled and made a face at Karen who looked at Nikki with a sigh look._

"_Not me," Karen said, shaking her head. "Besides, the young girls these days dress more like little hookers. Clothes seems to be optional."_

"_Did you think they'd be wearing mink and beaver," Nikki giggled out-loud, amused in her thoughts. But Karen was right, kids these days were different. They all walked around with their mobile texting. What happened to old fashioned conversation, without the mention of technology?_

_Just then phone rang. "Aren't you going to answer it, Nikki?" Karen said looking over at her as she joined Nikki on the sofa holding onto her wine glass and handing Nikki the other._

_Nikki didn't feel much like answering her phone, so she decided to let the answering machine deal with it. "Just leave it for the machine. If it's really important, then they will leave a message." Nikki said as she took the wine glass from Karen. She enjoyed moments like these. Hanging out in her loft and drinking wine and eating cheese. She enjoyed being at home with a good read, or the company of Karen and watching an old black and white movie than going to a club or bar. After a few rings, the machine came on, 'Hi, I'm not in at the moment…." _

"_Hello, Nikki, it's Helen, I just wanted to give you a ring, but…."_

_Nikki made a dash to the phone, slightly out of breath, "Hello, Helen." Karen looked over at Nikki giving her a judgmental nod. First she didn't want to answer the phone, but upon hearing Helen's voice, she rushed like a wild bull, over to the phone. How typical she thought to herself. _

"_Hi Nikki, I hope I'm not disturbing you." Helen said in a low whisper. She didn't know why she was calling Nikki but to hear her voice. It was disturbing but comforting at the same time._

"_No, not at all, Helen," Nikki said still trying to calm her breathing. "How are you doing?"_

_Helen blushed. She felt shy and was all too happy that Nikki couldn't see her face at the moment. "The usual, everything is shite but nothing a bottle of wine can't erase."_

"_So right you are sweetheart." Shite, Nikki cursed silently. Of all the things to say, she had to say that._

_Karen got up and motioned for Nikki that she was going to go into Nikki's library. She didn't feel like hearing Nikki slobber over Helen. _

'_Sweetheart'. No one has ever called her that. It was endearing but she knew that Nikki meant nothing of it. She was just being sweet. "Are you always this sweet to everyone?" Helen asked._

"_Yup, it's my nature to soothe the souls of others," Nikki giggled over the phone, yet sounding a little embarrassed. "So, Helen, how can I help you?" _

_Helen laughed inwardly, knowing that Nikki was probably just being herself. "We should meet up with Mason again." She replied hoping that Nikki would not sense that she really had no reason to call except to hear her voice. In truth, she was feeling a little lonely and depressed about her life. The murder investigation was draining her as well as Sean and his antics. When she was with Nikki, she felt more at ease, more herself and she liked not feeling boxed in. And she really enjoyed Nikki's comically sense of humour and witty comments. She enjoyed having that kind of friendship with Nikki. _

_Nikki wanted to say 'you're sexy voice is a turn-on'. She really did, and her brain even sent the signal to her mouth, but what came out was, "You're right." Nikki said trying not to sound too eager. "Hopefully we can break through him and break this case wide open."_

"_If the saints would only hear my cries," Helen exclaimed, breathing heavy into her phone. "Why don't I drop by your office tomorrow and we can go through some things."_

"_If you're not busy, come after lunch." Nikki said, wondering why she was getting butterflies in her stomach. Helen was with Sean Parr, and planning to get married and settle down. Nikki could only be her friend, and even if they had a romantic relationship by some miracle, Helen would never get serious about it, well, at least that's what she told herself over and over again. She wanted a normal relationship with a woman, and Helen could never offer her that, could she? Helen was after-all, straight and not interested. Nikki wrestled with her many demons. _

_There was a bit of hesitation on both part, not quite knowing what to say. "How are you really doing Helen?" Nikki finally broke the silence._

"_I'm fine at the moment," She lied. "But tomorrow, who knows." Helen said dryly._

"_And Sean," Nikki cringed. Why did Helen have to be straight? Why did she always fall for the wrong women? _

"_He's busy. It seems like we spend less time together, lately." Helen said wondering why the hell she just said that._

_Nikki was a little shocked at first. "Well, I'm sure things will change once you get married." Nikki felt nauseous. She thought Helen was making a big mistake if she got married, but she was being impractical. She just didn't seem happy with Sean, but she had no right to think that. It wasn't Helen's fault that she was attracted to her. Friendship was all that Helen could offer and that would have to be enough. Having her as a friend was more important than nothing._

"_Yes, I suppose your right, Nikki." Helen replied, wondering if it was all that easy. Did she really love Sean? Was he the one she was supposed to marry? Why did she have doubts? Why did it linger in her heart, her head? It was doing her in just thinking about it "Do you mind if I bring a friend along then to the club this Saturday? I'm sure Karen won't mind."_

"_No, I don't mind. The more the merrier. I suppose your friend doesn't mind going to a gay club?" Nikki said apprehensive._

_Helen gave out a voluntary sigh, "You don't have to worry about that Nikki," She said a bit put out. "She also happens to be gay."_

_Nikki felt stupid for saying it, but how was she to know. "I'm sorry Helen, if I sounded a bit too forward, I didn't mean to offend you." Bollocks, Nikki, cursed inwardly. Perhaps it was better if she didn't say anything more to further annoy Helen. _

"_And does Sean know you're going to a gay club as well?" Nikki said, before regretting asking her that question._

_There was a pause. Helen was further annoyed with Nikki's question. She didn't want to give Nikki an answer. "That doesn't concern you." Was all that she said, feeling defeated._

"_Sorry, I meant no harm," Nikki replied. Nikki felt startled, but tried not to let it affect her. "You sound a little worn out and I guess I am a little worried about your state of mind. I mean…you sound, I er…depressed…or something. Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying. I must have mouth diarrhea."_

"_Nikki, please don't get melodramatic on me," Helen pleaded. She was tired and Nikki was making her feel even lonelier at the moment. She knew it wasn't Nikki's fault, she was trying to be friendly. She just needed a calming bath to forget her troubles._

"_Maybe I should let you go," Nikki said feeling frustrated with herself. She didn't mean to make Helen sad, but Helen's voice sounded despondent and she wanted to help. She thought Helen could use a good shoulder to cry on. She also knew the case was affecting her in a tiresome way._

"_I'm so sorry Nikki" Helen said, breathing into the phone and feeling embarrassed. "You didn't say anything wrong. I'm stressed at the moment, but hanks for listening. I will see you tomorrow. Goodnight." Helen then closed her mobile._

"_Goodnight," Nikki said, putting down her phone and heading into her library where she found Karen looking through her collection._

"_Nikki?" Karen said feeling like she overheard a personal conversation. _

_Mentally shaking herself, Nikki turned to Karen, who was looking at her with concern. "Yes Karen."_

"_Don't __'__yes me'," __Karen __said, "I know that look in your eyes when you're salivating over a particular someone."_

"_I'm not salivating. Don't be a twat Karen," Nikki said ignoring Karen's comments. "I see her only as I work colleague so don't get fickle with me."_

_Karen shook her head. I don't believe for one second that you're being honest Nikki, she mentally told herself. "Don't kid yourself, so don't feed me one of your lines, because I ain't having none of it."_

_Nikki cocked her head back. "What the bloody hell are you getting at?"_

_Karen gave Nikki a knowing look. "Look Nikki," she stated. "Helen is a beautiful woman and no one can blame you if you happen to find her attractive." _

"_Not interested remember. I don't do straight." Nikki said loudly. "I'm only being friendly as we are working together and as you mentioned before, nothing wrong with making a friend."_

"_I hope you're being honest with yourself," Karen replied. In truth, both Nikki and Helen made a lovely couple. They were both headstrong and passionate. If only she thought to herself. She made a mental note that she would talk to Yvonne about Nikki and Helen. They would find a way to get those two together. At least they would try._

* * *

_"What the hell do you think you're doing dragging me in here like this? I tried to avoid that bitch but she was all over the sodding road," Huge Piper yelled as they walked in._

_"Watch your language," Dominic said, reminding him that he wasn't impressed with his sort of language. "Sit your arse down on that chair."_

_"Sod you, and sod that bitch Detective you got with you, too," he yelled back, as Helen stood against the wall un-amused by his colourful choice of words._

_Dominic reached across the table and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him up off his chair. "I'm not going to tell you again, Huge, watch your language." Helen was impressed with Dominic. Usually he was laid back, but today he seemed feisty._

_"Hurry the fuck up," he fiddled with a fag he'd crushed in the ashtray. "I got things to do."_

_"Yeah, we know," Helen, replied, mocking him. "Do you remember her name?"_

_"Got a light?" Huge asked, putting a fresh fag between his cracked lips. Dominic slipped out and came back with a book of matches. He lit his cigarette._

_"Now tell me about Roisin O'Connor." Helen said impatient._

_"Shite, I don't remember any whore by that name," he said, taking a drag from his fag and blowing smoke in Dominic's direction. He waved it away without comment._

_"You attended the same college and she went missing six years ago. Do you remember now?" Helen asked, her voice full of contempt. Huge Piper began coughing and almost fell out of his chair. "Do you remember being questioned about her disappearance?" Helen said, wasting no time._

_"Shite, you're still looking for that dyke bitch?" he asked loudly. "Wasn't some bloke suspected of killing her? I thought that case was closed years ago."_

_"You thought wrong. Besides that's none of your business. What do you mean by dyke bitch?" Helen inquired._

_"What do you think I mean?" Huge said, a smug look on his face. "I went over this shite years ago with some incompetent Detectives."_

_"Are you saying that Roisin O'Connor was a lesbian?" Dominic said, shaking his head._

_Huge looked over at Helen and said, "Is he always this dense?"_

_His hand reached out to touch Helen's hair. She grabbed it and slammed it hard down on the table. "Keep your hands to yourself and no funny business or you won't be too keen on me breaking them."_

_"I'll bet you're a cock teaser. Probably a carpet muncher yourself," then Huge looked over towards Dominic. "You shagging her mate? I bet she's got you hard up." Dominic got up, an angry expression washed over his face. "What? You do fancy her mate," he said, flipping his head in Helen's direction as he coughed up a wad of yellow phlegm and spit it on the floor. "That's why you're so touchy with her around?"_

_Helen left to get a box of tissues. When she got back, Huge was sitting quietly at the table and Dominic looked like he was ready to explode. She wondered what had transpired between them._

_"I'm going to ask you one more time. What do you remember about Roisin O'Connor?" Helen asked, her voice, barely controlled. "And cut the bull-crap while you're at it."_

_"I already told you, I don't know nothing about that dyke," he yelled. "I might have taken her out once. It was six years back, and I can't remember all the details. She was suck a cock teaser, wouldn't let me touch her. I knew she had to be one of those dem lesbo lovers."_

_"Did you see her during school? We're you friends." Helen inquired._

_"One time, then the bitch wouldn't see me anymore. She had this mate that she always hung around with. They did everything together. Lesbo bitches. I guess I was too much man for her. You could probably handle me," Huge said, eyeing Helen. He grabbed his crouch and leered towards Helen, sneering._

_Helen yelled for Dominic to take him to back to his cell. "She must have reject him, so in his eyes she was a lesbian," Helen said, writing in a small notebook. "Still, I think we should look this theory up. Maybe we're missing something. None of the notes dating back six years mentioned anything about her being a lesbian." Helen wondered if all avenues were explored back then. She knew that the investigation was handled poorly and there was so many fuck-ups to fill a jar. Bollocks!_

_"You're not serious Helen. The bloke's a joke. He'd say anything for attention. Probably been burn by women too often," Dominic spat. "Look, I know you think highly of Nikki Wade, but isn't it a possibility she could be wrong about Mason? What if he did rape and kill those girls?"_

_"Listen," Helen said, rather irritated at Dominic naivety. "As much as I think he's probably wasting our time, I still think we should check up on this. As for Nikki, I trust her judgment. Can't explain it really," Helen said, thinking about the dark haired woman she was beginning to admire. "Right now, we don't know who killed those College girls, or if these recent murders are connected, but I intend to get to the bottom of it. So sniff around, go back and interview those who were involved with the case. Anything. We're missing something."_

_"Sure, Helen." Dominic said, reluctantly. He fancied her and he knew she was an excellent DCI. If anybody can solve this case, he knew she could._

* * *

_Damn, he didn't need any dogs giving his location away. No more waiting, this was it. Even if she wasn't fully awake, it really would not matter that much. At least everyone else would know that she had been raped. Their pain would have to be enough. He began to pull away some more of her remaining clothes, than shuttered as he again heard the growling become deeper and longer. Cautiously looking down, he saw two glowing eyes directly at him. Her blank stare almost frightened him. He reached into his pocket again, and grabbed at the syringe as the beast pounced on him. There was not even time to utter a scream as she flew backwards onto the ground. The needle was completely submerged into her arm. She lay motionless as the moon overhead glowed brightly on her expression frozen in horror. He was overcome by the thrill. _

_"Get her up and bring her to the table," he said to his companion. Tonight they would perform their ritual. The thought thrilled him as he motioned for his companion to bring the tools. He would keep her alive longer, long enough to put the fear of God in her eyes. After-all, they were doings what others couldn't do. Bring justice and order. _

_**(Sometime later in the night)**_

_"How did your sweatshirt get all bloody?" She asked, holding it out at him._

_He looked up in surprise. He had an attractive face with even features that seemed to light up from within when he smiled. Brown coloured hair fell across his forehead. His brown eyes focused on something just past her shoulders. "I cut myself," he replied and held up his hand._

_"All that blood from one little cut?"_

_He shrugged his shoulders as he ignored her, choosing rather to engage in his earlier thoughts. "It was a deep cut."_

_"Why didn't you say something about it?" she persisted irritably. He was out late again and she hated when he was coy with her. She worried that he might be having an affair, but she never sniffed another woman scent on him and sex was always satisfying._

_"I just did," her husband replied, "I had a flat and was trying to fix it. It was before I arrived home and you were already in bed. I didn't see the point in waking you up."_

_"Couldn't you have washed the shirt out? Or at the very least put it in the sink to soak?"_

_He shrugged again. "I didn't think of it," he told her. "What's the big deal? I knew you were doing laundry today." She sighed and took the shirt to the sink in the utility room. She filled the basin with fresh water, and added a good measure of bleach. If the bloodstains had not yet had time to settle, she thought, there was a chance they might come out. _

* * *

_"What do we have here?" Helen asked Dominic._

_"Female victim and it looks like she was strangled and possibly raped." Dominic said._

_Helen sighed. Another victim, and no closer in solving these random killings and it troubled her. She wasn't even certain if it was the same person, but all the signs pointed to a serial killer. "I want the surrounding area closed to the public. Whoever this bastard is, he thinks he's clever enough."_

_Nikki walked over towards Dominic. "You're not stopping the passing traffic?"_

_"I don't see the relevance. Stopping traffic and finding someone who might have seen something last night is pretty remote." Dominic said in return._

_Nikki took a deep breath. "Not for the witness, for the killer," Nikki insisted. "Whoever killed her clearly wanted you to find the body. They need to know you have. You question the traffic you might just question the killer. At the very least someone who might have seen something."_

_"Shite," Helen said. She knew Nikki was right, a minor oversight on her part. "Jim, over here." Helen waved for him to come over. "I want you to stop anyone who might look suspicious. See what they might have seen, anything. Leave no stone unturned."_

_"Why can't Dominic do that," Jim complained. He didn't like Helen using her authority and knew that she was trying to get on his nerves._

_"Listen Jim, I don't have time to play mind games with you, so just do it. That's an order" Helen said forcefully. She didn't like having Jim Fenner in her department, but he was Stubberfield's favourite, so she really didn't have a choice. But she would bring him a peg or two down every chance she got._

_Nikki examined the body closely. She could tell that she was quite beautiful. In fact, her facial features reminded her of Trisha. They both had blonde hair. Something familiar about this victim that reminded her of Trisha and it troubled her. As she examined the body further, something about this killing was different and she knew why. "This victim is special." Nikki said, observing the area. A car passed slowly as the driver watched carefully, smiling. _

_"Why is that, Nikki," Helen asked as she walked towards her wondering what Nikki was seeing._

_"Well, the other victims were all naked, but not this victim." Nikki stepped closer to the body. "He cared for this victim. He gave her the special treatment. He knew this victim or this victim reminded him of someone he really loved."_

_"How can you be so certain?" Dominic asked wondering how the hell Nikki could deduce that idea with little evidence in front on them. _

_"From the information I've gathered, the previous victims all had trauma to their head and bodies, and riddled with multiple stabbings. They were left naked and exposed to the elements as a reminder of what he thought of them. But this one is fully clothed and judging by her appearance she has only been here a day or two. He wanted her to be found quickly. She meant something to him." _

_"We don't know if this is the same person," Dominic interjected. "Nothing suggest that this killing is even connected to the others. It doesn't fit the profile" _

_Helen knew Nikki was probably right. She just didn't have all the facts, and even if she did, she certainly didn't know why._

_"This is definitely the work of a serial killer, in fact maybe two killers. Once you connect the dotted lines you will see these victims all have something in common. But this victim, I believe was killed by only one of the killers." Nikki stated. "The evidence will point to her being raped and sodomised. In fact, I believe she was raped post-mortem."_

_"What makes you certain," Dominic said, not sure if he believed Nikki. How did she come to that conclusion? How was she able to sense things that he couldn't begin to fathom? He didn't want to feel jealous but Nikki Wade was really something special and he didn't like the way she looked at Helen. He had no right of course, but he felt there was a connection between them. It wasn't as though he didn't like Nikki. She was very kind towards him, but he couldn't shake the jealous feeling he had and it troubled him. "It doesn't sound plausible." He remarked._

_"We know she was strangled to death. Those stab wounds I'm guessing came after she was dead. She was special and he cared for her body even after she was dead. He wanted her to be found, in a sick twisted way, he could only rape her when she was dead. And he did not want the elements to feed off her body." Nikki stated. "I can't tell you why I know this, except that I'm trying to get inside his mind. Think like how he would think."_

_Helen was staggered by Nikki's observation skills. She had a sickened feeling that Nikki was onto something more sinister. She was going to need more than just a miracle. "Bloody brilliant Nikki. You are astonishing that I can't believe you are not a DCI yourself. Now all we need to do is find a connection." Helen said, knowing that whatever lay ahead was going to be difficult. _

* * *

_"Serial killer." Simon said. "You sure about this?" _

_"Right now we're not sure why. Nikki doesn't believe these are random killings. The manner of the deaths, suggest not just a great deal of planning, but also deeply held resentment." Helen said._

_"What do you think?" Simon said, turning his attention towards Dominic and Jim. _

_"I don't see the connection sir," Jim pleaded. He thought Helen was way over her head with these murders. "Nikki Wade is not qualified to give a proper assignment." The last thing he wanted was for Nikki to be right. He knew she was very good at what she did and he didn't want her making them look like fools who couldn't do their jobs correctly especially since she wasn't even in the crime division._

_"Nikki has been a tremendous help to us so far, and her background gives us an edge._ _She has been able to determine that there might be two killers in our mist and I am confident with her help we will be able to stop whomever is killing these girls." Helen said adamantly. What a bloody idiot she thought to herself. She couldn't believe how ignorant Jim was being. Was he that insecure that he had to put others down? "We believe there's a link between these bodies." Helen replied. She knew Simon wasn't going to like the outcome regardless of her opinion. "And yes, we're dealing with a diabolic serial killer."_

_"Did you see the press today? Crass incompetence. Evidential failures. Procedural unjust." Simon said angrily as he looked at Helen._

_"I wasn't here when this first happened." Helen shot back. "All we can do is what we have before us."_

_"No, I was, so I don't want another installments of bad policing." Simon said. Helen twinge inside. If he paid more attention to the outside world, maybe he wouldn't be such an arse. "Right, let's deal with this properly everyone. This case takes top priority."_

_Karen smiled over at Yvonne as she walked towards her. Yvonne was in a foul mood all day long and she overheard Yvonne chastising another nurse about her incompetence. Thank God it was Friday as Karen welcomed the weekend. She was excited about going to the club with the gals and also wanted to distance herself from Jim. Lately he was being clingy and self-absorbing and she hated that quality in a person. Sex was still great but conversation with him was practically monotonous. All Jim ever wanted was to lie in bed all day and mope like a whiner. Maybe she was finally seeing his true nature. She didn't know, but she couldn't shake the feeling that he was being unfaithful to her. She was no fool as she too heard about all the rumours that made the rounds in the hospital. Why did she always seem to pick the wrong blokes? She was thirty-four going on thirty-five and she still couldn't find the right person to settle down with. Maybe she was asking for too much. Maybe her standards were too high. The strongest bond she had with a person so far in her life was Yvonne. She was the only person who truly knew her inside and out. Why couldn't she find a bloke who had Yvonne's personality? And when she thought about the happiest times in her life, Yvonne was always in those memories. She was lucky she had a best mate like her. Now, if only Yvonne was a bloke. I'd be all over her, I mean him, Karen thought to herself as she laughed about her predicament. _

_Yvonne looked up at Karen and saw a strange smile appear on her face. "Something funny?" She asked._

_Karen coughed, then smiled again shaking her head. "What cows have been eating your brain?"_

_"I'll give you my backside if you continue mocking me." Yvonne quipped, still annoyed with the nurse who left in a hurry once Karen approached them._

_"Seem like you need a shag to release all that tension that's building up like a canon ready to explode." Karen said, grinning. She would at least try to get Yvonne laughing._

_"I'd be lucky if I get a quick feel," Yvonne spat. "Not much action going on in my bed these days. It's doing my head in."_

_Karen was shocked. Why has Yvonne not been honest with her about her troubles? She knew Yvonne was a very private person, but they shared all their secrets, well…most of them. She knew that something was troubling her to keep it all inside. It was not like her to be so closed off. "Really, why is that?"_

_"Charlie's been away on business trips. I hardly see him. It doesn't help that I think he might be cheating on me, although can't be certain." She said, leaning against Karen as if she needed support._

_"Come here you daft cow," Karen pulled Yvonne into a hug and held her very tightly. "No reason for you to keep all your demons inside. You're my best mate and you shouldn't keep things from me."_

_"I don't want to seem a bother to you and besides, that bloody Jim Fenner is always tagging along." Yvonne said, with all the venom in her words._

_Karen lifted Yvonne's chin up and looked into her clear eyes. "Listen, maybe I've given him too much credit. I'm trying to cool it off with him. He's been getting on my tits lately." She ran her fingers along Yvonne's face. "How about you come round to my flat and we can take in an old Steve McQueen movie and gossip like mad sixteen year olds. You need cheering up and I need loads of alcohol."_

_"Karen," Yvonne said breathing into her face as they were mere inches apart. It was almost like she could feel Karen's heartbeat. _

_"Yes," Karen smiled, still holding onto Yvonne._

_"You're in my personal space," she giggled. "Everyone here at the hospital will think we are lovers by the way you are holding me." Yvonne didn't mind being comforted as Karen was the type that liked to be touchy feely, but she felts like eyes were on her and she didn't like it._

_"Forget about the fools," Karen said, before distancing herself from Yvonne. They were best mates. Why should she care what people thought. "Let me start a rumour then. It can't be worst that the Jim/Michelle rumours floating about."_

_Yvonne darted her eyes at Karen. "So you've finally come to your senses."_

_Karen put her arm around Yvonne then said, "We'll start a new rumour. We'll have their tails wagging about me and you shagging in the board room, like a couple of sex-craved lesbians." Karen winked at Yvonne. "Fancy a shag?" Karen said jokingly._

_Yvonne let a crude laugh, "How much alcohol do I need to consume to get myself into your bed?" Then leaning over, "Then again, I'd like nothing more than to see the expression on Jim's face if we did shag." Both of them started to laugh as they made a scene._

_Yvonne looked up at one of the nurse who was staring at them and said, "What the hell are you looking at? Don't you have somewhere to be?" She had harshly._

_"This is the Yvonne Atkins I like. The happy go lucky one." Karen smiled and nodded her head. "Don't ever lose that smile babe."_

_"Nah, I could never as long as you are in my life. You'd probably try shock therapy on me if you could." She said._

_"Don't be daft." Karen rolled her eyes, pouting. "Best mates forever then." _

_Yvonne replied "Damn right forever," Yvonne smiled. "You'd have to kill me first or if someone offered me ten million pounds. _

_Karen punched Yvonne's arm. "You wish." _


	10. Chapter 10

(Here is chapter 10. As the story progress things will become more interesting. So I hope everyone is enjoying my story so far. I know it's dark but I hope my story has kept the readers interested so far. Let me know what you think.)

_**Chapter 10**_

_"Hello, I'm DCI Helen Stewart and this is DI Dominic McAllister," She said. "Could we have a word with you?"_

_"All right, what's going on?" he demanded as soon as they were through the front door. _

_"I'm afraid we have some bad news," replied Helen. "I didn't think it was something you wanted to discuss over the phone."_

_Mrs. Blood gasped. "Is it Daniella?" she whispered. "Did something happen to her."_

_"Why would you think that, Mrs. Blood?" Dominic asked._

_"Because," she replied, darting a look at her husband, "she didn't call past Monday when we came back from our holiday vacation. She always calls us so it was strange that we didn't hear from her, but we assumed she was busy with school work. She attends a Private College and lives on campus so we only see her over the weekends."_

_"Do you know where she was, Mrs. Blood?" Helen asked. Judging by the Blood's house, they were rich. _

_"She usually locks herself in her dorm studying or spends time with her girlfriend," Mr. Fisher answered for his wife. "Of course, she doesn't always tells us everything."_

_"Girlfriend?" Dominic replied quickly._

_"Yes, her girlfriend, well don't stand so shocked." he said. "Enough about the questions. Please tell us what this is all about?"_

_Helen cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry," she said gently. "There's no easy way to say this…your daughter was found dead a week ago."_

_Mrs. Blood began to wail, an eerie sort of sound that rose to an unearthly shriek as she stared first at her husband then at the Dominic, and finally at Helen. "Daniella's…dead? I think you're mistaken. She could not be?"_

_Mr. Blood assisted his wife into the nearest chair. "What do you mean she's dead? How?" He then demanded, turning on Helen, his face ashen. "How do you know she's dead?"_

_"I'm sorry. I know this must be a shock, but her body was identified yesterday," Helen told him. _

_"Found?" He repeated, not comprehending. "What are you talking about?"_

_"Her body was discovered down by the river, off a dirt road." Dominic said carefully. "She was raped and strangled to death."_

_"Of course, we don't know all the circumstances yet," Helen, added. "We're still going through all the evidence."_

_"Strangled?" Mr. Blood said slowly, as though it was a word with which he was unfamiliar. with He stared at Helen. "You mean it wasn't some kind of accident? You're saying that someone actually…murdered our daughter? Why would anybody want to hurt our baby?"_

_Helen nodded in agreement. "I'm afraid so, Mr. Blood" she murmured. "I'm really sorry that this had to happen, but these are the facts." _

_The starch seemed to drain from Mr. Fisher's body. He clutched at the high back of his wife's chair to keep himself upright. "How could this have happened?" he managed to cry. "Why?"_

_"We don't know yet," Dominic said with a leaden sigh. _

_"But we intend to find out," Helen declared. "I am sorry to ask this, but did your daughter know someone by the name, Shaz Wiley?"_

_"Why yes of course," Mr. Blood stated. "That's her girlfriend. They attend the same school. Does she have something to do with this?"_

_Dominic and Helen looked at each other before she turned her attention to Mr. Blood. "I'm sorry, but Shaz Wiley body was found the same area as your daughter." Helen knew that they were killed the same time which meant there had to be two killers involved._

_Mrs. Blood fell to the ground crying widely as her husband went over to comfort her. "We're they killed together?"_

_"Sorry, I am not liberated to say. But I will need you to sign some papers." Was all that Helen could mustered. She knew it was a parent's worst nightmare finding out your loved one was murdered._

_"What kind of papers?"_

_"For the autopsy." Helen replied trying not to sound insensitive._

_He gave Helen an agonised look. "Autopsy? He chafed. "I don't want an autopsy performed on her. I don't want some stranger cutting up my little girl. This is immoral." He glanced down at his wife. "Are you trying to kill us in the process?"_

_"I'm afraid it's necessary, sir," Helen told him. "An autopsy is essential to our investigation. Whether we like it or not, a crime has been committed. In order to find out who did this awful thing, we have to be allowed to collect every possible piece of evidence."_

_"I can appreciate your position, Miss Stewart," he replied, "but I refuse to sign any papers that will disfigure my daughter."_

_"Well, the thing is, you see, we don't really need your permission," Helen said kindly but firmly. "Signing the papers is just a formality. In homicide cases, an autopsy is mandatory."_

_Mr. Blood face froze in anguish. "Then go ahead and do whatever it is you have to do," came the abrupt reply. "Obviously, I don't have any say. It's funny how the killer gets more rights than victims." Helen could sympathize with Mr. Blood. She couldn't image how it would feel to have someone knock on your door and completely change your world._

_"I want to see my baby," Mrs. Blood wailed suddenly. "Take me to see my baby. Maybe it isn't_

_Daniella. Maybe you've made a horrible mistake."_

_Helen felt shaken. This part of the job was the one thing she hated. Having to tell someone that a loved one was dead, worst murdered. She sighed heavily. "I understand how shaken you are, but I promise we are going to do everything in our power to find the killer."_

_"When can we see the body," Mr. Blood spoke calmly, giving in to the realisation that his daughter was murdered._

_"If you like I can arrange for someone to take you there now." Helen said, trying to bring some small comfort. __"I have to warn you though, her body took an awful beating and you might not even recognise her."_

_Mr. Blood sighed heavily then said, "Thank you for your concern. Will you please keep us inform? Promise me that you and your department will do everything in your power to bring justice to our beloved daughter."_

_Helen nodded. "Of course, sir. I promise you we will catch the killer and bring you closure. I will keep you updated and you can call me anytime." Helen said, handing him her business card._

_"Thank you," Mr. Blood said holding onto his wife and wondering how he was going to go on with his life. _

_Helen watched the grieving parents of Daniella Blood and wondered how she would have reacted if it was her daughter. She felt sick and disgusted that she couldn't stop the killings. How do you explain to someone that a serial killer is out there hunting, preying and murdering innocent girls? The sad reality hit her like a ton of bricks. Crime and murder were part of her daily routine. She lost count of the bodies she had encountered, probed, and dissected. It was all too familiar. This was the part of her job that she detested. _

* * *

_Helen willed herself to relax into the distant and began thinking about how horrible it must have been to die like that. She wondered if the dead girls knew they were going to die before they were violated. Did they know who killed them? Did they cry out for help? She wondered what caused their deaths. How long did they suffer? Did someone betray them? Someone they loved? Someone they trusted? These were all questions Helen couldn't answer. Questions that lingered in her mind. _

_"I've looked through the files. I can't find a connection." Dominic said._

_"Well then go look over them again. Right I want every part thoroughly investigated. No stones unturned. Go back over the statements. Something connects these killings. Find out if these girls were lesbians. We know Daniella Blood and Shaz Wiley were was gay and possibly Roisin. And while you're at it, find out if these girls all went to a Private College. Check to see if they all come from money. There's a chain of evidence that will lead us to them. We just need the first link." Helen said, clearly frustrated at the lack of evidence. She hoped that the crime lab would get back to her soon. She needed answers._

_"I know exactly the type of person who's doing this. The organised killer. This type of killer is the most difficult to identify and capture. They are usually highly intelligent and well organised to the point of being meticulous. Every detail of the crime is planned out, and the killer takes every precaution to make sure they leave no incriminating evidence behind. This killer believes that no one is listening to him. The murders are his way to say to the police that he is in charge and he will decide who lives or dies." Nikki said. _

_"Go on, Nikki." Helen said curious._

_"White male, early to mid-thirty. He'd be a product of discipline and most likely abused by his father. Father figure could have been an authority type. His profession suggest he works in a prison system or in law enforcement. He would likely suffer from obsessive disorder, neat, gem freak. He'd be convinced in his own views of right and wrong. He believes he is an arbitrator of justice." Nikki said. "These young girls represent sexual abnormalities that he believes is immoral. A sense of cleansing the world from impurity." _

_"How can you be so certain," Jim sneered at Nikki. "What, it takes a dyke to know a dyke?" Jim couldn't believe that Nikki was working with them. He knew that she didn't like him dating Karen. What pissed him off more was her brush off with him. She was a babe, and yet he couldn't believe someone as gorgeous as Nikki was a lesbian. _

_"Well maybe I don't like your plumbing, Jim. And unlike you, I have the background for this kind of behaviours. But if you have a better description of our killer, than by all means, do tell us what you think you stupid twit." Nikki spat. What a sodding git she thought. _

_Jim just shrugged his shoulders. "I was just asking. You don't need to be such a cunt."_

_"Well if you weren't so busy putting your snout into others peoples business, then maybe you would get things done, Jim." Helen said, mocking Jim lack of knowledge. "Why don't you just piss off and do something worth value?"_

_"Look, our killer has a problem with rejection from women. Somewhere along the line he was rejected by someone he loved and now he kills these girls as a way to justify his killings." Nikki stated. "I don't believe he acts alone." She said still annoyed with Jim. "__Our killer was probably humiliated often – and when his father meted out discipline, it was unfair, unpredictable, destructive and wicked. Even when a child is merely neglected, huge developmental failures can occur. The child will become desensitized; he will begin to believe that this emotionally barren world that surrounds it is something normal – and so he will grow up devoid of empathy for others."_

_"Helen, Crystal is on line two," Dominic said handing her the phone._

_Helen hoped that Crystal had good news for them. "You're on the speaker, Crystal. Give us a quick overview of your findings," She said, all business like._

_"Well hello to you too Helen. I think it is best you come over. You're going to want to see this."_

_Okay, I'll be there in an hour, bye." Helen said. "Right, Jim, I need you go over to Mason's house. I told him I'd be sending an officer to watch over him until I get there. Nikki we should talk to Mason tonight." Nikki nodded in agreement._

_"What! When are we babysitting killers?" Jim said, annoyed._

_Helen rolled her eyes. "Listen, I don't care what you think. He's been complaining about being harassed, so all I need you to do is to watch him until I give you further instructions. Can you handle a simple thing like that?"_

_Jim didn't like Helen having superiority over him, and he even hated it more that she happened to be a woman who spurred his advances. He didn't like it but he had no choice. "Fine, ma'am." Jim said shuffling papers. "Jesus, I can hardly read the notes I just took," he grumbled. _

_Useless twit she thought. Why did he insist on being here? He was no use to her, yet he made no attempt to get out of her way. He was all too familiar with knowing that one slip on her part and he would be the lead investigator. "Dominic, go over the files again, take Lorna Rose with you. Let me know what you find." Helen said. "Nikki and I will be heading to the crime lab."_

* * *

_**(At the crime lab)**_

_"What's even more interesting is that all the girls have the same injury patterns. When I examined their skulls I found the victims had depressed skull fractures of the right frontal and right parietal areas. For the medical terminology challenged, that's the right front and side of the head." _

_Nikki looked up at Crystal Gordon with a knowing look. "You got it Nikki. Our killer, is probably a lefty." Crystal said._

_"Obviously, all victims were brutally raped and sodomised, so it might suggest a pattern, although latest victim did not suffer the same outcome." Crystal Gordon said. _

_"Nikki believes that the latest victim was probably someone he knew or reminded him of someone he loved, which would explain why he didn't viciously cut her up and leave her naked and exposed to rot in the elements."_

_Crystal nodded her head. "She was raped and sodomised, but," Crystal said. "It was done after she was dead. And the wounds were also done after she was dead."_

_"Rape Post-Mortem. Christ, Nikki. You were so spot on about that one?" Helen said smiling at Nikki._

_"It was really just a feeling I had." Nikki said, downplaying her assessment. She didn't understand why she knew it except that she felt like she understood the killer's motives. She allowed her mind to think like a killer._

_"The skull fractures were very depressed. The lab concluded that the victims did not die from the fractures. Most likely all tortured before strangulation. The injuries on victim #5 and #6 were all blunt and brutal. No penetrating wounds. They were hit with something very hard: crowbar, bat, perhaps a heavy piece of lumber wood. According to the bruising around the wounds and the state of the fractures, they probably would have died hours after the hit if not for them being strangled to death. Looks like victim #4 was moved. She was on her back for a while and then dumped on her stomach, but the fracture patterns look very much the same."_

_"So both victim #5 and #6 were especially brutalised. Their killings were overkill as if he had something against them because they were brutally sodomised with a sharp object. The sick bastard wanted to optimise their suffering." Helen said looking at Crystal and remembering Daniella Blood and Shaz Wiley. She knew they suffered beyond comprehension. She wondered if their killings had anything to do with them being gay. "Is our latest victim fingerprints out yet?" Helen asked._

_"Yes, but don't be surprised if that turns up nothing. How many college girls do you know who've been fingerprinted? I'll have the office fax you a summary of this as soon as it's transcribed."_

_"Thank you Crystal. You've been a blessing." Helen said._

_"Wait, there's more and you're going to like this. After close examination of the latest victim, I found something lodge down her throat. When I removed it I realised it was a piece of parchment." _

_Nikki and Helen looked at each other. "So, the killer is sending us a message. Trying to tell us something." Helen said out-loud._

_"On a hunch, I decided to re-examine victims #5 and #6 too. Too my horror they too had parchment lodge down their throat. You need to see this." Crystal showed Helen and Nikki the pieces of parchment with a magnifying glass. Both women looked at each other in disbelief. Helen felt her blood turn cold and Nikki sighed. She didn't want to be right, but she knew that she was on the right path. She was glad she came on board but frightened about the discovery. _

_"The first is from our latest victim." Crystal said. __**'Revelation 21:4: He will wipe tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the order of things has passed away…'**_

_"These two are from victim #5 and #6." Crystal pointed._

_Helen and Nikki carefully read once more. 'Note one: '__**Leviticus 20:13: If man lies with man as one lies with woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own hands…'**_

_Note two: Corinthians 6:9-10: '__**Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders…'**_

_"This is shite Nikki," Helen said breathing heavy. "The press is going to have a field day." Nikki gave her a knowing look. "Could this day get any better?" Helen gathered the evidence and she knew she needed to brief the team about the latest findings. She would wait until she got her bearings. _

_"What do you think Nikki," Helen said, driving out of the parking lot._

_"Our killer has a deep resentment towards women, especially women whom he perceive homosexual or perverse. I believe this is our connection." Nikki stated._

_"Well, judging by those parchments he shoved so lovingly down their throats, I'd say he's the antagonistic killer." Helen spat. How she wished for quieter days._

_"Well, from what's been gathered, the killings were done by the same person or persons. Obviously the first two bodies found were probably done in the same time span then our killer went on a short hiatus. Why that is, obviously is something we need to find out?"_

_"But why the killing now? Are those killings connected to the rape and murder of the three college girls six years prior?" Helen brow showed worry. "But they don't seem to be connected on the surface."_

_"I really don't believe they are separate. I believe our killer or killers were in the same college or used to go to the same college. I think our killer started off raping, then probably accidentally killed the first girl, then it led to the other killings." Nikki said looking at Helen. She looked beautiful with a puzzlement look on her face. _

_"Why are you looking at me strangely? Do I have something on my face?" Helen said, embarrassed._

_"No," Nikki said, turning away. "I was just looking at your expression. You seemed stump." Nikki lied. She couldn't tell Helen that she was thinking of something entirely different. Yes, she found Helen Stewart attractive, but she was engaged and straight she kept telling herself. _

_"Oh," Helen said, surprised. It wasn't exactly what she expected to hear. In truth, she really didn't know what to make of her growing feelings for Nikki. It was really all just friendly. Nikki was different. It wasn't something she could explain. _

_"I believe the killings progressed that is why they have changed slightly the method of killing. It is similar yet different. These recent killings have a purpose. Our killers are trying to tell us something. They need to feel as if they have the power. That is why the bodies are turning up. They want those bodies to be found. They want us to play a cat and mouse game with them." Nikki explained._

_"I can't believe we never connected these killings." Helen felt frustrated. Then Helen's mobile went off. "Bloody hell. Christ Jim can't you do anything right. I'm on my way." From the look that Helen gave Nikki, she knew it wasn't a good sign._

* * *

_Helen gave Jim the 'don't mess with me' look. "Where's the body?"_

_"Upstairs bedroom." Jim replied coldly._

_"Who found him first?" Helen said disgusted. She did not know how much more she could take._

_"I did," Jim said, again with the snide tone._

_Helen looked at Jim with an angry expression, leaning in, crowding him. "Jim, didn't I give you a direct order earlier specifying that I wanted you to watch him closely. Never leave his sight."_

_"Yes Helen, I know, but I just left his side for a minute," he said, visibly resisting the urge to step back._

_"A minute you say, well then can you explain why there is a dead body upstairs since you were supposed to be on guard?" Helen said. "Bloody hell Jim. Do you know what this means?"_

_"Don't point fingers at me," Jim said, releasing that Helen wasn't going to let him off easy. "How did I know he was going to kill himself?"_

_"If you used that gob of yours less often then maybe you wouldn't find yourself in these situations." Helen frowned, suspicious of Jim. She took another small step into Jim's space. "Jim, are you always such a sodding prick or is today special? How many fuck-ups can you produce in a day?"_

_Jim's face coloured, his features growing taut. This bitch was making a fool of him in front of the others. "What is the big deal? He's a killer and probably got what he deserved. He did us a favour by offing himself."_

_"Keep your comments to yourself, if you don't want to find yourself in an embarrassing situation," Helen ordered. "Mason Waters was a human being and don't be so quick to judgement, so show some respect for the dead."_

_Jim pressed his lips together and took a step back, eyes cold. "Yes ma'am."_

_"I don't want anyone else coming in here unless they've got orders from me. Got that, Jim?" Helen spat angrily._

_"Yes of course," Jim said, sneering. _

_"I want the whereabouts of every officer, and the times they walked in the door and walked back out. Can you manage that or do you need a six year old to hold your hand?" Helen said. She was enjoying making Jim sweat. Nikki laughed inwardly. She liked Helen taking control. Of course, they had bigger issues. Like who killed Mason and why?_

_"I think I can handle that, Helen," Jim said before walking away. He knew he cocked up._

_"I don't think Jim likes when you gives orders to him," Nikki whispered contentedly as they left Jim at the door and headed toward the steps._

_"Yeah, well sod him" Helen glanced up at a smiling Nikki. "I don't suppose Mason killed himself." She said._

_"Murder is what I had in mind," Nikki conceded. Helen knew that something wasn't right. She knew Mason suffered from mental problems and she thought Nikki was getting through to him. "Now he's dead and so are the answers we seek." A sense of dread built in her chest as they climbed the stairs. _

_"Yeah I suspect the same thing, Nikki." Helen said, sighing heavily. Just when we were so close. "The killer is always two steps ahead."_

_"I've got a bad feeling about this, Helen," Nikki muttered. "I believe the killer knew we were close to cracking Mason armour." Nikki looked over at Helen who looked disgusted. "Or maybe I'm having a heart attack. That will be my luck. I finally quit smoking and I have a heart attack."_

_Helen smiled. "Well, don't die at the scene," She quipped. "The paperwork would be a big pain in the arse."_

_"You're full of sympathy." Nikki pouted as she attempt to slap Helen's arm._

_"Glad to see you've finally come to your senses and quit smoking." Helen smiled._

_Nikki grinned. "Yeah, I got tired of the hacking and coughing."_

_Mason body hung from a rope just a few feet beyond the four-posted bed. The rope looped over a ceiling fan. The bed was neatly made, hadn't been slept in or even sat upon. Helen noted these things in the back of her mind, her concentration on the victim. _

_Mason face was discoloured, distorted, purple and bloated, the mouth frozen in horror. The eyes were half-open and cloudy. He had to have been there a while. The body was nude. His arms hung at his sides, hands curled into fists held slightly forward of the hips. The feet, no more than a few inches off the floor, were swollen and deep purple as well. Helen squatted down, took hold of an ankle. The leg was cold to the touch. An oak-framed full-length mirror was propped against the wall some ten feet in front of the corpse. The body was reflected fully, the reflection distorted by the angle of the mirror. The word 'Sorry, I killed them.' had been written on the glass with something dark._

_"Looks like he finally met his match," one of the officers said._

_Helen looked at the two officers standing five feet away, smirking at the mirror. "Listen here," She snapped. "Why are you hovering around at my death scene when you know shite? Trampling all over the place making snide comments."_

_"Ma'am it's your classical suicide," the taller one said, as if that mattered. "He even left a note."_

_Helen felt her face flush. "Don't tell me what you think. You don't know shite. Maybe when you're not so wet behind the ears you'll have a right to an opinion. Get the hell out of my space. Go downstairs and secure the zone. I don't want anyone coming closer than the street. And keep your big gob shut," Helen said, pointing to the reflection in the mirror, "You got me?" _

_The officers glanced at each other sullenly then headed for the stairs. "A killer rats off himself," the taller one said under his breath. "So what's the crime? Looks like a service to everyone if you ask me."_

_Helen stared at Mason body. She could see Nikki snooping around making notes of every detail, sketching the room, the placement of the furniture and of anything that might be deemed significant. She stared at the room itself, then, slowly moved in on the body, photographing it from all angels. Each flash burned an imprint on her memory. 'Sorry, I killed them'. Yes, it was. Had Mason been sorry? Or had someone else scrawled the words on the mirror?_

_"I never understand people who get naked to commit suicide," Dominic said looking over at Mason's body._

_"It's symbolic, shedding their earthly skin." Nikki injected. _

_"Nobody is finding me naked." Dominic replied, then turning towards the door._

_"Maybe he didn't commit suicide," Nikki said looking over at Dominic who was stood at the doorway and giving her a puzzled look._

_"You think someone could have done this to him? Or forced him to do it? Murder by hanging is rare?" Dominic said._

_"What's with the mirror?" Helen asked, though it wasn't a question to Nikki. _

_Nikki studied the naked corpse for a moment then looked at the mirror, catching a slice of her own reflection with that of Mason. She thought she was getting through to him, now the questions that needed answering lie in the dead and buried deep within him: coincidence or planned death? Either way, Mason was dead and so was any hope connecting the college murders to the current murders. _

_"But why leave a message?" Nikki wondered aloud. "Sorry suggest suicide. Why would he write that if he was offing himself? It seems to straight forward. Something doesn't add up. Mason did not kill himself, that's a given."_

_Helen moved her hand to the top of her throbbing head and winced. "You know, some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed."_

_"Yeah, well...here's your reason for living," Dominic said, nodding to the body._

_"It doesn't seem much of the way of comfort. I always figure a bad day living beats any day dead." Nikki said._

_"Sod me then," Helen frowned. _

_Nikki squatted down in front of the mirror to examine the letters more closely. She looked at Helen's reflection. Helen looked tired. Nikki rose slowly, and touched her arm, looking up at her with earnest brown eyes. Helen felt a warm sensation. It felt nice. Both women stood there for a few seconds before Nikki let go. "I'm sorry Mason. I let you down. I should've done more."_

_Helen stared at Nikki for a moment, stared at her hand briefly considered taking hold of it. Just for the comfort with another human. No, she wanted to feel that warm sensation she felt when Nikki touched her arm. She knew she was out of her mind, but something inside controlled her. But the wiser Helen got the better of herself before, she whispered, "It's not your fault Nikki. No one saw this coming. If Mason was murdered we will find out, I can promise you that." Nikki smiled weakly. She needed to unwind, anything to get her mind off of Mason and Helen. _

_Suicide, accident, tragedy! The word murder seem to hold merit, yet most are willing to write it off as such. After all, Mason was better off dead, wasn't he? Helen was sure that most of the officers in here thought that. Is it really murder if dictated by necessity, if accompanied by remorse? Sorry..._

_There is a sense of unease from knowing other people are now aware, even though they don't suspect. As if strangers are invading what should have remained private. If Mason was killed then the intimacy of death had been shared by two people, not one. The aftermath would be a public event, a spectacle. That somehow cheapened the experience. _

_As Helen looked at the photograph of Mason, the last spark of life dying in the half-opened eyes. The expression seems to take on an accusatory quality. Sorry..._

_The photograph, cradled in one hand, is raised to the lips, the image of the death mask kissed. Sorry..._

_But even as the apology is offered, wound there be any justice? Would one life change anything? Helen didn't believe so. Yet the word 'Sorry,' remained. Something oddly about that word that has been used a thousand times before. Helen knew it held the key. She pulled out her cell phone, and gave the examiner on the scene the location of the body. As she put back her phone, she looked out the window at the star filled sky. The sky was made up of the many colours that would soon blend together to make the deep darkness of night. There was very little of a moon tonight, but she did not need the moon's light to see._

_Looking up at his body, she was surprised to find that she felt no hatred for this supposed killer. It was done. It is stunning how quickly it happened. How little time it takes to go from trouble to tragedy. Mere seconds without air and the brain begins to shut down. No time to struggle. No time to panic even. Like a boa constrictor choking the life from its prey, the noose tightens and tightens. It makes no difference what thoughts explode in the brain. The commands don't make it down the neutral pathways to the muscles of the arms. Coordination is gone. The seconds stretch as the death dance continues. A minute, two, four! The most acute, exquisite split second of life: the final heartbeat before death. And then it is over. The flash explodes in a brilliant burst of white light and the scene is frozen in time. __Helen__ tried not to think about it as she focussed on Mason. If Mason's death was truly a suicide, then why leave a note on the mirror and a suicide letter? Was the killer trying to erase Mason's memory or to protect himself? What knowledge did Mason possess? Helen hated not knowing the answers to her mounting questions. But she knew that the killer was clever. He was playing games with them. What was his angle? Why was he always two steps ahead?_

* * *

_"Well, look what we found," one of the hooligans said. He smiled. "Thought you got away from us old lady. Don't have anyone around to protect you now."_

_"Please, don't hurt me. I haven't anything of value," Monica said, before a mouth covered hers._

_"You're not getting away this time," the other hooligan said, grinning. _

_Monica knew that she was in trouble. She did not know what these hooligans wanted but she recognised the cold demeanour that were coming from their eyes. She closed her eyes wishing the young woman named Nikki Wade would come to her rescue but she knew this was not to be. She sensed danger ahead and knew that today would be different. No amount of prayers were going to help her as she pleaded for penitence._


	11. Chapter 11

_(__So_ I finally posted chapter 11 as things start to get crazy as Christmas approaches. I'm probably going to be busy getting ready for the holidays but don't worry, I will still try to post another chapter or two before xmas. I hope everyone is still enjoying the story as Nikki and Helen storyline gets heated and some things are a little revealed...I left the darker side of the story from this chapter...but don't worry...it's never far. So enjoy everyone)

_**Chapter 11**_

_"Maybe you need to look at it in a wider angle. Perhaps the killer sent letters. Did you get a lot of abusive mail?" Sean said._

_"Yes we did. A lot of people send us all sorts of stuff. Sean, I could use some sympathy here. It's just that I'm living this all for the moment. Does that make any sense?"_

_"Of course, darling." Sean said, "Here, let me massage your tense muscles."_

_"I was going to include personal space. Why the hell are you here anyways? I told you I just wanted to relax alone." Helen said before hearing her mobile phone go off. "Helen Stewart."_

_"How are you, Helen?" Nikki said, her voice sounded tired._

_"Well, I was just relaxing actually. It's been a hell of a day so far."_

_"Oh really. I was just going through the case evidence. Something doesn't add up."_

_"Do you need me to come over?" Helen said, quickly. She didn't know why but she wanted, no, needed to see Nikki tonight._

_"Well, I don't want to interrupt what you were doing, but I'll leave that up to you." Nikki said with a slight hesitation in her voice._

_"I'll be there shortly okay, Nikki." Helen said hanging up the phone._

_Sean looked at Helen clearly annoyed with her. She always seems to run away when things get a bit heavy. "Why the sudden rush?" Sean said, his voice full of disappointment. "Who's Nikki?"_

_"Listen, I will explain everything later, but right now this case is too important to me." Helen said, clearly not interested in Sean's childish antics. _

_"I guess your case or should I say cases are always more important than me." Sean frowned in disgust._

_Helen rolled her eyes at him. "Listen, you know what I'm about, I hid nothing from you, but if you're always going to complain then maybe it was a mistake agreeing to marry you."_

_"Don't be so rash, Helen. I was just making a statement." Sean said annoyed. He thought he was losing Helen and he didn't understand why. She was so cold lately and it seemed to him that she did not want him around. Was she having second thoughts about getting married in thought to himself? He wondered if she was somehow cheating on him. He did trust her but lately she did not want him around and they haven't had sex in two weeks. He knew she was under a lot of pressure from work and she seemed always tired but was that just smoke and mirror? His jealous nature started bubbling inside him._

_"Not now, I need to get ready. Please be patient with me." Helen said, getting up from the couch and getting her coat. "Perhaps it's best that you're not here when I come back." Sean looked surprised and lowered his head in anger. He couldn't understand why Helen held her guard up. He tried to get into her skin but always found a wall in wait. He did not know what else he could do to get through her. It made him feel sick inside._

* * *

_**(Back at Nikki's flat)**_

_Nikki heard a knock at her door and opened it to find Helen looking amused. "Jesus Nikki, your loft is bigger than the Queen's palace." Helen smiled at Nikki taking in her beauty. "Some modest living you say. I feel like a poor minion next to you."_

_Nikki laughed giving Helen a gentle squeeze on her arm then rubbing it slowly. "This is nothing compared to where I grew up."_

_Helen coughed. "Where can I subscribe? I could get used to this kind of living." She smiled. "When you mentioned you lived in warehouse converted into a loft, I didn't realise you meant the whole bleepin' warehouse." She said biting her lip. "Not made of money you say," she glanced up and rolled her eyes not believing a word Nikki said about her not being well off but comfortable. Clearly Nikki was more than comfortable. She didn't dare ask how many zeros were in Nikki's bank account as it didn't matter. One thing she knew for sure, Nikki did not like lavishing her wealth around like most rich snobs. She never met anyone as companionate and earnest as Nikki and it made her want to know more about the dark haired beauty. Helen smiled inwardly. Nikki was really beautiful inside and out. Her admiration for the dark haired beauty was beginning to invade her every cell. "By all means, share your wealth and make me your Queen." Helen giggled._

_Nikki gave Helen a warm smile as her eyes glistened and her heart skipped a beat. "I have plenty of room if you ever want to stay over, and tell stories all night." Nikki said, looking at Helen for a reaction. Helen blushed. "Sometimes it gets lonely being alone in a big space like this."_

_Helen winked at Nikki. She was really happy that she called. She wanted to get away from Sean. She knew she made a grave error in agreeing to marry him. She always knew that she enjoyed being with Nikki a little too much. She just wanted to be Nikki's friend, nothing more she told herself. "If you ever get lonely, just give me a ring. I'm up all hours." Helen said smiling at Nikki. Once again Nikki managed to look even more beautiful with faded blue jeans and a white faded shirt that revealed her tan skin. She had to mentally shake herself from drooling. _

_Nikki wanted to say 'I'd like nothing more than to take you to my bedroom'. Helen was looking tired but her eyes always captivated her. If she didn't know better, she was beginning to fall in love with Helen Stewart. But she needed to brush that aside. Nothing good ever came from dating a straight or bi-curious woman. Nothing!_

_"Would you like something to drink, eat?" Nikki asked._

_"Tea would be lovely," Helen replied as she made her way to the comfy looking couch. _

_"Have a look around, as I get the tea ready." Nikki said as she proceeded into the kitchen and brewed a pot of tea as Helen looked around Nikki's loft. It was neat and judging by the amount of books there were, Nikki loved to read. The place was warm and inviting, not messy and untidy as Helen kept her place. There were a lot of paintings and themed black and white pictures, and she liked the industrial feel of the loft with a lot of steam-punk and antique themed items. They all looked expensive, especially the orb chandelier and Victorian globe pendant. Helen was fascinated with Nikki's miniature clocks. It was evident that Nikki liked to collect items as a hobby. She had a lot of antique phones, type-writers, and __Brass items like a brass hourglass what was simply beautiful. She was almost afraid to touch them._

_Nikki made her way back and handed Helen a cuppa. "Thanks," Helen said as she took the cup of tea from Nikki. "I just love your Victorian stuff. Must've cost you a mint. And I was almost tempted to steal your antique brass hourglass. I don't know how much it cost you but it's gorgeous." Helen said running her fingers through her hair. _

_"Well, I need to spend my money on something. I love old antiques, steam-punk items. I just love old antiquity." Nikki smiled. "But I'm glad I've made an impression on you." She made a mental note to go searching for a brass hourglass for Helen. _

_"I could stay here admiring your stuff forever," Helen said, drifting. Losing herself in the many wonders that lit her eyes. She could see herself falling into Nikki's charm. Why was Nikki making her feel alive? Was she really attracted to another woman? She shook her head trying to forget those crazy notions._

_"I could stare at your face forever too," Nikki whispered, barely audible _

_Helen turned her head towards Nikki. "What did you say?"_

_"I said, maybe we should talk about the case." Nikki lied. She didn't want Helen to know that her presence was making her feel warm, in fact, sensual. Maybe she was just feeling lonely. It had been a while since she was physical with another woman. Before she ward off women, Nikki was always looking for a shag, and many a shag she had which left her feeling empty inside. She wanted to be in a committed relationship._

_"You still believe there's two killers." Helen said, as she sat next to Nikki on the large comfy couch. "Is that possible? _

_"Well, when two people kill they feed off each other. We'd see more of an escalation with each successive death, but here there's minor escalation. With each death as well, we'd see an exploration of two different people." Nikki stated. She was pleased that Helen decided to come. _

_"Some kind of foreplay." Helen joked._

_"Well not in that sense. Sort of each person teasing the other to go further." Nikki said._

_Helen looked at Nikki, "And you don't sense that here?"_

_"Here there's repression. Our killers lives in a definite set of parameters. Dominate and subservient relationship."_

_Helen looked up, "Dominance and submissive?"_

_Nikki smiled. "That's what makes the world go round, Helen. It's present in every relationship."_

_Helen brow furled, "Every relationship, eh?"_

_"In certain degrees. Take for example, you and your lawyer fiancé. One will be dominate, while the other submissive." Nikki said, as a matter of fact._

_Helen grinned, sensing Nikki was heading somewhere with her description. "Which am I?"_

_Nikki smiled, then slowly ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh, definitely dominant. I suspect that you control your relationships even though it may not seem like it. You don't like to show your true self so you need to control all aspect of your life, probably due to the relationship with your father."_

_"But you don't know that for sure." Helen stated, watching Nikki move closer._

_"No, but the manner of your denial just confirmed it." Nikki toiled. She knew Helen would object but she looked so cute acting like a child._

_Helen pouted. "Okay, Nikki. What about us?" Their faces getting closer – inches apart._

_"You and me?" Nikki asked. What would she say? Would she toil some more or give Helen a break?_

_"Yeah, you said every relationship." Helen stood firm waiting for Nikki to answer. In a way, she was curious to what Nikki would say._

_Nikki squinted her eyes, measuring the moments before speaking. "That's a tough one to dissect."_

_"That's why I ask." Helen replied. "What's the matter, can't figure that one?"_

_"Don't know. But I suppose if I should examine it closely, I'd say neither. Both guarded, quietly fighting the other for submission."_

_Helen thought for a moment, "Good thing we're not a couple."_

_Nikki blushed. "Yeah, or I suspect heads would be rolling." Both women laughed at each other. "Although, I think together we could be a perfect match. What I mean, is that we would compliment each other if you know what I mean." _

_It was a nice feeling that Helen was enjoying. In truth, she enjoyed the company of Nikki over Sean. He was too clingy. Why she felt that way was another story that she didn't have time or energy to dissect. The truth would have to wait. "You think so Nikki." Helen looked into Nikki's deep brown eyes. "You really think we'd be a good match together?"_

_Nikki looked away for a moment. She didn't want Helen to see desire coming from her eyes. "Maybe," she said shyly. "Will we have a lot in common and we both are so very clever." Nikki grinned, flirting slightly._

_"Yes we are," Helen replied seductively. She could feel her heartbeat race faster. Why did it race fast every time Nikki was near? Why did she get that warm feeling every time Nikki touched her? "You really have a cute grin when you smile." Helen said before she realised what she was saying. She blushed quickly._

_Nikki smiled as she ran her fingers through her hair, bending her head slightly towards Helen. "Do you realise you have beautiful eyes, and a sexy Scottish voice." Nikki was pouring on her charm. She could at least flirt with Helen if nothing more._

_"What, this little voice of mine?" Helen replied, smiling. She knew Nikki was flirting but didn't stop her. She enjoyed it. "How 'bout you," Helen raised her brow. "You have this calming, relaxing English accent." She laughed. "I bet you could read me to sleep with your soothing voice."_

_Nikki smiled and moved even closer. "I guess you'd just have to find out. I have a very large comfy bed as a matter of fact." Nikki winked. "We could enjoy some hot cocoa over roasted marshmallows by the fireplace. Definitely marshmallows. The jumbo kind." Nikki laughed._

_Helen suppressed a smile then couldn't help herself from giggling out-loud. "Sorry Nikki, but I just had a vision of you wearing Spice Girls knickers on a bed full of marshmallows dancing to wannabe."_

_Nikki pinched Helen on the arm. "Oi, you silly bird. At least that beats wearing an old frock and dancing to a Tony Bennett oldie."_

_"Are you saying I'm an old boring chamber maid?" Helen sneered at Nikki as she continued laughing. "And I don't recall mentioning I'm wearing knickers at the moment."_

_"You dark horse. Shall I check to make sure you ain't pulling a fast one over me?" Nikki enquired. Removing Helen's clothes would be her pleasure._

_Helen stopped laughing and breathed, "You needing bother, really." She couldn't believe how much fun she was having and didn't want it to stop. "You just need to trust me." _

_"Shant I Helen, shant I," Nikki said seductively. "It would be my pleasure to perform a strip search on you. That is if you don't mind my cold hands on you." _

_Helen saw the playful look in Nikki's eyes and knew Nikki wasn't joking. "Perhaps if you got me drunk and I ran a fever." She replied, grinning at Nikki. "Have you never been interested in men?"_

_"No, not my flavour." Nikki looked over at Helen with a grin. "I prefer Juliet and Juliet."_

_"But I thought," Helen said, hesitant as she searched for the right words to say._

_"What, I just hadn't met the right one." Nikki replied looking over at Helen with an amused look on her face. "No, they do nothing for me."_

_"How can you be sure," Helen questioned, her forehead showing curiosity._

_"The same way you are if you are." Nikki replied._

_Helen laughed. "I'm not interested in women. Not in that way."_

_"Well, you should give it a go sometime. You don't know what you're missing." Nikki sighed inwardly. She wanted to lean over and kiss Helen and something told her that she would reciprocate the kiss. Nikki went to remove a hair from Helen's face and felt her finch. "Sorry, I was just removing."_

_"No, I was being a twat. I like you Nikki, I," Helen stumbled with her words. Her mind went blank. She really didn't how to respond and it scared her. She wanted to run from Nikki, yet she needed to be near the woman. It confused her. _

_"Maybe we should go back to the case," Nikki said, not wanting Helen to blush further. She knew Helen was being polite and she had to stop herself from doing something stupid. "Remember when Mason mentioned that 'her eyes lit with the fire' or something like that."_

_"Yeah, why do you ask, Nikki?" Helen said, questioning. She wondered where Nikki was heading._

_"Something was bothering me so I did a little investigation the other day. I looked through the registrar twenty years back or so. I looked into fire investigation involving children, specific girls."_

_Helen was intrigued and impressed with Nikki. She wasn't just beautiful but extremely intelligent._

_"Anyway, I found about ten similar cases matching that description. I thought we could go through them together." Nikki smiled._

_"You're brilliant. Are you sure you wouldn't consider becoming a Criminal psychologist. You'd be excellent at it." Helen smiled over at Nikki. The more she spent with Nikki the more she enjoyed her company. But what did that say about her feelings? _

_"Well thanks for the vote of confidence. But I'm happy what I do." Nikki said. Sitting close to Helen was making her feel warm. "Maybe we should head over to the computer and go through them."_

_Helen and Nikki dissected every clipping and information about the fires. Nothing seem to fit and it was beginning to feel as if the investigation was heading at a dead end._

_"Hold on," Nikki said, looking over one of the fire investigation. "This one is about an eleven year old girl who died in a fire eighteen years ago. 'Tragic fire, resulting in a death of a young child named Chloe Manchester. Cause of fire, accidental. Family devastated. Survived by parents and a twin brother." Nikki looked over at Helen who was looking intently at the picture._

_"Nikki, what are you thinking?" Helen questioned as she looked into the deep brown eyes that were staring intently at her._

_Nikki moved her mouse and double-clicked at the picture in hopes to enlarge it. She looked very closely at the picture and was gob-smacked. "Helen, look at this picture closely. Tell me what you see."_

_Helen bent her head and squinted her eyes, as if she saw a ghost, her eyes widened and her mouth opened. She turned her head towards Nikki, "Are you thinking what I am thinking."_

_Nikki laughed, a smile appeared on her face. "Is it a coincidence but that little boy has the same eyes as Mason Waters."_

_Both women looked at each other. "This could be a break we've been waiting for." Helen said excitedly. _

_"I'm not 100% certain, but I get the feeling Mason was silenced. He became a liability." Nikki said rather annoyed with herself. She wished she got the chance to talk with Mason before he was killed. Did they get Mason killed? She had so many questions and very little answers._

_"If this is true and Mason is that boy in the picture, someone went a long way to cover their tracks and give Mason a whole new identity. But we need to be certain about this." Helen said looking at Nikki. _

_Nikki gave Helen a knowing look. "Look Helen, I think we should be hush about this."_

_"Yes, I think you're right Nikki." Helen said, licking her lips. _

_"About what?" Nikki inquired._

_"I think our killer might be working in the police department as you predicted. Someone to go through all this trouble had to be someone who understood the law." _

_"Someone who knows about getting away with murder and who is clever enough to be two steps ahead." Nikki brow furled. What more would they uncover? And was there someone in their mist that was committing these murders. _

_"Bloody fantastic," Helen sighed knowing that the murder investigation wasn't a typical case. She knew it was dangerous and if they were not careful, some inexcusable terrors were bound to rear their ugly head. "Who the hell can we trust? This is shite." _

_"Then this is just between us Helen?" Nikki said putting her hand over Helen's hand. She felt a need to protected Helen. Her feelings for Helen were becoming deeper and she could not bear to think someone might harm her if they knew they were starting to connect the dots._

_God your gorgeous Helen couldn't help think to herself. "I think we need a stiff drink, care to join me?"_

_"How can I refuse a passionate request coming from you?" Nikki joked seductively. Everything was shite but at least she was close to Helen._

_"Did you just flirt with me," Helen questioned, grinning. "I thought I just saw desire in your eyes."_

_"And if I said yes," Nikki said, smiling, inching closer to Helen. "We're both gorgeous women, the full moon is out and nothing to stop us from ripping each other's clothes off." Nikki bore a wide grin. She was ready to laugh into a fit of giggles._

_Helen sensing Nikki was pulling the covers over her head decided to play along with Nikki. "Be careful with me Nikki, I've never made love to a woman. But you're so damn sexy, I don't think I can refrain from jumping on your bones." _

_Both women looked at each other and then the giggles started, then a full blown laughter. What a crazy pair they made Helen thought. "So glad, you have a sense of humour Helen." As Nikki continued laughing. _

_"What can I say, Nikki," Helen stopped giggling for a moment. "You have such a comical sense of humour that it rubs off me."_

_"Careful, even Jim Fenner might enjoy this new you." Nikki joked._

_Helen looked at Nikki with steel blade eyes, "Don't ruin a perfectly good moment with that sodding bastard."_

_"So you ready for tomorrow night." Nikki enquired._

_"I'm glad you don't mind me and my friend tagging along. I need a night of heavy drinking and dancing."_

_"Cheers to that mate." Nikki said. "I might just drink you under the table. And you promised me a dance. I'm going to hold you to that."_

* * *

_(Saturday evening)_

_Helen took a deep breath and stepped out of her red Peugeot. She was still weary from the day. She didn't sleep much and she needed a night of heavy drinking. She needed to forget the case that was haunting her dreams. __Butterflies were now circling in her stomach. She almost felt sick. It had been a while since she had been on an outing with friends she panicked. Nikki would be there. She wondered if Nikki was interested in her. Nikki did flirt recklessly and always made her feel uncomfortable. All these thoughts consumed her - she hadn't thought of these possibilities before. 'Shite' she thought, the nerves building up even more. She wanted to turn around and go back to her apartment, even stopping in her tracks to do so when she glanced up and saw Nikki sitting at the table drinking and having a deep conversation with Karen and Yvonne. She deliberated as to what to do but it was too late, Karen looked up and caught Helen's eye. She smiled at her and waved her over to the table _

_Helen walked tentatively over, very aware of her surroundings, glaringly aware of the bar staff and women who watched her as she walked, as if they had a chance. She placed her hands on Karen's shoulders and breathing deeply apologised to Karen for her lateness. _

_Karen glanced at her watch. "I am sure I can let you away with three and a half minutes," she joked. _

_Helen immediately relaxed as Nikki caught the attention of the waitress and asked Helen what she wanted to drink. Helen looked at Nikki's glass and said, "I'll have whatever you're drinking." Nikki asked the waitress to bring a pint of lager and vodka shots and motioned for Helen to sit beside her. Helen took a seat and said hello to everyone as she shifted trying to get comfortable._

"_You look stunning," Nikki whispered to Helen as she shifted in her chair. She could feel Nikki's warm breath on her neck that sent shivers down her spine. Karen and Yvonne just smiled upon hearing Nikki's words._

"_So are we here to get wasted or what?" Yvonne said loudly. "I keep getting looks from those big butch women sitting across the bar. As if they had a chance."_

"_Well if you like Yvonne," Nikki grinned. "I could lean over and kiss you passionately. Sure that would scare them off." The girls laughed. "Or perhaps, you'd much rather have Karen's tongue down your throat?" Nikki implied as if she knew something that they didn't._

"_Yikes, forget that dear." Yvonne quipped. "I ain't no queer but I am sure they would get turned on watching two gorgeous women like us get it on."_

"_I reckon you'd be correct." Karen giggled. "It would be their fantasy to land someone as sexy as you." Yvonne blushed at Karen's words._

"_Afraid Karen's kiss might illicit deep sexual feelings that you've locked inside," Caroline said, smiling over at Yvonne who looked like she was ready to lean across the table and strangle her. She had such a smart mouth._

"_You lesbians are all the same." Yvonne smirked. "Been there, done that. Then again I suppose it's better than kissing you."_

_Caroline stuck her tongue out. "You wish."_

_Nikki jerked her head around quickly when she heard Yvonne. "Did you just say 'been there, done that?"_

_Yvonne just shook her head remembering an encounter a long time ago. "Don't sound so shock Nikki. You might want to close your mouth before the flies settle in."_

_Nikki turned her attention towards Karen. "Did you know this?"_

_Karen looked away as if to say she wasn't interested in discussing Yvonne sexual experience back in her younger days. "What does this have to do with me?" She defended._

"_You're her best mate and you've never mentioned anything to me before." Nikki replied as if Karen was purposely hiding something from her._

"_Leave it to rest. It was long ago and really Nikki, it's not all that shocking." Karen said dryly. She really wasn't interested in having this conversation and was a little surprised at Yvonne openness. Usually she was a closed book when it came to certain matters._

_Yvonne laughed out-loud as if her sexual experience was something interesting. She didn't know why but she felt like sharing a little of herself tonight. "Okay, there was this one girl that I really liked and cared for…and well we both where curious and then one thing lead to another and before we knew or understood what we were doing, our clothes were off and we had sex. It didn't help we had too much alcohol in our system. It was just something I did and thought nothing much of it afterwards." Yvonne said, trying not to sound like it was a big deal. "Look, I was a wild child and quite rebellious in my younger years. I slept with a lot of blokes, and a few women, regardless if I was high or drunk. I'm not going to apologise for having a wild past as I would not have my Lauren."_

_Helen was shocked by Yvonne's revelation. She seemed so self-assured as a matter of fact. She knew who she was and didn't care if you like it or not. That was one quality she liked about Yvonne. She was a feisty competitor. _

"_So did you leave a trail of broken hearts?" Nikki laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "Does your Lauren know how wild you really were back then?"_

"_You keep her out of this Nikki," Yvonne save her a knowing look. "I'm sure there are some secrets you'd like hidden."_

_Nikki raised her hands up then said, "Alright, alright." She knocked her elbow against Karen. "Any other dark secrets you two are keeping from me?" _

_Karen slapped Nikki's back. "You're one to talk." Karen grinned as if she thought of something evil to say. She was about to say something before Nikki gave her a wicked evil glare. _

"_Don't even think it," she replied._

_Karen looked over at Yvonne and smiled as they both sensed what each other were thinking. "I have no idea what you're getting at dear."_

_Helen looked over and Karen and Nikki and wondered what the hell they were referring too, but whatever it was, Nikki was adamant that Karen didn't open her gob and spill. It was fun watching them glare at each other. She was glad that she came out. She really needed fun in her life._

"_Don't play innocent," Nikki glared and then shot a cold stare at Yvonne who was trying to suppress a smile. She knew Karen was toying with her about Helen. She did not want Karen to embarrass her as she knew she would. Caroline watched the interaction and had no clue what they were getting at. She turned her attention towards Nikki. She always found Nikki attractive, but tonight, seeing Nikki laughing and joking, she couldn't believe how incredible sexy she was without even trying. There was something different about her tonight. She knew she had no right to have these thoughts since she had a girlfriend but if Nikki was to tell her 'yes' she knew she would dump her girlfriend in a heartbeat._

_Helen's thoughts wondered off as she thought about Nikki. She was so in deep thought that she didn't hear her name being mentioned. She turned towards Nikki and saw her deep brown eyes looking straight at her. Had Nikki been watching her all this time?_

_"Once they get pissed I am sure their real nature will be shining through." Nikki said to Helen, smiling._

"_As promised," Helen said, "Keep the drinks coming and forget about the day's event." _

_Nikki smiled and turned to Karen as they discussed about Nikki's new puppy._

"_That's could be a real problem, Nikki," Karen said laughing. "I guess you're going to have to do something about this before she gets into your knickers."_

_Nikki gave Karen a rigid expression. "Never-mind the knickers. She adores playing with the toilet tissue." Nikki exclaimed. "I came home one day and found tissue all over the place. I tried bribing her with treats but failed miserably. I've sent her away for a week to be trained properly since I don't have the time or patience."_

"_Well, apparently, whatever you've been doing with her, hasn't been working. Why don't you try a different approach?" Karen said, trying to sound encouraging._

"_Such as," Nikki wanted to know Karen's bright idea. "Last time I tried to use positive reinforcement with her she bloody nearly attacked me when I tried to pick her up." Nikki said looking animated._

"_Oi Nikki," Yvonne laughed. "Didn't you say that she was a puppy?"_

_Nikki looked at Yvonne with a scorn look on her face, "Yeah, well, she is, but still, she can be a little vicious puppy when she wants to be." Yvonne continued to laugh. "I don't want the bloody neighbours to get on my case, if she gets loose and starts doing her business all over the neighbourhood._

"_Maybe you should move, Nikki," Karen said still grinning. "Find a proper Victorian home rather than a converted warehouse in a better neighbourhood. You could get away from the nosy neighbours, and the neurosis bored housewife that lives across you. Didn't you say, she's always flirting with you?" Everyone laughed._

"_She isn't that bad, Karen, and besides, I like where I live. It's rather quiet and the neighbours stick to themselves." Nikki said distorting her face. "Besides, the bored housewife just needs a good shag."_

"_You're offering your services," Yvonne quipped. Helen couldn't contain her laughter as Nikki gave her a pinch._

"_No, but maybe I should send her a box of dildos so she can keep herself occupied." Nikki giggled. She smiled over at Helen who was giggling herself. "Maybe I should give her your number Yvonne. Now that you've confessed to loving a woman you could strap yourself with a strap-on and give her a real good go."_

_Yvonne almost spat her drink over the table. Damn that Nikki was one funny babe. "Watch your tongue. Better still, you could give her Jim Fenner's number," she said trying to hide her giggles and turning away from Karen who was clearly annoyed._

_Trying to change the subject Nikki said, "There's Mrs. Brownstone, she's an absolute doll, and every now and then she comes over with a fresh batch of cookies, as we zip tea, and talk about her unruly adult children."_

"_Sounds like a real boring time," Yvonne said smirking. "But I ain't the one living there."_

"_Oi," Nikki threw a peanut at her._

_Just then Gina Rossi popped her head in, "Hello everyone," Gina said as Nikki watched her sit down. She didn't look too happy._

"_Hi ya, Gina," Nikki answered. "I didn't expect to see you tonight." Nikki poured her a glass. Gina took the glass from Nikki._

"_Well Mark bailed on me so here I am to have a fun time with my babes." She said frustrated._

"_Sorry Nikki, I think I'll pass." Yvonne said as Nikki tried to offer her a glass._

"_Are you sure, just one glass." Nikki looked over at Yvonne who shook her head. Nikki poured the beer into the glasses, and sat down comfortably on the chair._

_Then Karen turned to Yvonne, "How is your Lauren doing."_

"_She's coming to visit me this weekend. She's in her final year at College." Yvonne said proudly._

_Caroline nodded. She always thought that Yvonne's daughter was rather, sweet on the eyes. A bit too young, but she wouldn't kick her out of her bed if she offered. Nikki knew from the expression Caroline gave Yvonne that she was thinking about Lauren. Caroline confided in her that she thought Lauren was attractive, but from her understanding, she was straight and had a boyfriend, although, there were times when Nikki thought that Lauren was a little too friendly or rather flirty with her. She only met Lauren several times, but she always got this feeling that something didn't fit, but she could never put her finger on it. It was more of a feeling, something that she couldn't describe, or define._

"_Is she still with that bloke, what's his name?" Nikki asked trying to remember._

"_Ryan, his name is Ryan, and not a bad bloke, a bit too skinny, but he treats her right." Yvonne said. Lauren was the apple of her eye. She had a son, but he was more like his father Charlie, and she was very close with her daughter._

"_Well, if you need someone to show her a good time while you're working, then I'd be more than willing." Caroline said smiling._

_I bet you would, Yvonne thought. She was in no way going to let Caroline be alone with her daughter. She didn't quite understand Caroline's relationship with her girlfriend, only from what she had told her, but she found it a strange state of affairs. Caroline told her on more than one occasion, that she loved her girlfriend but wasn't in love with her, but that they had an understanding and that it worked for them. Still, what did she know? Everyone finds love differently. She didn't care about Caroline's sexuality when she first told her. They got along well enough and who she decided to bring into her bedroom was none of her business. Yvonne hoped that Lauren would inherit more of Nikki's personality traits; the determination that Nikki displayed would be good for Lauren, because as much as she loved her daughter, sometimes she would display a lack of direction. She knew that Nikki would be a good role model. And in many ways, Nikki reminded her of herself when she was younger. She always knew what she wanted and didn't care about other opinions._

"_Hey Nikki, why don't you invite Lauren to one of your session," Yvonne said eagerly. "My Lauren would do well as a Clinical Psychologist."_

_Nikki cringed. She didn't mean too. Although, she didn't mind helping Lauren, she wasn't quite sure she wanted Yvonne being the overly mother type. Nikki worked on her own pace, and she knew that Yvonne would be, with good intention, a speed bump, tagging along like a good mother would do. She knew how Yvonne operated, once she set her mind on something, she's was like an eagle, waiting on her prey, executing with sharp precision._

"_Maybe, Yvonne, but I have been very busy with this murder investigation." Nikki said hoping that would be enough to steer Yvonne away._

"_Let me know then, 'cos I really do think my Lauren would be a lovely candidate, and I know she wouldn't disappoint you." Yvonne said nodding her head, all the while Helen laughed inwardly. She knew Nikki was being polite._

_Karen laughed, "Yeah, Nikki, I think your charm is wearing off."_

"_Oi, you're supposed to be on my side." _

"_What would your vicious puppy say," Yvonne said, grinning and sticking her tongue out._

_Nikki felt Helen giggle as she tried to keep a straight face. She turned to face Helen, her eyes squinted. "You're supposed to be my allied."_

_Helen tried to look away but Nikki wouldn't let her. "C'mon Nikki," still giggling. "I just didn't realise a little puppy would put a kink in your amour."_

_Nikki was going to make Helen pay for her words. She put her arm around Helen's shoulder and then started tickling her on her sides, which made Helen jump as she tried hard not to laugh so hard. "Please Nikki," was all she could mouth without giggling._

"_Let's see where else you are ticklish." Nikki said, enjoying watching Helen squirm like a fish. Yvonne egged her on._

"_Give her a good nibble on the ear," Yvonne said, "as I hear that will tip her over the edge."_

"_Don't you dare," Helen spat and she tried to push Nikki's arms down but they were so strong and she could feel Nikki's tension muscle. She enjoyed the closeness she was feeling even though she was being tickled. _

_Nikki raised her brow as if to contemplate a decision. She smiled a wicked grin at Helen as she bent over, inches from her face. Helen's face became flush and her heartbeat raced faster. "I'm more incline to bite her neck."_

_Karen and Yvonne laughed as they encouraged Nikki to be bold. In reality, they wanted them both to open their eyes and heart. Caroline was not amused by the friendly play as she was feeling somewhat jealous that Nikki was being very touchy with Helen. "You guys are just evil," Helen glared, and looking over Nikki with pleading eyes, but all the while enjoying the game._

_Nikki continued looking at Helen who was no longer struggling. They both stared into each other eyes as if they were the only two people there. Nikki closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath and she knew that she was dangerously thinking about kissing Helen, but this was not the right place nor did she have any right to be forceful. She knew Helen was just playing along with her, although, if she was honest, she could see a little desire coming from Helen's eyes. Then Nikki finally released Helen and leaned back on her chair. "I don't want you to die from laughter because," she continued. "You might hand-cuff me for the trouble I caused. We can't have that, can we?"_

_Helen finally caught her breath. She was a little disappointed their fun ended. "Smart woman, Nikki. You've finally came to your senses."_

"_You two are so fickle," Yvonne said disappointed that the show was over. If she didn't know better she sensed sexual tension oozing from Nikki and Helen. She smiled inwardly._

"_Shall we order some more drinks then," Nikki said. The evening fun just started and she wondered how she was going to keep her emotions under control. She pushed those thoughts aside and decided to just let the evening play out._


	12. Chapter 12

(Okay, so I wasn't happy with this chapter, so I took some time and changed some wordings. It's pretty much the same concept, but you will notice I added more words, lines, etc. to make the chapter more interesting. I hope everyone likes it so far. I will post another chapter before the holidays. Won't give much away for the next chapter except that I go back to my darker side, yet still with hints of humour. I do hope all those who are reading my story is enjoying it so far. Do let me know what you think or if anything pops in your head. Good or bad is fine with me. Enjoy and thanks)

**_Chapter 12_**

_"So how are you parents doing," Karen said, turning her attention towards Helen. The last conversation she had with Helen about her parents was a heated debate. She knew her relationship with her parents were strained based on what Helen told her, but she always felt that Helen was holding back, even when she challenged her._

_Helen gave Karen a knowing look as if she really didn't want to discuss her parents. She loved her parents, but they always seem to give her a hard time about her career and when she was planning on giving them grandchildren. She always hated when she felt like she was being scolded and defending the choices she made in her life. "Personally I think they should get a divorce and put their marriage out of misery once and for all." Helen said half interested. She knew that her parents weren't happy in their marriage, but she didn't want to get involved in their affairs. When her parents first separated eight years prior it was difficult for both Helen and her brother, but it seemed more difficult having them in a marriage that seem dead in water. It was like a business partnership based on convenience rather than based on love and respect._

_"Unfortunately it does happens to a lot of marriages," Gina said, trying to sound understanding. _

_"Well, if they do decide," Helen said, "I'm sure it would benefit them both." She pitched her voice an octave higher._

_"How do you feel about it?" Yvonne said looking over at Nikki who was quietly drinking and observing the conversation. _

_"I'm not really sure to be quite honest," Nikki said. "What are your views on astrology?"_

_"Pardon me?" Yvonne said, giving Nikki a puzzled look as if she said something out of the ordinary._

_"Astrology, you know, birth signs, zodiacs? That kind of thing." Nikki explained._

_"I love the signs of the zodiac, and all the constellation stuff." Gina said smiling at Nikki. She believed that everything had a higher power. "Perhaps your parents are not a good mix on the love chart." She said to Helen._

_Helen rolled her eyes at her, "Glad you're so in touch with the Age of Aquarius, you silly bird. But what the hell does that have to do with anything. You don't actually believe in that silly stuff do you Gina."_

_Nikki turned to look at Helen and said, "Actually, I think there is a lot you could learn from it and maybe you shouldn't be so quick to disapprove."_

_Yvonne smiled as she shook her head. "I am sure you could, but personally, I don't have much use for it. I don't wait for fate to guide my universe."_

_"Well, I was thinking there is a lot we do not understand from our universe and…" Nikki started saying before she was cut off in mid-flight._

_"Did you know that Nikki as a young child wanted to become an astrologer?" Karen said poking her nose in the conversation. "I hear she was quite the nerdy child." She giggled._

_"No, I didn't." Helen said, giving Nikki a playful nudge and grin. Somehow she imagined Nikki reading a lot and being an inquisitive child. _

_Nikki's nostrils flared and she took a deep breath. "When I was a child, my father came to my school one day for one of those parent teacher meeting and dragged on for hours my prodigious ambition to become an astrology. It was all so embarrassing." _

_"Embarrassing? Why were you embarrassed, Nikki?" Helen asked. _

_"Sure he was charming and all, but as a young child I was simply embarrassed as he kept gushing about and at one point I thought my teacher was going to gag him with a rag. I knew she was being polite and she always seemed to go out of her way to give me special attention after that meeting. I wondered if he paid her in a monetary sense." Nikki said, thinking about her childhood. She missed her parents and wished they were still alive to see the adult version of her._

_"Sounds like a wonderful father who liked to be involved." Helen said wishing her parents were more understanding and open._

_"My dad was the best. But he was making a fool of himself explaining the details of my ambition as if I was going to be a great astronaut someday." Nikki explained. "I know he was really proud of me."_

_"At least your father was not a cheating lout." Helen said exasperated. The memories did not suit her well, at least one particular memory she has tried over and over to forget._

_"And you've never made a fool of yourself over a bloke." Karen said shaking her head._

_"I'm no saint, I will confess. But it's not the same thing. He's my father and he was being disloyal to my mother." Helen sighed heavily. "I guess we always tend to relate to our parents as if we were still children. It is rather difficult, maybe even impossible, to see them as ordinary people."_

_"Try, Helen." Gina said. "Your father is only human, and all men have cheating ways about them. Look at my ex-husband. That sodding git was a selfish bastard who only thought of himself."_

_"Well," Yvonne said, "At least you had the right sense to kick him out before you lost your dignity."_

_"Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but I can sympathize with my mother, if only slightly, about her nagging faults. I suppose she didn't have it easy during their marriage, yet I wonder why my father sticks around. It's like having salt and pepper mixed together with a lethal dose of arsenic."_

_"By the way, Helen where is your friend Claire," Caroline asked with a coy sneer. "Did she decide to skip the fun?" _

_"Not to my knowledge," Helen said trying not to sound interested. It wasn't like Claire to show up late for an outing. _

_"Oh, never-mind," Caroline said. "I think that's her at the front entrance."_

_Nikki looked over at the door and saw an attractive woman smiling over at their table. Nikki watched as she came over, smiling. As if Gina sensed Nikki's drooling, she nudged Nikki on the arm. Nikki looked over to find a devilish grin on Gina's face. Helen's face became warm when she realised she was jealous of the way Nikki was looking over at her friend Claire._

_Nikki got up from her chair and said, "Hi, I'm Nikki Wade," she extended her hand to Claire, "And you must be Claire Walker."_

_"That's correct," Claire said smiling and looking intently at her. This Nikki Wade was one hot babe. Helen was holding back on Nikki's true beauty. Helen always described Nikki as someone who was intriguing with loads of charm but she held back on the sexy part. Claire wanted to know more about this Nikki who clearly had Helen's attention. At least the was the impression she got out of Helen who seemed to talk about Nikki a little more than usual._

_"So, Helen tells me you are helping her with a murder case." Claire said still smiling at Nikki. By now Nikki was beginning to notice Claire eyeing her up and down in a sexually manner. She didn't usually care, but she felt self-conscience with Helen around so near and her friend obvious checking her out. Helen notice too and felt a little pang of annoyance that Claire would be so bloody obvious. Then again, she had no claim to Nikki, but the thought made her feel nauseous. _

_"Yes, Helen persuaded me to come on board." Nikki gushed._

_"Yes," Claire looked over at Helen, "She does have a certain way about her that can persuade someone into doing something for her. She does that to me too." Helen felt uncomfortable that they were so casually discussing her personality. "And she has told me a lot of you too. She talks about you all the time." Claire confessed._

_Helen felt a little embarrassed that Claire would be so obvious. She felt as if she was being an open book. "She's over-exaggerating about it." Helen said defending herself._

_Nikki laughed inwardly at Helen's obvious discomfort. She was glad that Helen thought about her enough to talk about her to her friend. "I am sure whatever she has mentioned to you about me is all true." Nikki winked over at Helen and smile. "Let me get this round of drinks," Nikki said. "So I want everyone to drink up."_

_"Nice to see you again Claire," Caroline said. "It's been awhile since I last saw you."_

_"Something, like that," Claire said, sounding uninterested. She met Caroline a couple of times. Caroline seemed to go out of her way to flirt with her, not that she was interested. She wondered if Caroline flirted with everyone. _

_"Hello, I'm Gina," she reached over and shook Claire's hand. Claire turned her attention to Nikki who seemed to be glowing as she watched her interaction with Helen. She looked a little different from the mental picture, sexier, or perhaps, being around Nikki made Helen glow she thought. _

_Yvonne got up, "Have a seat, I'm Yvonne," Yvonne gave way for Claire to sit next to Nikki and Helen. "Is there anything we can get you?"_

_"Nothing at the moment," Claire said politely. Everyone seemed friendly she thought to herself. _

_"Helen tells us you teach at a University. Gina said making conversation._

_"That's right,"_

_"Sounds interesting," Yvonne said smiling._

_"It can be, but it's a lot of hard work, but I find it rewarding in the end." Claire said. She was beginning to become relax. What she really wanted was to get to know Nikki. She was absolute gorgeous and her type. She did notice that Helen was sitting a little too close to Nikki, which was surprising considering that Helen usually took a long time to open up to people. She could understand since she found Nikki charming and easy to talk to._

_Nikki came back with the drinks. "Here you go Helen." Nikki handed Helen her drink and their fingers touched slightly which jolted them both. Helen turned away quickly, trying to be interested in the conversation. Nikki stood for a few seconds before sitting down. What the hell was that she thought! It was the same feeling she got when she was around Helen, but stronger. It wasn't as if Nikki hasn't touched Helen before but this time it was like a bolt of lightning. She wondered if Helen feel it too? _

* * *

_Soon everyone was talking and having a good time. Nikki decided she needed to get drunk and forget about Helen. She was trying to stay neutral as she felt Claire and Caroline flirting with her. But unfortunately, Nikki could only think about being close to Helen who seemed a little distant. It was driving her a little crazy so she excused herself and headed towards the loo. A little while later she headed to the loo._

_"What do you mean you've broken up?" Yvonne shouted. Just then Nikki entered the bathroom. She noticed right away that she had entered into a heated debate and felt awkward. She didn't want to seem like she was prying on Yvonne's phone conversation._

_"Sorry, did I interrupt something?" Nikki said casually. "Are you okay, von." She asked, worried._

_Yvonne turned off her mobile phone and looked up as her eyes were red. "Nikki, I need your help."_

_"What's going on Yvonne? Your conversation seemed so intense."_

_"She's planning on coming back home after graduation, to stay that is." Yvonne said apprehensive._

_Nikki was puzzled at first. She didn't understand why Yvonne would be against her daughter coming home. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing? You would see her more often as you have been complaining that you don't see her enough since you sent her off to that private school."_

_"No, well yes, I love having Lauren around, but we both discussed that after graduation she would spend a year in Europe, doing her internship. I want her to experience a different culture and do the things that I never did when I was a teenager."_

_"She's not sixteen anymore, Yvonne. I suppose she has a good reason for not wanting to go abroad." Nikki said wondering why Yvonne was dead against her Lauren coming home._

_"She told me that she wanted to work in the family business, but I would prefer if she didn't." Yvonne said, looking weary._

_Nikki looked at Yvonne. "Is there something you're not telling me?" She asked._

_"Look I trust you Nikki, but there are some things I can't explain. You need to trust me on this. I don't want my Lauren to work in the family business. I much prefer her to find her own way." Yvonne said trying hard not to get emotional._

_"Don't put too much emphasis and I'm sure things will sort out. She's just trying to find her way around. Just give her time and I'm sure she'll get tired of it all change her mind." Nikki said in a reassuring manner, hoping that Yvonne would feel better._

_"I wish I could believe that Nikki, I really do." Yvonne said turning on the tap and splashing water on her face._

_Nikki put her hand on Yvonne's shoulder. "Lauren is a bright young woman and I'm sure she'll do the right thing. She needs to do what's best for her."_

_"I'm sure you're right but she also broke up with her boyfriend." Yvonne exclaimed._

_"She did." Nikki responded, not entirely surprised._

_"You don't seem surprised," Yvonne said, her brow upright as if Nikki knew something._

_Nikki hesitated momentarily then said, "Well, we all go through the break-up stage in our younger years. Did she give you a reason?"_

_"I asked her why, and she wouldn't give me a specific reason, except that she wasn't in love with him."_

_"It's just as well if she isn't in love with him then she's doing the right thing." Nikki nodded her head. "It wouldn't be fair to the both of them if she doesn't care for him."_

_Yvonne stood up and walked towards Nikki, "I know my Lauren well, and she's keeping something from me. I can sense it, but she won't confide in me."_

_"You know children, always defiant towards their parents." Nikki said._

_"It's more than that Nikki. I can't explain it. I was actually hoping that you would talk to her. I know she likes you and maybe she will open up in you."_

_Nikki looked at Yvonne. She didn't want to get involved. Why must everyone involve her in such sordid affairs? "Yvonne, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to feel like I'm spying on her. It's just not right."_

_Yvonne laughed harshly. "I'm not asking you to spy, Nikki, I'm just asking you to talk to her and see where she's at."_

_"You don't know what you're asking of me. I don't want Lauren to feel as if I am using her to pry information out of her on behalf of you. That wouldn't be right, not to mention dishonest."_

_Yvonne placed her hand on Nikki's arm. "It's not like that, I promise. Listen if you feel uncomfortable then you don't have to tell me what she tells you. Just find out if she's okay. That's all I ask Nikki."_

_Nikki knew that she shouldn't but looking at Yvonne and realising the desperation in her voice, Nikki felt again compelled to say yes. "Okay, but don't expect miracles. It seems like I'm a miracle worker these days."_

* * *

_Nikki found her way to the back and headed outside, where she leaned against the wall taking in the cool air. She was such a sucker. Why didn't she have the good sense to say no to people? Nikki closed her eyes and tried to think of nothing. Thirty seconds later she heard the door being opened and when she opened her eyes she found Helen's head around the door._

_"Sorry, I didn't realise you were out here. I came looking for air." Helen said apologetic._

_"It's fine. You're free to roam as you please." Nikki replied coldly._

_Helen felt hurt by Nikki's cold response, but didn't make much of it. "I can see you're not much for company so I'll leave you alone."_

_Nikki wanted to kick herself silly for being such a twit. "Sorry, please don't go."_

_"No," Helen replied hesitantly._

_Nikki smiled, "No, stay, and keep me company. Don't mind my sharp tongue"_

_"It looks like everyone is having a really good time tonight. Even Claire is mingling with the crowd. She's even gotten herself a few numbers, and judging by her actions, she might just get lucky tonight." Helen said cheerfully._

_"Well, she's come to the right place then, and she is herself very attractive." Helen stiffened. Why did she care? Yes, Claire was attractive so why did it bother her that Nikki said it so casually._

_"Well, you're not so bad yourself, Nikki," Helen blushed slightly._

_Nikki looked at Helen, staring at her just a little longer than she normally would, which made Helen feel a little uncomfortable. "Who knows then, perhaps I will get lucky too." Helen was quiet. She didn't know what to say. They stood like that for a few minutes before Nikki broke the silence. "I'm glad you came tonight."_

_"Really, why," Helen smiled. She felt the warm sensation permeate her body._

_Because you make me want to grab you and kiss you passionately Nikki thought, and as an act of bravery leaned forward towards Ren. "Can you keep a secret?" Nikki said seductively. She was going to see how far she could go with Helen. She didn't know why she wanted to. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system or maybe she wanted to feel something._

_Helen smiled nervously waiting for Nikki to go on. "You're secret's safe with me."_

_"I just wanted to say," Nikki leaned back with her elbow against the wall. "That you look really beautiful tonight"_

_Helen was startled. She wasn't expecting that Nikki would be so blunt. Then realising what Nikki said, her face became flushed and her heart started to exhilarate quickly. Then without thinking Helen said in a low whisper, "You look beautiful too." For some reason she wanted to reach out and caress Nikki's face. She wanted to comfort Nikki, but in truth, she wanted to feel something too._

_"It hurts just looking at you," Nikki said clearing her throat, feeling a little high from the alcohol. A sadness crossed her eyes realising she would never to able to hold Helen the way she wanted to._

_Helen thought that was the sweetest thing she heard. "Oh, Nikki, that's sweet of you to say." Helen went to place her hand over Nikki's face. Then just as quickly as Nikki heard those words it brought her back to reality. She didn't want to play this game anymore. _

_"Maybe we should head back inside." Helen was taken aback. Why was Nikki in a hurry to get away? Feeling a little hurt Helen agreed as they both walked back, in silence. Once back inside both couldn't focus. Nikki tried desperately to get Helen out of her head, while Helen felt like Nikki was ignoring her and it bothered her._

_"What wrong Helen," Claire asked. Something seemed to be bothering Helen, but what? She did seem awkward around Nikki. Somehow she imagined that there was tension between them. Exactly what was their relationship? Did Nikki have feelings for Helen? Was it something else? She made a mental note to find out. _

_"Nothing, honestly" Helen lied. She really did not want to get into a debate. She was feeling a little depressed and decided to wallow her sorrow's in alcohol. _

_"Don't use that line on me, so spill." Claire said, her arms crossed. "You're hiding something from me so don't pull that crap on me."_

_"Really, Claire, you're putting too much emphasis on it." Helen repeated trying to avoid Clair's glaring stare. "Please, don't give me that I know you're hiding something from me. I don't need to explain myself."_

_Claire sighed. "Fine, but don't think for a minute that I don't sense something is up between you and Nikki, but have it your way for now." _

* * *

_A little while later Nikki was dancing with Caroline and Gina as Helen watched from the table. "So Helen," Yvonne said. "How are things with you and your Sean?"_

_Helen cocked her head back. "Things are just fine." Just then a woman approached and asked Helen if she wanted to dance as she politely refused. She didn't want to dance with any woman. In fact, the only person who was invading her mind was Nikki and she wondered how it would feel to dance close to her. _

_"Look at Nikki," Karen said. "It usually only takes a couple of minutes on the dance floor before hoards of women try to get on with her." _

_"I can't blame them really," Claire said grinning. "She's bloody fantastic and oozes sex appeal, not many would refuse, I bet." Helen shook her head in disbelief. But Claire was right. All night Nikki was being hounded by women. It made her feel slightly nauseated. She was jealous and she couldn't deny it._

* * *

_Two hours had passed, the drinks and conversation flowing. They had been regaling in stories of old. Helen realised that now she knew Nikki rather well and also acknowledged that Nikki wouldn't like that much which made her laugh even harder. After the third pint of lager and vodka shots they were both feeling the effects of the alcohol._

_"Shite," Nikki proclaimed. "I haven't been pissed in ages," she laughed as she said this, enjoying the feeling of stimulating company and more than glad that her nerves had subsided. She was no longer ignoring Helen and just letting herself have fun._

_"I love this song, Nikki," Gina said. "Let's dance." As she grabbed Nikki's hand before she had a chance to get her bearing on and led her to the dance floor as Helen watched the two women move their bodies close to each other. They were playing 'The one that got away' by Natasha Bedingfield._

_As Nikki danced with Gina, she kept looking over at Helen who was looking back at her. What was she thinking Nikki wondered? Helen couldn't help watch Nikki. She was mesmerized by Nikki's pure beauty, and the song that was playing was having a melodic effect on her, and the words permeated her skin like a moth to a flame. Something inside her stirred. Something she had been holding back for years. Tonight was different. She was different and she knew it. She had to put a lid on it. If only she could look away, but she couldn't. Claire watched Helen from the corner of her eye. Why was she so fixated on Nikki tonight? Helen was holding back with Nikki, but why? Why was there tension between them? Perhaps Claire was imagining it, perhaps she wasn't. There was only one way to find out._

_Once the song was over they made their way back to the table laughing. "Who knew you could dance so seductively Gina." Nikki joked, putting her arms around her._

_"Did you notice those all those women staring at us as we danced?" Gina laughed. "And have you know that I'm am a woman with many sexual moves."_

_"Yeah, but you almost stepped on my foot." Nikki teased. "Are you sure you've never been with a woman?"_

_"Maybe I'll get lucky tonight and make Mark jealous." Gina laughed. Being with a woman might not be so bad. But then she thought about it and really, the only woman she would make love too would be Nikki. "But if you're serious about me having a gay experience, then maybe you should seduce me tonight." She winked at Nikki which caused Helen to almost cough out her drink._

_"Why would Nikki want to seduce an ugly bird like you," Yvonne quipped, grinning as Karen laughed, almost spilling her drink and Claire giggling quietly._

_"Could you be jealous?" Gina smiled over at Yvonne._

_"You wish," Yvonne sneered. "But you'd better take a number…judging by the many women who keep trying to get Nikki's attention, you'd be last in line."_

_"Calm down ladies, I'm sitting right here," Nikki said, trying not to laugh. She sensed Helen getting restless, but why? "First rule, never get involved with a colleague. Too much drama. And there's plenty of me to go around." Everyone laughed, except for Helen who was feeling a little sick from the alcohol. _

_"So come on then Miss Stewart," Nikki smile growing as she accentuated Helen's name once again. "I thought you promised me you were going to show me the high life of dancing." What she really wanted was to slow dance with Helen._

_Helen nodded and gathering her thoughts together attempted to stand up. Realising the difficulty she was having with this caused her to double over with laughter. The table fell silent - all eyes were on the Helen as she grasped the table to steady herself. She was unaware of them staring as Nikki proclaimed to Helen. "You my dear need to get some air into those lungs. I think the alcohol is getting to you." _

_They both made their way out into the cool London air. Nikki pulled her coat tightly around Helen and automatically placed her arm through Helen's arm. Helen didn't know whether it was the cool night air, the alcohol or the closeness of Nikki that caused the spinning sensation in her head. A smile spread across Nikki's mouth as she relaxed against the wall, aware of Helen's thigh touching her own. _

_"I don't think I feel too good. I think the alcohol is making me nauseous. and I feel dizzy." Helen stated._

_"Listen, do you want to leave. I could take you home or if you want company you can come over my place. I really don't mind. I don't think you should be alone tonight." Nikki said, hoping Helen would agree. She wanted to be alone with Helen._

_"Perhaps you're right." Helen smiled weakly. She didn't want to be alone yet she was also weary being alone with Nikki._

_They both made their way back to the table and Nikki explained that she was going to take Helen home as she wasn't feeling well. Claire offered to drive Helen home but she declined as Nikki was kind enough to offer first. As they left the club Claire smiled to herself. She had a feeling that there was something going on between Nikki and Helen. Yvonne and Karen also both smiled as they looked at each other. Yvonne gave Karen a wink as if to say, 'we need to get those two together'._

_They said their goodbyes and hailed a taxi. The ride home was quiet. Helen head felt like a balloon from all the drinking and loud music. Helen motioned for Nikki to stop the car._

_"Excuse me Sir, could you please pull over." Nikki asked the driver worried about Helen's state of health. Once the taxi pulled over Helen opened the door and emptied her stomach. She cursed herself for drinking more than she knew she could handle. She normally didn't drink herself into a stupor but she was trying to drink her blues away. Ever since Nikki came into her life she wasn't the same and deep down inside she knew the reasons why._

_Once they finally arrived at Nikki's front door, she tried helping Helen but she was feeling a tipsy herself. "Helen, I need you to help me. You need to move your feet." Nikki was beginning to feel a little wound up and wanted to shake Helen. _

_Helen managed to arose slightly, enough to get to herself standing upright. Nikki struggled with the keys while Helen leaned against her for support. Once they got into the house Nikki managed to put Helen on the sofa. She was about to go and put on a kettle on to make some tea so she would feel better when Helen grabbed her arm._

_"Please don't leave Nikki." Helen pleaded. She didn't want to be left alone._

_"I'm just going to put the kettle on." Nikki tried to reassure Helen. _

_"No stay here with me for a bit. I don't want to be alone." Helen looked at Nikki with those big hazel/green eyes. How could she resist._

_"I promise I won't be long, Okay." Nikki said, as she lifted Helen's chin up._

_"Okay." Helen muttered, her eyes glossy. _

_Nikki came back from the kitchen with a cup in her hand. "Here drink this," Nikki said, giving Helen English tea. She looked at Helen who looked tired and wanted to hold her and tell her how much she enjoyed having her at her place._

_"You're too sweet," Helen said, her words a little slurred. Her head was still spinning but she couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or Nikki sitting so close to her. It gave her a sweet sensation._

_Nikki sat next to Helen. She felt a little uncomfortable at fist. She didn't know what to do or the right words to say. Helen was drunk and she knew she probably wouldn't remember anything. Even though Helen looked worst to wear Nikki felt compelled to hold Helen in her arms. In truth she wanted to feel her close. She felt selfish for thinking it. _

_Helen looked into Nikki's eyes that seemed to be a bit more bright this evening. "You're beautiful NIkki. Do you know that?" Nikki didn't know what to say. She knew that the alcohol was talking and that Helen was in no shape to know what she was saying. "I mean that Nikki. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I'm sorry if I was ever rude to you." Nikki continued looking at Helen._

_Nikki couldn't resist Helen's honesty. She was beautiful herself. "That's okay Helen I know that you didn't mean to be rude." Was all Nikki could manage to say! All she wanted to do was kiss Helen and feel the intense emotions that were permeating her body._

_Nikki ran her fingers on Helen's face making Helen close her eyes feeling the warmth of her fingers._

_"You have beautiful skin." Nikki said feeling like she was submerged in Helen's sexuality. She could barely keep a straight face. Just then Nikki lowered her head and captured Helen's mouth. Nikki's lips felt warm and soft but before Nikki could deepen the kiss Helen jumped up from the couch._

_"No Nikki, please don't." Helen turned away afraid to look into Nikki's eyes._

_"I shouldn't have done that." Nikki felt embarrassed and foolish for kissing Helen in her state._

_"No you shouldn't have."_

_"I'm sorry Helen. It won't happen again." And with that Helen laid back on her couch closing her eyes wanting to block everything out._

_"Excuse me, I will just," Nikki said leaving the room, not knowing what to say, as if anything she said would be acceptable after allowing herself to take advantage of the situation. Why did she allow her emotions to get the better of her? How will this affect their working relationship? Her only hope was that Helen was wasted and probably wouldn't remember what transpired between them. _

_When Nikki left, Helen ran her fingers over her lips. She couldn't believe Nikki just kissed her. What she couldn't have imagined was the affect it had on her. It rocked her foundation. In truth, that short kiss awakened her desires. She was starting to feel flushed and a wet feeling overcame her. She tried to snap out of this dream that she thought she was under. It doesn't mean anything. I'm sure loads of women have felt this way. It's just a passing moment she kept telling herself. She had to block it out. She would pretend that she didn't remember. She didn't want Nikki to feel uncomfortable when they were together. This was shite._

_When Nikki came back with more tea she found Helen fast asleep. She was a little disappointed but also felt a huge relief. She slowly removed Helen's shoes and went to find a light blanket to cover her. She watched Helen sleep for a few minutes and thought how beautiful she looked sleeping. She looked like an angel. Then Nikki bent down and kissed Helen's forehead._

_"Goodnight Helen, you probably won't remember this in the morning." And with that Nikki went into her bedroom._

* * *

_Helen woke up with a massive hangover. Her mouth was dry and brittle and her eyes felt drained of its colour. She couldn't even remember how she got there. When Helen tried to get up her head felt woozy like the room was going to spin 'round. She had to lie back down because she felt like she was going to pass out. I'm such a friggin' nutter she thought to herself. Why do I allow myself to drink too much? Helen anguished while struggling to get herself off the bed. She needed a shower badly. She smelled of stale alcohol and her mouth tasted like an old shoe. _

_When she turned her head towards Nikki's bedroom she noticed that her door was opened. She finally got up and notice a note on the coffee table. 'Went for an early run. Be back soon' the note stated. She knew this was a perfect opportunity to slip out of Nikki's place and head home. She would leave Nikki a note explaining she would see her back at the office. She knew she was being a coward but she needed to get home fast and deal with life later. She couldn't remember the night event 'cept that she was jealous that Nikki received so many offers. Once Helen arrived at her apartment she made her way to the bathroom she tried to remember how she got to Nikki's loft. It was going through as broken segments. She remembered drinking too much and getting sick. Helen started to sweat excessively and her stomach was doing a number on her. When she reached the sink she emptied whatever was left from last night. Damn, she knew that she needed to get her head straight. She mustn't allow herself to drink to a stupor. _

_Helen turned on the shower and removed her clothes slowly. Once inside the shower the warm water felt wonderful on her skin. She allowed the water to caress her head feeling the ripples drip off her body and then she felt mortified. She closed her eyes and began to remember the events. She couldn't remember it all but she remembered Nikki kissing her. Maybe it was a dream…no, she knew better. What she couldn't remember was Nikki's reaction. Shite, Helen chastised her mental state for being such an ass. Why did I go and allow the kiss? Well I know bloody why, 'cause she gorgeous and she makes you feel like melted butter. How in the name of Heaven, am I to act in front of her now? She knew Nikki would probably be disgusted by her own actions and knew that Nikki might want to avoid her. Maybe I'll pretend to not remember she thought to herself. Helen decided that if Nikki didn't bring up the kiss then she sure wasn't about to rehash it. Helen got dressed and decided brew some tea. She needed a distraction right now. She knew that she would have to worry about the repercussions later. _

_Helen's doorbell rang. She wondered if she should answer her door. What if it was Nikki? Was she ready to face her so soon? Then again it could be work she thought to herself._

_"Hello, and good morning." Helen said, her voice cracked as she opened the door. "Did you come to check on me dear?"_

_"Did you just get in?" Claire asked, grinning at Helen who looked like she hadn't slept in years._

_"Just about an hour ago." Helen said looking at Claire who had a knowing look on her face._

_"So, where did you crash last night? At Nikki's place?" Claire smiled giving Helen a demure grin in return. "Did you get a shag by any chance?"_

_"Take the piss, why are you so interested in my sex life?" Helen said in disgust. She had a headache and she couldn't believe how intrusive Claire was becoming. "Nikki's just a good friend who was kind enough to take care of me in my mental state."_

_"Is that all. You're so guarded all of a sudden and I am not being intrusive when I know you're hiding something from me." Claire said standing her ground. "I know you were drunk last night, but that doesn't explain the sexual tension between the two of you."_

_"What are you getting at?" Helen said, defending herself and yet feeling exposed._

_"Look, I'm your best mate and I notice these things. I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything." Claire said, reaching out and rubbing Helen's arm._

_"I got so pissed last night that I can't even remember what I did. I woke up this morning in a strange surrounding until I realised I was at Nikki's loft. Gosh, I can be so incorrigible at times." Helen sat down with her tea and a couple of biscuits._

_"So Nikki a perfect gentlewoman and nothing happened?" Helen gave her a judgmental look._

_"Would you prefer if I said we made mad passionate love all evening." Helen looked at Claire who was grinning widely. "You're unbelievable and I can't believe you would think so low of me or Nikki." _

_"So what did you two end up doing?" Claire gave her a curious look. "How was your ride home with Nikki?"_

_Helen almost choked on her biscuit. Does anything get pass her? "What is that supposed to mean?" Helen tried to avoid the question. "Nothing happened. I fell asleep on Nikki's couch. She was kind enough to take me in. That's all."_

_"Why do I get the feeling you're avoiding something." Claire glared at her. She knew by Helen's body language that something did not add up._

_"Give it a rest, please," Helen said rolling her eyes over Claire. "I like Nikki, but it's not what you're thinking. I feel comfortable with her and I trust her with my life." Helen said, realising what her words meant. _

_"Listen Helen, I don't know what's going on with you and Nikki. I sense attraction from Nikki and in all honesty I sense it from you too. I believe you fancy her more than just a friend and maybe that's frightening to admit but I sense a crisis within you." Claire gazed over at Helen, arms crossed. "Nikki's a babe. And I'll be honest I find her very attractive and if I felt that she was into me I'd me on her like shit on a fly."_

_Helen was flabbergasted that Claire could read her so easily. Was she easily read like an open book or did Claire understand her like no one else. Would she lie to Claire or tell her a little something? She took a deep breath. "Okay, honestly, I do feel some attraction towards Nikki." Helen wasn't about to confess to love. "I think I just feel flattered by Nikki's attention. But she's a woman for God's sake. I shouldn't be feeling this way."_

_Claire gave her a weary look. "Look Helen, it's none of my business but I hope you are being honest with yourself and your feelings for Nikki. Don't lead Nikki on if you're just confused. I think she really likes you. And then there's Sean your fiancé." Claire said. "Are you being honest with him. Do you even love him? Because I always believed that you're just running from things."_

_Helen felt incensed but she knew Claire was right and that bothered her. "I know what I am doing and nothing is going to happen with Nikki."_

_"I'm you're best mate and I'm just concerned. You're judgement is not always right when it comes to past relationships."_

_"What are you banging about. You must have me confused with someone else." Helen spat back. "Listen, nothing is going on between me and Nikki. First of all, I am straight and engaged, and I'm not interesting in getting myself into a situation that I can't handle." Helen said trying to convince Claire and herself that she had the situation all under control. _

_Claire looked at Helen suspiciously. She knew that Helen could be playing a dangerous game with Sean and Nikki, considering Sean jealous nature. She knew she had no right prying but she also knew how Helen avoided difficult situation. She could understand her attraction towards Nikki as she seemed very charming and witty. The short interaction she noticed between Nikki and Helen was electrifying and there was no denying that both woman felt something. She knew Helen would try to control her feelings as she did in the past, but she didn't believe Helen would be able to fool herself but Helen had a certain glow about herself when ever she mentioned Nikki's name. She never looked at Sean that way or had that glow when she was with him. She knew Helen was making a mistake if she allowed herself to get married. When Helen first hooked up with Sean, she thought Sean was not right for her. But she didn't want to run Helen's life. All she could do was be her friend._

_"Listen, I'm just going to the office. I need to get some work done. I'll see you later." Helen said feeling tired and weary._

_"Okay, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears." Claire squeeze Helen's arm. "I just want you to be happy. You can trust me babe and I love you silly bird."_

_"I love you too," Helen replied. She squeezed Claire's arm. "Thanks."_


	13. Chapter 13

Okay, so this chapter is a little longer than most of my chapters, but seeing that next week in Christmas, I thought I would treat everyone since I probably will not be able to post another chapter until the new year as I will busy with the holidays, family and work. This chapter is a little heavy on the brain, but I hope everyone enjoys reading it as I enjoyed writing it. Again, let me know your views or options. Everyone have a Merry Christmas and New Happy Year. Let there be peace and love in everyone's life. Enjoy.

_**Chapter 13**_

_"Mind if we sit down, Colin?" Helen asked. Colin Hedges made no reply but sat down anyway. Helen produced a micro-cassette recorder from her pocket, turned it on, and placed it on the table. "We'll make a recording of our conversation here, Colin," she explained casually. "So that we're sure we got all the details straight when we get back to the station to write our reports. Is that all right with you?"_

_Hedges nodded wearily, dragging a hand back through his hair. He looked tired and worn. "I'll need you to answer out loud, Colin," Helen replied. "So we can get it on the recorder."_

_"Yeah, sure, I suppose that's fine, but is this all really necessary," as tried to clear his throat. Distress etched lines beside his mouth. "What about the body...where did they take the body?" he asked, his voice closing off on the last words._

_"That is information that doesn't pertain to you, unless you're family. But don't worry, the medical examiner will let us know how he died." Helen explained. She could see Jim standing off to the left and wondered when he was going to put his snout into the line of questioning._

_Hedges looked up and looked at Helen, but avoiding her eyes, "I understand."_

_"What do you do for a living, Colin?" Helen replied._

_"I'm a Medical Doctor," he replied quickly._

_"Do you live here, with Mason?" Fenner said, grinning to himself. _

_"No."_

_Helen cringed upon hearing Jim's comments. She wanted to get up and slap Jim across the face but sat there hoping that Jim's big gob wouldn't tarnish the silver._

_"What brought you to the house? Where you looking for something? Were you supposed to meet Mason?" Helen said, trying to control the conversation. She wasn't going to let Jim get the upper hand._

_"We were supposed to meet the other day. I wanted to see how he was doing but when he didn't show and didn't answer my calls I became concerned so I dropped by." He said his voice brittle._

_"What was your relationship with Mason?" Jim interjected abruptly. He had a knack of asking questions that where out to left field._

_"We're old mates," Colin replied coldly. Present tense. "From college if you must know."_

_"Suppose you tell us," Jim said, like a hunter getting closer to his kill. "What kind of mates exactly are you two?"_

_Pierce's brow creased. "I ain't no queer if that's where you're heading Detective. We did the usually things, hang out, guys stuff." Hedges said annoyed with the line of questioning. "What are you suggesting, Detective?"_

_"I'm asking if the two of you had a sexual relationship," Jim said with calm bluntness._

_Hedges looked as if his head might explode. "I'm ma...married. Not that it's any of your business. What does this have to do with anything?"_

_"We have a dead body in case you forgotten," Jim said. "That makes everything my business. What about Mason?"_

_"Mason is not queer," Hedges said resentment bitter in his eyes. "Does that make it all right that he's dead? If this is the questions I'm going to be asked then I might want to speak with my lawyer."_

_"That's enough Jim," Helen said, rather abruptly. The sodding git was making a fool of himself, much to Helen's chagrin. "There won't be any need for a lawyer since you're not under arrest."_

_Jim spread his hands, ignoring Helen. "Hey, I don't care who plugs what in where. I just need a frame of reference for my investigation."_

_"You have a real way with words, Detective, Fenner I presume." Hedges replied, looking at Jim coldly. Sodding bastard he thought. He would like to stick a needle in his neck and watch him suffer._

_Helen watched his face carefully. Hedges face paled, a sense of cold hostility washed his demeanour. Sensing a squabble Helen got up and walked towards Jim. "Jim why don't you find Dominic and see if there is anything he has uncovered, anything that can help us with this investigation. Make some calls, get on with things."_

_Jim nostrils flared in anger. "I'd much rather stay in here."_

_Helen leaned over, inches apart from Jim's face. She could see the pours on his face as his face turned red with anger. "I'd rather you don't. So piss off, please." She said with a mocking tone as she grinned._

_They both stood there a few seconds as Nikki walked into the room. Sensing tension Nikki quickly said, "Jim, Dominic asked me to tell you that he needed your help."_

_Helen sneered in delight. "That's your queue Jim, so if you don't mind I have business to finish up."_

_"This is not over, Helen." Jim said, reluctantly leaving the room. That bitch he thought to himself._

_Helen sat back down trying to recompose herself. "You said Mason wanted to talk something over with you," she prompted, diverting his attention to her, allowing her to watch every facial expression. "Do you know why?"_

_"No. He didn't say much." Hedges explained, slowly letting his guard down._

_"When did you last speak with him?" Helen said. "I mean before you called him to meet up."_

_Hedges cut her a sideways look, the resentment lingering. "Um, I don't recall, I guess it was a while ago."_

_"So the two of you were supposed to meet a couple of days ago, but Mason was a no-show." Helen felt something was not adding up. There was something unsettling about Colin Hedges. Something peculiar about his story that just didn't add up but she didn't know why._

_"I called a couple of times, but only got the machine. He never called back. I decided to come by. See if everything was all right." He said._

_"We checked his answering machine and there was no messages." Helen said, her brow upright._

_"I didn't leave a message." Hedges quickly responded, fidgeting with his hands, looking down._

_"Are you sure you called him?" Helen responded, the question with an accusations tone._

_"Are you accusing me of something, Detective?" He stood his ground looking straight at her._

_"Should I be?" Helen demanded. "You understand why I am asking you? Mason is dead and I want to make sure I have all the facts correct."_

_Hedges looked at Helen trying to gauge her reaction then looked down at his hands. He was tired and he certainly didn't need some Detective asking him questions. "Look, I...I was concerned since he didn't respond."_

_"Why wouldn't you just think he was busy? Maybe he was out." Helen asked. "He was rather anti-social." Nikki looked on as she watched the interaction between Helen and Colin Hedges. She watched Hedges and noticed his behaviour. He seemed like a man with concern for his friend, yet, it was almost as if he knew something had happened to Mason. She knew from his body language and behaviour that he did not kill Mason. Still, something didn't add up in her thoughts. It was as if he was hiding something. She didn't understand why she felt that way about him but there was definitely something she thought. She always had a knack understand people's behaviours. It was a quality she didn't know why she possessed, she just knew she had it._

_Hedges glared at Helen. "Pardon me for being concerned about a friend. I guess I should just be an arsehole like you. I could be at my office now. I could have saved myself the trouble of..." He cut himself off as the image rose in his memory again. Colin Hedges face was still red but with a waxy sheen to it now as he looked out the window, as if the sight of the rain, might cool and soothe him._

_"Why did you go into the house? You must've seen the police tape." Helen said. "Did you have a key?"_

_"The door wasn't locked and I was worried that something bad happened." Colin said, fidgeting with a piece of paper._

_Helen cursed inwardly. That bastard Fenner was supposed to make sure the house was cornered off with an officer there at all times. Although the case was now official closed by Simon as a suicide, Helen was under no illusion that Mason wasn't murdered. She knew Fenner was being a prick. _

_"Had he talk about suicide? Had he seemed depressed?" Nikki interjected, looking over at Colin._

_Hedges looked up to see an attractive woman who he guessed was not a Detective. He felt strangely probed by her. "He had seemed...fri...frustrated. He was little down, yes, but not to the point that he'd kill himself. I don't know. Maybe, I'm putting too much into it." Hedges said, stopping, then allowing himself to think clearly. "I won't lie, but the thought did cross my mind."_

_ "What did Colin?" Helen asked, listening to his every word._

_"About Mason killing himself," he replied nervously._

_"But you just mentioned a few seconds ago that you didn't think that Mason would ever kill himself." Nikki asked looking straight into Hedges dark eyes. Again there was something strange about the way he looked. Maybe she was imagining it but his body language told a different story. She felt he was lying about something but she had no proof._

_Hedges turned his head across to face Nikki. He looked surprised at first then quietly said, "Listen, Mason had problems as I am sure you're aware. He was depressed about things."_

_"Depressed about what?" Helen asked._

_Hedges made a helpless gesture. "I don't know. The whole investigation, he was always high on something. He seemed to be shutting off."_

_"What about other relationships?" Nikki asked. "Was he involved with anyone?"_

_"No."_

_"How can you be sure?" Helen asked._

_"We were friends." Hedges said, looking annoyed and tired. _

_"Aside from the door being unlocked," Helen said, "did anything seem to be missing or out of place?"_

_"Not that I noticed but it wasn't like I was looking, though. And it wasn't long since I was interrupted by some rookie officer."_

_Helen's mobile ran. "Sorry, I need to take this." Helen stopped the recorder and after a few minutes she explained to Colin Hedges that they had enough for now and that they would be in touch. _

_Once outside the door Helen and Nikki walked towards her car._

_"Yes, but Mason complained that he was assaulted by an officer," Nikki pointed out._

_"So?"_

_"So, Mason had complained to us about harassment by officers."_

_"And you're saying maybe a cop killed him because of it?" Helen said. "Jesus, Nikki. You want to believe that, maybe you ought to apply for this job."_

_"Sod you, Helen," she snapped back. "I'm just trying to look at this case from a different position. Something tells me that one of the killers is probably in law enforcement. I still believe that and I thought you were on the same page as me."_

_"Sorry for snapping at you," Helen replied. "I'm a little tired and I know we discussed that option, but it's hard to believe." She knew something wasn't right about this case. Maybe she was still rattled by Nikki and what happened the other night. Part of her wanted to know why Nikki kissed her and the other part did not want to open Pandora's Box. She was still reeling from the affects and tried not to feel awkward around Nikki. She didn't want to give Nikki reason for her indifferent behaviour. She knew Nikki would be too clever to fool so as long as Nikki didn't bring it up, there was no way that she would._

_"Is something bothering you?" Nikki asked wondering if Helen was acting different because she remembered everything that happened that evening. Maybe Helen was being polite as not to embarrass her. She didn't know how long she could keep up the charade. She wanted to tell Helen how she felt. She wanted to tell her that she was attracted to her but didn't know how Helen would react and how it would affect their working relationship. Nikki felt imprudent and she hated feeling that way._

_"And of course that buffoon Simon has given the order that the book is all but closed on Mason's death," Helen said, looking out at the street. "Ruled a suicide, bollocks."_

_"You don't like it either, Helen," Nikki said quietly. "You can feel it in your gut, can't you?" Helen didn't answer her right away. "I know I can't be the only one, but did you find something oddly strange about Colin Hedges?"_

_"Yes Nikki, I did notice something peculiar," Helen said at last. "I don't like anything about this case. Mason's dead and we're no closer to finding the killers." Helen shook her head. "And what's strange about this whole mess is I believe Mason was a loner. He had social problems. How well did Colin Hedges know him?" _

_"Won't hurt to ask a few more questions. Of the record of course" Nikki said, knowing it sounded too much like something for the famous final words. "I get a real sick sense that Colin is hiding something. Was he a friend or foe to Mason? Either way, Mason is dead and so are the answers we seek."_

_"Let's pay a visit to the morgue." Helen said. "Hopefully the other victims had parchment down their throats too." Even though she felt some tension between her and Nikki, she was still glad that Nikki was with her. She finally admitted to herself that she was attracted to Nikki. Her talk with Claire helped but it left her no more wiser to what she should do with her feelings, except that she needed to forget that Nikki made her feel something she wasn't supposed to feel. She closed her eyes and let the cool air permeate her body as she pondered what to do._

* * *

_"And hello to you Helen," Cassie Tyler said. "Okay, so far this is what we have found on the victims. I looked over victims #3 and #4 as requested by Crystal and also found parchment shoved down their throats. I can't believe we missed it. We matched all the dental records so I will fax you all the copies." Cassie motioned for both Nikki and Helen to a magnified overhead. "I have the pieces of parchment for your viewing._

_Helen and Nikki examined it closely. They were the same __modus operandi by the killer. _

"_**Revelations 21:8: but the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone…**__" Nikki read outloud._

_Helen continued, "__**Romans 5:12: wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned…**__" Both Nikki and Helen looked at each other. "Don't you hate when religion get distorted by sick individuals who use it for their own agenda." _

"_As incredible as it sounds, these killers live in a world defined by holy judgment and killing these girls are justified in a way as a baptism of fire." Nikki explained. __"Those who do not repent will suffer greatly, but they will carry out their judgement to pure the impure souls."_

"_Baptism of fire?" Helen said, looking at Nikki confused. She wasn't religious in her viewing. _

"_I indeed baptise you in water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptise you in the Holy Spirit and in fire." Nikki recited to Helen. "The phrase baptism by fire or baptism of fire is a phrase originating from the words of John the Baptist in Matthew 3:11._

"_You lost me Nikki," Helen replied, raising her brow at Nikki wondering what the hell she was getting at._

__"The phrase also occurs in Luke 3:16 and it might be taken as a reference to the fiery trial of faith which endures suffering and purifies the faithful." _Nikki laughed but continued. "The promise, 'he shall baptise you in the Holy Spirit,' has reference to the apostles. The Savior's testimony in Acts 1 establishes this: 'John indeed baptised with water; but you shall be baptised in the Holy Spirit not many days hence." Nikki said as Helen looked at Nikki with awe. Was there anything she didn't know? She was rather surprised that Nikki knew a lot about the bible and religion. But then again, it seemed that Nikki was a woman with many surprises. Nikki was someone who she could relate to and she felt as if she could understand her values, but most of all, Nikki was someone who could reach into her soul. It scared her. Being with Sean, she didn't expose herself and she could control her life and emotions. But with Nikki, she felt so exposed and she had no control over her emotions. _

_"Reminds me of a Dire Straight song, in which taken from one of the lines 'through the fields of destruction, baptisms of fire." Helen smiled. _

_"There's two distinct baptisms - one by the Spirit, one by fire; including trial and testing of disciples, or the destruction by Christ of his enemies." Nikki stated. "To overwhelm with fire; those who do not repent will be subjected to the abysmal penalties of hell. The fire of Divine retribution or judgment."_

_"If you believe in all that religious nonsense." Helen replied, feeling somewhat jaded. She was not religious at all and hated when people tried to use religion as a reason for war, or a reason to cleanse the world of impurity. Like a genocide, hiding behind factious preachers and hate mongers. Why couldn't people respect others differences. Who had the moral right to judge others and call sinners? If God existed, he would not have wanted his people slay another and use his words for their own advantage. "__I stopped believing in the existence of God from an early age, because there seemed to be no evidence for the kind of supernatural power asserted by those around me. I don't see my lack of religious belief as a matter of ideology, which is why I prefer the term 'non-believer' to the term 'atheist'. Does that sound harsh?"_

_"Not at all." Nikki shook her head. Everyone had a right to believe in their own moral fibre. "'Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.' John 1:9:11." Nikki said. "I won't say I'm religious but I do believe in God, but I do not agree with this passage. To agree with this passage means I am immortal in my beliefs being a lesbian. Why is it wrong to be gay and believe in God?" Nikki stated, not as a question to Helen but a question she struggled daily to those who want to condemn her for simply loving another woman._

_"I don't think there is anything wrong with you Nikki." Helen said giving her a smile. "Why someone would disparage or belittle the worth of another being is bollocks. Those who kindle in hatred or prejudice to me are the wicked and forbidding souls cloaked in disguise."_

_"So, can I be saved?" Nikki said, smiling. At least she still had her right sense and humour. "And they entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and with all their soul, but that whoever would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether young or old, man or woman." Chronicles 15:12-13."_

_"How can anyone be so punishing in their words? As if words didn't kill." Helen remarked. "Are we just zombies or puppets, walking on this Earth?"_

_"There is a lot of wonderful teaching and I believe the message of God is to love and love thy neighbour." Nikki stated. "The problem with the bible, it is easily misinterpreted and there are those who like Hitler believed that one pure race was only intended, and that all who are different by nature, should be eradicated. Just like our killers, they believe they are justified in their killings." _

_"You amaze me with your knowledge and caring nature. I just love hearing you talk about things. The way you explain yourself in words is enlightening even for a poor soul like me." Helen laughed. "But please do continue enlightening me with your words." She didn't know why but she found it sexy when Nikki let her words flow like poetry. As if she was a lover reciting her words, although, at this moment, the words were religious in nature and the crime heinous._

_"Okay," Nikki smiled back at Helen._ _She would give the moon and stars to this woman if she could._ "_Verse ten says that 'every tree that brings not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.' Then, at the conclusion of verse twelve, Jesus continues: 'whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly cleanse his threshing-floor; and he will gather his wheat into the garner, but the chaff he will burn up with unquenchable fire.'" Nikki finished off. Most people were surprised at her vase knowledge but Nikki was a child who was always curious about things and who loved to read and she read anything she could get her hands on. "Sorry if I got off topic. My mind does that sometimes." _

"_No, I think you're on to something. We know __these sick individuals have a deep resentment towards women, or women they perceive abnormal or dirty." Helen said. "And like you said, he probably was rejected by someone he loved who had relations with women."_

"_Well I am glad I can assist you. But does this information get us any closer?" Nikki shook her head. "I am not sure how much of this will assist us."_

_Helen looked into Nikki's deep brown eyes and understood. They needed more evidence. "We know the killers doused their victims with a chloroform-soaked rag to subdue them. They were all viciously raped, tortured, all had skin lacerations, burns. Victim #5 and #6 had punctured wounds, suggesting they were injected with something. Still waiting on toxicology." Helen replied_

"_Except for the latest victim," Nikki interjected. _

"_He waited until she was dead to torture her body, which might seem out of respect for her." Helen said._

"_As if it justified her killing. I believe our killer blends easily." Nikki said, remembering how the young victim looked like Trisha. For a moment, she wondered if there could be a connection but decided that it was all in her head. She was still holding on to the memories of Trisha and what happened. She wondered if she should tell Helen. The only soul who knew what she hid so long was her godmother Barbara. _

_"At least we know who they were and how they died. Now all we have to do is figure out who killed them." Helen said knowing it wasn't going to be an easy task considering the lengths these killers went to hide their tracks. They had a bread crumb, now all they needed was to find the trail of crumbs to find the loaf. Unfortunately, she knew that there were going to be more bodies and there was nothing they could do. It was shite._

_"So where do we go from here?" Nikki interjected, getting into Helen's car. "Will the identification be out in time for the ten o'clock news or can we wait until tomorrow?"_

_"We won't announce the names of the victims until we notify the parents," Helen said, her voice picking up energy. "We need to head back and debrief everyone with the latest findings. We need to get everyone on board. And I need you to give them your profile of the killer." Helen looked at Nikki. "There are those who are not going to like what you have to say so just be prepared, okay."_

_"Well up their bottoms," Nikki said with a harsh laugh. "It doesn't take a genuine to figure out why so many in your line of work take to the bottle. They lack humour and you cannot go on life without laughter."_

_"Cheers to that." Helen replied. "Well I'm glad you have a wonderful sense of humour because it's refreshing in my life on work."_

_"I take orders," Nikki said, leaning closer to Helen. "I'm expensive though, but I could give you a discount. Two for one coupon for a humour night at my place."_

_Helen laughed. "Well, I'm a hard critic so you better have loads of tricks up your sleeve if you're going to get me laughing."_

_"I'm sure I can handle someone like you." Nikki smiled, showing her teeth and wiggling her nose. "But if you're serious, I have an opening tonight at 'Warehouse of Laughter' at the Wade resident. Dress code; clothes is optional." She said with a serious face, trying hard not to laugh out-loud._

_Helen almost fell into a fit of giggles. Nikki was too comical. "I'll wear my bunny suit then. And I do mean the playboy bunny suit."_

_Now it was Nikki's turn to cough out-loud. "Damn woman, are you winding me up?" She said moving closer, knowing as she closed the distance between them Helen would become awkward._

_"I'm not telling you anything," Helen said, not skipping a beat. She knew what Nikki was trying to do and it didn't bother her. She was getting use to Nikki's playful moves._

_"There are ways to get someone to talk," Nikki grinned. "But I've said too much already."_

_Helen eyes widen, as she continued looking at Nikki. "Remember," she said, smiling. "I am the one with the gun and hand-cuffs. Looks to me I have the upper hand." She cheerfully said._

_"Aye, but who's the ticklish one?" Nikki said, as if she was gesturing her hands towards Helen._

_"Not so fast Nicola Wade," Helen said, knowing that calling her 'Nicola' would make her cringe. "I would have to charge you with harassing an officer."_

_"Since when did tickling someone become harassment?" Nikki said, giving Helen her innocent look._

_"I'll lie," Helen said playfully. "I'm a very convincing lair."_

_Nikki smiled and started laughing out-loud. "You're one to be hold." She said, giggling in her seat. "This reminds me of a Madonna song. 'To have and not to hold'." She said to Helen who was pouting._

_"What is that supposed to mean?" She said, giving Nikki a pretend attitude._

_"How would like me to rephrase that?" Nikki said, sticking her tongue out and thinking about how she was going to word it. "You're the kind of woman who wants to be 'have'…you want attention but not too much of it. You want to control, but not to dominate. You want someone to make love to you, but not cling onto you. The 'hold' part is your mechanism to keep the people you care about at bay. You want to be loved but you don't want to lose yourself. You're like a porcelain doll, you can touch it but you cannot hold it."_

_Helen looked at Nikki with such amazement. Was she really like that? Did she really have commitment issues? She thought about her relationship with Sean and the previous men she dated that never seemed to last or she never gave herself or her whole heart. Why was she like that? She was so full of life when she was younger. When did that all change? Then she thought about her brother's death and the trauma she felt. Was that her trigger point? Was her relationship with her father also a root cause? She didn't understand but she knew Nikki was right. But why was Nikki able to see through her? _

_"Do you really think I am what you just described me?" Helen said, in a weak voice._

_Nikki gave Helen a warm smile as she reached across and put her hand over Helen's. "I think you're a wonderful, caring, passionate woman." She said, holding on to Helen's hand. Helen did not move her hand away. She allowed herself to feel Nikki's warmth. "We all have our glass walls up high. It just takes someone to come along and break them."_

_"What does that say about Sean?" Helen said boldly even though she knew the answer._

_"I'm not here to question your relationship with him or the people in your life." Nikki said, squeezing Helen's hand. "I'm not here to judge you either. I have many ghost hidden in my closet. And to be honest I have commitment issues. What I am saying, is that I have grown to care about you." What Nikki really wanted to say was that she was in love with her. She wanted to tell her that she wanted to be the person who shattered her glass walls. She wanted to be that someone who would 'hold' her. But reality was cruel and Helen was in a relationship with Sean. _

_"You care about me?" Helen said, almost shocked by the revelation. She knew Nikki liked her because she kissed her, but did she feel something else?_

_"Oh course silly bird." Nikki said, moving her hand to caress Helen's face. "I'm rather fond of you, but don't let that get into your head." Nikki said, trying to sound serious. "Don't look so frightened."_

_"I'm not frightened." Helen replied shyly. She enjoyed Nikki's fingers on her face. It wasn't in a sexual nature, but a kind gesture. A warmth that she lacked with Sean. She looked at Nikki and realised her attraction to Nikki was becoming stronger. She didn't look away. Both woman looked at each other for a little while longer without words. Just enjoying the silence between them. Then finally, Helen spoke. "I care about you too?" She said as if the words flowed through her so naturally._

_Nikki smiled and rested her hand over Helen's as they both breathed in quietly. Their friendship cemented. Whatever they were feeling would wait for another day, another time. They sat in the car for a little longer before Helen turned on the car and drove off to face what they knew was going to be a tedious investigation._

* * *

"_Everyone, I want your attention fully on Nikki Wade. If you have any questions or concerns please discuss it with Helen as she is in charge." Chief Superintendent Neil Grayling said, addressing his officers._

"_I suspect the killer is a white male, probably between the ages of 30 to 35, although I acknowledge that that range could be off. The killer probably drives an older-model vehicle, either a van or a four-door car. This gives him easier access to his victims." Nikki noted, "The killer probably has very strong personal feelings of inadequacy, and probably grew up in a family fragmented by marital discord." Nikki suggested. "His mother consistently nagged her son, particularly when he rebelled against all authority figures. __Alcoholic father and a fanatically religious mother, who ruled the household with her puritanical preaching about the sins of lust and carnal desires. __He most likely had difficulty in school, which caused him to probably drop out college, although that might not be the case. And he has average or slightly above-average intelligence." Nikki said catching her breath. "Don't be fooled, he is very clever and thinks he's smart enough to get away with the murders." _

"_Are you saying that Mason is no longer a suspect because he killed himself?" One of the officers said obnoxiously._

_Helen nostril flared as she couldn't believe how indiscreet some of them acted. "What we're saying is that there is someone out there killing young women and we need to be vigilant."_

_Nikki looked towards Helen waiting for the nod for her to continue. "The killer is probably married with no children. He does not, nor has ever had, (a sexual) aversion towards women," Nikki noted. "He feels that he has been burned or been lied to and fooled by women one too many times. In his way of thinking, women are no good and cannot be trusted, and he feels women will prostitute themselves for whatever reason. When he sees women openly parading themselves, this makes his blood boil." But, Nikki went on, "the killer is drawn to the vicinity of college girls because of failures with significant women in his life during that time, and in all probability he has been dumped by a woman for another woman." _

"_Are you saying he is targeting lesbians?" Dominic asked as if Nikki knew something he didn't. If Nikki was right, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, especially with some officers who were homophobic. He had to admit to himself, Nikki was definitely a sharp tool and as jealous as he felt towards her, he was glad that someone of her calibre was helping them._

"_It's too early to determine what his true motives are but yes I believe he is killing gay/bi-sexual women or women he perceive to be abnormal. The killer will have trouble sleeping, and has a 'generally nocturnal nature.' Nikki suggested, keeping her nerves calm. _

"_The killer probably seeks relations with prostitutes as he is not able to pick up college girls. He may pose as a policeman or other authority figure. He may talk to others about the murders, and he may keep news clippings about the crimes." Helen said. _

"_Remember the subject is killing," Nikki concluded, "because the victims are not listening to his preaching regarding their sexual activities, or he perceive they are mocking him or looking down at him. He is an angry individual who demonstrates power over his victim and enjoys the publicity he is receiving. He uses religion as a way to justify his actions. But don't be misled because nothing suggest he is a practicing Catholic. There was a break in his mental state, which I believe happened during his college years and progressed as he got older._

"_How can you be so certain of this?" Jim said, sneering. "What if you're wrong and we go chasing a ghost. Precious time would be lost and can we afford to be so brash?"_

_Nikki clenched her teeth as she wanted to wipe that smile from his gob. How did a moron like him become a DI? He got his head so far up Simon Stubberfield arse that he couldn't see directions to a map if he looked at it. She was about to say something but from the corner of her eye, she could see Helen move forward as if she was ready to lunge at Jim and asphyxiate him with her bare hands. How much she wished she would witness it, but she bit her lip holding herself back. _

"_Listen Jim," Helen said indifferently with reproach to a child who was disobedient. "Get your arse of your high horse and stop sticking your fingers in a mouse trap." She looked at him with fierce determination. "If you paid attention, you would know Nikki is a Clinical Psychology with a Doctrine. She is someone who can give us insight on the killer. So stop your trivial grievances and sit your arse down."_

"_But she isn't a Criminal profiler," Jim argued. He didn't like Helen making him look like a chump._

"_I believe Nikki insights are far superior and her contribution to this case has been immeasurably. What I need is everyone to have an open mind and work together to catch this killer." She looked straight at Jim not backing down. "Now, if you do not have any thought-provoking philosophies, I would appreciate keeping your gob shut. Unless, you have knowledge that we minions overlooked. By all mean, do give us your acumens Jim."_

_Jim felt all eyes on him and he felt once again idiotic. He gave Helen an icy stare as he sat down on his chair fuming. _

"_Please continue Nikki." Helen said, turning to Nikki and giving her a weak smile. She didn't like Jim trying to discredit Nikki. She felt protective over Nikki and it felt good._

"_The communiqué reflects someone who is making a feeble and amateurish attempt to gain some personal importance by manipulating the investigation." Nikki stated._

"_Nikki predicted the killer would return to the crime scene. He lacks the understanding of what it would feel like to go through what he put people through," said Helen addressing the officers. _

"_So maybe what's required is not just how you're raised in your first few years, but also faulty wiring and genetics and what happens to you as an adult" Dominic said. "There's a lot of questions we still can't answer." _

"_Such killers are psychotic and suffer from 'breaks' with reality. They hear voices or see visions that tell them to kill, and may, often suffer from severe schizophrenia. Usually, someone else in the family line have had mental illness. These murders are usually not sexually motivated. The mission killer seeks to rid the world of people they've deemed useless or undesirable. The victims of mission killers may include homosexuals, prostitutes, pedophiles, or drug addicts. The characteristics that make the killer single out one particular type of victim may be real or perceived. The killer is not considered psychotic, and like the visionary killer, the murders are typically not sexually motivated." Nikki explained_

"_How the hell are we supposed to know the difference?" Jim said, as Nikki rolled her eyes. As usually, Jim had to open his gob about nothing. She just ignored his silly rants._

"_He sounds like the 'Riverside' killer." Mark Waddle interjected. "Didn't he decapitate their heads?"_

_Helen nodded her head. "He picked up young, confused college girls. He would strangle or stab them, then decapitate their bodies. That done, he would take them home and violate their headless bodies, not to mention their heads alone and, as if he wasn't being disgusting enough, their internal organs. He also enjoyed cannibalism. This doesn't tell us that the team of Doctors were incompetent, it just tells us that serial killers are often highly intelligent, manipulative people."_

"_Are you saying our killer is into cannibalism." One of the offices said. _

"_No, that is not what we are saying. Everyone please listen carefully." Helen stated. _

"_The killer is probably a handsome, charismatic psychopathic who blends easily. He's very adept and glib con artist. The killing of the college girls six years prior were more than likely ghoulish rituals in his mind. No connections was ever made prior. Over 20 potential suspects were interviewed, but the case was never solved. There seemed to be plenty of evidence but not enough to nail any one of them conclusively." Helen spoke to all the officers._

"_Again the killer will be most likely married and his unsuspecting wife will have no clue she is living with a serial killer. This killer has researched psychopathic minds in order to be elusive. We need to stop this maniac from preying on any more female citizens." Nikki said passionately. _

"_We need only the best to organise the analysis of physical evidence like fingerprints, footprints, and other manifestations at a crime scene. We need to be diligent. Expect this case to become a cat-and-mouse game. There are many theories about the murderer's identity. As we know murder can be a daily occurrence. This psychopathic killer will torture into an unspeakable art form as he experimented on the young victims, giving us new meaning to the concept of 'evil'". Helen stammered._

_Everybody was busy reading the files. The days ahead were going to be long._

_Helen opened her mouth wondering what to say next. "DNA evidence is the greatest advantage we have in crime and punishment. These passages from the scriptures connects these killings. They are not random by chance. He wants us to find these messages. They have meaning for him." _

_Nikki injected, "His need to dominate women. To him it's an addiction, spurred by hatred. He enjoys the horrifying act of the innocent looks on their faces, with eyes wide with terror because they had guessed what was to come. Our killers are individuals who comes from out of the fog, kill violently and quickly then disappears without a trace. Then for no apparent reason, they satisfy their blood lust with ever-increasing ferocity, culminating in the near destruction on this act. The perfect ingredients for the perennial killers." _

_Dominic asked surprised, "You mentioned that you think there's two killers."_

"_There is another killer. The other killer as the prototypical battered and compliant accomplice. This would be a self-serving reorganization of what happened. They could be cousins or close friends. These type of killers is rare – the person who can persuade others to kill or harm others for him. It's quite unusual to have more than one person involved in such an extensive string of sexually sadistic murders. This and subsequent murders were distinguished by the amount of overkill; they bodies were literally stabbed-ridden. The other one very much under the influence of the other. The girls, lured and captured in well-planned schemes. One could be a reluctant facilitator of, or a willing participant. These killers set a new standard in depravity."_

"_How can you be so certain of this?" Jim sneered. _

"_The killers would be narcissistic. They are very diverse psychologically in the way they practice this deadly game of dominance and submission. At times they did it for utilitarian reasons and other times for no reason at all. The protagonist kill to satisfy their anger and their inclination to exercise power over those they consider their inferiors. The dominate killer was probably abused by a dominating and repulsive father figure, as he appears to engage in the violence as an extension of his eroticism and his freedom, while the other male simply likes to excise power. They are predators who love to kill. This demonstrate how the pair can develop a murderous drive together, partly from individual impulses to act out and partly because there's someone next to them who sees them at their worst and who nevertheless love and encourages them. He with low self-esteem feeds off any positive attention and a 'lone wolf' male is happy to have an admirer."_

"_If this is true, then catching them just became harder." One of the officer said. _

"_I believe the submissive killer suffered from a speech impediment in his younger years. Inevitably taunted by classmates and developing a hate against anyone who humiliated or ostracized him." Nikki said._

"_So are we looking for someone who has a speech impediment?" Dominic asked._

"_No, this killer would have gone to therapy to correct his difficulty. Although, under great stress his speech impediment would most likely come out as he would have a hard time controlling his emotions." Nikki stated._

"_We could be dealing with any bloke," Dominic replied. "But this can be a great asset to our investigation."_

"_Yes," Nikki answered. "The killers share the same emptiness and isolation. One of them is disillusioned. The victims' genitals were viciously slashed with a knife or sharp objects. These are characteristics of Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of human motivations; hunger, safety, social connection, self-esteem, and self-actualization. The self-esteem killers act out to feel better about themselves and to win admiration. It does seem like a feasible explanation for the crimes, but his philosophies indicate that he may have been motivated by the need for self-actualization, a step above self-esteem on Maslow's hierarchy. In other words, for him, killing appeared to be a creative expression of his nihilistic ideas about life. He didn't need a partner, but once he had one, all he had to do was persuade him to accept his philosophies."_

"_They are sick bastards," DI Lorna Rose said, shaking her head in disgust. _

"_He thinks he is beyond the law of society because he is a 'superior' man. He interprets that to mean that, should he decide to, he could kill someone at whim, without consequences. As for murder itself, viewed scientifically, the death of a human being is of no more significance than that of any other animal on earth. Serial killers are people who are unavoidably a failure in many normal walks of life. They lack patience, and eschews the kind of boredom that most other people accept. The serial killer has chosen to live a day as a lion, rather than decades as a sheep. Once he has committed homicide, he accepts his acts as normal, and the rest of humanity as subnormal. They might even share delusion known as folie a deux, an intellectual form of persuasion and conversion of one partner by another. It can only occur if the target person is fertile soil in which such proposals can readily take root. In other words, the criminal desire must already be present. Sometimes two partners are nearly equal in their capacity for atrocity, and their equal ability to suffer no remorse fuels a pattern of increasingly aggressive acts against others." Nikki said._

"_We are convinced that we are dealing two serial killers. Whoever was using this area to dump bodies must be very familiar with the neighbourhood to even know this place existed. Again no indication that murder had occurred where the bodies had been found, nor was there any evidence that the bodies had been dragged there. There again is the probability that more than one killer was involved in dumping their bodies on the hillside." Helen said to everyone. "Take a look at the quotes in front of you. They are all passages from the bible. I want everyone to be on the same page. The focus is finding these killers before the body count rises."_

* * *

_(Later that evening)_

_The figure entered the park, walking very strangely towards Nikki, dressed in white. She knew it was Trisha by a thousand signs, even from this distance. But it was a Trisha altered somehow. She disappeared intermittently behind the trees as she walked the curved path towards the building. As she drew nearer and nearer to her, she felt the day's cold slip itself beneath the folds of her coat, and a chill began between her shoulders and spread through her. She became momentarily frightened and stopped, but she soon realised the futility of that, so she took a few hesitant steps forwards, and then resumed her previous pace. _

_"Trisha," Nikki said as they met. "Trisha." Her tone had a horrible ingratiating quality to it, pleading, be quiet, please stop crying. Stop, please stop. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it. Please forgive me? You don't have to suffer anymore, I promise." She waved her hand to quiet Nikki as though she were choking. Her face was wet and her skin seemed very fine and delicate and glistened with rain. The air was pungent, it seemed the smell of death, for her head threw itself backwards and her throat pulsed and she sobbed quietly. _

_"Trisha? Are you..?" The hand waved again. This sorrow was not what Nikki had felt before, but hurt and pity and the inevitable self-pity that has no time for nobler thoughts. Nikki's bones petrified and her soul squealed, and then the look had passed. Trisha let loose a scream, a wavering and cracked scream of agony, then, pushed past Nikki. _

_"Forgive me, I let you down…I'm so sorry… - as though any single person could really take responsibility for death or love or anything else so large and terrifying._

_All of a sudden Nikki woke, her body wet from the sweat and her heart still pounding. Another bad dreams. They always came when the dark covered the skies. There was no escape._


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

_**(At Nikki's office)**_

_"You should sleep more, Nikki." A soft voice said._

_"Long hours doesn't afford me much sleep these days." Nikki replied. "Let's talk about the voices."_

_"It's important to let the mind rest. All sorts of ghost come out at night to haunt you, tempt you." Maxine said._

_"Do you see their faces?" Nikki asked, looking into the dark eyes that sat across her._

_She paused. "A mixture. Voices come first. Voices are always the worst."_

_"They're pleading with you? Asking for remorse?" Nikki questioned._

_"No." She smiled coolly. _

_"Then what are they saying?" Nikki replied._

_She smiled again. "I can't say that just yet. I like you Nikki and I trust you, but you have to be patient with me." She said, her hands placed neatly on the table. "You look different today."_

_Nikki looked at Maxine wondering what she meant by that. "Explain, please." She asked calmly._

_Maxine smiled and leaned back on her chair her eyes fixed on Nikki. She didn't care much for her safety or cared if she was sentenced to death even though she knew there was no death penalty in the country. Her days were filled with boredom and pills. She often got into trouble and had to be restrained many times. Life was not a gift to her. Her life was marred at an early age but she knew that she had that evil seed in her. Nothing could soothe her soul from the extreme hatred she felt on most days. So every week she looked forward to her session with Nikki. She also enjoyed toying Nikki, as she found Nikki equally as intriguing as she thought of herself. Nikki never judge her, never yelled at her even when she had cause too. "You're so sincere in your reproach." Maxine laughed. "Why are you so patient with me when the previous Psychologist that was deferred to me, quit on the first day. With her psychobabble bull-crap trying to tap into my unconscious mind as if I were some monster with behavioural disorders who needed to be chained in a dungeon all the while trying to hide her contempt towards me."_

_"I don't see you as a monster," Nikki explained. "I know you will try to get under my skin, try to sabotage our sessions, but that's irrelevant to me. To me you're a fifth-teen year old girl who just like everyone else has a history, a past. You too have felt pain, perhaps, in a small measure has felt love."_

_"Yes," Maxine grinned, "That's why I love you Nikki. I love your kind heart."_

_"It's easy to confuse kindness with love." Nikki stated, watching Maxine smile grow. But she knew Maxine was sincere about her declaration of love. She also knew the love Maxine was referring to was not in a sexual nature towards her. She sensed that Maxine felt as if she knew Nikki and to her that represented love. But then Maxine was different. There was something about the young girl that made Nikki want to know more. Something troubling, yet connected them. She didn't understand why she felt that way, but it was almost as if they shared a connected bond. Why that was, remained a mystery. _

_"I know you don't believe that," Maxine continued grinning at Nikki, the one person she trusted and who understood her. It was a reassuring feeling to a girl who only felt desolation, discontentment, and indignity. "And I also know you know what I meant by the word love."_

_"Yes I do." Nikki said, knowing the truth in those words. She knew if she treated her patients with humanity and perceptive ideology she would gain their acceptance, their trust. But in truth, she treated Maxine different. She was so young, misplaced in society, and she could also see a little of herself in Maxine. They shared the same intellect, thirst for knowledge, and a fascination with the human brain. _

_"I hate when they try that Freudian shite on me," she explained in a harsh tone. "Don't ever be like them."_

_"It's my job to promote subjective and behavioural well-being through understanding, preventing, and relieving psychologically-based anguish or dysfunction. But I suppose I like doing things differently." Nikki responded as she knew it wasn't professional to get involved with a client on a personal level. She preferred to work as a psychotherapists who utilized different treatment approaches while most of the Psychologists she had encountered prefer to focus on very specific treatment, referred to as an eclectic approach, drawing on different theoretical methods to progress treatment for individual clients. Nikki did not like using the Psychodynamic approach similar to Sigmund Freud, who believed that the unconscious mind played an important role in our behaviours. She preferred to use Cognitive behavioural and Humanistic perspective. She wanted to understand behavioural and cognitive thoughts that contribute to psychological anxiety. Humanist thinkers like Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers humanist were more her style as it coincided with her own beliefs. She wanted to tap into people and realise their full potential. _

_"I know you have a doctorate in Clinical Psychology," Maxine looked into Nikki's eyes as if she could see her own reflection. "But I also know you are a computer forensics expert and have a doctrine of criminal law at Oxford." She smiled coyly. _

_Nikki looked at Maxine, not flitching for a moment as she suspected Maxine was trying to get a reaction from her. "I see you have done your homework on me." She replied, crossing her arms and waiting for a response._

_"You needed hide things from me. I'm very resourceful even in my state," Maxine said leaning closing and putting her hands on her chin to support it. "Why do you hide the fact that you are quite intelligent? But of course your IQ is not as high as mine."_

_Nikki chuckled, revelling on Maxine's insights. Even though the girl who sat in front of her was a murderer who slaughtered her family like pigs, she had a wonderful sense of humour about her that was similar to her own. "Exciting career choice would you say?"_

_"Why yes," Maxine replied. "The brain has always fascinated me. The branch of psychology integrates the science of psychology with the treatment of complex human problems. Pity we are such mere mortals compared to the Gods," she continued saying. "But, I am more fascinated with criminal law theories and the scope of forensics psychology."_

_"You'd do well as a neuropsychologists," Nikki said ignoring Maxine's early question. No one knew that she was a computer forensics expert or that she studied criminal law in Oxford. She did not want to be treated different. She did not want people to look at her with awe if they knew how long it took her to graduate as she accelerated through the material in a short time when most spent years. She was always frowned upon during her time in school as most students were either jealous or spiteful of her age or her IQ. What did it matter how old she was or how smart others perceived her. She wanted to be judged by her personality, not by the titles she held._

"_Did you know that Hippocrates drew a connection between the brain and behaviours of the body and that the brain exercises the greatest power in humans?" She said smiling over at Nikki._

_"Yes I did."_

_"I'm highly intelligent as my IQ is over 150 yet everyone, except you, treat me as though I'm impassable. They don't even try to understand me." She said, venom dripping from her tongue. "Everyone always looked at me as a __super-achiever. My parents expected great things from me and they treated me as if I wasn't human. As if I didn't have emotions. I'm not a robot they can reprogram at will. I am well aware that a high IQ does not equal happiness as you can see."_

"_What went through your mind as you killed them?" Nikki asked, knowing that Maxine was not ready to discuss the killing. But she had to try._

_Maxine cleared her voice. "You know I can't explain that yet." She smiled. "Be patient Nikki and you will be rewarded. My lawyer friend, Sean Parr however, is a daft fool. Demanding things from me in his harsh tone and laughter."_

_Nikki laughed inwardly. She got a little pleasure from knowing that Maxine gave Sean a hard time even though he was her lawyer. "You know he is probably just doing his job."_

_Maxine chuckled. "That swine is only my lawyer because of pro bono. And it was not taken voluntarily as I hear he was forced to take my case, although I might know the reasons why. But judging by his moral greed, I believe taking my case was a favour due to some reckless gambling debt. So a little bird might have whispered."_

_Nikki smiled a wicked grin allowing her emotions to show. She felt a pang of satisfaction if what Maxine was telling her was true. She wondered how well Helen really knew Sean. "But we're not here to discuss Sean Parr are we?" She replied causing Maxine once again to chuckle out-loud._

"_Nothing gets past you," Maxine smiled. "But he should be careful before someone sticks a glass shard in her neck." She smiled with an evil grin._

_Nikki shook her head. "Is that something you should be saying to me?" _

"_I trust you Nikki and I know you sense a connection between us. But I don't know if you can save me from my hell. Save my cursed soul." She exclaimed._

"_I'm not here to save your soul, only God can determine that if you are religious." Nikki replied knowing not even time was on Maxine side. "I am here to listen, give you my thoughts and understand cause and effect. When there is a serious problem, it's important to explore all of the things that could cause it, before I can think about a resolution if all possible. Killing your entire family is an effect. What I what to understand is the cause, the reasons that led you to that point."_

"_What if you cannot achieve that Nikki?" Maxine asked. One of the reasons she admired Nikki was her truthfulness and directness. It doesn't bother Nikki if she misspoke or was unsure about her approach. This human side to Nikki is what made Maxine respect her._

"_Do you trust me?" Nikki asked looking at Maxine who now seemed more relaxed._

"_Yes."_

"_Then together, let me descent into your mind. I will find you and pull you out." Nikki said smiling. "The goal is not unattainable."_

_"You always know what to say to a woman," Maxine laughed, running her fingers through her hair. Could she really be rescued from her manic thoughts and be washed of her sins? She willed it so, but would destiny prove her wrong? She knew Nikki was unpretentious but would her own heart conquer her malevolent nature? She wanted Nikki to sanctify her spirit. In Nikki's eyes, she saw a little part of herself. She felt connected in a way with this dark haired beauty who could pass as her older sister. But would the voices in her mind be her downfall. "You secret is safe with me."_

"_Aye secrets," Nikki brow raised. "How many more will you uncover my little detective?"_

"_I want all of you," she grinned as if the Devil inside her knew better. She really did want to know everything about Nicola Wade. She didn't know why she felt such a strong bond with Nikki, except that it felt like the most naturally thing and she wanted, no needed to know. Nikki was the only person who could soothe her soul. She didn't have any good memories of her childhood, but there was one memory that stayed with her. She didn't know how old she was but suspected she was a toddler. It was a memory of her sitting by the ocean side making castle out of sand as the most wonderful tune her ears have ever heard. It was coming from a young girl whistling in the distant, waving. It was almost as if she could see tears streaming down her face. She could not make out her face and the memory was fuzzy. Sometimes she wondered if the memory she held so dear to her heart was actually true and not just a figment of her imagination._

_Nikki looked into Maxine's eyes, warmth glowing, not the cold stare she first got then they first met. "I want you to realise that I am here to help you. I know our sessions are not always professional as I allow you to express your desires but you must not cross that certain line. And I know you know what I am saying here because a part of me and I know I should not being saying this, cares what happens to you. You must still remember why we are here."_

"_You don't have to use that professional tone on me as we both are too intelligent and clever for the rest of them. It's kind of you to worry but I will not allow anyone to harm you." Maxine said, her tone a serious note. "The professionals in this hospital are weak minded but you're different Nicola Wade."_

"_Maxine," Nikki said, her arms crossed over her chest. "Please don't address me by that name."_

"_Sorry," she said feeling guilty. "My lips are sealed." As Nikki shook her head wondering if her approach with Maxine was appropriate and the right thing to do. She knew she had to change her approach with Maxine as she was too clever but she felt like she was doing the right thing._

* * *

_Leaning his shoulder against the cold brick wall, he froze as a subtle sound caught his sensitive ears. A faint cry, nearly undetectable to anyone else, alerted him to an impending calamity at the hands of his companion, who was swaying down the stairs and dragging what he knew was another victim. He knew, despite her face being obscured by her small hands that her eyebrows were knitted tightly in concentration and her face was creased in an attempt to keep her glasses from sliding down the bridge of her nose. He waited silently for her inevitable stumble, her knees scrapping the cold cement floor. Moving effortlessly, a strong arm encompassed her tiny waist, the other hand grasping long her hair. The deplorable echo of her pain permeated her body as the sandy-blonde haired girl looked up at her abductors, realising that her fingers were broken as she pulled away in a violent surge while colour rose warmed her cheeks._

_She nervously wrung her hands, keeping her focus on her abductors as she tried to find a way out of her hell but only finding concrete walls. "Mister, I'm so sorry if I did anything to offend you." Her voice was jarring and dripping with a foreboding feeling. "Please don't hurt me." He could hear the pleading in her voice which made him feel even more infuriated._

_He exhaled and shook his head lightly, silken dark hair falling in front of his face. Composing himself, he turned back to the trembling girl before him, who was now hovering cowardly expecting to be reprimanded. "Shut the fuck up you slag dyke," he began, "I'm sure my friend here would not appreciate your insincerity, but I believe that he would be even more pleased if you just laid the fuck still. Don't you agree?"_

_Though he was smiling, the young girl could sense looming, genuine murderous intent as he towered over her. Opting to refrain from continuing to dig her own grave, she remained silent, her only response being an extremely vigorous nod. Tilting his head slightly and maintaining his ominous grin, he turned away, pushing through a door and leaving her with his companion. She did her best to ignore the other man who had a fag clenched in his teeth and blond hair leaning on his shoulders as he looked down at her with contempt. His companion came through the door again, holding onto something, which she could not see through her tear filled eyes. As he approached closer, her eyes grew wide with fear as she realised what he was holding and it put the fear in God in her. His companion was jolted by a piercing scream echoing through the dungeon. _

"_Scream all you want," he sneered at her, smiling as if he knew her pain would pacify the hunger in him. "No one is going to hear you, you sodding whore."_

"_Please, what have I done?" She implored with the monster who stood over her._

"_Keep your gob shut. Those who lay with demons shall be burned to the cross and all shall witness their death." He looked over at his companion. "Hold her still. There's much too do." And with that he plunged a needle in her neck and she went motionless after a few minutes._

_Then he went over to the table and picked up a book as he began to read while his partner cut her wrist as the blood poured in a goblet. "__I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread."_

_He watched as the blood dripped into the goblet. "Get her on the bed," he told his companion who carried her unto a makeshift bed on the floor. "Let's begin." He said, as he started to remove her clothing. Tonight he will bless himself onto her and feel pleased about his mission. For a short moment he thought about 'her'. It's all your fault he said to himself. "Why did you have to die on me? I will make them all suffer. He said this is the will of God. He told me. Don't look at me that way." He demanded. His companion looked at him wondering who he was talking to. But he could not see anything at the moment except for the figure in front of him. She was a cruel reminder of his past. "I'm doing this for you." He yelled as the figure disappeared. As if he could see two eyes staring at him, he turned his head towards his companion who was looking at him with a blank expression. "Do as you're told. Let's get on with it." His companion shrugged his shoulders and continued to remove her clothes without saying a word._

* * *

_Karen dialed her phone and waited for the other person to answer. _

_"Hello," Yvonne said, out of breath._

_"Did you just come back from a marathon?" Karen giggled._

_"Sod you," Yvonne said harshly, still trying to catch her breath. "You rang. Is there something I can help you with or are you just happy to hear my lovely voice?"_

_Karen smiled to herself. Yvonne was always right to the point. "Aren't you going to say you miss me?"_

_"You're the one ringing, so why the hell should I care?" Yvonne said, trying to sound uninterested when in fact she was happy that Karen called. She needed to get away from life and spend some quiet time reminiscing about their crazy days together._

_"That hurts," Karen quipped. "But you still love me, right?"_

_Yvonne smiled. She knew Karen longer than anyone in her life, including Charlie. No one knew her crazy quirks, her temper and her heart. "Of course," she replied. "You promised me all those years back that we were going to grow old and senile together, remember?"_

_Karen laughed out-loud, remembering the day when they both professed their promise, long before life came around. "You still remember that? We were twelve years old."_

_"Of course, darling." Yvonne remarked. "I might be an old silly bird, but my mind is still sharp as ever."_

_"Thirty-five is not old Yvonne, but yes a silly bird you are indeed," she said, laughing into the phone._

_"My body feels old though," Yvonne replied. "But I can still rock the dance floor, though."_

_"If I remember, that wasn't the only thing you were good at." She continued laughing, remembering the days._

_"Why must you bring that up?" Yvonne said, feeling a little annoyed with herself. Some things were better off not remembering. She knew she had a lot of unresolved issues, but she wasn't interesting in resolving them. It was a Pandora box that she wanted closed even if it meant sacrificing her own wants and feelings._

_Karen felt dumbfounded. She could talk to Yvonne about anything, and everything, but one topic was always out of her reach and it bothered her but she kept her silence all these years, but her skin was growing thin. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it." She apologised._

_"Forget it, I didn't mean to snap at you." Yvonne said quickly, realising she probably insulted Karen. "So why did you call?"_

_Karen was silent for a moment then said, "I wanted to have a small party at my place and I thought we could invite Nikki and Helen."_

_Yvonne brow unfurled. She understood what Karen was getting at. "That is a brilliant idea. Just the four of us, drinking, talking, and who knows what else. You are clever." Yvonne smiled to herself. "Do you need me to come by your place tonight?" She didn't want to sound too eager._

_"Well if you're not doing anything." Karen replied. _

_"I'll bring the beer or a good bottle of wine." Yvonne said._

_"I'll cook something for the two of us then." Karen replied, sounding happy._

_"Oh please don't cook," Yvonne laughed into the phone. _

_Karen pouted. "Why the hell not?" She said with a critical tone in her voice._

_"You can't cook if your life depended upon it." Yvonne remarked, giggling. "I nearly had food poisoning the last time you cooked for me."_

_"It wasn't that bad." Karen said defending herself. It was true, she wasn't the best cook, but she thought she wasn't half bad._

_"I wouldn't feed the dogs your food," she said. "Let your fingers do the dialing and I don't care what you order as long as you don't cook it."_

_"Right, next time I won't invite you over if you're just going to laugh at me." Karen said, pretending to be hurt._

_"Well, then I guess I won't be giving you a massage as I thought I would treat you to one of my fabulous massages."_

_"Not fair you daft cow," Karen said, stopping. She always enjoyed Yvonne's massages, as they were quite relaxing as she didn't often get them. "This is blackmail."_

_"Call it what you will, but you know you can't resist me." Yvonne teased._

_"Fine, have it your way. But the next time you need a favour don't come running to me." Karen quipped._

_"Alright, alright, keep your hair on. It's obvious we're too stubborn to let each other win." Yvonne said, knowing how both of them could be quite determined._

_"Fine," she said. "See you tonight and then we can talk about our master evil plan to get those two together."_

_"Of course."_

_"Well, I hope this doesn't backfire on us." Karen said, thinking about Sean. Deep down inside she knew he was not right for Helen and she deserved to be happy rather than just settling down. Helen was living a lie and it was about time she found someone who could shake her foundation and make her truly happy._

_"Don't worry about a thing. We're much too clever for that." Yvonne said._

_"Who said anything about you being clever?" Karen joked._

_"I'll give you my backhand with that sharp tongue of yours. When did you become so fiery?" Yvonne quipped._

_"Didn't I tell you," Karen countered. "I was abducted by aliens and they messed with my DNA, and I feel new and improved." She chuckled._

_Yvonne laughed, enjoying Karen's humour. It was good to laugh again since life was tense with her marriage and her daughter latest situation. "Aye, I reckon you went through a brain transformation. Though I am still deciding if I like the old Karen or the new one. Such a difficult decision." She said, breathing into the phone, trying to stop herself from laughing._

_"What would you do without me in your life babe?" Karen said, smiling to herself._

_"Take in a new hobby I guess," Yvonne said thinking about Karen's question. She didn't know what she would do. Since they were children, they have been in each other's lives. She was part of her extension and the thought of her not being there frightened her. Other than her children, Karen was the most important person in her life. She was her best mate. _

_"I can see you talking up knitting and knitting little booties," Karen laughed. "You don't do hobby. Let's face it, you'd go mad with boredom."_

_"'Tis true my love, 'tis true," Yvonne said. "But I reckon you'll be there to muck up my bowel movement and bathe me clean."_

_"Hell no, there are people you can hire for that." Karen said nosily "The only thing I shall be doing is knocking you on your arse with my cane." She crackled. _

_"Some best mate you are," Yvonne replied lost in her thoughts. A feeling of forlorn came over her. "You think we'll grow old together? I know it was just a childish promise back then." Yvonne said in a whisper, feeling a little dejected._

_Karen was silent for a moment as she took in Yvonne's word which sounded very sincere. She noticed lately that Yvonne seemed lonelier and she knew it was because of her marriage troubles but she sounded different tonight. She wasn't the same strong, independent, stubborn woman she knew all those years. Tonight she sounded vulnerable and it pleased her. This was the side that Yvonne hated to show but the side that Karen loved to see. They have gone through a lot of ups and downs and Yvonne was always the strong one, holding her together when things got rough or when she had relationship problems. She wanted to be the strong one for once. She wanted to be the one holding up Yvonne when she felt frail. The reality was Yvonne was her family. She was an only child and her parents were dead. She had no children and a few good friends. _

_"I don't know what the future brings," Karen replied. "But I would very much like that. You're my best mate and I love you very much so." Karen said, making her heart go warm. _

_Yvonne smiled inwardly. Life might always be shite but at least she had Karen as her foundation. "I'd like that too. And I suppose I love you too." She jibed jokingly._

_"Ditto," Karen said. "I will see you later."_

_"Yes you will." And with that Yvonne hung up the phone with a smile on her face. Her whole body felt warm and she knew why. She didn't often tell Karen that she loved her. She wasn't the touchy feely type like Karen was, but she did appreciate her understanding. Yet at times, she wished she was more open about her feelings. She made a promise to herself that she would try to be more open with the people she cared about. Her immortality reflected all the things she never allowed herself to become. She was tired living a life in a stranger's shoes._

* * *

_Nikki knocked on Helen's door, opening it slightly as she peeked her head in. She wanted to see Helen today as she was busy most of the day and the evening approach too quickly._

_"Come in," Helen replied, her face looking flushed and she had dark circles under her eyes._

_"Is this a bad time Helen?" Nikki asked cautiously. "You look worn out. Long day?"_

_Helen smiled weakly. In truth, her head was still feeling weary. "My head's still pounding from our ladies night out. Why didn't you stop me from drinking into a stupor?"_

_"I thought you Scottish were used to drinking like a fish." Nikki smiled, baring her teeth._

_"Someone forgot to give me those powers. My memories is like a thick fog. And I look like shite tonight. Haven't been sleeping well." Helen said, trying to pretend she didn't remember a thing._

_"So you still don't remember anything," Nikki questioned._

_"Bits and pieces, but nothing concrete." Helen said looking at Nikki and knowing why she was asking her that question. "Why do you ask?"_

_She looked uncomfortable, and the weariness that Nikki had noticed when she first came into the Helen's office became more prominent. "No particular reason, I imagine." Nikki took off her coat and proceed to sit across Helen who looked like she was in thought._

_Helen stared into space and her mind shut down. She was still tired and realised she needed a good night sleep. She had another argument with Sean and this time she threw her phone at him, shattering it against a wall. She was so incensed with his jealous antics and she felt as if her life was being sucked into a toilet spiralling down. At one point it seemed as if Sean was going to hit her, but that would have been his mistake as she would have taken him down. The self-defence classes she took to become an officer awarded her with the knowledge to take down a much stronger man than she was. The argument got so nasty, that she basically told him she made a mistake agreeing to marry him, which smouldered Sean anger into a rage. He grabbed her arm with such force that it left her with a mark on her arm. But she managed to subdue him down with her quick moves. She knew he didn't mean to be rough with her and she knew she was being dodgy with him, being emotionless of late. She wasn't being honest or acting like a fiancée towards him. He had a right to know what was going through her head but she just couldn't tell him that she started to have feelings for Nikki. She knew that would be a dangerous situation all around. She told him to be patient with her and that she was under a lot of stress from work. She just needed time to get her head around. He finally left quietly, but he knew there was something horrible wrong with Helen. He wondered if she was really cheating on him or if she had changed her mind about marrying him. Whatever it was, he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He could no longer stand idle and watch the woman he loved drift farther and farther away from him. _

_"Hello," Nikki stretched out one leg and kicked Helen lightly underneath her desk. "Hey, you, perhaps you've noticed that I'm not invisible here."_

_Helen faintly smiled. She was stressed with the case and her personal life. She wasn't her normal self today, but she needed to unwind. "You put it so elegantly," Helen smiled again, her voice stronger._

_"Something's wrong," Nikki stated firmly. _

_Helen shook her head quickly. "Just your basic stress of the job. I wondered why I didn't listen to my parents and become a lawyer or something."_

_"Would you have it any other way?" Nikki said, wondering if there wasn't more to the story. Did Helen remember what happened or is she being polite not bringing it up. Or was there something else troubling her?_

_"No, I suppose not," Helen said, before taking a deep breath and leaning against her chair._

_"Look, Helen," Nikki spoke, "Perhaps you need a little air into those lungs of yours. Stress can kill even the kindest souls. Release that dark energy inside you."_

_"Is this your psychology crap you use on people," Helen said roughly, wondering why she was giving Nikki a hard time. She didn't mean it but seeing Nikki reminded her why her life was shite. She wanted to close her eyes and forget she was human. Why did she have to be different? Was she being punished by God because she stopped believing in her faith? She knew it was a silly thought but she did not know how to react and did not know what she wanted._

_Nikki was taken back. She felt a little wounded. "Sorry, Helen. Maybe I should leave and come back when you're less agitated."_

_Nikki was about to get up to go before Helen stopped her. "No Nikki, please don't leave. Pay no heed to my pandemonium state." Helen said pleading. "I'm all over the place and I feel like I've been on a runaway train hoping to find my providence. Please stay."_

_Nikki regarded her for a moment before replying. "Apparently you haven't lost your perseverance," she let out a crude laugh. "But I'll forgive you if you let me take you out for dinner some time."_

_Helen smiled and breathed out a sigh of relief. "Deal, Nicola Wade."_

_"Please, Helen," Nikki frowned. "Just Nikki will do."_

_Helen looked at Nikki, admiring her strong facial features. She hadn't noticed a small scar near Nikki's upper forehead. "But I like the way it sounds." Before her thoughts drifted to the night that Nikki kissed her. When she thought about the kiss she wasn't angry or annoyed that Nikki was so bold to do a stunt like that. Nikki was acting on a feeling, right or wrong, but at least she was being honest about the kiss. In the beginning Nikki's flirtations ways were enduring and fun, but since the kiss it left her feeling a wanting she has never felt before. And ever since that night, her dreams were filled with Nikki and a sexual revelation that had her shaking in the morning. But she had to stop herself from her manic thoughts. She told herself she would not allow herself to get involved with Nikki. Friendship was the only route for them. She just needed to flush Nikki from her system. _

_"What are you thinking?" Nikki asked._

_"What, did you say something?" Helen came out of her trance._

_"I hope you were thinking about me just now," Nikki teased, watching Helen's face turn a deep red. _

_Helen felt immediately embarrassed, and she knew why. Nikki made her feel uneasy at times, yet she felt completely comfortable with the dark hair beauty that sat across her. It was a strange intrusion that Helen didn't quite understand. _

_"What are you getting at Nikki?" Helen feigned innocence._

_They were silent for several heartbeats- perhaps surprised at the rapid familiarity that seemed to hover around them, and then Nikki shook her head briskly and glanced at her watch. "Have you eaten anything yet?"_

_"I'm living off coffee and donuts at the moment." Helen patted her stomach._

_"Sounds nutritional," Nikki said sarcastically "How about I take you out for dinner now then? If we sneak out, I am sure no one will notice you gone."_

_"Why not. I need to get away from this place." Helen pulled up her collar as she rose from the chair. She looked around, shifty-eyed, in an uncanny parody of a secret agent. "I'll cover you. Run for it!"_

_Laughing, Nikki grabbed her coat and they headed out. "Wait!"_

_"What's the matter," Helen commented. "Did you forget something?"_

_Nikki shook her head. "Do you mind if we stopped somewhere. There's someone I'm hoping to run into."_

_Helen didn't quite understand, but Nikki looked concerned and her warm brown eyes affected her. Why was she able to pull her heart strings? She sighed inwardly and followed Nikki to the door._

* * *

_"You thieving buggers!" Nikki yelled after them. "I know your faces."_

_Helen ran out of the car. "What is it? What's going on? Do you want me to go after them?"_

_"Nothing for you to worry about," she told her. "A few louts prowling about, but they'll not be back. I can promise you that."_

_"What did they want?" Helen asked._

_"Whatever they could lay their hands on, I suspect." Nikki said, annoyed. Inside the coal hole a woman lay unconscious, her faithful friend lying beside her, her head bleeding. Only the occasional flickering of one eye gave a small sign that there might still be life._

_"Is that you Monica?" Nikki cried out, uncertain what she was seeing. As she heard a familiar voice, Monica regained her senses, she called out for her cat. There was no reply; no familiar whimpering or nuzzling of a wet nose against her. Only a terrible stillness, a silence that was frightening. "Monica, it's all right. I'm here…" Nikki's voice trembled with fear. A sob catching her words, Monica turned her eyes to Nikki before falling unconscious._

_"She's badly hurt," Helen warned. "Do you know this woman, Nikki?"_

_"Yes, in a way I do. I met her a few weeks back," Nikki said, barely containing her emotions. "I told the old woman to seek a shelter because I was afraid something like this might happen."_

_"Don't blame yourself, Nikki." Helen said, rubbing her hand over Nikki's shoulder. "You tried your best."_

_"I know, but my best wasn't good enough and this is shite." Nikki said with uncertainty. Why did she wait so long to seek Monica? Could she have done more? A sense of guilt washed over her. Ever since meeting Helen, all was put on hold. Together they carried Monica into the car and wrapped a blanket that Nikki had in her trunk. "Poor little devil," Nikki murmured, stroking the soft fur. "What kind of monsters did this? Attacking an old woman and her feline friend? They should be hanged." When Sadie the cat seemed to sigh, Nikki drew back, astonished. "Lord above. I thought you were done for."_

_The ride to the hospital was quiet and Nikki cradled Monica in her arms as Helen drove off, her lights flashing, driving as fast as she could to the hospital._


	15. Chapter 15

So I finally complete chapter 15. Nikki and Helen's relationship is getting heated and complicated. I have all sorts of ideas where I want to take this story so keep reading and do let me know what you think. The story will get darker, but I shant reveal anything except that next few chapters will be interesting as I formulate ldeas n my head. Again, hope all my readers are enjoying my take of Nikki and Helen. Enjoy and read on...

_**Chapter 15**_

_Helen walked towards Nikki who had her head down as she sat on a chair. "Hey there."_

_Nikki looked up to see a smiling Helen. She hadn't slept all night and her head felt like someone was drilling into her skull. "Hey there back to you too." Nikki replied, her voice sounding tired as she stared at the floor._

_"I just came back to see if there was any change or if you needed something. Would you like me to stay with you a little bit longer?" Helen asked a weary looking Nikki who had her hands over her face, sitting on a white plastic chair. It was obvious that she didn't go home last night._

_Nikki looked up to see Helen standing in front of her holding a cup of coffee. "That's okay, I know you need to get on with work. I'm just going to stay here until Monica wakes up. She doesn't have any family in London and I don't want her to be all alone."_

_Hel__en sat next to Nikki handing her the cup of coffee. "Listen Nikki, it might be awhile until she regains conscience. She was beaten badly and you look like you haven't slept all night. It's morning and you're still wearing the same clothes from last night."_

_"I understand your concern, but I cannot leave just yet." Nikki said looking at Helen who had a look of concern in her eyes. _

_She went to put her arm around Nikki to comfort her. There was nothing they could do but wait. "I'll stay with you a little while longer. We will catch those spineless thugs."_

_"Thanks for being here," Nikki said with a weak smile. "You'll understand if I take some time away from the investigation."_

_"Of course," Helen said understanding Nikki's request. "I just want to be here for you." Her mobile phone with off. She checked her phone and it was Sean calling so she turned off her phone. She did not want to talk to him. It was selfish but the only person who mattered was Nikki._

_"Sean?" Nikki said, giving her a weak smile._

_"I'm afraid so," she said coldly, not caring if she sounded harsh. "I don't like him checking in on me."_

_Nikki went to put her hand over Helen and squeezed it. "I really appreciate everything you've done for me."_

_Helen gave Nikki a warm smile as she enjoyed the closeness. "I haven't done much but you have been a great asset to me. You're bloody brilliant."_

_Nikki gave her a knowing look. "Nothing special about me."_

_Helen shook her head. "You have a caring, gentle soul. You don't know Monica at all, yet you're willing to give your time to a stranger because you know it'__s the right thing to do for you." Nikki looked at Helen and couldn't help feel a sense to pull the woman into her arms and never let her go but no matter how much she willed it or wished that things were different, she knew Helen had Sean. "Look, you're stubborn to fault, I'm obvious out of your league when it comes to intelligence, and you lead by your heart, you're true to your beliefs, all qualities that I lo...like about you." Helen said, realising she almost said the word 'love' and it caught her off guard for a moment._

_Nikki smiled over a Helen as she continued to hold her hand. Helen's face seemed to turn rosy. For a moment she thought she heard Helen say love but perhaps it was wishful thinking. She knew Helen cared about her but it was only friendship. Still, a part of her felt different. "You're going to make me blush with all your kind words."_

_"Well don't let it get in your head or I might change my mind." She said grinning with a twinkle in her eye._

_"Well we can't have that happen, can we." Nikki said playfully._

_"No we can't," Helen said looking deep into Nikki's eyes. It wasn't hard getting lost in those deep brown eyes that seemed captivating and mysterious. She knew she was in trouble. No matter how hard she tried to ignore her growing feelings for Nikki, whenever she was in her presence, all she wanted to do was protect her, comfort her, and in truth, reached deep into her soul. She found herself wanting to spend her days with the woman who was turning her whole world upside down. Once again, she felt that ache deep inside her heart. She closed her eyes and sighed to herself as she knew the reasons why._

* * *

_It was still touch and go whether Monica would survive the vicious attack. She had lost consciousness on the way to the hospital and remained in a coma. Nikki stayed long hours to watch over her. But it was all to no avail. Monica slept on. And with every day that passed, it seemed the old woman's life was disappearing with it. And Nikki's work was suffering. She hadn't seen Helen much and wondered how long she could go on like this. A week had past, but a week that seemed a thousand days. The ward was quiet now. Beyond the curtain the sky was darkening into evening._

_"In a way it might be a blessing if she goes," Dr. Nickelson remarked as he approached. "She doesn't appear to have any family, and she's old and apparently homeless." He sighed. Leaning forward he gently prised open her eyelids. "She won't last long in my opinion. It's a pity, I know, but there's nothing more we can do."_

_"That's a cold harsh statement to make, Doctor," Nikki said, shaking her head as she walked in overhearing the cold words coming from the Doctor. "You talk as if she's got one foot in death's door."_

_"I'm sorry, dear, but I don't want to give you false hope." Dr. Nickelson felt sorry for the old woman, but he wasn't giving out miracles just yet. Yvonne patted Nikki's ba__ck._

_"She's a fighter Nikki, you'll see." Yvonne tried to reassure Nikki._

_"It might do her some good to be in the Lords hand instead of walking the mean streets," Dr. Nickelson replied._

_"I know she's just might be another slab on a cold steel, Dr. Nickelson, but she's somebody's friend, perhaps a mother herself," Nikki said, looking over at Yvonne. "She looks different from when we first brought her in." Nikki replied._

_"Amazing what soap and water can do." Yvonne remarked. _

_"When she was brought in she looked like any other vagabond, but now…Well, I mean, she has a certain, oh, I don't know…a kind of gracious beauty." He laughed at his own ramblings. "Who knows, she might be worth a fortune, and here she is, ending her days in a charity ward."_

_"How old do you think she is?" Yvonne asked, intrigued._

_Dr. Nickelson shrugged. "It's hard to say. She may have been living rough for some time, and such a life will age a person. But her skin is surprisingly good, and her hair has a remarkable sheen." He picked up one of her hands. "See here, how firm and clean her nails are? Whatever she is, and however she came to be, this lady took great care of herself."_

_"This woman has a name." Nikki quipped._

_"I'm sure she does," He said, without missing a beat._

_"How old though?" Yvonne asked again._

_Something about Monica had stirred Nikki's heart. It was amazing, but Nikki couldn't remember if she asked Monica her age. Monica appeared older, with dirt and living a harsh life, but now, looking at her sleeping state, Monica looked different. Younger. She reminded Nikki of herself. Similar features in a way. Why didn't she notice before?_

_Dr. Nickelson shook his head. "She could be in her mid-sixties or early seventies. Like I say, it's difficult to be precise. She doesn't have any identification so she could be anyone or no one."_

_"I wonder if she has a family somewhere." Yvonne said, interrupting._

_"Who know? We're not paid to do detective work, my dear. We're here to mend bodies not the mind. She received a vicious battering. I believe she may go in her sleep, and that would be a merciful thing. I suspect it won't be too long before we have the use of her bed." With those words, he moved on to the next patient.  
_

_"Pay no heed to that old man Nikki," Yvonne quipped. "He should have retired a long time ago." _

_As Nikki considered his harsh comments, before someone stepped forward. "Ain't no good dwelling on it," Shell said, putting her two-bits._

_Nikki didn't respond._

_"That old bird been here a week," Shell persisted. "The Doctor's right. There's nothing else we can do for her, and you can't deny she taking up valuable space in here."  
_

_Drawing her aside, Nikki was sharp. "That 'old woman' you speak of is still a person, and this is a hospital. It's gentry with consciences who keep this place open," she reminded Shell._

_"Don't pay attention to that tart," Yvonne said, rather annoyed with Shell's tactics. How she ever became a nurse was anybody's guess. She paid more attention to the male Doctors than the patients._

_Feeling irritable and inadequate, Nikki was hitting out at everything and everybody. She was incensed by Shell's casual attitude. It wasn't the first time she questioned her place in the order of things. No doubt it would not be the last either._

_"I know she might be gravely ill," Nikki said to Shell, "and I know that most of you, hence, 'most', but Monica's strong and might just surprise us all – if you and the good Doctor aren't too hasty in writing her off."_

_"Don't go all butch on me." Shell was taken aback by the outburst. "What's the big deal? We take scruffs like her all the time – destitute who nobody cares shite about what happens to them." _

_Nikki rounded on her. "People! Not once have you called them people, but that's what they are, just like you and me."_

_Shell shook her head. "Oh, no," she snapped back. "Not like you and me. I work bloody hard for a living, and if you ask me, no one would really miss any of them anyhow."_

_"Why don't you learn to shut your gob when you have nothing interesting to say, Shell." Yvonne quipped, realising that look in Nikki's eyes. _

_"Ain't we on the same page? I nurse their wounds and I fetch their bedpans, and I loathe every minute of it. The only comfort is at the end of the week when I get paid." Red-faced with anger, Shell cursed herself for revealing the truth._

_Yvonne had always suspected as much but she was still shaken by the admission. "If that's how you feel you miserable cow," she accused angrily, "you should take up residence at a pig pen with Fenner so that the two of you can lie around in your own muck."_

_"Can't understand why so much hostility." Shell said. "That old nobody is taking up valuable space. The sooner she kicks the bucket, the sooner I can get on with things."_

_Conscious that Monica might be able to hear what was being said, Nikki grabbed Shell's arm and pushed her towards the door. "Is there anything new you want to add or do you like having those teeth of yours intact?" Nikki asked, her voice stern and steady._

_Shell handed her the clipboard. "Nothing," she replied curtly. "Who knows, she might be worth a fortune." Shell was about to go through Monica's tapestry bag. _

_"What in the name of Heavens, do you think you're doing?" Nikki replied coldly._

_"This old woman might have something of importance." Shell said unapologetically._

_Nikki couldn't believe her eyes. "Have you gone out of your mind?"_

_"You heard what Dr. Nickelson said," Shell hissed. "What if she's really worth a fortune? That old vagabond is clearly on her way out so she'll not need it any more. Ain't hurting anyone and who would be any wiser."_

_Stepping forward, Nikki challenged Shell. How can a tart like her wake up every morning and face the world. It should be Shell not Monica fighting for her life. God had a cruel way of showing good versus evil. "Keep your snout out of her bag if you want to keep that pretty face of yours," Nikki ordered in a harsh whisper, "I will not, do you hear, repeat myself again."_

_"Don't be daft." Defiantly Shell turned the bag upside down, spilling its remaining contents on the bed._

_"You disgust me." Gathering up Monica's belongings, Nikki made a grab for the bag. "Take it and I won't be so keen to restrain myself." Nikki promised._

_"I don't think so," Shell sneered. "I'm a very convincing liar. You'd best think of it, Nikki." She said brazenly._

_Nikki's face darkened. "Keep your gob shut or you'll pay dearly. And believe me, I won't think twice about doing it. And no one will give a shite about you, I promise." Nikki stood her ground with incensed eyes as she took another step closer to Shell, towering over her. "Don't pretend to be some idiot savant. But I am sure you have no clue what I am saying seeing you lack intelligence yet that doesn't give you reason to act like a buffoon."_

_"What are you getting at?" She said annoyed that Nikki was making her stupid._

_"Did I hit a nerve," Nikki said smiling. "Are you mentally-incapable of forming a rationale sentence? Although I am going to guess that you are very knowledgeable or should I dare say gifted in a certain sexual manner,__ albeit only when you're in a missionary position."_

_"Hey," She'll went to say. But before she could continue Nikki interrupted her train of thought._

_Nikki turned her head towards Yvonne who was trying to suppress a giggle. "Hey Von, would that qualify her as an idiot savant?" Nikki said with a straight face._

_"Naw," she replied. "Don't group her with the other one off genius, she no clue what a savant means."_

_"Touch me and I will break every bone in your hand," Nikki turned to Shell who was reaching out with her hand._

_"Excuse me," a red-faced Shell said in anger. "But I could report you both for misconduct."_

_Just then Yvonne walked by and leaned towards Shell. "You'd best listen, 'cos Nikki is a master at Shaolin Kempo Karate and if you value your life I'd back off tart, or I might just get my Charlie to whack those knees of yours too," Yvonne grinned as a startled Shell looked on. "You'd best believing because a one off with Fenner is paradise compared to what my Charlie would do to you." With that Shell excused herself quickly not wanting to stir the pot._

_"Thanks, Yvonne," Nikki said, feeling a little relief._

_Yvonne smiled widely. "No problem. I do my part to rid us of such a foul mouth tart like Shell Dockley."_

* * *

_"Why do they have to prejudge some back evidence, that doesn't pertain to this case?" Helen said irritated._

_"Because the Roisin O'Conner case has never been solved. They wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't draw attention to it." Sean remarked._

_"I feel it already. This could get in the way."_

_"Make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Making history repeat itself. Maybe you should think about comparing the cases. Find a link between them." Sean said getting under Helen's skin._

_"What the hell do you think I've been doing?" Helen's nostrils flared. "You don't think I can handle this case on my own?" Sean was about to remark but she didn't give him the chance. "I've been working with Nikki and she has some wonderful insights about the case. She already thinks they're linked in some way or another."_

_"Nikki?"_

_"Yes, Nikki Wade the Clinical Psychologist." Helen wondered why she allowed herself to get manipulated by Sean. Why didn't she just say no when he wanted to come over. The more she was in the company of Sean, the more she realised how annoying he was beginning to get._

_"What do you think? It's your case." He said jealous. "Nikki, she's the lesbian Clinical Psychologist who's seeing one of my clients."_

_"Meaning what," Helen spat. She did not like his jealousy creeping up. It was an ugly quality._

_"I just didn't realise that Nikki Wade was the one helping you," Sean said innocently, but his voice gave away his disgust._

_"Why should it matter if she's gay or bloody Jack the Ripper?" Helen said angrily. "She's brilliant and that woman has incredible intuition on things." Helen felt like she needed to defend Nikki in front of Sean. And she didn't like the undertones that Sean was implying. She didn't need his idiotic remarks._

_"What if she fancies you, babe?" Sean said, disgusted with the thought. "I mean, you're easy on the eyes and…I'm just saying." He said feeling inept and wondered how Nikki Wade looked. Was she just as attractive as he heard she was? He knew that she was an excellent Clinical Psychologist from the people who had talked about her, but he did not like to think that she might fancy Helen. He made a mental to introduce himself. He wanted to size her up._

_Helen cocked her head towards Sean, her face turning red with anger. "What the fuck Sean." She yelled. "You're behaviour is inexcusable and I don't want another smart remark coming from that gob of yours." She pointed at Sean's mouth. "Not another word." She meant business. She was not going to stand there and take Sean's crap._

_"You're acting so defensive," Sean remarked, ignoring Helen's anger. "Do you have something to hide? You have been spending a lot of time with her lately."_

_"Right now Sean, you repulse me." As she walked away from him and headed towards the door, then turned around, "Get the hell out of my office if you're going to be a sodding prick."_

_Just then Dominic entered, a slight hesitation on his part. He could hear Helen arguing with Sean and wondered if he should wait. "Forensic has just come back with their findings." Dominic said, looking over a Helen waiting for her reaction._

_"It is important?" Helen stated._

_"You should read this and we need to pick up Colin Hedges again." Dominic replied._

_Helen looked over at Sean. At least this would be an excuse to rid him. "Sean, I think you need to leave now, please." she said in a flat tone._

_"Evidence I presume." Sean stated. Another moment ruined by her work. He would always come last. "You are run by work, and I am just a speck in your life right now."_

_"Piss off," Helen replied not caring how she sounded in front of Dominic. "I don't need your self-indulgence to guilt me. So you can stop your antagonistic strife and let me do my work."_

_Sean looked over at Dominic then back to Helen with an exasperate look on his face. His cheeks all but red from jealous and resentment. "As if I could," he remarked coldly, feeing embarrassed that he was made to look a fool in front of Helen's co-worker. "This discussion is not over."_

_Helen looked straight at Sean, with determination. "As far as I am concerned, it is."_

_Sean's blood boiled inside and at that moment he truly wanted to dominate Helen and make her feel his pain. The look in Helen's eyes did not show love for him but pure contempt. It worried him to his core._

* * *

_"I've got nothing, to say to you, Detective. Not without my lawyer present."_

_"This isn't about you, Colin," Helen said, sitting in the hard chair._

_Hedges looked dumbfounded. "Then why am I here? I've told you everything already."_

_"So you've said. So I guess you don't want a chance to help yourself out." Jim leaned over, with a straight face. Helen cringed, but she had no choice. Simon insisted that Jim work with her, over Dominic. Still, it was her case and she would still be in charged regardless of Jim's backstabbing. She had a strange feeling he was up to something._

_"How can I help myself out if it isn't about me?"_

_"Good faith," Helen replied, smiling. She knew that Mason death was ruled a suicide and the case was closed officially, but that wasn't going to stop her from finding out the real truth even if no one believed her. In fact, Nikki was the only person who believed that Mason did not kill himself. Even Dominic was having a hard time believing someone would want to kill Mason. Most thought Mason got exactly what he deserved. This irritated her, much to her chagrin._

_"Don't give me that good faith crap. Just stick it up your arse." Hedges said feeling irritated by the whole process._

_"For a bloke who claims to be straight, you're awful big on wanting me to stick something up your arse," Jim observed._

_"Sod you!" Hedges growled. "I'm suing you, Jim. And I'm suing this whole sodding police department. I know my rights." _

_Helen sighed with boredom. "Look, Colin, you tell me you're innocent. You tell me you didn't kill anyone. Do I presume to be right?"_

_"I didn't." Hedges pleaded. _

_"So help me understand some things. That's all I'm asking." Helen stated. She didn't know for sure if Colin Hedges had anything to do with Mason death, but she wasn't going to leave any stones unturned. Then she remembered what she and Nikki talked about. Something about Colin didn't settle well and she was going to find out what that something was and she was damned if she was going to let Colin's excuses play into part. _

_Hedges leaned against the chair and crossed his arms, thinking. "My lawyer says not to talk to you without him present."_

_"Once you've engaged counsel, nothing you say without him present can be used against you." Helen stated. She could see Jim nostril flare as if he wanted to continue with the interrogation, but she had no choice but to let him go. He wasn't officially charge with any crime._

_Question: could Colin Hedges have killed Mason? Yes! Had he had the opportunity but what was the motive? She didn't know and couldn't ask Mason since he was dead. The case was officially closed. She had no right to pursue it further. Had she mentioned meeting Mason that night of the death._

_Next question: if Colin had drugged Mason, knocked him out, could he have killed him? It might have been possible to get the victim into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, put the noose around his neck, then, hoist him up with the rope and tie the rope off on the bedpost all by himself. Perhaps it was that simple or perhaps she had it all wrong. Could that be possible? Was she losing her touch? If Mason wasn't murdered by Colin Hedges, then who did? Who else had a motive and why? What evidence did Mason possess? Most people were killed by someone they knew, for a reason that was simple. Suicide was an easy solution but the surface was bubbling and she knew it. She just had to find a piece, something to connect the dots. Mason's death and the women couldn't be lost in vain. Too bad she couldn't convince herself of that._

_"I'm suing the police department." Hedges ranted, his heavy boots screeching on the hard floor as he paced a line back and forth to Helen's left._

_Jim lit a fag, inhaled deeply, and exhaled a thin ribbon of smoke that quickly dissipated._

_"You know that," Helen said. "It's a waste of your money that you already don't have, but hey, what do I care."_

_"What about false arrest, then?" Hedges exclaimed._

_"You're not under arrest." Helen replied calmly._

_"Harassment then," he exclaimed. _

_"We have a warrant. We have your fingerprints on the rope. You're basically screwed here, Colin." Jim said in a coy manner._

_"I didn't kill Mason," he said emphatically. "And I tried to take the rope down, that's why my fingerprints were on the rope before the officers burst into the room."_

_"Why would you do something like that," Helen questioned._

_"I wasn't thinking when I did it." Colin said. "I saw the rope and it was an instant reaction but I'm through with talking." Realising he already said too much._

_Helen watched him from the corner of her eye. "Then you got nothing to worry about. So relax and calm down. I'll be right back." She went outside and saw Nikki standing and putting her coat on with an unlit fag between her lips. She grinned._

_"I thought you quit smoking." Helen said to Nikki shaking her head. She was glad that Nikki was back helping her. In truth, she missed Nikki. She didn't realise that being apart from Nikki for days would have an affect her, but it did. _

_"You're in serious denial." Nikki laughed crudely. "Yeah well...anybody tell you that it's hard to stop. But I'm still working on it."_

_"Is that another excuse or are you trying to convince yourself." Helen replied._

_Nikki grinned, putting her fag between her fingers. "See Helen," she replied. "I was just smoking my last fag before I got serious."_

_"Well, we'll just see how long you keep that promise." Helen said, looking Nikki over. She was just as beautiful as the day they first met, and then she remembered the kiss and her face became flushed as she turned away._

_"How's Monica?"_

_"I'm afraid she's still unconscious." Nikki said. "I needed to get back to work as my workload was suffering."_

_"I'm sorry this had to happen," Helen said, giving Nikki a light squeeze and a warm smile._

_Nikki held Helen's hand for a short while, then releasing it. "Thanks for your concern. I've done enough praying and all we can do is leave it in God's hands."_

_"You know my beliefs on religion, but I will give my prayers to Monica." Helen said, smiling._

_Nikki smiled back before replying. "It's nice of you Helen." She stared at Helen realising why she was in love with the woman in front of her. Although, Helen had rough edges, she was equally passionate about the things she valued. She wasn't pretension and wanted to change the world as she did. Yet, reality was different from her mind. She took comfort knowing that Helen cared for her. How much she did not know but at least she cared._

_Helen entered back into the room. "Okay, Colin. You're free to go."_

_Jim's nostrils flared. He was just having fun with Colin. "What, Helen? Free to go, but we're not finishing interviewing him."_

_Helen rolled her eyes. "As far as I'm concerned we're finished."_

_"Does that mean I can go?" Hedges said, smiling. _

_"Yes, I have no more questions to ask. But I wouldn't leave town." Helen replied. She wasn't through with Colin Hedges but she knew she wasn't going to get anything out of him without his lawyer present. She would have to use another method. Helen knew Jim wasn't pleased but it gave her a small comfort that she could still get under his skin._

* * *

_"What the hell," Nikki shouted, jerking up and slamming her hand into the door. "Dammit, you scared the shite out of me." She rubbed a rapidly forming bruise on her hand._

_An embarrassed Helen stood in front her Nikki, grinning. She looked cute in her hurt abandoning. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Please sit down Nikki. Here, let me look at your hand. It's bleeding." Helen said._

_"Dammit, woman, you have a real bad habit of turning up without warning." Nikki sat down on her chair to give Helen a better view of her hand. "I'm beginning to think you really do have a death wish."_

_"I was already waiting here."_

_"Already waiting here?" Nikki echoed, raising her head to look at Helen. "Why the hell are you in my office? How did you get in?"_

_"Hold still." Helen pulled Nikki's hand back down. "You've got a bad gash in your hand."_

_"Forget about that. Why are you here?" Nikki demanded._

_"Do you have a first aid kit somewhere in here? You could use a few stitches. This gash is almost an inch long. Hold still," Helen ordered, grabbing a couple of tissues to press against Nikki's wound._

_"We're not going to make a fuss over a little cut like this," Nikki snapped, pressing the tissues to her hand. "I'll put some band aid on it and take a couple of aspirin. It'll be fine."_

_"Suit yourself. You're so stubborn but why should I care if you bleed to death. You really should get it checked." Helen said concerned. "It might get infected."_

_"It'll be fine," Nikki muttered, as her hand began to throb. Then she started to feel pain, but tried not to show it. She didn't want Helen to think she was weak. "See, just a minor cut, nothing to drag myself down."_

_"Do you have any peroxide?" Helen asked._

_"Peroxide will hurt like hell."_

_"Alcohol hurts but peroxide doesn't. Don't worry, I'll be gentle. We need to clean out that wound." Helen said, playing nurse and enjoying every minute of it. I could get use to this she thought. _

_"Playing Nurse Betty. Fine, there's some in the drawer over there," Nikki said, resigned to her fate. "Grab me a Tylenol with codeine while you're in there."_

_"Having a little pain, are we?" Helen asked smiling, on her way to drawer._

_"Just get the damn Tylenol as I am sure you are enjoying all this."_

_Helen returned with the drugs and peroxide. "You only need one of these and you shouldn't take them with alcohol."_

_"For god's sake, who are you, Queen Mary of innocence? Didn't realise you were a qualified medical person." _

_Helen handed Nikki the pills giving her a stern look. "__Don't be such a martyr and listen to me." Helen said with a stern look in her eyes._

_"Yes ma'am." Nikki grinned. She enjoyed Helen tending to her hand. She felt a warm sensation throughout her body as Helen touch her hand._

_"Lean towards me so I can get this wound cleaned out." Nikki rested her hand against Helen's lap as Helen poured a little peroxide into the wound._

_"Damn, that hurts like a hell," Nikki cried out, rearing away from Helen and whacking her chin with her hand. Helen stumbled against the counter, dropping the bottle and splattering peroxide over the tile. "Oh, shite," Nikki yelled, lunging forward to break Helen's fall. She slipped on the peroxide and they both fell._

_When the dust settled, they were both on the floor, Helen on her back with Nikki half on top of her. Nikki looked at Helen who was staring deeply into her eyes. She wanted to kiss Helen again right there but the pain in her hand reminded her why that wouldn't be a good idea._

_"We're not going to say a word about this to anyone," Helen said as she sat up. Ignoring the sharp pain in her right side, she wiped blood from the puncture wound her upper teeth had made in her lower lip._

_"I'm so sorry," Nikki said, scrambling to help Helen up. "Are you alright?"_

_"I'll be fine," Helen said quickly trying not to sound weird. But when Nikki was lying on top of her she felt a strong surge of electricity run through her body that it made her blush. Why did she feel that? It was like thunder exploding, except that her body was on fire with desire and it scared her. It was the same desire she got when Nikki kissed her. She wasn't supposed to feel things like that about another woman. What did that say about her? She knew she was attracted to Nikki but maybe it was just a passing phase. Just a moment but that moment was gone. _

_Sensing that Helen was feeling embarrassed and not wanting to add to whatever was making Helen's face look as if she was just told of bad news. "What's your idea of heaven, Helen?"_

_For one strange reason, nostalgic moments always brought Trisha Harris into her mind. Trisha, bright laughing eyes and warm features that filled her with joy. She would have given anything to have her alive. But then she thought about the rape and that innocence was gone._

_"My idea of heaven is four walls around me and a floor that doesn't roll when I move." Helen laughed. "It's a garden filled with flowers that waft there scent on a summer's breeze; where the bees flit from one blossom to another, where I can stroll and sit, and quietly think of the future. Heaven is sitting on a fallen tree in the woods and watching the animals play. Heaven is a house to come home to, with a roaring fire in the winter and the window flung open to the summer's breeze. Above all, is having the people I love with me." Helen moved away, her eyes thoughtful. "It's not worrying about whether the sea will take someone away from you for good."_

_Nikki was deeply moved by Helen's words. "Are you really that afraid?"_

_Helen couldn't believe she just casually let her feelings show. But she couldn't help it. She felt strangely comfortable around Nikki. In fact, she couldn't deny she felt a strong sexual urgency to kiss Nikki as she had done so many times in her dreams. But it was all wrong. "Of the oceans, yes."_

_"You never told me." Nikki smiled._

_"I'm telling you now." Suddenly Helen's mood changed._

_Nikki was surprised by Helen's sudden change. "Are you referring to your brother?"_

_"Sorry Nikki," Helen said, a sad look crossed her face. "But I'd rather not discuss my brother as this time."_

_"Okay," Nikki felt a little hurt._

_"It's not you," Helen said trying to explain to Nikki. She didn't want Nikki to turn away from her. "It's just that I'm feeling a little emotional right now."_

_Nikki placed her hand over Helen's. "Say no more."_

_"So, what's been happening in your life?" Helen asked as she tended to Nikki wound once more. "Anything interesting?"_

_Nikki looked up her eyes wide. Helen sure had a way turning things around. Nikki just grinned, thinking about what she was going to say._

_Helen toyed with Nikki's hand, her face solemn. Before Nikki could get a chance to speak Helen broke the silence. "I guess I'm undergoing... well, a crisis of conscience."_

_Nikki sat quietly, waiting. Helen obviously needed to talk. Something had dramatically changed since she first met Helen Stewart. She wondered if the case was beginning to drain her._

_"It's been a... difficult year. This case is draining and I'm finding myself in all directions. Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going in life…" her voice trailed off, and her hand left Nikki's. Nikki reached out and covered it with hers, and she looked up gratefully. "I'm just trying to decide what's next." Helen sighed._

_"We certainly have that in common." Nikki glanced away, then back at Helen. "I don't think it matters how old you are, or how many years you've been on this earth- everyone questions their direction." She quirked an eyebrow. "Of course, words are just empty when you're feeling overwhelmed. Perhaps we'd be better off getting hammered but then I'd suspect you'd tell me differently."_

_Helen laughed. "Probably, although you do have a point there. Shall we wallow in the bottle?"_

_"What wicked thought lay in that head of yours? Maybe a drink or two is what the Doctor ordered." Nikki laughed._

_"I'd guess you'd have to find that one out for yourself, Nikki," Helen said flirting. "Have you ever been in love?"_

_"I don't think so," Nikki said. But I could fall in love with you a thousand times Nikki thought. "I thought I did once, but I think I was just infatuated with her."_

_"I'm sure someone as beautiful as you had many girlfriends?" Helen said, blushing a little._

_Nikki laughed inwardly. "Nah, I'm just so picky, well at least that is what Karen says."_

_"Perhaps you just haven't found the right woman." Helen looked at Nikki with warm glowing eyes. She wanted to hold Nikki and feel her warmth. A part of her was lonely even though she had Sean. Being with Nikki, she never felt alone._

_"I guess some of us aren't as lucky as you and Sean." Nikki quipped._

_"I suppose so," Helen said quietly._

_They were quiet for a moment, comfortable with each other and the quiet darkness of the hour. Nikki stole glances at Helen's face as she got up and walked towards the window. _

_When Nikki spoke, she startled Helen. Helen was quieting thinking about Nikki and how simple things were between them. "So, DCI Helen Stewart, what is it that questioning?" Her eyes were concerned, and Helen suddenly felt on the verge of tears._

_Helen shrugged, trying to make light of the situation. "A lot of things, I guess."_

_"Sean?" Nikki dared to ask._

_Nikki was too perceptive for her own good she thought. "Yes. Not just him, of course." Helen didn't even know how to begin articulating the concerns she was feeling. "But my... relationship with Sean is the centre of it."_

_"I'm sure whatever it is will sort itself out." Nikki said, feeling jealous of Sean. She had no right of course but she felt that Helen was beginning to feel something towards her. Perhaps just a little something. It was the way she looked at her. But then that was a dangerous thing because Nikki had been burned before by a straight woman. She didn't want her emotions being toiled._

_"You're probably right, Nikki." Helen knew she should feel awkward discussing this with Nikki, but somehow, she didn't. It was actually a relief. But it was more and she was beginning to realise it. __She tried to make sense of what was happening to her, and failed miserably. Her feelings for Nikki was growing no matter how hard she tried to deny them._

_Nikki looked amuse. "You'd think by now that we'd have a grip on life, yet we always find ourselves scratching the surface. There are so many things we haven't tried, so much to learn." Nikki said, getting off topic._

_"You've probably had more important things happen to you than I." Helen said not knowing why. _

_Nikki grinned. "Helen, your life is fascinating. Trying to solve cases, getting to the truth. I don't think I could do what you do."_

_"What are you babbling about?" Helen said, "You are far more interesting than I am. You deal with people's mind. Get to the heart of the matter. I think you're fascinating."_

_"You do?" Nikki questioned._

_Helen blushed and looked down. "Yeah, I like you Nikki. You've been a good friend and I've so much to learn about you."_

_'Friend' Nikki cringed. What she wanted from Helen was more than just a friendly gesture but she had no right to think that way. "I feel the same way about you too Helen."_

_"Between the two of us, we'd be great as partners." Helen smiled, looking innocent._

_"Partners in crime or in a relationship?" Nikki raised her brow pushing the envelope._

_Helen just laughed. "Yeah, but working with you would be bad for my cholesterol." Nikki poked Helen's arm. Being around Helen was relaxing and Nikki wanted to look into Helen's eyes forever. She knew she was falling hard for the Detective and she had to stop herself._

_"Here's to high cholesterol and drinking days ahead of us." Nikki laughed._

_Helen laughed. Would it always be this innocent? The purity of friendship before it goes awry like every relationship does. Still, having Nikki around was something she wanted. She found herself wanting to spend more time with Nikki. She missed Nikki when she wasn't around. She had Sean, so why the hell was she attracted to Nikki? Yes, she was definitely attracted to Nikki. She could not deny the truth. Her body ached every time Nikki was near and it made her mad. The worst were the dreams. The sexual dreams she had about Nikki. It rattles her core. _


	16. Chapter 16

_Sorry, I just changed a few things in this chapter. If you read it already you might not even notice. I hope everyone enjoys reading this chapter. Work and life is getting hectic but I am trying to still find time to write. So enjoy and review as you wish. Thanks everyone for reading._

_**Chapter 16**_

"_Look, I know you are still worried about Monica, but you can't stop living your life. You have responsibilities." Karen said emphatically._

"_Don't you think I know that," Nikki said feeling fatigued and annoyed. "I'm not a robot without emotions. I cannot just shut them off at will. It doesn't work that way."_

"_I'm just worried about you babe," Karen responded, feeling like she was pushing Nikki. "You look like you haven't eaten much of late and you have dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep. This is not healthy"_

_Nikki looked at Karen, with a lament expression on her face. "Please don't mother me. I know what I am doing. Everyone needs to give me space."_

_Karen shook her head in disbelief. "I am sorry if you feel that way but I promise you that wasn't my intention. I understand and have been patient Nikki, but try to look at it through my eyes."_

_Nikki sighed and thought about Karen's words then she leaned closer to her. "I'm sorry for being a daft cow. I know you mean well, it's just frustrating that I cannot do anything. I feel so incompetent."_

_Karen put her arm around Nikki's shoulder and gave her a tight squeeze. "Come here and let me smother you daft clown. You know you are an extension of my family. As you know we both lost our parents and have no siblings to share our grief with. Don't you realise it silly bird, I damn well love you."_

_Nikki smiled as this was the first time Karen said to her that she 'loved her'. "I love you too over-protective big sister." She beaned. "Please adopt me Mother hen."_

"_You better have none of that," Karen scowled. "First off, you know I am not old enough to be your mother, but damn woman if I was you'd get a real good scolding from me." Both woman guffawed at the notion. "Secondly, you're getting too thin on the waist. What good sensible woman going to want a wharf board like you?"_

_Nikki gave Karen an eloquent look. "I'm more than flesh and bones. My vast knowledge of seduction and poetry will be enough to weave them into my web."_

_Karen rolled her eyes, squeezing Nikki tightly in her arms. "If I didn't love another, I'd probably be one of those women trapped in your web." She sniggered._

_Nikki stopped listening and gave Karen a repulsed look. "God, please tell me you don't love bloody Jim Fenner. I might have to disown you."_

_Karen stopped giggling. "What are you getting at fool? Since when did I tell you that I love that cheating lout? For your information, I have blown him asunder and left him picking up the pieces. Of course it wasn't easy. That man is persistent."_

"_Really," Nikki raised her brow. "I don't believe he has given up for good. He doesn't seem like the type who likes to lose. Regardless, you just mentioned moments back that you loved another."_

"_I did not say such a thing," Karen back-tracked. It was a slip of the tongue._

"_Yes you did. Why are you trying to deny it? I know what I heard." Nikki replied wondering why Karen's face was turning rosy. "Are you embarrassed?"_

_Karen shrugged her shoulders. "You're reading into nothing. Let it go."_

"_So who's the lucky chap that has stolen your heart which I am grateful it wasn't that idiot Fenner." Nikki said feeling tickled by the revelation. She knew Karen would try to weasel her way out of it. "I didn't even realise you were dating someone else other than Jim."_

"_I'm not," Karen remarked. "You're rambling on 'bout nothing. It's all in your imagination."_

"_Deny the truth all you want, but I will get it out of you someday," Nikki said giving her an evil grin. "But I am delighted you had the good sense to boot that imbecile Fenner."_

"_I suppose I was blind." Karen conceded._

_Nikki put her arm around Karen's neck, leaning forward. "Personally, I think you're running from something, or someone. And you just allowed yourself to get involved with a git like Fenner to avoid the pragmatism of your idealistic notion of what you should be rather than just being you."_

_Karen was taken back for a moment. She wondered if Nikki knew her true feelings, her inner self that she hid from everyone. "Fancy words from someone known for her romantic notions. You're too insightful for your own good. I knew there was a reason I loved you."_

"_I sense all my dear," Nikki teased. "I can't have anyone stealing my precious Karen from me. I want her all to myself."_

"_You're brilliant Nikki, but I'm not a thing to be hold." She said shaking her head, and suppressing a smile as she tried to look stern._

"_But you just said a few sentences ago that you might be one of those women trapped in my web." Nikki smiled a toothy grin._

_Karen cocked her head, looking straight into Nikki's eyes. There seemed to be a sparkle in her eyes. "It was a figure of speech you silly tit. You're like a little sister to me anyhow. And you're too young for me." _

"_I'm twenty-seven and there is only nine years difference between us. You know I'm old beyond my years. But you would want me to be your first sexual girl experience right?" Nikki grinned, knowing she was pushing Karen's buttons._

"_Nikki," Karen said feeling provoked. "Let's not cross that line because we both know you lust over Helen Stewart. The woman you're madly in love with who happens to be with someone else."_

"_Ouch," Nikki said sulking like a child. "Well, maybe I'm not your kind of flavour. But if you did like women, my best educated guess would be Yvonne. Yup, she would be more up your ally."_

_Karen felt her lungs get obstructed by the air she was breathing and she had to calm her nerves surprised that Nikki would even suggest such a thing. "Please leave Yvonne out of this. She's my best mate so let's not get into that debate."_

"_Precisely," Nikki explained. "I was just saying considering Yvonne has done the nasty with women before. Remember?"_

"_I know what you are getting at and that's not even an option. I'm not gay and I don't want to discuss who I should be sleeping with." Karen said looking over at Nikki. She was not amused. _

"_Sorry, I guess I hit a nerve," Nikki said. "Don't pay attention to my crazy notions. I didn't mean to be so crass."_

"_Listen, I know you didn't want to come to my place for the weekend. It will just be Yvonne, Helen and us. What do you say?" Karen pleaded. "You owe me after all this nonsense."_

"_Fine," Nikki finally agreed. "But you're supplying the alcohol and entertainment."_

"_You won't regret it." Karen smiled._

"_I do already." Nikki replied. _

"_In that case, breakfast in on you," Karen smiled as she watched Nikki shake her head. "And I'm ordering the most expensive item on the menu."_

"_As you wish my Queen," Nikki said, bowing her head. "As you wish."_

* * *

"_So what do we have here Zandra?" Helen asked breathing onto her hands. It was a chilly Friday afternoon and the skies were blue, with hardly any clouds. This was the eighth and ninth body and she knew the killers would not stop. The killings progressed in a much faster pace as if the killers were contemptuous towards the police._

"_Her body was found lying partially on gravel, near the river. The ligature marks on her ankles, wrists and neck were the same calling card. But something is different: it looks like she had burns on her palms and her wrist had been cut. And the strange puncture marks are the same as the previous two victims. It looks like the killers might have been experimenting – possibly with methods of torture. There is something else that is different – a shiny track of some sticky liquid, which had attracted a convoy of ants. If this substance is semen or saliva, there is the possibility that the killer's blood type could be determined. Tests on semen found in the earlier victims had revealed nothing." Zandra said. "Looks like she had been raped, sodomized and strangled." _

"_These killers are too smart to leave evidence behind." Nikki said. "If it is semen then it most likely not theirs. What are they trying to prove is anyone's guess? But I suspect, they are fulfilling a need, possibly playing a role that is most likely religious by nature since the other killings fit the pattern. You mentioned her wrist was cut. I'm guessing this was done on purpose. It seems our killers have found new methods to their madness. Believing they are righteous and cutting her wrist to extract her blood as a way to purify her blood in a Holy Grail ritual. The blood represents the wine and the Holy Grail the goblet. _

"_First Baptism of fire, now the Holy Grail. What is next?" Helen exclaimed, feeling disgusted if Nikki's intuition was true. These killers were sick individuals with a lot of aversion towards society, specifically with women. _

"_The other naked body of a girl lay close to the curb covered with a tarp. The bruises on her neck showed that she had been strangled. She had ligature marks on both wrists and ankles as well as her neck. Insects feasted on her pale skin. On her eyelid was a small piece of light-coloured fluff that was saved for the forensic experts." Said Zandra._

"_It doesn't appear that they had been murdered here. The bodies were placed deliberately where it would be found quickly." Helen remarked._

"_There's no indication that the victim had been dragged to the spot where she lay. She appears to be about eighteen-nineteen. Her hair is reddish brown and medium length. I determined that she had been strangled around midnight, some six hours or so before she was found. It's also clear that she had been raped and sodomised." Zandra said, shaking her head._

"_Some might say the prospects for solving this particular homicide is not promising." Helen said, her voice sounding exhausted. "I am sure the examiner will find parchment down their throats."_

"_The body, its naked torso covered by a shirt, had been propped up against some rocks in a seated position. The case establishes a modus operandi for the killer." Nikki said. "We need to stop these killers Helen. I'm afraid, the body count is just beginning. These killers are changing. They are getting more sadistic if that is possible. They are letting us know they are in full control."_

"_I know," Helen said with a sense of foreboding. "We need to find a link soon and fast. We need to link these religion passages somehow Nikki.""_

"_These bodies display similarities between the other victims. They had been strangled by ligature and their bodies dumped with six or so miles of one another. Looking at the scene where the body had been deposited it seems to me they know the surrounding area well enough to not have been noticed" Nikki said to Helen. "Victim nine had not been dead more than a day as Zandra estimated, but the other victim had been dead longer, her estimation about a week. Yet they were dumped together. Why?_

"_There was a sizable guardrail between the road and the spot where the body lay. It would have taken two men to lift the stocky victim number nine over the guardrail. Nine victims in a span of two months." Helen said exhausted. "We are being toyed with and I don't like it one bit."_

_Nikki looked at her watch. "Sorry Helen, but I need to head back to my office. I have a session with my special client."_

"_Are you sure it's okay to allow yourself to get too close to your client?" Helen asked, knowing what Nikki was going to say. "From what you've said she might be getting a little too attached to you."_

"_I know what I am doing," Nikki smiled. "But thanks for the concern."_

"_Okay, Nikki." Helen replied. She was not an expert but she believed in Nikki and her methods. She knew without Nikki's help they would be nowhere near to solving the case. With Nikki on board she knew they had a chance. "Are you coming to Karen's place tomorrow with us Nikki?"_

"_Yes I am."_

* * *

_(Nikki's office)_

_There was a knock on Nikki's door. "Come in."_

_Maxine poked her head in and smiled. As she entered the room it appeared she wasn't alone. She noticed Maxine smile disappear and a frown replaced it. A gentleman with a suit came in and at first she didn't cue in who was standing at her door but he looked familiar she thought to herself._

"_Sorry for intruding, my name is Sean Parr. Maxine's lawyer." He said with a smiling that appeared not genuine._

_Nikki was shocked for a moment. She had only seen his picture once and he seemed to look different in person. She wondered why he was in her office. Nikki got up and walked towards Sean, feeling indifferent. She extended her hand out to him. "It's nice to finally meet in person." She lied._

_Sean took Nikki's hand and shook it with force which surprised her at first but she gave back equally a firm handshake. She sensed that he was looking at her intently, eying her up and down as if he was sizing his competition. Did he know something she wondered? All the while Sean looked at Nikki with his mouth open. She was stunning he thought to himself, and he could not believe someone as beautiful as Nikki could be a lesbian. "I have heard only good things about you."_

_Nikki felt his words were obligatory and insincere. Something about his demeanour did not sit well with her. She knew he was up to something, but what? "Thank you." She replied cautiously._

"_This wasn't my idea," Maxine said, rather bored with Sean persistence in meeting Nikki. She was suspicious of him and his motives. Why was he all of a sudden so interested in meeting Nikki when he never cared before? _

_Nikki glanced at Maxine, for a moment forgetting that she was in the room with them. "Sorry, what wasn't your idea?"_

"_Don't pay heed to a childish girl like her," He said forcefully. "She didn't want me to meet you. She wanted to keep you all to herself." He said crudely._

_Maxine hissed at him. She knew he was being deceitful. She hated people that used deceptive as a way to charm their way into situations. "I am sure she meant no harm." Nikki explained. "Did you want something else?" Nikki said, knowing she sounded impatient with Sean._

_Sean Parr smiled and ran his fingers through his hair as he looked around Nikki's office. Then he turned his attention back to Nikki who looked like someone that could handle herself. She reminded him of an older version of Maxine Purvis. They seemed to have similar traits and personality. He knew they were both intelligent. He knew her reputation and how nobody ever challenged her because those who had were no longer around. He wondered if Nikki had a sexual attraction towards Helen and worst, if Helen was attracted to Nikki. He had to admit that she would be someone he found attracted but he wasn't there to rape Nikki with his eyes. He wanted to know if she was attracted to his woman. _

"_I just wanted to meet this Nikki Wade person that my fiancée Helen Stewart kept telling me about. I know you are helping her with a case." He said, forgetting that Maxine was standing next to him._

_Nikki looked at Sean clearly annoyed. What did Helen see in Sean Parr? He was arrogant and full of himself. She turned her head towards Maxine. "Maxine, can you please wait outside for a moment? I just need to clarify a few things with Mr. Parr. Is that okay with you?"_

_Maxine did not want to leave Nikki alone with Sean. Clearly, he seemed to have a motive and it did not seem friendly. "Okay."_

_Once Maxine was outside, Nikki turned her attention towards Sean. "Would you like to sit down?"_

"_Thanks for the offer, but I really do not want to take much of your time since I know you are busy." He said, trying to hide his discomfort._

"_I would prefer if you didn't discuss my affairs in front of a client." She said, not missing a beat. "And yes, I am helping Helen with a difficult case. I am delighted to hear that she thinks highly of me. I rather enjoy working with her."_

_Sean cringed hearing Nikki words. "Yes, you seem to have gotten under her skin."_

"_I am sorry Sean," Nikki said, sitting against her desk for support. "I don't get what you are implying."_

"_Where's my manners," he said unequivocally. "It's just that she thinks you're quite brilliant at what you do and I guess I have to concede she's correct."_

"_Was that supposed to be a compliment? It's funny in a way but Helen barely talks about you. In the beginning I didn't even realise she was engaged." She lied._

_Sean shot an incensed look at Nikki, then sneered. "Helen's very friendly. She doesn't have many friends and then there are those who like to gossip about shite."_

"_Look," she stood upright. "I don't know what information have been given to you but my work with Helen is none of your business. If this is the only reason why you are in my office then I suggest you leave right now." Nikki said firmly. She was not going to get into a debate with him._

"_You misunderstood me," He said, trying to play the naiveté card._

"_Do I?" She said not wavering. "From where I'm standing, it seems to me you are behaving like an awkward fiancé, because we both know you know that I am gay and you're worried that I might be charismatic and a predator."_

"_I might have heard something like that," he said, backtracking. "But honestly, you being gay never crossed my mind. But," he said trying to sound as if he was in control. "I don't want misguided signals to get twisted."_

"_I'm impervious to some pompous pretence you throw at me." Nikki said coldly. She was no fool. She knew his true intentions. "I don't feel comfortable at this moment. I would appreciate if you leave." She got up and walked towards her door and waited for Sean to follow. He seemed to hesitate at first then approached Nikki._

"_Well this was interesting," he said in a cunning voice. "I'd say it was nice meeting you but something tells me you are too shrewd for that." Nikki looked straight at him, letting him know that she wasn't anxious or intimated by him. "Clearly you are beautiful when you're angry, but Helen likes dicks not chicks."_

_Nikki continued looking at him, not giving him the satisfaction. "Are you sure about that? Ask yourself this question." She leaned closer to him with a smirk on her face. "Why are you here talking to me about your fiancée if you felt so confident in your relationship? Do you know who she's holding late at night when you're not there? Do you know who she's thinking about when she's alone at night? Are you sure it's you?" With that she turned her back on him and walked towards her desk. She waved without turning towards him. "You can leave now."_

_Sean's face turned a bright red. He wanted to wipe the smirk on Nikki's face and watch her suffer but all he could do was look idiotic with resentment._

_Maxine walked in with a huge grin on her face. "Did you swallow a canary? You heard the lady, leave."_

_He turned his attention towards Maxine. She was a juvenile genius who he hated. He wished for her to disintegrate in hell and he would do all he could to see her fail miserably. She always showed her discontentment towards him and he hated her for that. But what he hated the most was her ability to dismember him with her words. Why did she have to be a genius? She was always one step ahead of him. The look of pure evil in her eyes disturbed him. He knew she would be problematic and at times it frightened him. "Whatever."_

_Once he was gone Maxine turned her attention towards Nikki. "I've missed you Nikki," Maxine said, entering Nikki's office._

"_I'm sorry about missing our last session as something important came up." Nikki explained. "Please, sit and make yourself comfortable."_

"_I'm sorry about Sean, my lawyer." Maxine tried to explain. "He's rather thin on manners and intelligence."_

"_Don't worry, I know his type." Nikki said laughing. She knew how to handle Sean Parr. He was a little boy in a man's body. Spoon-fed by Daddy._

"_What did he want from you?" She asked._

"_Just a few things, nothing worth mentioning." Nikki said, not wanting to discuss it further._

"_You're lying to me Nikki," Maxine replied. "Please don't hold back. It's not healthy."_

"_We're not here to discuss my personal life," Nikki stated. She needed to be firm with Maxine. In truth, she did not want to feel probed._

"_You need to trust me Nikki," she laughed. You know I could easily find out but I much rather hear it from you. I told you before I want to know everything about you."_

"_This isn't professional and you know it. But I suspect it's irrelevant to you." Nikki said, knowing Maxine would not give up. "Yes, I want these sessions to be about honesty."_

"_You're beautiful when you're angry. I know that fool Sean Parr made you angry and I cannot condemn it." _

"_We had a disagreement…sort of," Nikki tried to rationalize._

"_About his fiancée," Maxine said smiling._

_Nikki looked up to see a smug look on Maxine's face. "How much of the conversation did you hear?" She asked._

"_Hard to say, but I might have gotten some of it. Did I tell you I have really good hearing?" Maxine said, grinning at Nikki as she watched the woman in front of her roll her eyes. "You like this Helen person don't you."_

_Nikki gurgled as she crossed her arms. Maxine was just like her. Nothing gets pass her. "You're still too clever for me."_

"_As I am to you," she conceded. Both of them laughed collectively. "I don't think Sean is fond of you."_

"_What gave you that impression," she said sarcastically. "What, I'm not his number one fan."_

"_He's a possessive sap," she stated bitterly. "You know I want you all to myself, but if you like this person that much then I would like to so meet her."_

"_Maxine," Nikki said with a stern voice. "This isn't an option. This is inappropriate and I cannot allow it."_

"_I only want to meet the woman who has captured your heart." Maxine said. "You know my love for you is not sexual."_

"_Yes, I know, but again, we are not here to discuss me. Let's take about you. Since you now know more about me it's only fair that we talk about you and your feelings. What happened that night?" Nikki said._

_Maxine leaned back on her chair. She knew she was ready to talk about that night and what truly led her to the killings. _

"_Listen, I already suspected you had a psychotic break on the night of the killings. And you mentioned you felt some remorse about the killings. I know all this and more but I want to know the real Maxine Purvis. Not just the killer, but the real you. But we can only achieve this if you're ready to talk about what really led you to the killing. Not what you have told me before or my hypothesis. I think you know what I mean."_

"_Yes, Nikki I do and I know you're right, and you have been completely honest with me so I am ready to tell you everything." She smiled. A part of her felt some relief that she could finally let go of all the demons in her head. Of course, there was no cure for her psychotic thoughts and impulses. Then there was the matter of what she knew and what she was still trying to find out. She had some pieces to the puzzle but she still needed to unravel the mystery and that was proving to be a challenge in her current state. _

* * *

_There was a knock on Nikki front door. She wondered if it was one of her neighbours. She wasn't expecting anyone else to come. _

"_Are you expecting someone Nikki?" Karen asked._

"_No," Nikki replied. "Must be solicitors or a neighbour. Just give me a moment." Nikki got up and headed towards the door. When she opened the door she found a tall man standing there, who obviously was a courier. He was holding a box and a clipboard._

"_Are you Nicola Wade?" He asked uninterested._

"_Yes," Nikki relied, curious as to why there was a courier standing in front of her door. She wasn't expecting a package. Did Barbara send her something she wondered?_

"_Can you sign here, please," he said, producing a paper for her. Nikki signed the paper and he proceeded to give her the package. "Have a good evening Madame." _

"_Um…Thank you," Nikki replied. She closed the door and headed back to the dining room where the others were drinking and waiting for her._

"_Who was it Nikki," Karen asked._

"_Some courier dropping off a package for me." She said. "But I have no clue what it could be."_

"_You mean you weren't expecting something," Helen said, feeling caution. "What if there is a bomb in there?"_

"_Really," Yvonne laughed. "Nikki, do you have enemies? Someone who might want to blow your fingers off. Then again it could be Shell Dockley, but she's too illogical to pull that off."_

"_This could be serious Yvonne." Helen said in a stern voice as her suspicion grew. She did not like the idea of someone toying with Nikki._

"_Sorry," Yvonne apologised. "But you gotta admit, that does sound outlandish."_

"_Aren't you going to open it up?" Karen said, amused by Yvonne's colourful words._

"_You think I should?" Nikki replied. Then she proceeded to open the package and inside there was a book. __"This is the Malleus Maleficarum." Nikki said cautiously. The note read '**For Your Eyes Only. Unravel the Mystery**'. Who the hell would send her this book she thought? And why the cryptic note? What was the sender trying to tell her?_

_"Isn't that the Witch's Hammer?" Helen asked. _

_"Yes, and it is arguably one of the most infamous books ever written during the Middle Ages. __It made very real the threat of one being branded a heretic, simply by virtue of one's questioning of the existence of witches and, thus, the validity of the Inquisition. It set into the consciousness, for all time, a belief in the existence of witches as a real and valid threat to the Christian world. It is a belief which is held to this day...anyone who did not fit within the contemporary view of devout __Christians__ were suspect to devastating consequences."  
_

"_How convenient that these people would be so judgmental." Helen spat. She couldn't believe how people behaved in the Middle Ages, yet at the same time, it seems that society hasn't changed much. "Who the hell would send you that book and why?"_

"_I have no clue. What does this book represent?" Nikki speculated. It puzzled her._

"_Never read that book," Yvonne replied. "But I have seen on the tele about the middle ages and witchcraft. Brutes they were indeed."_

"_Many of the modern misconceptions and fears concerning witches and the influence of witchcraft. The questions, definitions, and accusations in regard to witches, which were reinforced by its use during the Inquisition, came to be widely regarded as irrefutable truth." Nikki explained. _

"_Seems like someone had a grudge and decided to write a book of law." Yvonne replied. _

_"Whether the belief that there are such beings as Witches is so essential a part of the Catholic faith that obstinacy to maintain the opposite opinion manifestly savors of Heresy." Nikki said to Yvonne who looked confused._

"_What did you just say," Yvonne quipped. "I didn't understand a word you said."_

"_Would you like me to give you the kid friendly version," Karen sneered making Yvonne feel silly._

"_Would you like me to stick a bottle up your bottom?" Yvonne replied grinning. _

"_Ladies, behave." Helen said, laughing at Karen and Yvonne. "I think the alcohol is affecting your judgement._

"_Well this shite is fascinating Nikki." Yvonne said. "Your capacity for knowledge is unlimited. Tell me more about this Malleus Malefic…however you pronoun it._

"_The crime of Witchcraft was not the only crime of which one could be accused during the Inquisition. Questioning any part of Catholic belief, one could be branded a heretic." Nikki stated. "While the Malleus itself cannot be blamed for the horrors inflicted upon mankind, it certainly played an important role. __The Malleus Maleficarum__ is one of the most blood-soaked works in human history that unfortunately reinforced and validated Catholic beliefs which led to the prosecution, torture, and murder, of tens of thousands of innocent people."_

"_Sounds to me mankind has not changed for the better with its religious garble nonsense." Helen said passionately. "Someone clearly wants to get your attention."_

"_A systematic persecution of all nonconformists, political opponents to the church/state that deviates from the so-called norm." Karen interjected. "What a load of balderdash."_

"_You could agree that it was a handbook for every self-appointed Inquisitor, every sanctimonious Christian, and so forth. An inspirer of fear and distrust, rationalizing the intrusion of Christian civilized society." Nikki continued. She could not rationalize how someone could write such words with such prejudices and how people were so weak minded that they would literally take the book as a true testament of God or whatever beliefs that fell upon them._

"_If I remember the book was divided into three parts?" Karen replied._

"_Religion has a way of using the Devil in the equation of witchcraft." Nikki stated. "Judicial proceedings in both the ecclesiastical and civil courts. Amazing how words on paper can transcend far beyond the imagination." _

"_Everything by the book, by the letter of the law." Helen exclaimed. "Their anti-women stance is extreme even by the church's standards and they have the usual civilized obsession with sex." _

"_To conclude: All witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which is in women insatiable." Nikki said. "Fittingly torture as a method to confess their sins even if the accused was innocent," _

"_All perfectly reasonable." Helen spat. _

"_Wow that's some heavy shite Nikki," Yvonne said. "But you're bang on."_

"_Those who believe in devils and evil and all that rubbish. They subdue their own wild natures and train themselves to see only their solid, measurable, mundane reality, persecuting anyone who doesn't agree with their civilization dogma." Helen cried out._

_"But the more pressing question is why send me this book?" Nikki questioned. She had her suspicion, but if her suspicion were true, then could she be in danger? She did not want to worry Helen._

_"Do you have any ideas?" Helen asked Nikki._

_I do, but let's leave that for another day." Nikki said leaving a confused Helen looking at her. _

"_Let's talk about something lighter," Yvonne quipped. "All this nonsense witch crap is making me bloated."_

"_I agree," Karen said. "Nikki when you called to tell me that you wanted to have this little party at your place instead of mine, you promised to supply us with loads of alcohol and expensive caviar and wagyu rib-eye steak. Yet my goblet is dry, the bottle empty and my tummy growling. Where's your hospitality."_

"_Yes I did, didn't I? Where's my manners." Nikki laughed as she went to retrieve some very expensive wine and brandy from her collection. "Don't let her drink it all Yvonne."_

"_Shall we head to the table for our golden feast," Helen grinned as she winked over at Nikki. "Before Karen hogs all the caviar."_

"_I ain't eating those disgusting eggs." Yvonne replied, squinting her face. "But I can't wait to dig my fork into that wagyu steak. That thing is expensive."_

"_No need to rush," Nikki smiled. "I made plenty of food."_

"_Who knew you were such a fine chef?" Helen said, making Nikki blush. "But I feel bad that you have these lavishes dishes and you don't eat meat or fish."_

"_You might not be saying that after you've eaten," Nikki joked. "But I do love to cook even though I don't eat meat. I wanted to cook for you guys and don't worry, I have prepared myself a lovely vegetarian dish that you can all try as well."_

_"Forget about that dear," Yvonne said. "I'm all in for meat."_

_"After you Helen," Nikki said as she ushered Helen to the table. This would be an interesting evening. She didn't know why but she knew the night was still young and if she didn't know better, Karen and Yvonne was up to something._


	17. Chapter 17

**_Dear readers, enjoy this chapter. Not much to say except that things will start to get interesting and darker. Drop me a line and let me know what you think. I have changed added some extra dialogue and changes some things in this chapter when I was proof-reading it. You might not even notice, if you do enjoy._**

_**Chapter 17**_

"_So Helen, how are you and Sean doing?" Karen asked with a smile, knowing that she would get Nikki's attention, which did not disappoint her._

_"We're just fine," Helen said as a matter of fact, not really wanting to talk about him, especially in front of Nikki._

_"I can't believe you agreed to marry that toad," Yvonne said, not caring if she sounded impolite. She had little patience for Sean, whom she had expressed disapproval. She was not one to hide her displeasure if she thought the person was a snake as she thought Sean Parr was._

_"I know you don't fancy him," Helen said defeated. "You've made that clear many times before, but can you be a little less obvious."_

_"Pay no heed to her Helen," Karen replied, shaking her head at Yvonne and giving her the 'what the shite' look. "She has no manners." Yvonne kicked her leg under the table which made Karen yelp._

_Just then Helen's mobile went off. "Speak of the devil," she replied sounding annoyed. "Hello Sean." She said flatly._

_"And hello to you too._ _You don't sound happy to hear from me?" He replied, breathing into his phone feeling irritated._

"_Why are you calling me when you know I am with friends?" She said impatiently, trying not to sound annoyed to the others but her voice was harsh._

"_Can't I call my fiancée because I miss her?" He pleaded. He was wondering why Helen was being cold to him. _

_Helen got up motioning to the others as she wanted to have some privacy. As she walked towards the other room Nikki watched her demeanor turn fridgid. Her face seemed flush and she knew from her expression that she wasn't happy that Sean called. "Sean, why are you really calling me?"_

"_Tsk…tsk…I didn't realise I needed a reason?" He said loudly to her. In truth, he wanted to know if Nikki mentioned anything about their encounter but Helen had not mentioned anything._

"_Are you checking up on me? I feel like you are letting your jealous nature get the better of you." Helen spat. She didn't know why she felt irritated by him but she did. What did that say about her?_

"_Why should I be jealous? Is there a reason I need to be jealous?" He said in a cunning way. A part of him did not trust Helen. He knew there was something terribly wrong with their relationship and he could not put his finger on it but ever since Nikki Wade came into the picture Helen has not been a doting fiancée. In fact, they have not been intimate for weeks. Something he could not understand. He was trying to be patient with Helen as he knew her work was putting a huge strain on her, but there was more to the picture. _

"_Don't be condescending," she said angrily. She did not want to get into another debate or argument. All they did was argue and it was getting on her nerves. She was close to breaking. "You know where I am so there is absolutely no reason for you to call, unless of course, you have another motive?"_

"_Why are you being a heartless bitch?" Sean said exasperated. "You've been so cold to me and I never get time with you anymore and you rather be with your friends than with me. Should I not matter?"_

_Helen breathed closing her eyes. She knew a part of what Sean was saying was true. She was being emotionless and detached. "Listen, I know I have been temperamental and aloof. I need you to be patient with me. But what I don't need is you being a possessive partner."_

"_I have been more than patient. I don't understand Helen. You spend more time with Nikki Wade than with me. And you're acting more like an indifferent statue than a loving partner." He said in a juvenile tone._

"_What is that supposed to mean? Why do you have to bring up Nikki?" Helen said questioning. "You have never met her and your ranting is preposterous." She was now incense. _

"_Just how well do you know her? I know she's charming but I don't trust her. What if she's trying to fuck with you. I have a right to know." He demanded._

"_Are you kidding me? Do you hear yourself ranting." Helen said angrily. "We're not having this conversation. Goodbye Sean." She said loudly before hanging up. She felt rattled and her heart was racing. Did Sean sense something between her and Nikki? But Sean has never met Nikki so she could not understand why he would be jealous of Nikki. She felt a little exposed but decided to not let her argument with Sean ruin her evening._

"_Is everything okay," Nikki said, as she looked at Helen who made her way back to the table. Her face was flushed and she was gripping into her phone as if she was ready to break it._

"_Sorry," Helen said, feeling stupid. "I'm okay really."_

_"Are you sure everything is find?" Karen replied._

_"Nothing I can't handle. Just a misunderstanding." Helen said, wishing to forget Sean for the moment. It was selfish of her to think that way but she didn't care._

_Karen and Yvonne looked at each other smiling. They knew there was trouble in Helen and Sean's relationship. Nikki continued looking at Helen worried. She had a feeling that Sean brought up her name. She didn't know why but she felt as though he was going to give her a hard time. The last thing she wanted was to worry about some jealous fiancé. She knew her feelings for Helen was beyond her control. She didn't mean to fall in love with Helen and at the same time she knew deep inside that Helen had flirted, had mentioned she cared for her and they seemed to have some undeniable chemistry that couldn't be fabricated. What they had was genuine, but Helen still was engaged to Sean. And Nikki still had no clue how she was going to keep her emotions in check. It was only a matter of time before she acted upon her feelings again and she only hoped in some small miracle, Helen would reciprocate._

* * *

_(Later in the evening)_

"_Let's tell ghost stories," Karen replied feeling giddy. Her head was spinning and she was feeling high from the alcohol. She knew she liked to drink too much._

"_Let's dance instead," Yvonne said, trying to get up but feeling woozy. "Me think I'm drunk and need to tinkle in the loo."_

"_Too much information there sweetie," Karen hiccupped spilling her drink._

_"Perhaps you should follow Yvonne to the loo to make sure she doesn't get lost." Nikki quipped, smiling._

_"Don't be daft," Karen said sticking out her tongue and making silly faces. "And I wouldn't be talking." She said grinning, then looking over at Helen who was enjoying the amusement._

_"Best keep that gob shut if you don't intend to win this argument." Nikki said, arms crossed and looking intently at Karen._

_"Who me?" Karen sulked, giving Nikki the middle finger jokingly in protest._

"_Real lady-like," she crossed her arms. "Maybe you should see where Yvonne's at. Maybe she fell into the toilet." Helen giggled spilling her drink. She had a wonderful time tonight and didn't want to go home anytime soon._

"_She doesn't know the meaning of a lady when she's drunk," Yvonne said, waltzing back, as she nearly stumbled. "Well, I want to dance," she went over to Karen and whispered something into her ear._

"_Yes, dancing is what we need right now. I don't want another round of truth or dare." Karen giggled._

"_I knew you two would drink me dry." Nikki shook her head laughing. "You both are ridiculously cute together whenever you're both drunk. Do you realise how cute you two would be as a couple?"_

_Yvonne spilled her drink, gathering her thoughts together. "You daft cow Nikki, how can you say we'd look cute together. I may be charming, delightful and endearing but that cow over there is foul and bad-tempered. She's so uncool." Yvonne stuck her tongue out to Karen, giving her a wide grin._

"_Uncool and bad-tempered." Karen went over and pinched Yvonne on the arm. "None of that gibberish from your trivial rant. And who's drunk Nikki?" Karen said, her speech a little blurred. "I have you known, I can still stand."_

"_Don't worry Karen," Nikki said leaning against her body. "Yvonne is just jealous of you and me. You're a picturesque of beauty, but I must agree with Yvonne." She grinned. "You can be bad-tempered and even worst when you are drunk."_

_Karen gave Nikki an icy stare. "Is there a reason why your gob is working overtime? I didn't mention anything embarrassing about you but I just might."_

"_I could say the same," Nikki leaned in closer and planted a kiss on Karen's nose. Both woman started laughing as Yvonne rolled her eyes and Helen looked on entertained._

"_You always got a cracking idea formulating in that eccentric brain of yours." Yvonne said._

"_Do I," Nikki said. "I guess I can be idiosyncrasy."_

"_Words that the rest of us can understand." Yvonne said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head._

"_Insolent fool," Nikki joked. "__Who hath herd of such crueltye before…__she sat and sowde that hath done me the wrong._

"_Shakespeare, really." Yvonne laughed. "I hated that shite in school."_

_Nikki smiled. "From off a hill whose concave womb reworded…A plaintful story from a sist'ring vale, My spirits t'attend this double voice accorded, And down I laid to list the sad-tuned tale, Ere long espied a fickle maid full pale, Tearing of papers, breaking rings atwain, Storming her world with sorrow's wind and rain."_

_"Aye, a Lover's Complaint," Karen replied. Both Yvonne and Helen looked at each other, neither of them understanding what Nikki recited, except that is was Shakespeare. "Never mind," Karen said realising it wasn't worth explaining the meaning._

_"'Nuff about that romantic shite," Yvonne equipped. "I want to dance."_

_Nikki looked over at Helen who was sitting quietly, enjoying the conversation between them. "No doubt," she said. "But no ghost stories and no dancing as I don't want to annoy the neighbours."_

"_You're no fun," Karen stuck out her tongue at Nikki again. "And yes, dancing is what this party needs. Someone needs to twirl that Jukebox of yours. It ain't for the looking only."_

_Nikki shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as Helen watched amused. _

_"I think you're outnumbered Nikki." Helen replied, giving Nikki a warm smile. _

"_You to?" Nikki looked at Helen who wore a cute smile. She knew she couldn't resist. "Fine. I shall amuse you all."_

_At first Karen and Yvonne starting dancing and then Helen joined them leaving Nikki watching. Helen motioned for Nikki to join them. At first she hesitated but they all were having so much fun so she decided to let her inhibition down and join them. She felt a little self-conscience about her dancing so close to Helen but the alcohol was making her feel more at ease. They continued drinking and dancing and at some point Yvonne decided to mix it up. She wasn't going to let a good plan go to waste. She made her way to Nikki's Jukebox and selected a song that she knew would be perfect. She smiled inwardly and then headed back to where everyone was dancing. Then suddenly a slow song came to play and Nikki stopped and noticed a rather smiley face Yvonne grab Karen and started to dance._

"_Are you two not going to dance?" Yvonne equipped holding Karen close to her. "Don't be a poop head Nikki and ask the lady to dance." As both Karen and Yvonne smiled and continued dancing with each other. They gave each other a knowing look._

_Nikki looked at Helen who seemed amused. "What do you say Helen. Let's show those two old birds how it's really done." Nikki laughed nervously._

"_Okay," Helen blushed as she took Nikki's hand. She_ felt_ surprisingly calm._

_As both women embraced each other the words to 'open arms' played softly in the background. It seemed to be the perfect song. Nikki could smell Helen's hair. She wanted to run her fingers along Helen's back but had to refrain. The close proximity was starting to have an effect on both women. Helen's heart began to race faster and she felt like the room was spinning around her. Nikki felt like she was on a high and she didn't want this dance to ever end. As the music progressed both Nikki and Helen began to relax and they pulled each other closer. They didn't even notice that Karen and Yvonne were watching with interest. They were lost in each other's company. Nikki lowered her hand and placed it on Helen's waist. Slowly she pulled Helen closer to her. Helen could feel the warm breath of Nikki's on her shoulder and felt a little tingling sensation go up and down her spine. She rested her head on Nikki's chest feeling her heartbeat. This felt heavenly and Helen couldn't understand where all these emotions were coming from. She didn't care at the moment. She liked what she felt and she didn't want it to end. When the song ended, both Helen and Nikki just stood there holding each other not wanting to move. They continued to look into each other's eyes wondering what each though. Helen stared into the deep brown eyes that held her captive and noticed what she thought was a look of desire. Nikki felt like she was going to explode. She needed to get away. She needed a cold shower, anything. Nikki abruptly excused herself from Helen. She headed straight for the loo. All she knew that if she stayed any longer she was sure she would kiss Helen. When Nikki entered the loo she poured water onto her face. She looked in the mirror and noticed how flushed her face was. Looking into Helen's eyes was more than she could handle and she thought about their dance and how sensual it felt to her. She wondered if Helen thought the same too. For a minute she thought she felt Helen respond to her touch. When Helen went to sit back she felt sick. She couldn't believe what she was feeling and she started feeling guilty. This is wrong yet it felt so right, so natural she thought to herself._

* * *

"_I think you two should take the extra room. I will not send you home in your state." Nikki said knowing both of them had drank too much._

"_But I haven't finished my drink." Karen replied, sulking._

"_I can't share a bed with that loud snorer." Yvonne sneered._

"_You'll do just fine, the bed is rather large," Nikki said. "Stop your complaining. It was your idea to get wasted. I can't have you two leaving my place and I have plenty of room."_

_Yvonne walked towards Karen and put her arm around her shoulder. "How about we continue this party in the bedroom. Those two are a killjoy."_

_Helen laughed out-loud as Nikki gave her a stern look. "That's a great idea Von. Here, take this bottle and you and Karen can tell ghost stories to each other until your eye-lids shut."_

"_Fine by me," Karen said, feeling unsteady. She was tired but didn't not want to stop the fun she was having with Yvonne. It was refreshing. "Those two are a bore anyhow. Just you and me babe. Best mates forever." She hiccupped._

_And as they headed towards Nikki's guess room, Nikki and Helen continued giggling. "Those two are a pair." Nikki stated. _

"_You think they will go quietly into the night?" Helen asked amused._

"_Not unless pigs fly," Nikki remarked, grinning. "But I feel better having them sleep over. They are going to have a massive hang-over tomorrow."_

* * *

_(A little while later…)_

"_Karen and Yvonne are sure noisy." Nikki stated. "I thought they would by now have fallen fast asleep."_

"_I think they are jumping on the bed." Helen looked at Nikki._

"_They must be trying to recapture their lost childhood." Nikki said, trying to listen to the sounds of giggles and snorting coming from the room._

"_But I bet they are having fun," Helen replied looking over at Nikki with a mischievous smile._

"_Are you daring us to use my bed as a trampoline?" Nikki asked, brow upright._

"_No, but we could have a pillow fight." Helen replied, grinning._

"_I'm a champion at archery so I have an excellent aim," Nikki smiled. "Hitting you would be like taking candy from a child."_

"_Don't be so quick to make a crude judgement," Helen said her brow furled. "I might just surprise you."_

_Both women looked at each other, then looked over at the bed, waiting for the other to make a move. Before Helen could move Nikki dashed to the bed and grabbed a pillow and began to hit Helen with it. Helen grabbed a pillow and tried to protect herself but Nikki's lightning fast hands were quick and she was shocked how fast Nikki could be. _

"_Ouch," Helen complained, rubbing her arm and pretending to be hurt. "You meanie."_

"_Be quiet my slave," Nikki responded with a sly grin as if she was up to something. "With your non-consensual ideation which I shall induce pain/humiliation to arouse you."_

_"Are you exploring sadomasochism?" Helen questioned, looking over a Nikki with a surprise look. "You dark horse Nikki. I never would have imagined."_

_"I have a few tricks up my sleeve. And I enjoy dominance and submission. Shall I restraint you with my interpersonal dynamics as perverse as that might sound?" Nikki chuckled. She enjoyed feeling relaxed and having Helen by her side. _

"_Are you offering to bondage and discipline me?" Helen said with a seductive tone. She would play along with Nikki. "You're not a closet cross-dresser are you?"_

"_No," Nikki said bowing down her head as if to acknowledge Helen. "Nor am I a rubber aficionados." She chuckled which made Helen double over with laughter. "Will you be my obedient submissive or shall I say 'bottom' as I shall be the dominant or 'tops' as they refer to it within the community."_

"_You have such wealth of knowledge in this field. You truly must be a master in your art." Helen said, trying to keep a straight face at Nikki. But it was getting hard because Nikki kept making silly faces._

"_I must admit," Nikki said still giggling. "Early in my career I had a client who was into sadomasochism and a bag full of identity issues and social awkwardness. You could say she had attachment issues. She often attached her identity to living objects to avoid her reality. She had this fantasy that I would fall madly in love with her. I didn't realise that she had developed feelings for me in an unhealthy way."_

"_You're such a heartbreaker," Helen winked over at Nikki. "Kiss the girls and make they cry."_

"S_ome clients can become emotional attached no matter how professional you are."_

"_But you allow your special client to get attach." Helen said wondering why Nikki was different with Maxine Purivs. At times she still did not understand but she trusted Nikki and in truth, it wasn't her place to butt in. How Nikki worked was none of her business but she was glad that Nikki trusted her and confided in her._

"_I can't explain it, but she's different." Nikki stated. "I never get involve but somehow she's different. It's not a sexual thing for her. I can't explain it."_

"_How can you be so sure she isn't falling in love with you Nikki," Helen said feeling a little jealous. "You might be playing with fire."_

"_No, it's more like a sibling thing." Nikki said looking over at Helen. "Trust me when I say Maxine is like an onion. The more layers I peel the more fascinated I am. I know her crime is heinous but I believe there is so much more to her story."_

_"I do trust you and besides, it's not my place to tell you how to do your job." Helen said, her eyes roaming Nikki's bedroom. "Nikki, this status of Athena is beautiful. The Goddess of Wisdom, Courage, and so many more." Helen said, excited. "Why do you keep it in your bedroom?"_

"_She keeps me company at night," Nikki giggled. "I love Greek Mythology. It's the body of myth __and teachings that belong to the ancient Greeks, concerning their gods and heroes, the nature of the world, __and the origins and significance of their own cult and ritual practices._

"_Is there anything that you do not know?" Helen asked. _

"_I am sure there is plenty I don't know." Nikki replied. "But like I said before, I love reading when I was a child. I was very curious and I suppose I started reading from an early age. You could say I was advance for my age." Nikki said shyly. She didn't want to seem like she was intellectual nerd but that was exactly what she was. _

"_Should I dare ask your IQ?" Helen said, her brow upright. "Although, I realised you're quite extraordinary, and if I must say, bloody brilliant at everything you do."_

"_Does it matter what my IQ is?" Nikki said, not wanting to answer that question. She was always different from her classmate as she found the work material easy. There was a constant problem with other kids who was jealous that she was smart. So she tried hard not to overshadow her classmates until one of her teachers embraced her talent and suggested to her parents that she should go to a school for gifted children. "Just say I'm in the gifted range."_

"_Don't take it wrong Nikki," Helen said, sensing that she caused some discomfort for Nikki. She was about to reply before Nikki cut her off._

"_Sorry," Nikki replied quickly. "I just don't like going around to folks and remarking on my IQ. I always found that people looked at you differently and expect you to be a brain surgeon or a scientist. I like what I do. Should that no be enough?"_

"_I don't look at you differently," Helen replied, smiling. "And I am sure you'd be a brilliant brain surgeon if you wanted to. I admire the fact that you're so humble in your approach and your heart is as wide as the ocean." _

"_Yes, but that is before you knew I was extraordinary." Nikki said laughing. "What I do is fulfilling. But it's kind of you to think my heart is as wide as the ocean."_

"_Listen, I always suspected you were gifted in your knowledge." Helen said. "It doesn't matter if you're score is 100 or 140. It doesn't change my mind that you're so incredibly talented. What I like about you is you're humble and got a wicked sense of humour."_

_Nikki continued looking at Helen. Her heart felt warm and she welcomed Helen's kind words._ "_Even though I read a lot and seem to have an endless book of knowledge in my brain?" _

"_You're a Greek nerd, I shall confess to that." Helen mocked, trying to rattle Nikki. "But I like nerds. And believe me when I say you don't look anything like a traditional nerd."_

"_How kind of you to say." Nikki said mockingly. _

"_I must confess I don't know much about Greek Mythology but I do know Zeus and Athena." Helen quipped. _

"_Did you know Zeus was plagued by the same concern and, after a prophecy that the offspring of his first wife, Metis, would give birth to a god greater than he and Zeus swallowed her. She was already pregnant with Athena, however, and she burst forth from his head—fully-grown and dressed for war."_

"_That I did not know." Helen giggled watching Nikki get excited discussing Greek Mythology. "What other interesting tales to do you have about Greek Mythology?"_

"_Did you know the oldest known Greek literary sources, Homer's epic poems __Iliad__ and __Odyssey__, focus on the Trojan War and its aftermath?" _

"_Nope," Helen quipped. "I'm just a humble Scottish gal who reads crime books and listens to folk music in her spare time."_

"_And I'm supposed to be the geek. At least I like rock music and can recite most poetry by Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare." Nikki remarked, then realising what she said, she started laughing out-loud. "I guess that still makes me a geek at heart."_

"_I'm afraid so Nikki." Helen laughed. "Maybe we can both nerd-out. Although, I am way out of your league on the nerd department."_

"_Did you know Sigmund Freud introduced a trans historical and biological conception of man and a view of myth as an expression of repressed ideas? Dream interpretation is the basis of Freudian myth interpretation and Freud's concept of dream work recognises the importance of contextual relationships for the interpretation of any individual element in a dream. According to Jung, myth-forming structural elements must be present in the unconscious psyche."_

_"Nikki," Helen said staring into Nikki's brown eyes, pretending to be serious._ "_You're getting all nerdy on me," Helen laughed as she pushed Nikki towards the bed causing her to fall in surprise. _

"_That's a cheap shot." Nikki said trying to regain her balance. "Now you're forcing me to get aggressive with you." Nikki gestured at Helen's ribs with a naughty look._

"_Don't you dare," Helen said looking at Nikki who had a twinkle in her eye._

"_Really," Nikki said, stepping closer to Helen making her breathe harder. "Who's going to stop me? Are you going to hand-cuff me?" She said as she let out a hiccup._

"_Looks like someone might have the hiccups." Helen giggled._

"_It's your fault if I do," hiccup. Just then Nikki had an idea. It was brilliant. She grabbed Helen's hand and a bottle of wine and a blanket. "Come with me woman."_

_Helen followed Nikki, still holding hands. It felt nice. Her whole body felt warm and it wasn't just the alcohol making her feel that way. "Where are you talking me?"_

_Nikki just smiled. "Just follow me and relax." Nikki pulled on a cord that was hanging down and brought down a ladder. Helen looked at Nikki with surprise. "Trust me." They both made their way up the wooden ladder and outside onto Nikki's roof top. The air was crisp and cool and Helen shivered as the cool air permeated her body. They made their way to a swinging chair._

"_Sit here with me. This is the best view from my rooftop." Nikki said. "You're shivering. Here let me cover you with this blanket." Nikki wrapped the blanket around a shivering Helen who seemed stiff. _

_The night was clear and they could see many stars in the sky. "Wow, this view is beautiful. I cannot believe how many stars is out tonight." Helen remarked feeling shy around Nikki. Perhaps it was Nikki's body pressing against her that made her heart skip a beat and she tried not to show that her breathing was laboured. _

"_I have a telescope right over there. Would you like to see the stars?" Nikki said excitedly._

_"Are you kidding me? Of course I would." Helen said eagerly like a school girl. "This is a first for me."_

_They made their way towards the telescope as Nikki adjusted the telescope to give Helen a better look._ "_Look through here." She motioned to Helen. "That's star is called Draco the Dragan."_

"_Bloody brilliant Nikki," Helen said looking through and amused at what she saw. "How come you've never mentioned this before? It is fantastic looking at stars and our galaxy. Your telescope looks advance. For some a year's wage." _

"_I guess I really did not think about it. I didn't know if you were into science stuff. And yes, it cost me about 30,000 pounds. I had it specially made just for me." Nikki knew Helen would be shocked. _

"_You're something amazing. I wish I had your wealth. Still, I'm never bored when I'm with you. I could stay up here with you forever." Helen said realising what she said yet still found herself getting lost in Nikki's eyes as the words she said meant so much and radiated truth. _

"_I'll make you a makeshift bed then," Nikki said jokingly. "So you can stay here with me forever." Her body felt warm and she wanted so badly to hold onto Helen. "Here let me move the telescope this direction. Look through." Nikki said to Helen._

"_What is that star's name?" Red asked._

"_Bird of paradise," Nikki replied. "Did you know the bird of paradise flower bears an unmistakable resemblance to a brightly coloured bird in flight? They are native to South Africa and represent joyfulness and not surprisingly paradise itself." _

"_Interesting," Helen said looking into Nikki's eyes. They seemed to twinkle and she found it hard to look away. Nikki was so beautiful and captivating that she found herself wanting more. Needing more. It scared her to her core._

"_As every flower lovers know, flowers have a language of their own." Nikki remarked smiling. "Ambrosia represents 'your love is reciprocated and Red Carnation represents 'my heart aches for you'."_

"_Again, is there anything you do not know?" Helen said amused. She wondered what flower she represented to Nikki._

"_Come let's sit down and drink ourselves silly and leave Karen and Yvonne to their musing." Nikki said, taking Helen's hand as they walked quietly __back to the swing. "Don't be afraid to get closer Helen. It's a little chilly and the blanket might not be enough to keep us warm."_

"_Well, whose fault is that?" Helen quipped eyeing Nikki. Again she was feeling a little shy and embarrassed being so close to Nikki's body. She knew what she was feeling was dangerous and sensual._

"_Who me, I'm innocent." She replied, smiling at Helen who looked so beautiful that she couldn't pry her eyes away._

"_What are you looking at?" Helen said feeling self-conscience. Did she had something on her face?_

"_It's just you look so beautiful under the moonlight. You're a sight for eyes that dare not touch but admire from afar." Nikki said, not caring about her words or if was making Helen feel uncomfortable. All she knew was that she needed to say to those words to her._

"_Nikki," Helen said blushing as she looked down, feeling nervous and fidgeting with her hands._

"_No, I mean it, you're really are beautiful and I am sorry if that makes you uncomfortable." Nikki continued. She was tired of holding back her emotions. Maybe it was the stars daring her to open her heart or the full moon enticing her to use words like poetry._

"_It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. I enjoy hearing your words" She said her body was on fire and being so close to Nikki was having a desire effect on her. She realised if Nikki kissed her at this moment, she would not be able to stop her. She felt such a strong sexual desire and she was afraid that Nikki could see it in her eyes._

"_I like you Helen," Nikki said. "No, I mean I really like you. I know you know that I am attracted to you." Nikki said. Helen was quiet. "I know I should not be telling you this but I want to be open about what I feel and I don't expect anything from you. I know you don't feel the same way and that's okay. I really appreciate your friendship and hope that this doesn't affect how you feel about me or act in front of me."_

"_Nikki," Helen went to say, but Nikki stopped her._

"_It hurts just looking at you." She took a gulp from the bottle. "Sorry if I unloaded this on you. I didn't mean to fall for you. I respect our friendship too much to do anything stupid."_

"_Don't feel stupid and please do not apologise," Helen said, feeling all sorts of emotions. She felt her walls crack. "I think you're beautiful too Nikki, but."_

"_You don't have to explain Helen, really. I understand." Nikki tried to reassure Helen that she understood._

_Helen looked at Nikki with desire. Her emotions were making her high and she had to close her eyes in fear of being exposed. She didn't know what to do or say. Nikki was being honest about her feelings and she felt ill for lying._

"Hel_en, can I ask you something and please be honest with me," Nikki said. Was Helen ready for whatever Nikki was about to ask her?_

"_Okay." Was all Helen could say._

"_Remember that night when we were both drunk," Nikki asked. Helen felt a sudden foreboding. She knew where Nikki was going with her line of questioning. _

_Helen looked at Nikki and she fell to pieces. She had to cover her face with her hands._

_"What's wrong Helen? Sorry, was I being pushy." Nikki felt disappointed and annoyed at herself. Maybe telling Helen how she really felt was not such a good idea._

"_No Nikki," she said, her eyes watery. She was having a hard time looking Nikki in the eyes._

_Nikki looked at Helen and then everything bec__ame clear. She smiled. "You remembered don't you." Helen was silent. "All this time you knew and said nothing, but why Helen. Where you just being polite?"_

"_Please Nikki," Helen pleaded as she looked up to meet Nikki's eyes. She could see the love in Nikki's eyes and it made her heart melt once more. It was then she finally realised how important Nikki was to her and how much she needed her in her life._

"_No, I cannot let this go. Why did you keep that from me?" Nikki knew the reason why but she wanted to hear it from Helen. "You felt something didn't you."_

_Helen couldn't look at Nikki in fear of breaking. She knew she was transparent and she could not deny the electric current running throughout her body. _

"_You felt something when I kissed you and…now it makes sense to me. You feel something for me and you're too afraid to admit it." Nikki finally said. She knew she was pushing the boundaries but looking over at Helen and seeing desire in her eyes, she knew what she was saying was true._

"_I can't Nikki, please understand." Helen pleaded. "I value your friendship so much and I don't want to hurt you intentionally."_

"_I understand what you think you need to say…but you're fooling yourself if you believe in that shite and you can't even look me in the eye." Nikki said, feeling her heartbeat face faster. "Tell me you feel nothing for me, please."_

_"You don't know what you're asking of me Nikki," Helen pleaded which seemed to fall on deaf ears. "I don't know what you expect me to say."_

_Nikki laughed crudely, realising Helen was just making excuses. She took Helen's hand and placed it on her heart. "I don't expect anything," she continued. "But I look into your eyes and I see that you're not being honest with me. Please don't make me regret this."_

_"You know I care about you," Helen replied, as she continued looking at Nikki. "Can't that be enough?"_

_Nikki smiled and still holding Helen's hand on her heart she said, "You're so beautiful when you're flushed. I won't apologise for wanting to kiss you right now."_

_Helen looked into Nikki's bright brown eyes, and realised how much this woman in front of her affected her heart. But at the same time it was wrong because she was with Sean. "I'm sorry, did I mislead you?"_

_"Not for a moment," Nikki smiled. She knew Helen felt something for her and she would be patient and wait._

_"Because you know I'm not gay," Helen stated too eagerly._

_"I'm a serial monogamous," Nikki replied coolly. "But if you asked me to be your mistress I'd comply. I'm not asking you to define yourself with labels. Why can't you see that?"_

_"I'm serious Nikki," Helen stated feeling as though Nikki was testing her patience. "Don't belittle me."_

_"So am I," Nikki responded quickly. "But that doesn't give you reason to ignore the fact that you have not answered my earlier questions. Your conscious struggle for psychological one-upmanship is a passive-aggressive behaviour to demoralise your thinking. I have no ulterior transactions that I am not fully aware of."_

_"Please don't talk down to me as if I am a child," Helen said, feeling asinine. "We're both adults here and I would appreciate your understanding."_

_"You're a type A personality. You use manipulative head-games and sabotage to control the outcome. In intimate relationships, you undermine your partner's belief in the validity of their own perceptions driven from past experience and denial. So Helen, don't trivialize of what is felt to be less important. You don't even realise unconsciously that what you do is a direct result of your need to maintain your own self-deception."_

_Helen was vexed that Nikki was treating her like a patient and using words to dissect her. "I don't need this psycho-babble shite. Not from you Nikki. Don't you dare pull that crap over me and make me look like I'm some relationship monster."_

_Nikki sighed and she looked at Helen who looked like she was ready to scream. "You don't see it Helen. Your psychological manipulation. Your need to change perception of others through underhanded tactics. I am not saying this as a negative example to persuade you into anything. You can decide your story and destiny, but you need to be honest with yourself. Are you truly being honest with yourself?"_

_"That's enough Nikki," Helen shouted, her voice sounding angry._

_"I don't think you are a relationship monster. I am not blaming you for your failed relationships. You have so much love to give but you're too damn scared to reveal your inner self that you build many walls. It's very common."_

_"Please Nikki, why is this so important to you?" Helen said, feeling tired. She felt drained and probed. "You have no right to ask me that question and dissect me."_

_Nikki looked at Helen realising that perhaps she was over-analysing but deep inside she knew she was right. Helen was in avoidance and it troubled her but did she have the right to demand that from her? She took Helen's hand once more and squeezed it gently, as she ran her fingers on Helen's face. _"_Tell me you don't feel what I am feeling now. I can feel you…I can feel the electrical charge between you and me and I know it's not only coming from me."_

"_Nikki…don't" Helen jerked her hand away._

_Nikki grabbed Helen's hand and placed in on her beating heart once more. "Do you feel that? It's beating fast because of you. I feel so alive because of you." She looked deep into Helen's eyes. _

_Helen closed her eyes. Her world was spinning and the ache she felt in her heart and her loins were unbearable. She was afraid to look at Nikki in fear of melting into those deep puddle of brown liquids. Finally she opened her eyes and saw Nikki looking at her with concern. Even though Nikki just confessed her attraction and probed her like no one has ever done before she still thought of her well-being. Nikki had such a kind heart. At that moment, everything was clear. She was in love with Nikki. Not just in love, but deeply in love with the woman who captured her heart. She was feeling a sexual desire she had never felt before and it was driving her mad. She wanted Nikki to touch her, feel her with such intensity that it was overwhelming her senses. What was she to do? Never in her life had she desired someone as much as she desired Nikki, yet she couldn't move. She couldn't breathe, let alone think straight._

"_Are you okay? I'm so sorry Helen. I should not have pressured you." Nikki said looking down. "I'm sorry if my words seemed harsh. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was out of order and had no right to make judgement on you."_

"_No, Nikki," Helen said raising Nikki's chin to meet her own. Their faces were inches apart. "You did nothing wrong. You're right…I'm not being completely honest with myself."_

"_What are you trying to get at?" Nikki said her heart racing faster._

"_Don't make me say it because I think you know what I mean." Helen exclaimed. "Please, just leave it at that. Nothing can be gained from my mental state at this moment."_

_Nikki felt defeated. She didn't want to pressure Helen further so she just nodded in agreement. Perhaps she was expecting too much. Did she scare Helen off?_

_"Sorry, Nikki," Helen said, her voice sounding strained. "I'm feeling rather tired and I think maybe it's best if I should go."_

_Nikki looked up terrified. She cursed herself for being aggressive and demanding. "Please Helen, don't leave me here alone." Nikki said with a sad expression. "It's late and you should stay__. Look I'm sorry for being such an idiot, a twat. I shouldn't have rambled on acting forceful. Please forgive me for being so rash with my words. Let's start over." Nikki smiled weakly. _

_"I don't know if that's a good idea considering," Helen said, tapering off._

_"Don't turn me into a kidnapper. I really enjoy your company and I hate to be alone right now. You've been a good mate so forget everything I said. Please. Let's start over." Nikki smiled extending her hand out. "Please to meet you." _

_Helen could not resist Nikki as she looked at her with hurt puppy eyes. "Okay, you win." Helen smiled back. She knew she should go but looking at Nikki looking so cute and adorable she could not fight back her emotions. In truth, she really did not want to leave Nikki's side even though she felt like she was on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Although she knew things were messed up and what transpired between them were unsettled, she felt the need to be near Nikki. But would they be able to forget the strong attraction they felt for another? Would their friendship crumble to the pressure or bring them closer? Even though Nikki was elated that Helen decided to stay the night, how would they continue to hold back. There was so much unspoken, unfinished. But for the time being, she would swallow her pride and emotions and give Helen her space. There was nothing else she could do._


	18. Chapter 18

_Sorry it has taken me a little longer to post this chapter as I have been busy with work. It's a continuation from the last chapter so everyone enjoy. Drop me a line to let me know what you all think. _

_**Chapter 18**_

"_I love your vase collection of vinyl records," Helen said, looking though Nikki's records. "I didn't realise you enjoyed the oldies."_

"_There's a lot you still don't know about me," Nikki said smiling like a school girl. "My parents had a lot of old records and I remember they use to play the likes of Buddy Holly, Patsy Cline, Billie Holiday, and The Carpenters." Nikki said, watching Helen go through her vinyl records. "I love Karen Carpenter…her soulful voice resonates through me."_

"_You're an old soul, Nikki. I imagine your solitary existence isn't a form of anti-social temperament, but you are disinterested in the pursuits and interests of your own age group." Helen said smiling. "I guess some might say you are introverted."_

"_My solitary existence," Nikki laughed, giving Helen a warm smile as if she understood. "I suppose I understand the transience of life. It might seem a little grandiose and overly noble, but old souls find themselves naturally gravitating towards the intellectual side of life which I suppose I quite relate to. We inherently empathize that knowledge is power, wisdom is happiness and truth is freedom so why would we humans not want to pursue an altruism way of thinking?"_

"_Were you a rebellious teen?" Helen asked. "I'm sure you were a precocious child, inquisitive and intelligent far beyond your playmates."_

"_You could say I tended to gravitate to older adults. My mother used to say I was born an old soul and that an old soul is a person whom has learned from past incarnations, or lives. I wish they were here today as I miss them a lot." Nikki said sadly remembering how whimsical her life was before she became pessimistic and withdrawn._

"_I'm sorry," Helen said, putting her hand over Nikki's hand. "I am sure they are watching and are very proud of what you have become."_

_Nikki smiled, enjoying Helen's warm. "Did you know a spiritual person whom is wise beyond their years are considered old souls?"_

"_I believe that you have more understanding of the world around you than most. I quality I admire about you." Helen said, blushing. She stared into Nikki's eyes and wondered how long she was going to keep herself from falling apart. _

"_But you haven't seen the darker side of me," Nikki teased giving Helen a playful wink. "I used to get high listening to Pink Floyd 'Dark Side of the Moon' or any of Led Zeppelin records in my experiential stage."_

"_How shocking," Helen mocked Nikki, giving her __light squeeze. "I used to sneak into clubs underage to smoke and drink, much too my parents chagrin. I got into trouble a lot."_

"_I had an affair with one of my teachers. I was only sixteen and she was thirty." Nikki said, looking intently at Helen who had her gob wide open in shock._

"_You tramp," Helen replied being coy, while digesting what Nikki said. __"I forget you're only twenty-seven because you seem so old school but you do have extreme taste in music." Helen replied, poking Nikki in the arm, trying not to sound jealous._

"_I guess I do have a different way of thinking," Nikki smiled, enjoying Helen's playfulness. She was glad that Helen decided to stay after the tense moments they had earlier. She was still weary and wondered if her confession to attraction for her was going to pose some difficulty in their working relationship. "I suppose I might seem odd. I can go extreme with old metal like Black Sabbath and then all bluesy with Billie Holiday."_

"_So one can say you're a heavy metal softie who is a nerd that enjoys antiques, collecting memorabilia and who loves to watch old black and white movies." Helen said with a toothy grin. She had to admit, but Nikki was fascinating and she loved her passion for things._

"_I suppose something like that," Nikki laughed. "Although, you will not find any country music in my collection. I have to draw the line somewhere." Nikki said, raising her brow._

"_What's wrong with country music," Helen said, her arms crossed. She wanted to toy with Nikki a little longer._

"_Please say you ain't one of those country crooners," Nikki said, blinking her eyes as she wrinkled her nose._

"_We should do country karaoke," Helen joked, keeping hers__elf from giggling out-loud_

"_Oh no…my voice could crack a mirror." Nikki said, arms crossed as she kicked Helen on the leg._

_Helen laughed with amusement. "Then we must get your voice on tape and send it to Fenner as a ringtone."_

"_That man needs to disappear. What Karen ever saw in him is beyond common sense." Nikki said, feeling icky at the sound of his name._

"_It couldn't come any sooner," Helen nodded her head. She let out a yawn, startled at her sudden tiredness._

_Nikki laughed inwardly. "You should take my bed. I can sleep on the couch. I don't mind really."_

"_No Nikki," Helen replied. "I can't have you sleeping on the couch."_

"_No, really. I don't mind. You are my guess and it's the right thing to do. My couch is comfy enough." Nikki said, trying to sound convincing._

"_But I can't allow that," Helen said. "Your bed is huge and really there is enough space for the two of us." She said, feeling a little shy mentioning it._

_Nikki was surprised for a moment. She really wanted to sleep in the same bed with Helen but was it the right thing to do after she exposed her feelings._

"_Are you okay with that? I mean considering," Nikki tailed off remembering._

"_I know things were said, but really Nikki, we're friends and I don't want to make things bigger than they are. Okay, you are attracted to me but let's not make this an awkward situation."_

"_But_ _I grind my teeth," Nikki confessed staring at Helen who was smiling._

"_I have cold feet," Helen replied._

"_I move a lot and tend to hog the bed," Nikki said looking up at Helen._

"_I steal the blanket," Helen said smiling._

"_Well I draw the line there," Nikki laughed. "I like to snuggle up to my pillows so be warned."_

"_Noted," Helen replied a smile warming on her face._

"_Well then follow me my Empress," Nikki said, as they both made their way into Nikki's bedroom. Nikki went over to her wardrobe and brought back a pair of pyjamas. "I have an extra pair of pyjamas but if you prefer a nightie."_

"_No…pyjamas will do." _

"_You could wash up here and I will use the other bathroom to get ready. I have extra toothbrushes that you can use." Helen nodded as she watched Nikki disappear from the room. She made her way to the bathroom and started to undress. She looked into the mirror and noticed how tired her eyes might have seemed to Nikki. As she turned on the shower she thought about Nikki being naked and then she blushed feeling a warm sensation permeate her body. "Breathe…just breathe" Helen said out-loud. "Nikki is harmless and you should not be thinking of her in that way."_

* * *

"_Which side of the bed would you prefer?" Nikki asked, feeling as if she was doing something unethical._

"_It doesn't matter," Helen said timidly not sure how to proceed._

"_Are you tired or would you prefer to tell ghost stories in bed," she smirked._

"_I'll leave the conversation to you," Helen smiled back as she got into the bed feeling reserved. Both Nikki and Helen felt a slight awkwardness and they just stared at each other waiting for the other to say something._

"_Isn't amazing how easily the brain can be manipulated," Nikki said, wondering why she was sounding nerdy. "Enhanced interrogation techniques can easily be applied with the right mindset."_

"_And this all means what?" Helen said, wondering what the hell Nikki was taking about. Maybe she just felt nervous._

"_It's amazing how we've managed to perfect the apple. A genetically modified version that never goes brown. And yet, we still haven't upgraded human beings. The human race has stalled out, Helen. And from what I've seen, most of it is rotten to the core." Nikki said, smiling trying not to sound like she was rambling but she felt nervous with having Helen so close to her._

_Helen laughed at Nikki obvious edginess. "Really, why do humans always seek to delay the inevitable?" She said, a drip of sarcasm in her voice. "Generous to a fault Nikki. It's so elegant the words you use."_

"_Clearly, I differ in my views of humanity. There are rare times when I can't think clearly, when I can't breathe. This must be what panic feels like." Nikki joked, staring into the green eyes that were hypnotic._

"_Perhaps you just need some chocolate or alcohol." Helen remarked._

_"They will not help to produce an adrenalin response if that is your thinking." Nikki replied quickly._

_"True... but they do affect the mind." Helen said, raising a brow._

_Nikki bore a smile. "You saving me. Is this making up for someone you didn't save?"_

_"Are you probing me? I thought you were done with shock therapy." Helen said pouting, pretending to be hurt._

_"Talking about your issues helps distract me from the bigger picture." Nikki said, slightly blushing._

_"Who said I had issues?" Helen questioned. "And why do you need a distraction?"  
_

"_Oh, did you not hear about my chat with Miss Helen Stewart. I hear she's fun... in an unnecessary stapedectomy kind of way. But she does haver certain quality about her that is endearing." Nikki replied with a huge grin on her face, enjoying the moment._

_"You're mocking me aren't you?" Helen jabbed Nikki on the arm, causing her to laugh._

_"You know, Helen, we're all fallible."_

_"Well, not all of us. I suppose it's you that needs therapy. It sounds like you have a lot to work on." Helen said rolling to her side enjoying Nikki's sense of humour. __"I can help you, Nikki. You suffer from delusions of grandeur, caused by your underlying condition."_

_"It's not a condition, it's the future. By the time you figure out what's really happening, I'll have transcended this reality." Nikki replied with a wide grin, as Helen shook her head._

_"Sometimes you say the oddest things."_

_"Vous etes belle quand vous etes en colere." Nikki said, smiling._

_"What did you say?" Helen asked._

_"Je veux vous embrasser ce soir." She continued speaking in French._

_"I have no clue what you just said except that it's in French." Helen said, wondering what Nikki was telling her. Whatever it was Nikki was enjoying teasing her._

_"You're so beautiful when you're pretending to not understand me." Nikki said without hesitation realising that Helen really did not understand._

_"Please Nikki, don't." Helen said, looking away from Nikki, trying not to get lost in her eyes._

_"Was that wrong to say? I don't want to worry about always saying the wrong things." Nikki said, slightly annoyed._

_"You make it sound so simple." Helen replied wondering how things turned so quickly. Would it always be like this?_

_"So I shouldn't tell you that I really want to kiss you at this moment?" Nikki cursed herself for being an idiot. She knew she was trying to get a reaction from Helen even though it was the wrong thing to do._

_Helen sat upright on the bed, annoyed with Nikki. She didn't understand why Nikki couldn't let it pass. Was she to blame? "Why does it always have to come back to this?"_

_"Because I'm attracted to you." Nikki said not flinching._

_This was going to be hard. She felt herself get flustered and her palm get sweaty. Why was her heart racing? Her eyes were getting watery as she didn't want to face Nikki's words. "I can't offer you what you want." Helen said loudly which startled them both._

_Nikki looked down in shame. There it was, the ugly truth. "Forgive me Helen. This was a bad idea. I don't know what I was thinking."_

_"Please don't hate me." Helen said, her voice shaking. "Please don't go."_

_Nikki reached out and tentatively placed a hand on Helen's shoulder. She felt a marginal relaxation in response. Then she carefully put her arm all the way around Helen's shoulders. Slowly Helen leaned into her. Nikki put her other arm around her, always alert for any indication that her attention was not welcome. She gently drew Helen into her embrace, and Helen leaned her head on Nikki's shoulder trying to bury her head, holding back her tears but before she knew it the tears had fallen on her cheek. Helen was not entirely sure what she was doing. All she had meant to do was give Nikki a piece of her mind. Then she felt Nikki's hand on her face wiping gently the tears. At first she didn't pay much attention to it. She just knew that it felt natural. Somewhere in the back of her mind floated the thought, I am crying on Nikki's shoulder. She has her arms around me. Should this be happening? Should I be letting it happen? She ignored it. She was in too much pain to care, too confused to think. All she wanted was to feel, and Nikki was making her feel. More than she could ever imagine._

_They sat there for a while as Nikki continued to hold Helen in her arms. Helen was uncertain how to proceed from here. Helen never held a woman in her arms before, at least that in that way. She found herself awkwardly stroking Nikki's hair. She smiled slightly. She liked the feel of Nikki's hair. Eventually, Helen sobs quieted. She took a few deep breaths and let out a sigh. She didn't move out of Nikki's arms right away. She admitted to herself that she liked the way Nikki's arms felt around her. She felt comfortable and safe. And, well, she felt something else, too. She carefully removed herself, away from Nikki, and hoped that Nikki didn't see the expression in her eyes. No one had affected her like that in a long time, in fact she couldn't remember if ever, and her body was reacting, as she rationalized it to herself. And then she thought, yeah, right Helen Stewart. Admit it you're in love with her so why can't I just tell her that. She knew why, and she knew that she would never have that with Sean. She questioned the reasons she got involved with Sean and why she agreed to marry him. Was Nikki right? Was she an A personality. Did she use manipulative head-games to sabotage her relationships? Was this an unconscious experience that led to her denial? What was she so afraid of? Deep inside her soul she knew the reasons. Her demons, her brother's death and her need to feel accepted twisted her reality. She realised that being with Sean was wrong. She was with him for the wrong reasons. She knew she needed to do something before her life was out of control. She just didn't know if she had the strength to hold on._

_Helen started to rub her eyes. "Thanks, Nikki. You've been a good friend to me." She said regaining her composure. "Maybe I should go."_

_She started to get up, then, turned back to Nikki. Nikki couldn't let her just leave like this. "Uh Helen, I don't…I don't really think you should drive at this hour. Please don't leave on my account." Nikki sounded hopeful._

_Helen thought about it. She really didn't want to be left alone and it was late but she felt very vulnerable. "It's not that Nikki. It's just," She said in a low whisper._

_Nikki knew what to expect or rather what not to expect. She knew not to expect that Helen would want anything other than her company, someone to talk to. That was all. But she couldn't help feel that Helen wanted more. There was an undeniable attractions between the two of them. "Helen, perhaps you would be more comfortable if you sat down," Nikki suggested._

_Yeah right comfortable sitting next to you Helen thought. Her body would give her away in a minute. Nope, can't sit anywhere near you or I might lose myself. Most of the time, she was able to control her feelings around Nikki. But tonight was different. She had made herself vulnerable. She had allowed Nikki to get close and part of her was happy that Nikki confessed her feelings as she enjoyed the feeling it gave her, yet part of her was scared._

_"Helen, why are you feeling so nervous, do I make you nervous? Is it because of what I said earlier?" Nikki asked knowing that Helen was probably struggling inside._

_How was she supposed to answer that question she thought to herself? She was not good at lying. She couldn't lie if she wanted to. Unfortunately, now she wanted to. She couldn't exactly say, 'because I find you very attractive, Nikki,' now, could she? "I'm simply feeling a little restless at the moment." Please be satisfied with that she thought._

_"Restless?" You mean, you're feeling nervous around me she thought. Nikki looked amused._

_"Yes, Nikki. I have had a very stressful few days and this whole investigation is consuming." There, I've changed the subject thought Helen._

_Nikki laughed. "Is that you're way of changing the subject. I don't want you to feel awkward because of what I said."_

_"Nikki, I'm having a hard time expressing myself and you unloaded something big on me and I don't know what you expect but can you give me space." Helen said, sounding harsh, as she realised by the hurt look in Nikki's eyes._

_"Dammit, Helen, don't shut me out?" Nikki shouted. Oh shit. Did I really just yell at Helen? The look on Helen face said she had. Hurt and confusion were Helen's reaction._

_It wasn't like Helen could hide her feelings well. But if that was the case what exactly was she feeling, then? Hurt, yes. That was to be expected, since Nikki had just yelled at her for no reason. But was there something else under the surface. _

_"Helen." There was Nikki's voice again. "Helen!"_

_"Yes, Nikki? What is it?" Her voice was almost a whisper._

_"I was just saying that perhaps it would be best if I slept on the couch and you take the bed, and allowed you to get some rest."_

_I don't want her to leave. Not like this Helen cried to herself. She didn't want Nikki to leave but at the same time knew that she having Nikki so close was dangerous. "It's okay Nikki, really, I'm okay. You don't have to leave on my account." She sat on the edge of the bed, facing Nikki._

_"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Helen. I don't know what came over me. I don't even know why you care so much." Nikki looked into Helen's eyes. What she really wanted was to take Helen into her arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she knew better._

_Oh, shite. There was another unanswerable question. "Why do I care? I care because you are my friend, Nikki." Why do I get the feeling she isn't going to be satisfied with that answer Helen thought? "I want to thank you for being here for me. I value your friendship. It's important to me."_

_Nikki felt a little miffed, **'friendship'** she knew that Helen wasn't going to just come out and express her feelings. Nikki knew that Helen would retreat into her safe little world. But one thing she knew, that there was no way that the two of them could just be friends. Still, she had to make an effort, for any good that was worth. __Nikki put her hand on Helen's knee. "Am I '**just' **your friend, Helen? Is that all I am to you?" She asked, unable to keep the plaintive note out of her voice. She realised that Helen's eyes were watery again. Nikki reached out and caressed Helen's face with her fingers._

_"No, Nikki. You are more than just my friend, so much more." They sat there in silence for a long time staring into each other's eyes._

_"Helen?" Nikki said hesitantly._

_"Yes, Nikki?"_

_"Would you mind if….if…..I held you in my arms again?" Nikki said shyly._

_"No…Nikki….I wouldn't mind at all." And with that both women embraced each other and held onto whatever thread was keeping them together. Nikki knew that this moment would not last forever. Reality waited for her and she didn't like it one bit._

* * *

_Nikki opened her eyes and looked at the clock. It was still early - 3:30 a.m. She'd forgotten where she was but feeling Helen's warmth wrapped against her brought her to reality quickly. She tried to stretch her arms but only to find Helen cuddling closer to her. She did not want to wake her up so she careful tried to eradicate herself but found it was difficult task. For a fraction of a second Helen moved, without missing a beat, she moved closer to Nikki burying her head into her arms as if she was seeking shelter. It was just the encouragement that Nikki needed. They had fallen asleep holding each other. Nikki enjoyed the feeling of Helen being in her arms but she knew that the feeling wouldn't last when reality came back. Nikki lay there for a while wondering if she should remove herself from Helen, not knowing how Helen would react to the closeness of their bodies. She didn't want things to become awkward between them two. She looked at Helen who looked like a beautiful creature sleeping peacefully. With her free hand she caressed Helen's hair. She knew that she needed to be Helen's friend. But how could she? She was attracted to Helen and she made it oblivious to her. Would she just pretend? She wasn't in denial about the difficult situation. She knew that Helen felt something for her. What she didn't know was the extent f her feelings. Nikki sighed knowing that things were going to get complicated._

_Helen was having an erotic dream and she wore a smile on her face. She was dreaming about Nikki and the sexual encounter was making her moan lightly. Nikki wondered what Helen was dreaming about but whatever it was it was clearly having an effect on her. Nikki felt strange, like a voyeurism watching something sacred. Should she wake Helen up? She didn't want to seem like she was spying. Nikki decided that she would try again to remove herself from Helen but to no avail since Helen had embedded herself in Nikki arms. Nothing I can do Nikki thought so she decided to just close her eyes and fall back to sleep._

_A little while later Helen began to slowly awaken. She felt a warm body next to her and when she went to open her eyes she saw Nikki sleeping. We've must've fallen asleep she told herself. Helen watched Nikki looking at her strong features. She was so beautiful that Helen didn't want to wake her. She looked peaceful and calm. She didn't want to move away, being in Nikki arms felt heavenly. Noticing how the two bodies were entwined Helen tried to move. But Helen, being the reasonable one, decided that it was best to wake Nikki. What would Nikki think? She knew that Nikki was attracted to her, she proved it last night but what Nikki didn't know was the growing feelings that she was developing for Nikki. This was going to get very complicated she thought to herself. After a few minutes, Helen did not have the heart to wake Nikki so she allowed herself to fall back asleep. She would deal with her feelings later._

* * *

_During the night Nikki was turning in her bed, sweat was rolling down her face. In her dream she saw herself laying on the floor, a rather dark light peering through a window and she felt as if her heart was constricted. Flashes of images exploded like a backsplash across the white walls. The image that hunted her was of a little girl enveloped in an afterglow, with eyes transparent, yet that of a crystal beam, as she stood there in the centre of what appeared to be a circle. The little girl stretched her arms, tiny fingers reaching out to Nikki and it touched her heart that she wanted to reach across, but she was held back by a stronger force not that of her own. Then Nikki felt something dark and menacing coming from within the room, as if was alive and knowing. She wanted to scream but her voice was thin and something strange was holding her tightly to the cold surface. Nikki looked up and into the girl's darkening eyes and saw fear in them. It seemed as though she was pleading for help, yet at that moment, something oddly familiar about the little girl stir inside Nikki's heart. Once again Nikki lifted her head toward the window, but to her amazement there stood a dark figure, hovering over the little girl with baited breath._

_"I am the undertaker. I've come to take away your soul and damn it to the darkness of despair!" Nikki heard the triumphant voice echoing the room._

_"No…you cannot. Her destiny has been decided." Desperation in the voice of the little girl that cried out._

_"Silence," the voice said, his anger rising. "She's mine to take."_

_Nikki blinked her eyes several time suddenly realising she was in a maze. She turned her head around and saw the same little girl from her dream, enveloped in a dark light, looking frighteningly at her._

_Nikki heard another voice in the distance. It was different, barely audible but it sounded familiar. "Don't be afraid Nikki, don't be afraid to open your heart. Don't let memories haunt you." The kind voice said._

_"I don't understand." Nikki replied, rubbing her eyes and feeling an overwhelming pain in her heart._

_"You hold the key," the voice said. "You hold the key to the mystery. Don't be afraid to open those doors. Search within. The answers are waiting. Open your mind and you shall see." Her voice calm and reassuring. Nikki could not place the voice but for a moment she imagined the voice sounded like Trisha. Yet, who was the little girl?_

_"What am I supposed to do? Please, it's hurting." Again Nikki felt a sharp pain in her heart. She grasped the air as if she was trying to reach out and touch something._

_"I will always be by your side," the voice said. "Nothing can hurt you." Then Nikki saw a flash and she closed her eyes once again. The other voice disappeared._

_Then Nikki heard the little girl speak in a hush whisper. "Our very existence is already a torture for all to see," she said, her eyes showing strain. "Living in constant fear of someday destroying something or somebody we hold deep within our heart." Nikki did not understand what the little girl was trying to say to her. Her words full of innuendoes. Why did she use the term 'we' and why did she look so sad? The little girl weakly smiled before fading into the dark, not before she spoke those words that would haunt Nikki. "Nikki, look deep within your soul and you will know who I am. We are linked together as one. You must search for me. Everything is not as it seems. Remember," As her figure started disappearing for good, "look to your past…all you seek lies within you. You must protect her…"_

* * *

_"Nikki, Nikki." Helen said as she nudged her gently._

_Nikki opened her eyes and stared into the warm green eyes looking back at her. She noticed Helen looking at her with concern. She was still daze from her dream and her body was shaking._

_"Are you okay Nikki." Helen said, still looking over Nikki and holding her hand. "You're shaking."_

_"Sorry, I must've had a nightmare," Nikki said, trying to get up. "I'm okay." Nikki tried to smile. "Sorry, did I wake you?"_

_"No…I was having a hard time sleeping." Helen lied. She could see the frightened expression in Nikki's eyes and felt a need to hold her tight. "Would you like me to get you some water?"_

_"That's okay, I can get it myself." Nikki said getting up from the bed. Helen felt a little hurt. She wanted to take care of Nikki. A short while later Nikki stumbled back into the room, holding onto a glass and rambling on about something._

_"Is something bothering you Nikki? Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Helen asked, her eyes showing tired as it was still early in the morning._

_"Sorry, but I don't think I want to at this moment." Nikki stated._

_"Are you sure? It helps if you express your fears?" Helen said, trying to engage Nikki who seemed a little distant._

_"I could say the same," Nikki replied, cursing herself the moment those words left her mouth._

_"I was just being concerned," Helen said, her expression showing hurt. "Is that so wrong?"_

_"Why are you so bloody concern about me all of a sudden?" Nikki said, feeling tired. Her dreams were still affecting her and having Helen so close was more than she could handle. Maybe it wasn't a good idea sleeping in the same bed she thought to herself._

_"I'm just being a good friend to you Nikki. I care about what happens to you." Helen said harshly, not happy that Nikki choose to shut her out. Why was she bothered by Nikki's cold demeanor? What she really wanted was to hold Nikki and make her feel safe. In truth, so wanted more than just to hold Nikki. She wanted to touch Nikki. Her body wanted the closeness, the sexual desire she got from Nikki's simple touch. But she wasn't suppose to feel that way._

_"Is that all you feel." Nikki didn't care anymore. She had to know if Helen was playing games with her._

_"What kind of question is that?" Helen said looking into the deep brown eyes full of desire that were staring deeply into hers._

_"You mean you don't know?" Nikki cried, shaking her head. Was Helen messing with her psyche?_

_"Are you still banging about your attraction towards me?" Helen said feeling stupid. _

_"I'm in love with you you daft cow," Nikki sighed heavily. "Not just attracted do you understand? I love you."_

_"You love me?" Helen said in a surprise voice. She didn't realise that Nikki was in love with her. She suspected but hearing the words confirmed everything. She felt a sudden rush of heat permeate her body as if her soul was on fire._

_"Bingo, give a round applause to Helen Stewart." Helen didn't appreciate Nikki's tone of voice as it made her feel foolish. "Yes, Helen, I'm in love with you, and that is why I kissed you again, and I know what I did is wrong, but…once again I've managed to shock you." Nikki replied. Nikki was beginning to feel that she did the wrong thing by kissing Helen. Nikki took a breather and sighed. Helen noticed that Nikki's voice was calmer. "I'm sorry Helen, you are my friend...I don't want anything to change between us." Nikki had to look away. "It's just I really can't help how I feel about you. I won't do something reckless like that again if that's what you're worry about. It's plain and clear that it's unwanted and I don't want to hurt you. I'm being selfish and only thinking of myself."_

_Helen sighed. "Nikki," she said, the anger gone from her voice, "That's okay. I won't hold that against you." Was all that she could say. She felt bad knowing she was the reason that Nikki was in turmoil. She flirted with Nikki and enjoyed all the sensations that came with it but she was just a coward when it came to expressing her feelings. She just continued looking at Nikki as they both stood there wondering what to do next._

_All of a sudden Helen put her hands on Nikki's shoulders, leaned forward, and tentatively kissed her. At the feel of Nikki's mouth responding to her, she increased the urgency of the kiss. The two women stayed like that for a few seconds then proceeded to move, and, still kissing, Nikki reached for Helen's waist and pulled her closer. Helen had to stop herself now. She was feeling so much right now that it was making her want to burst. Her foundation was crumbling and she didn't know how to hold herself together. She knew that she wanted to kiss Nikki but Sean, her parents, normality of life was coming down quickly that she felt herself being drowned in the tidal waves. Then Helen pushed Nikki away and started to softly cry._

_Nikki looked confused. One minute she was kissing Helen and then next minute she felt like she was being slapped in the face. Then thoughts of Helen feeling guilty and ashamed for kissing her started to surface her mind. She wanted to run but she couldn't ignore Helen. Helen was her friend, and she was in pain. She couldn't just stand there and do nothing. But what could she do? She felt like she was to blame!_

_"I care about you Nikki, nothing will change that," Helen said, her voice full of warmth and concern._

"_Don't you feel there's something between us then?" Nikki asked, looking over at Helen who was trying to not show her emotions._

_Helen froze in fear. Of course she did but she couldn't tell Nikki. "Why is that so important to you?_

_"Don't try that shite on me," Nikki demanded. She knew Helen was holding back._

_Helen knew she had to get out of this situation before her heart confessed her deepest desires. "I think you know the answer to that question."_

_Nikki walked towards Helen, so close she felt she could feel Helen's heartbeat. Helen turned her head away. "Why won't you look at me? What are you so afraid of?"_

_"Nikki, please, don't." Helen said, her breathing heavier and her body hot with desire. Whatever Nikki was doing was making her feel like she wanted to explode. _

_"But why Helen? What am I doing to you?" Nikki pressed on. She could see the desire in Helen's eyes and no matter how hard she wanted to stop she just couldn't. Maybe she wanted one night of passion with Helen. Just one night before reality sunk in._

_"Don't make this difficult," Helen pleaded. The closer Nikki got towards her the wetter she felt inside._

_"Tell me you don't feel this right now. Tell me you don't feel a passion burning inside your soul." Nikki was feeling brave and didn't care about the consequences. "The thing is I want to kiss you, make love to you all night long and I know that what you are feeling at this very moment is the same. I can see it in your eyes."_

_"You're wrong Nikki, I don't," But before Helen could say anything Nikki grabbed her hand and put it over her heart. _

_Nikki's heart was beating so fast as if it was going to burst. "Do you think about me sexually? You kissed me back."_

_Helen's head was spinning, she felt herself lose control. Looking at Nikki she was reminded about her dreams. It was always the same dream. About them making love, sweet passionate love._

_Nikki was mere inches away from Helen, and she could feel her warm breath on her. "Tell me the truth Helen?" Nikki said so sweet and softly. "Do you feel me?"_

_And then a single word came out as if it had a will on its own. "Yes," was all Helen could say. She closed her eyes and stood there feeling Nikki's breath on her face._

_But then Nikki suddenly felt awful. She crossed the line. She promised herself she wouldn't do this and yet she ignored the warning bells. The she thought about_ _Trisha. What a sod she was. Again she allowed herself to get under Helen's skin and the worst part, she pressured Helen into confessing her desires. What a lout she thought to herself. She backed away from Helen. "I'm so sorry, Helen. I shouldn't have said those things to you. You're engaged and I took advantage of a weak moment. Please forgive me. I think we were just both feeling very lonely at the moment and allowed our heads to get clouded."_

_Helen was too emotional to respond. She wanted to hide herself away. It was her fault that Nikki was backtracking and regretting her actions._

_"Helen," she said softly. No response. "Helen?" The sobbing continued. "Look at me?"_

_Helen removed her hands from her face, "I shouldn't have done that Nikki." Helen's eyes were red and her tears smeared on her face._

_"Shhh….don't cry love. Look we're friends and what happened, happened. It doesn't have to mean anything. It was probably a mistake. You were just in a moment." Nikki was trying to reassure Helen but she was betraying her words. But she did want it to happen and now she found herself backtracking._

_Helen froze. "What ... what did you just say, Nikki?"_

_"I said we probably should go back to sleep and things will be okay in the morning."_

_"That's not what you said." Helen stated. She did not sound angry or upset, but rather perplexed at the situation. It wasn't Nikki's fault. She was giving her mix messages. The rationale in her was telling it was wrong since she had Sean, but her heart, and body was responding to Nikki. She knew she could not help herself, but at the moment she needed Nikki._

_"Yes, Helen, I know but I don't like to see you cry." Nikki replied._

_"You're not making me cry," Helen said, her eyes never leaving Nikki. "I'm just feeling so much right now and I'm afraid that I will lose control."_

_"What are you saying," Nikki's heart began to race. Was this a dream?_

_"This is so hard," Helen said, swallowing hard. "You're are an incredible woman. You make me feel things I never thought I could feel. When I'm with you I feel safe and at the same time lost. You've been completely honest with me about how you feel and I admire that quality in you." Helen said, feeling her heart beat like a drum. "I have a hard time expressing and I think you know that…what I am trying to say is that…I mean you know I'm attracted to you, but," Helen said continuing looking into the big brown eyes that were staring at her intently. "I think…I think I'm in love with you too Nikki."_

_A fire began to burn in Nikki's eyes as she felt the urgency to press against Helen. It would have been so easy to give in completely to her dark thoughts. It had been so long since Nikki felt this kind of power with another woman. A lust that she had desperately tried to suppress, yet Nikki fought it with an intensity she did not think she had. Nikki stilled her rhythmic movements against Helen and brought her hands up to Helen's head, tilting her face down to meet Helen's intense gaze. Nikki watched as Helen audibly gulped, a slight look of panic forming in her eyes. In a low voice that burred its way into the Helen's head Nikki insisted, "I want the truth. And please do not lie to me. Do you want me to stop?"_

_Helen soon met Nikki's upward thrusts as she tried desperately to quell the growing ache in her belly. It was a raw burning desire that up until now she had never encountered. Her need to feel Nikki touch her everywhere was overwhelming her senses, and she drew Nikki closer again and again, trying to bury the fire deep inside her. "No Nikki, please don't stop." Was all she could say._

_Helen felt powerless, betrayed by her own cravings. The battle lust had weakened her resolve, if only a little, and she had been exposed to a small taste of pleasure that she had hoped to always keep buried. She knew she should have left Nikki's loft and fled the opposition direction into her safe cocoon. But she quickly talked herself into staying for her own selfish need to be near Nikki. But before she realised what she was doing, she found herself sharing the same bed with Nikki. It was supposed to be a simple sleep over as her conscience promised her. And she believed it foolishly._

_"You are so beautiful, Helen," Nikki whispered fiercely, her warm breath against the side of Helen's face. "Being alone in my room is a mistake," Nikki continued softly, as she gently touched the soft curvatures of Helen's face. "I've wanted you for so long, I knew that restraint with you here would be next to impossible." Nikki searched Helen's face with her intense gaze, her eyes focussing on Helen's mouth. "Your lips are so soft, you smell wonderful."_

_Helen had to hold her breath, her body ached. Her brain told her to stop but her body went along with Nikki. She had no control and it sure wasn't the alcohol feeding her sexual hunger. "Nikki," She said, in a whisper._

_"Don't speak Helen, just feel with your body." Nikki demanded, then fear crossed Nikki's eyes. What was she doing? She would regret this in the morning. Helen would hate her. Was she taking advantage over Helen's state of mind? The feeling was too overwhelming for sensibility. "Are you afraid?" Nikki asked._

_Helen couldn't speak. She was too scared to move. Her body was alive and all she wanted was for Nikki to touch her. She was also keenly aware that if they went further, things would be different. But she didn't care. She wasn't thinking clearly._

_"Do you want me?" Nikki asked, breathing heavy._

_"Yes," Helen said without hesitation. She was lost in a world of her own._

_"What do you want Helen?" Nikki asked, her breathing heavy. _

_Helen bit her lower lip, and searched for the right words, but found none. She was too overwhelmed by the words that her heart felt constricted. She let out a heavy sigh and with her hands still entwined with Nikki she squeezed it tightly as she moved closer. Helen put her fingers on Nikki's lips, "sshh, don't say a word." Helen leaned over and kissed Nikki softy on the lips. It felt like lightning bolts rupturing their bodies and the passion that immersed them fuelled the desire to deepen the kiss. _

_Nikki kissed Helen hungrily, as if her mouth was an appendage with a will of its own. Helen stopped Nikki and looked into the deep brown eyes that were filled with desire. Could she continue...or did she need to stop now before she regretted her decision...her mind was so confused. She knew she needed to stop before she lost all control of her body, but her brain could not tell her mouth to say the words 'stop'. The yearning for Nikki to touch her was overwhelming. She felt so sexually charged that her mind was racing a million time faster. Her mind kept telling her that it was wrong, so wrong because she was with Sean, but her body screamed for a sexual release that she had never felt in her life. A hunger growing within her that she knew only Nikki could release. All she could think about was how good it felt having Nikki's pressed body against her, moving with a delicate rhythmic movement that burned her skin. Nikki lifted Helen with her strong arms and moved her towards the bed. She slowly unzipped Helen's jeans all the while kissing her like a skillful lover as she lowered her hand, carefully running her fingers on Helen's leg until she found what she longed for._

_"You're so wet," Nikki smiled, as she licked her lips, desire shimmering in her eyes._

_Helen gasped. "Oh God, this feels so good," Nikki felt so wonderful, heavenly but then the moment was marred when a flash of guilt crossed her eyes._


	19. Chapter 19

_(Okay, so the last couple of chapter were mostly Nikki and Helen focus but this chapter I revealed more about the killer as you shall come to read. I wanted to show a little more about how he thinks but I shall not reveal any more. You will have to keep reading. Also, a little shocking reveal this chapter. Maybe not as shocking if you are sharp to my story. So enjoy and again, it's always nice to know what my readers think. Stay tuned for more shocking storylines.)_

_**Chapter 19**_

_Nikki unbuttoned her shirt, shrugging with the buttons, she get was getting impatient. Her body practically rippled with power. Nikki climbed back on top and kissed Helen again, this time like a hungry warrior. Helen relaxed against the force of Nikki's mouth, denying Nikki nothing and encouraging her abandon. Gliding her fingers over Helen skin Nikki moved down to kiss Helen's neck, licking as she made her way down, then finally resting on Helen's breasts. Everything about Nikki was powerful, commanding. Nikki moved against Helen with such skill that Helen hardly had time to think. Helen didn't know exactly what Nikki did, but she'd never experienced anything like it in her life. Once again she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt awash over her. One moment she was in a euphoric state, then suddenly as if her brain took command, she felt like what she was doing was wrong and sinful. This went against everything she believed to be honest and she was supposed to be in a monogamist relationship with Sean. She felt sick inside all the while feeling such intense pleasure. _

_"Please, Nikki, this must stop," Helen finally said, trying to break free from Nikki which was not an easy thing to do since her body betrayed her words._

_Nikki ignored Helen and continued kissing her neck as she slowly pressed her body against Helen in a rhythmic movement. _

_"Nikki, we need to stop, please," Helen pleaded. She could barely contain her own sexual desires and she knew she needed all her strength to stop them from going any further._

_Nikki stopped what she was doing not quite certain if she had heard correctly. Was Helen out of her mind? "What," her breathing was laboured._

_"I'm so sorry Nikki," Helen looked into Nikki's eyes still filled with desire and confusion. "I can't. This is not right."_

_"Every moment leading up would have been wrong, so why stop now?" Nikki cursed angrily as she leaned up and sat upright feeling her emotions drain. She put her hands over her face, afraid to show Helen how upset she was._

_Helen tried to put her hand on Nikki's shoulder but Nikki turned away. "Please, Nikki…we can't. There's Sean and I don't want to have this guilt over me knowing what we are doing is wrong. I don't want to be one of those cheating louts I talk about."_

_"You're feeling guilty now. Sod you Helen," Nikki cried out, unable to control the wave of emotions crashing through her. "Maybe you should have realised that before you led me on." _

_"Nikki?" she said groggily, blinking a couple of times. "God…I am so messed up. You make me feel too much…I can't breathe."_

_"Don't," Nikki exclaimed, watching Helen's cheeks turn bright red as tears fell down Helen face. "I don't think I can take any more of your lame excuses._

_"Let me explain Nikki," Helen said almost in desperation._

_"What?" Nikki demanded indignant, "Everything was a mistake. Is that what you're going to say? You wanted to feel something so you allowed yourself to engulf in my emotions?" Nikki was on the verge of tears and ready to bolt from the room. Helen tightened her arms around Nikki, almost tight enough to hurt._

_"You know that's not true," Helen pleaded but how could she appease the woman she loved knowing she was ripping her heart._

_"No, then why do you have that look in your eyes?" Nikki replied, still reeling._

_"What look?" Helen demanded._

_"The 'what have I done look' Helen." Nikki said, with a callus intent._

_"Is that what you think?" Helen said defensively. She was now furious with Nikki. How could Nikki think that of her? She told her that she was in love with her so why would Nikki say such cruel words_

_"Don't give me that innocent look Helen 'cos I've seen it before. You have the guilt look in your eyes, like you're regretting what you did." Nikki said, not realising why she was being cold. In retrospect, Nikki didn't want to hear Helen tell her the reasons why they couldn't be together even though they wanted each other. It was too much to bare._

_"Sod you, Nikki, think what you want." Helen got up quickly from the bed, unsure of what to do. "I told you that I was in love with you so why are you being so cruel?"_

_"Cruel? Is that what you think I am?" Nikki demanded. "That's just brilliant. I can see in your eyes your desire for me. I know you want me to make love to you but go ahead and run back to Sean. I know what we are doing is probably wrong since you are with him, but what I feel for you is so much stronger than reason and I know you feel it too."_

_"That is why we needed to stop," Helen tried to explain but Nikki was having none of it._

_"That is a poor excuse to use on me." Nikki spat. "I'm so frustrated with myself and yet all I want to do is hold you, caress you but everything is shite."_

_"Please understand," Helen said, feeling guilty and annoyed with herself. _

_"I understand that you are a coward?" Nikki replied coldly. She knew she was being harsh but she was reeling with anger and disappointment. "I think I should leave you alone."_

_Helen looked at Nikki who was avoiding her eyes. "Please, can't we talk about this Nikki? We have to work together."_

_Nikki got up and walked towards Helen with a stone face. "Don't worry, we're friends," Nikki said empathizing the word 'friends'. "Words were said, emotions were revealed. It doesn't mean anything in the end."_

_"Why are you acting like this meant nothing?" Helen said, her voice strained._

_"Yeah, trying to deflect the blame unto me. Hide into your safe cocoon. It's what you do best." Nikki spat._

_Helen turned to Nikki, her face red with anger. She didn't say a word. Right now she was annoyed with Nikki and didn't want to get into a verbal match with her. She couldn't believe how different Nikki seemed but she knew that she was to blame. Yet it didn't hurt any less._

_"What, you're going to ignore me now?" Nikki said. She couldn't hold back. Nikki knew that she should leave it alone, but she couldn't. The thought of Helen regretting what happened between them incensed her anger. _

_"Obviously, you're not thinking clearly." Helen said as she tried to leave. "I will not defend myself to you at this moment. I think I should go before things get heated."_

_"Fine," Nikki said, walking to the door. "Well, I'm sure you won't have trouble finding the door then."_

_Helen's face dropped with disgust. "You're being stubborn. I can't be happier than to leave this place." Helen felt a stab in her chest. She didn't mean those words. It just came out of anger._

_Nikki felt numb. She could see herself argue with Helen, she knew that what she was saying was way out of character, but she had no control. Something else was controlling her words. A force beyond her. Was she possessed? Nikki looked coldly at Helen. "I knew you didn't have the strength to give us a go. I was just a mistake to you."_

_Helen didn't say anything, choosing to remain silent, which nagged Nikki further. She grabbed her belongings and headed for the door without looking at Nikki. And then she was gone as Nikki stood there feeling regret and hurt. This was shite!_

_Once Helen was outside Nikki's front door she leaned against it for support. Tears were streaming down her face and she still felt that sexual energy permeating her body. She thought about how Nikki touched her and how it made her feel. Why did she have to act so immature? Why did she stop when her body was on fire and her heart filled with emotions never felt before? She knew it was her guilt. She glanced at her watch and sighed. It was a little past 5:30am and she didn't want to go home. So she decided to do the one thing she knew was completely wrong and knew she would regret later but she needed to escape her reality even if it meant betraying her emotions._

* * *

_A little while later she found herself fumbling for her keys. She opened the door and silently make her way in. It was still dark and she didn't want to turn the lights on. She made her way upstairs, the sexual longing for Nikki was still lingering strong. She opened the door and slowly started to remove her clothes and she climbed the bed and positioned herself on top, adjusting her body. Then she started rubbing herself on the sleeping body that eventually awoken with a smile. _

_"Helen," Sean said, surprised to find Helen starting down at him. Whatever got into her he didn't care as he allowed him to feel the pleasure he missed from her._

_"Shh…don't speak." Helen replied as she did not want to hear his voice. She closed her eyes as she continued thrusting herself on him. As the pleasure intensified, the only face she could see was Nikki. She imaged Nikki touching her, pleasuring her and if felt wonderful. She could still smell Nikki's desire for her. She longed for Nikki's touch, and she forgot where she was. It was Nikki's face, Nikki's body that she was feeling and she pushed herself on until she felt herself close to climax. She felt so emotional and reached out to touch Nikki's face as her whole body ached. Just before she climaxed she whisper Nikki's name forgetting her surroundings. It was then she heard someone calling out her name. It wasn't Nikki's voice and she felt a darkness cross over as if she was awakening from a dream. She blinked her eyes several times, adjusting to the harsh reality. It happened so fast she could not remember the how she got there. How she ended up on Sean's bed. She closed her eyes again forgetting what she did as she didn't realised she had called out Nikki's name._

_"Helen," Sean called out to her as he pull her closer, almost roughly towards him. _

_Helen slowly opened her eyes again, and looked down and saw Sean staring intently at her. She looked around and finally realised where she was and she felt sick to her stomach. She remembered why she went there and knew the reasons were wrong. She rolled off of him and onto her side. A tear rolling down her cheek. She felt like she had an out of body experience with Nikki but reality was cruel._

_Sean laid there frozen. He was disgusted and anger rose inside him like never before. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Did Helen really just called out Nikki's name in climax? He wanted to be believe him was imagining it but deep inside he knew the woman he loved betrayed him and it was roting his core. He wasn't sure what to do but he knew he had to do something fast. He would find a way to make Nikki pay. Then he wondered if Helen was having an affair with Nikki behind his back. The sodding dyke he thought. He needed to get rid of her somehow._

_"I'm tired," she replied turning her back against him. She closed her eyes once more trying to block everything that happened. She was in pain and her heart felt as if someone stuck a knife in it. She knew having sex with Sean, her fiancée should be a natural act, but nothing felt natural and she knew she needed space from everything to clear her head but that was not possible. She would have to face Nikki, reality, and whatever consequences that were sure to follow. If only her heart didn't ache to the dark haired woman._

* * *

_He had been hunting the girl for almost a week. He felt like an imperturbable wolf following an unsuspecting prey. The stimulation was a source that he needed to carry out his impeccable design he felt was necessary to prove he was worthy. There was no room for oversights. He had gotten close enough to touch her, but he hadn't. His culpabilities, he knew how to mask well, still, at times his life felt like an anaemic barely holding on. He knew he had to be especially meticulous with this girl. The voices in his head made aware the consequences if he faltered but the growing hunger inside him needed a release. There was nothing imaginable more beautiful, pure and innocent than the hunt to kill. Why he felt that rush was a like a cryptic passage but he knew he was chosen for a higher purpose. And that innocent look in her eyes would disappear and replaced with fear. He would not allow himself to think he was singular, but a messenger. There was much work to do. To society she was just an average girl, but to him, she was participating in sins, against the will of God. He wished he had taken time for a fag as the adrenalin was pouring through his veins. He thought about how most offenders did their research. Like most serious crimes, it was a rare situation that a chance just presented itself and was exploited on the spur of the moment. It took seer talent and planning to be effective at most things in life, including being a predator. A smiled appeared on his face as the ecstasy of what he was about to do overwhelmed him. But it was at that precise moment a memory crossed his mind. A flashback._

* * *

**_(Flashback)_**

_He was inspecting it that morning, surveying the odd looking doll with uninterested eyes. Since leaving his house, he spent most of his time writing his reports, sitting at his desk ignoring most of his surroundings, staring at the computer screen as if he was mesmerized by rays. He had almost drifted off when his personal mobile rang as he looked to see if he knew the number on his screen but did not. Its incessant ringing quickly drowned his macabre thoughts, as he picked up his phone to answer it._

"_Better be important," his voice was annoyed._

_The voice on the other end was a familiar one, which always unnerved him more than hearing a stranger's voice. Still he could not place it right away then finally he remembered and a frown appeared on his face. __ "__Did my wife give you this number?" He asked, feeling like his personal space had been invaded as he continued listening to the voice on the other line. "Fine, you have one day, and then I want you gone. I have no time for family matters." He grudgingly accepted his invitation as he never warmed to his Uncle Finley, for reasons he would rather not recall nor truly understand the true implications it had on his life. His Uncle had always been a singular figure passing through his childhood memories, with no real sentiment or emotions to bind him to a figure he had detested. He hadn't seen his Uncle for many years, a state he remained entirely ambivalent about. Much as he opposed the idea of seeing him once again, he didn't want to seem unreceptive since his wife had invited him, so he agreed to meet him alone. Pretending to be happy about the idea he said his goodbye, as he put the phone down grimacing. He did not need this intrusion in his life._

_The odd looking doll, slumped as usual against the wall, stared at him as if it had peering eyes. He knew he was not insane and that the doll was just an inanimate object, but there was something human-like about it that appealed to him. He didn't fully comprehend except that the doll made him feel nostalgic. In reality, the doll represented a more sinister truth about his past. An event that shaped his existence. But this was one memory he so desperately tried to suppress and eventually distorted the truth to fit his own reality._

* * *

_His Uncle Finely finally arrived, and it was evident he had succumbed to the pathetic pitfall of old age as he looked fatigued and frail. His face embodied his face like death would look before crossing over, dark eyes sunk back into their sockets. His hair, once thick and dark brown, had gone grey losing its natural pigment. His hair seemed to absorb an opaque colour, a translucent white that reflected light to some extent as the light bounded off his head. He knew if the strands were wet, then they would probably be less penetrable by the light and appear darker. It would not make him look any younger he thought to himself as the deep lines on his Uncle face expressed a man who had not aged well. Perhaps it was the alcohol or the years of guilt that dragged his form to a hell-like state._

"_Drone__…" his greeting was stony, distant. "Nice of you to have me in my forsaken state."_

"_Don't call me Drone__…" he was not amused, as he hated that nickname that his Uncle had given him. It only brought up unpleasant memories from the past. "Please, sit down."_

_His Uncle scanned the room and decided to sit down on the armchair that seemed to have dust as if no one has occupied the chair for ages. He sat across the fireplacesthat roared with flames as if something had been burning, a smell he knew was familiar.__ As he glanced up the fireplace, there hung a black and white photo of a roll of large trees that were engulfed in fog. The picture itself seemed eerie and had a frightening quality to it. At the corner was another chair, a wooden rocking chair, as if it belonged to a child. __There sat a doll that was almost hidden from view, tucked away in the corner of his eye. He saw his Uncle turn, glance at it intently, and immediately withdraw his gaze as if eyes were burning his soul. _

_He finally sat himself, quickly adopting the template of an embittered married couple. He reached over to hand his Uncle a pipe, carrying out menial conversation that required no deep thought or meaning. At times he closed his eyes, just to avoid listening to his Uncle's ranting. As he sat there, listening to him recount days of the past, there was an unspoken awkwardness between them, one neither of them would rightfully admit. Or neither of them wanted to rehash. Not at first. But as all things, evil lurks in the shadows he thought to himself._

"_Where did you get that creepy looking doll?" His Uncle sneered. He knew exactly what it was. He glanced casually upwards from smoking his pipe. His hand gripped the pipe as if he was holding on for dear life. He knew there was no turning back. He realised before he entered the house, he would never leave. He told himself this was the right thing to do as it was time to cleanse his soul._

"_Don't you remember?" He said, venom dripping from his tongue. He looked at him attentively, trying to see past those dark eyes. He hated not being in control._

"_Yes, I do remember," he said quietly, anger stirring in his face. "But I thought I was seeing a ghost from the past." The old man replied, remembering the ugly truth._

_He sighed through gritted teeth. "What are you getting at old fool? I know perfectly well what secrets you hold dear to your heart."_

"_That doll __is morbid, and impure. Pure evil is what it is. Why on earth would you have something like for all to see?" His Uncle demanded._

"_Does __it remind you of someone?" He replied meekly. "Does it bother you? Well, you have no reason to demand things from me."_

"_It's just very strange, Drone that someone like you, a grown man, would keep such a strange looking doll when you don't have any children. Very disturbing." As his eyelids felt heavy as if he felt a force strangling his thoughts. He suddenly caught sight of the doll, its face turned enquiringly at him. As he stared at it, half aware, the memories that floated back in his mind disturbed his thoughts. He sighed heavily and tried to forget._

"_Don't call me that. __What do you know about disturbing? Don't sit there pretending to be righteous." He scoffed. "You're no man of cloth." __His Uncle Finley had shrugged his shoulders, continuing smoking his pipe unfazed. But the words returned to him, each one chiming with a chilling new significance. He bolted upright, his eyes drifted from the doll to his Uncle, and back. Suddenly realising he was almost completely full of resentment, he leapt to his feet and walked towards the fireplace._

_Uncle Finely stirred in his chair, that uncomfortable feeling in his veins, a bitterness he harboured, an animosity he felt in his bones as if he was looking at a complete stranger. "Is there something you dying to ask me?"_

"_Nothing…nothing…" he replied losing his nerve, and growing impatient with himself. He could hunt his prey and show them true terror but he was reduced to a child in front of his Uncle. He hated that feeling._

_"Poor Drone, still peeing in his knickers, afraid of the dark," his Uncle sneered, knowing that his words word trigger long forgotten memories. "Still afraid of the monsters in your head, but now the monster is you."_

_He__ knew he was acting on irrational impulses, the evidence of a child's porcelain doll but he couldn't stop himself from feeling the intense wrath burning in his soul. He had always been unusual, never amounting to goodness in his mother's eyes. He once overheard his mother and aunt talk malevolently of him, wishing the lord would take him away when he was a child. They used words like imp, a demon, devil spirit that strangely seemed appropriate. The cruel words sounded like his mother was trying to exorcist his existence from her world as if she was warding off a demon who possessed her womb and infested her with their instrument of evil. He didn't understand the meaning behind the chilling words when he was a child. But he knew enough to know he was different from other children his own age. Yet he craved his mother's approval. __Stranger was the need to resolve his strained and awkward relationship with his mother before she died. _

_He tried desperately to make something of it, searching his memories for any hints or clues. His recollections of her death were obscured in the extreme, and only occasionally remembered the odd scene of dialogue in passing. Could he have possibly repressed some of the memories, the sombre feeling that subdued his recall or was something ominous at play? Something terrible, gruesome to remember.__ The __only thing he did recall is the day of her funeral, with everyone clad in black and crying in the living room, holding each other for comfort. He himself was indifferent, having little or no emotions on that day as if he didn't understand. But what was he really hiding?_

"_Shut your gob. You understand nothing." __He said, and his words hung in the room for an eternity. Then Uncle Finely looked at him, giving him a distant and unfeeling glance. He felt as though he'd taken a stab and the knife probed in his back of his spine. Then he had started to cry as memories flooded his mind with force as his Uncle looked at him amused that a grown man could cry such tears even though he knew deep down inside his Nephew was a cold-hearted killer._

_After all the years, he was still crying. Crouched over, he failed to prevent a steady stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. If the gloomy speculations formed into a hard truth then the repercussions were colossal. It also meant he was sharing this sacred moment with a pedophile and child killer he knew of his Uncle. His blood boiled, chilled, ran in cold streams through his veins. He stared at the figure in front of him, a figure that has haunted him for years and made him the monster that he was today. He picked up the old dusty photograph on the mantle, the black and white snapshot of unhappy faces that imitated a so-called normal Christian family. But it was far from normal. His alcoholic domineering father, who held the family together with an iron fist. His fanatical, obsessive religious mother who mechanised her life in scriptures and demanded sanctification from her child. In the picture he was eleven, his thick dark brown hair hung over his shoulders. His mother red-head and freckled, presented a fake smile to the camera as if she was convincing herself her life was normal. The odd looking doll hung from her hand, lopsided head and also looking absently into the lens as if it had a soul. As if it knew the dark secrets that hide behind the lens. __He stroked it, a combination of optimism and horror swelling in the pit of his stomach. He decided he should interrogate his Uncle about the subject which had exasperated him so much since he heard his voice over the phone. He sat down on the chair opposite his Uncle, and their eyes inevitably drifted towards the doll._

"_Why didn't you want me to have that doll here?" He asked, watching his Uncle's facial features. They looked defeated__. _

_He moaned into the hollowness, the air feeling thin. "It's morbid, that's all."_

"_How so?"_

_The anger crept into his voice. "Because it's the doll of your dead mother and we both know it has great significance."_

_He pounced on a single word he had chosen. "Dead? You're assuming she's dead then? But there has not been a single evidence that she actually died."_

"_Of course she's dead. We held a funeral. Why would you say such a cruel thing?" His Uncle asked, knowing the reasons why._

"_I'm not a child so don't talk down to me. And they never actually found her body, did they? She might have run off and started a new life for herself, choosing to remove herself from the hell we were all under." He said, blocking the truth from evading his memories._

_He Uncle turned, his wrinkled face turning his attention towards him. He raised his eyebrow slowly.__ "__Do you think she actually ran away from you, her life?"_

_He averted his Uncle gaze. "Maybe…she never cared much for me, except her holy preaching and harsh expectations."_

_His Uncle Finely laughed loudly and his laugh echoed in his brain as he got up, reeling annoyance, he shot a casual glance at the chair. The porcelain doll was no longer sitting here, and in its place sat his mother, bleeding from the head and looking as if she was decaying. Was she a phantom, an apparition in a visible form manifesting a spirit? Translucent and barely visible to a realistic, lifelike vision that he so desperately tried to block. Was this a deliberate attempt to contact the spirit of his deceased dead mother to beg for redemption? Her __empty eyes and hallow skin, pale as a mortuary slab she appeared to him. Was his mind playing tricks on him or did the spirit of his dead mother come to steal his last breath and send him to Tartarus, in the deep abyss to torment and suffer for his sins. To be judged on death where the wicked shall received divine punishment. __ He remembered trying to scream but no words left his mouth as he froze like a frightened child looking helpless and impotent._

_His Uncle __felt a pang of sympathy for him, a momentary lapse that quickly dissipated. He jerked himself upright suddenly, and his face winced in pain. He was no better than the monster that stood in front of him. Some might even say, he created the monster. Some might say, he was the devil himself. __"Do you remember?"_

_He wasn't thinking rationally at this point, already starting to convince himself that he had nothing to do with her death. He felt drawn to the mystery surrounding her, as though a shard of his own life was trapped there too. He realised now how twisted and perverted those thoughts were, but they seemed so vivid and real at the time._

"_You know why I am here." His Uncle Finely replied, tired and ready to move onto another form. He held no ideologies or ethics as he knew his beliefs and values held no real truth to his religion or the cloth he once wore. There was little good in him and the dogmas in question held no moral code. He was truly a devil in sheep clothing._

_There was a painfully long silence__. __The initial thoughts filled him with revulsion, but then something clicked at the back of his mind. __It was a fitting conclusion, and he wondered how it had not occurred to him before. After all, it was a fact that murder victims were very likely to know their killers.__ His __own childhood was also extremely hazy. There were so many gaps, patches of white that he desperately wanted filled. Looking up at his Uncle, his eyes conveying an uncertainty.__ "__What was your question?" He asked, coming out of his fog like mind._

"_I said, you know why I am here, don't you." He repeated his words, damning his soul._

_Their eyes met in an awkward stare as the temperature of the room rose steadily. "Yes, I suspected when you entered my house."_

_He walked towards the doll and picked it up then walked towards his Uncle Finely who stood there unmoved. It wasn't as if he didn't know what was coming. He unlatched the lock to a door that only he opened and they descended the staircase, entering a dark lower level that seemed to fill the air with death. He walked over, placing the doll on a seat that had been covered by plastic which looked like it had not been touched for many years. A ring of dust remained as he placed the doll neatly sitting upright as he stroked the dress, staring hopelessly at doll as he held it. For one awful moment he felt as if he was holding her, his dead mother in his arms. It was difficult to describe, but he felt the doll needed so desperately to be there – to hear whatever he had to say for himself. Was this his shining moment?__ He picked up the doll and turned around __and saw the look of terror shadow his Uncle face as he brought her over the threshold. His eyes darted around awkwardly._

"_What the hell are you doing? Stop avoiding the obvious." His Uncle demanded, grabbing his arm and violently twisting it.__ He__ ignored his Uncle tight grip even though the pain, as he lost his grip and held the doll for dear life. His Uncle head turned to him suddenly, still waiting for an answer._

"_I asked you a question boy!" He screamed out, trying to shake his glass world._

"_You want answers Uncle Finely," he cried out, with eyes intense and angry boiling inside his veins. "Well, so do I?"_

"_Answers about what?" He replied, waiting for the walls to crumble._

"_About my mother and what you did to me and her." __The muscles around his mouth twitched, his tongue stroking empty words. He spoke carefully, each letter and syllable carefully enunciated._

"_What do you remember, Drone?" His Uncle weakly asked, tired of the obvious._

_He felt his confidence failing. The absolute idiocy of the situation whacked him sick in the stomach, and he almost snickered with embarrassment. He almost stopped dead, but then he saw his mother's face again, transparent. The face that has always lived on in his memory, long after her death and decay of her body. The trepidations of her memory disturbed his mind. He paused for what seemed like an hourglass of time, dripping slowly before finally soldiering on.__ "__I think there might be something you've not told me. I think you may have been involved in her death."_

_His Uncle eyes widened in what appeared to be genuine shock. Then, his face sunk back down. He didn't answer his accusations, but rather directed a question back to him.__ "__I know what I did to you was unspeakable and horrendous. I have no excuses and have resigned to that fact and I did not come here looking for forgiveness. But my boy, your mind is chaotic. It is not I who killed your mother."_

_He sneered as the hairs on his arm rose. "You liar. You pedophilia sodding liar." __His clawed hand reached and grabbed his Uncle's arm. His eyes were aflame, more life burning inside of them than his Uncle had seen in many years. "You hated her. You were so jealous of her. You went out of your way to make her life a misery, didn't you?" He demanded. "Hiding behind your cloth, preaching God and demanding her to give her life to you."_

_His Uncle balked at the suggestion. "You're lying! None of that's true."_

"_You were an absolute bitch to her, and only I ever seemed to notice…" He said, tightening his grip._

_His Uncle shook his head in utter defiance, pulling away from his tight grip on his arm.__ "__You're just taking attention away from yourself. You're making all this up to mask your own guilt. I know what I did to you was wrong, but you are a monster. Even when you were a child."_

"_You created me, remember?" He finally said, unable to keep his voice from cracking. "How many did you betray? How many lives did you invade? How many boys did you keep by your bedside you sick pervert?"_

"_And that porcelain doll…You were so invidious of that thing….you used to actually pull it out of your mother's grasp, poor thing…" He remarked coldly. "Did she love that doll more than you?"_

_A change had fallen over the doll's face. Before he had viewed it as a living being, the personification of a killer's guilt. Now the doll only reminded him of the evil person he had become. But was he really evil? Was it really that simple?_

"_Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you've forgotten?" His Uncle demanded._

_He met his Uncle angry gaze. "I don't know what you're talking about silly old fool."_

"_You were a nasty, malevolent little boy," his lip curled over with a strong and biting hate. "I always said that something would happen…"_

_Why was his Uncle leading him somewhere with these questions? Down a dark and ghastly path he thought to himself. He allowed his Uncle to take him there, dragged into a poisonous re-enactment of their past. _"_You've got some nerve….accusing me of something. We both know what happened to her…"__ He __spat out a mute reply, mouthing only the ghosts of the words he had planned to say. Memories were slowly coming back to him, developing like darkroom photographs. Everything coloured, memories were bright and vibrant again._

_His Uncle's face was soured; lips snarling.__ "__I knew, I knew it all along…I knew you were a malicious child….but the police wouldn't listen…they thought I was unhinged….they couldn't believe a twelve year old could commit such a terrible crime. I tried…I tried to tell them that it was…You….."_

_"No, I wouldn't…I would never…" he shout back.__ He__ remembered the childhood jealousy stirring inside him, the plans hatching in his mind, and the day where he told her she was going to die. _"_There was a moment in his mind when he told himself it was immoral and no matter how strange the outcome willed, there was no escaping."_

"_I don't know what happened, as I wasn't there. My guess at the time and my guess now is that you lead her into the forest behind your house. She was probably went out looking for you….and then..."_

_He wanted to shout out his denial, to scream that he was a dirty little liar. He couldn't because he knew that deep inside the abyss of his soul his Uncle was telling the truth. Everything was clear now, all the vivid memories forcing themselves against his crazed mind. It was like peeling off layers of his skin, revealing a rotten inner self. He knew all the words: projection, denial, repression – but couldn't believe any of them applied to him._

_He remembered his gleefully sadistic behaviour towards his mother. He loved to tease and torture her; it gave him some naïve sense of power over weaker creatures. All the sympathy, all the grief had been an invention of his own guilty psyche. Even his memory of leaving her funeral crying had suddenly been altered, as he remembered it correctly now. He had been told to leave because he couldn't stop laughing._

"_Only now you're remembering?" Uncle Finely said, reminding him he was still in the room. "I don't believe you."_

_He didn't reply because there was nothing left to say. His whole life he had allowed the bloody murder to be concealed over with false memories and invented stories, trying to fool everyone so badly that eventually even he believed in his lies. __He __turned around and stared at the doll and picked it up and held it against the light. He remembered bludgeoning her, her face so badly beaten she could not be recognised. Then he buried her, covering her bloodied face with handfuls of dirt. It had stuck under his fingernails, dirt and blood and he remembered washing them in the nearby pond. He started to cry. The doll looked at him impassively, giving him the same blank look it had for the past years. Perhaps it had known all along. What did those crystal eyes hold? What emotional connection did the cherished doll possessed?_

"_You killed your own mother."__ His Uncle said absolutely sure of his words. He was no saint, as he too had killed. He was after all a predator himself._

_His head throbbed suddenly, and he felt as though his whole body was pumping with a sick realisation. He stopped, nearly laughed, and remembered that all this was actually happening. He tried to make it fiction, but reality was screaming in his head. __Mystery? There was never a mystery. Just the usual horror cliché, a killer hiding behind a mask. __"So, you found me out. Forced me to relive the past, all so you can redeem your wicked sick soul? It doesn't change the fact that you stole my innocence."_

"_I'm not here for forgiveness. I'm dying and I needed you to understand what you are, and that you need to stop the killings. I do have many regrets as to what I did to you as a child. But you cannot harbour those memories to condemn your acts of brutality."_

"_You think you can put this episode behind you and wash your sins in the river of clemency in hope it will lead you to greener pastures and that you will not rot away in hell?" He said, with sarcasm that he allowed a grin to form on his face._

"_I know what you are and you believe you are righteous in your beliefs, but in the end you're just a killer like me."_

"_No…we are nothing alike. Your sexual aversion towards young boys is nauseating." He said unsympathetically, trying hard to block the violent memories from his mind._

"_Don't fool yourself in believing you have righteous moral code," his Uncle replied. "You hide behind religious corrupt. But you are pure evil."_

_Having witness the chaos of his mind he caught himself gripping the doll. Words made him feel more disappointed in himself and in an instant he loosened his grip on the doll and it slowly fell to the ground, shattering into what seemed a million pieces of his mother's soul.__ "Shut your gob. I will take your last breath."_

_His Uncle laughed, it was a harsh laughter. He felt a sense of vindication in his reproach. There was nothing left to hide or say that could make things clearer. "Don't you see, I'm already dead. Nothing you can do will redeem your guilt or cleanse the evil in you. Do what you will to me." He hated that creepy doll and was glad it was shattered, lying on the ground telling a story. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable to happen and prayed his soul to be released. The last thought that came into his mind; may the spirit of your dead mother torture your soul until your dying last breath._

_Then everything became silent. After what seemed like an eternity, but only a few minutes the air seemed to thicken and the walls a crimson colour._

_He looked down at his hands, bloodied and he followed the trail of blood to the shattered porcelain doll that he once held with reverence. "You should have never come. In the end, it was her fault. She provoked me to kill her. She should have not loved that doll more than me." He rambled on like an irrational yet cerebral individual. He stared at the lifeless body and remembered why the voices in his head were always right. "You deserved this mercy killing as you were nothing but a weak soul, just like she was."_

* * *

_"Am I interrupting something? I can come again later." An amused Nikki spoke from the door which was now open. _

_"Nikki! Thank God it's you. Come in." Karen said smiling nervously. "I was sure it would be Jim or Yvonne." with that she stood up. Then her face dropped and she closed her eye. "Shit, shit, SHIT!" She cursed. _

_"What's wrong Karen?" Nikki asked and watched Karen with concern. "You left my loft before I had a chance to see you. Also, you left me with a rather hung-over Yvonne who looked like someone pissed in her cornflake. Did something happen between you two? Did you guys fight over the bottle?" Nikki laughed. "It was if she couldn't wait to get out of my place.."_

_"Nothing much. I just tilted a glass of red wine onto your expensive rug." She said her smile full of sarcasm. _

_"Very funny," Nikki said and started to laugh. The whole situation was so funny. Finally Karen laughed too. _

_"I've been squirting a migraine the whole morning," she said finally. "But I suppose you're going to say it's my fault for drinking so much. So, why are you here?"_

_"I just came to say hello and to see if you were okay. Yvonne was acting strange around me earlier. Not much for the chat she was." Nikki said and sat down. "You guys sure made a lot of noise."_

_"Really? I'm sorry if we made a mess," Karen said sincerely. Then she finally lit her fag which had been in her hand all the time and continued. "Did you two iron things out? So what did you and Helen do?_

_Nikki blushed but tried to keep some defences up by saying. "I really don't know what are you talking about Karen but my lips are sealed."_

_"Oh come on! I'm not blind Nikki. Anyway, I wish you luck. And be careful because Sean is a sore loser. I don't know how Helen truly feels, but I know how she looks at you and it's not in a friendship manner." Karen smiled at Nikki's expression. _

_"Right, let's not talk about Helen at the moment. Err… See you later Karen then?" Nikki said quickly trying to avoid Karen's prying eyes. She wasn't ready to talk about what happened between her and Helen. She decided to delete those memories from her mind. She couldn't avoid Helen and since she felt rejected by Helen she would not let her emotions betray her again. If friendship was all she could get then it would have to be no matter how wrong she knew it to be. She would have to respect what she knew what shite. She could not avoid Helen, so she would try to behave herself and be Helen's friend. That was the only option she had._

_Karen knew not to ask as she sensed anguish from Nikki. "Listen Nikki, I need to talk to you, it's important." Karen said finding the courage to tell Nikki something imperative._

_"Okay, what about?" Nikki said confused. Why did Karen look so nervous?_

_"First, what I am about to tell you is in strictest confidence." She said with a serious tone. "I trust you Nikki and I really need you to hear me out without analyzing my words._

_"Sure," Nikki said wondering why Karen looked scared. What was so important that it gave Karen the frightened look in her eyes?_

_"I don't know how to tell you this," Karen said nervously. "Something happened last night."_

_"What do you mean something happened last night?" Nikki replied, confused._

_Karen fidgeted with her hands, trying to find the right words to say, but found none. This was going to be really hard for her to express so she decided to just say it before she lost her nerve. __"Shite," Karen said. "I slept with Yvonne, Nikki."_

_And then Nikki's brain went blank as if she was in the acquisition of either a considerable degree of physical control to something she knew was a basic task. The intangible fact that seemed abstracted, furthermore, confounding the simple words spoken. Did she just hear correctly? Did Karen Betts, her best mate, some one who rationalised bad relationship, a miscarriage of poor choices...just tell her that she slept with Yvonne? _


	20. Chapter 20

_(Just a note; I do not own any of these characters as they belong to Bad girls. Hopefully I have done justice to these characters as I am not an expert but simply trying to write a story that is interesting to those who have read my story)_

_**Chapter 20**_

_Nikki was still for a moment, still dumbfounded as to what Karen just told her. "Did you just say you slept with Yvonne? Because either I am developing a hearing problem or you're out of your mind."_

_Karen sighed. This wasn't a topic she was comfortable with, nevertheless, she knew she could no longer hold the secret she had kept so many years. And she trusted Nikki to be sensible and sympathetic. "I said, I slept with Yvonne." Karen repeated, feeling like a heavy weight of stone was lifted from her shoulders._

_"When you say slept with Yvonne, what exactly do you mean?" Nikki probed. She was still having a hard time processing but she didn't want to seem indifferent._

_"Oh don't be so daft," Karen said impatiently. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"_

_"How in the name of Heaven did you two end of sleeping together?" Nikki said mystified. "I know you both were pretty wasted but still, what happened? What the hell was in that alcohol?"_

_"Fuck Nikki, I am in love with Yvonne." She said which made Nikki's gob dropped. "I have been in love with her since we were fourteen."_

_"Shite," Nikki said feeling dumbfounded. "Way to dump something that heavy on me. This is colossal. I feel like you're on a titanic ship, sinking so let me be your anchor. I know a thing or two on complicated relationships." Nikki said, giving Karen a warm hug. "How long babe?"_

_"I've been hiding my feelings from her so long that I feel disappointed in myself and I'm a hopeless no hoper." Karen said, her palms feeling sweaty. "This is not easy for me to reveal as you might know."_

_"Does Yvonne know you are in love with her?" Nikki questioned._

_"God no," Karen quipped. "I can't tell her something like that. She means everything to me."_

_"The woman slept with you," Nikki explained. "If she didn't feel something why the hell would she have gone down that path? It doesn't make sense to me."_

_"I don't think she knew what she was doing. Sometimes we find ourselves doing things we never thought we were capable of doing. I don't even know if she remembers anything." Karen said. "I just remembering waking up next to her naked and I freaked out and left her there." _

_"Bloody hell," Nikki exclaimed. This was going to get weird, not to mention awkward when she runs into Yvonne she thought. "Bloody fantastic. My two mates inexplicable have a drunken shag, confounding my already fucked up brain with a knowledge that you have been harbouring a secret desire to hook up with a woman, mind you a woman who just happens to be your best mate. But heck, it was no big deal since you both were drunk and she might not even remember the sordid affair."_

_"I left before she woke up," Karen said. "This is so fuck up and I feel like she has been avoiding me this morning. What the hell do I do? Do I confront her about what happened or should I leave it alone? She might not even have any recollection."_

_"She needs to know how you really feel, maybe she feels the same." Nikki stated. She couldn't believe what happened but she wasn't totally surprised. She also had a feeling that Karen and Yvonne relationship was intense and different than your average mate, but it was still a shock for her. "I don't believe for a moment that she doesn't remember. You two need to sort your feelings for each other before you continue the catastrophe of your relationship and ruin the best thing you have in your life." _

_"I can't lose her friendship." Karen said. "I would die if I lost her. She means everything to me."_

_"You won't lose her." Nikki replied. "Yvonne is stubborn by fault, but I know for certain that she loves you and would be lost if you were not in her life."_

_"We are talking about Yvonne." Karen said. "You know how stubborn she is and she always is in avoidance."_

_"Yeah, I guess you are right." Nikki thought for a moment. "But, I also know you two have had many arguments and have survived. I think you two need to wake up and realise what is most important and do something about it. You two belong together. Why it has taken this long is beyond reason, but now I realise that what I felt between you two wasn't something in my imagination."_

_"The thing is Nikki," Karen said. "When Yvonne mentioned that she slept with a girl back when she was young, well that someone was me."_

_"It just gets better." Nikki shook her head._

_"We were both young and foolish and in an experimental age and we told ourselves that it was a one-off thing." Karen said, sighing. "Then she met Charlie and the rest is history."_

_"Yeah, that sure worked. She is unhappy in her marriage and I believe it's because of you. There is so much more to the story."_

_"I tried to have relationship with men but I can't seem to find someone to care about as much as I care about Yvonne. I'm not gay. I mean I'm not like you." Karen replied._

_"Nice to define yourself," Nikki laughed. "It doesn't matter what label you want to put on yourself. You're in love with a woman, mind you, a woman you lusted over so many years, and you're worried about whether you'd be labelled gay or not."_

_"That is not what I meant." Karen stated. "I don't want to feel like I have to fit into a category. Why does everything have to be so complicated?"_

_"I know it is," Nikki stated. "I'm not here to judge you. I hate labels myself but you don't need to worry about what others might think of you. It's only complicated if you allow yourself to get caught up in all that shite. The fact is you are in love with a woman and what that makes you is irrelevant. Don't let yourself worry about the details and concentrate on what's important. You need to follow your heart and tell her how you really feel about her. Obviously, she must feel something for you. I see the way she looks at you."_

_"Don't be rash." Karen remarked, feeling stupid. Was she just fooling herself? She has been in avoidance for so long maybe she forgot how to live in reality. What did that make her? What did she really fear? Other's judging her or being rejected by Yvonne. Was it that simple? Did the real fear lie within herself? Then the thought of wasted years depressed her. How was she supposed to act in front of Yvonne? The only person she truly loved and wanted to spend her life with._

_"Fine, play it your way, but you cannot stop the force within you." Nikki said, running her fingers through her hair._

_"Please don't mention any of this to Yvonne." Karen pleaded. "I would die of embarrassment."_

_"You're secret is safe with me, but honestly Karen, you should tell Yvonne." Nikki said. "Why prolong your agony? Don't sell yourself short. Just tell her how you really feel."_

_"I can't." Karen said defeated. "I just can't."_

_"What about Jim? You know that bastard won't give up." _

_"I told him to piss off but that sodding bastard is up my backside any chance her gets."_

_"It's Jim Fenner," Nikki laughed. "The man is a slimy git who doesn't take rejection well."_

_"Well, I was never happy with him," Karen confessed. "I was trying to forget my feelings and Jim seemed like someone who can make me forget."_

_"Well that didn't work." Nikki rolled her eyes._

_"I will think of something because right now, I can't handle all this shite." Karen said, breathing air into her restricted lungs. She wasn't sure how she was going to handle her current predicament. _

_"Hey, I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on." Nikki said, putting her hand on Karen's shoulder. She knew Karen was confused and allowed her judgment to get clouded but she needed to support her even if she felt that the situation was unwise. She had other problems to worry about. She knew she had to put up a fake smile to Helen before she headed to her office. And then she thought of Monica. There was still no change in her condition. She knew she needed to do something. Where did Monica come from? Why was she such a mystery? She knew it was wrong but she had a plan. After-all, she was only thinking about Monica's future._

* * *

_Helen sat in her chair looking over an envelope as she thought about Nikki. She looked over her phone contemplating whether she should call Nikki, but something kept her from dialing the numbers. She was feeling off and she knew she felt anxious how to act around Nikki. She knew she was probably overreacting but she didn't like how they left things. She was still confused and wondered if lying to Sean was right. She knew she was not happy with him but her feelings for Nikki was all consuming that she had to at least give herself time. Deep down inside she knew that she had to break off the engagement and focus on what she needed. Lying to Sean, Nikki and everyone was becoming a strain and she needed to focus on work and trying to stop the killings. But how could she begin to focus when she knew she needed Nikki's help. She told herself that her personal life would have to wait as she tried to solely focus on work. If only she could. She sighed and looked at the envelope again. The investigation was about to get complicated and she sensed an unease about the envelope she held. Apprehension crept up and Helen took a deep breath as she dialed the phone. "Jim, can you scour the front and see if Nikki has arrived. If so, can you bring her to my office? Thanks." Helen placed down her phone, her nerves slightly tattered. She wasn't sure if seeing Nikki was making her nervous or if the fact that the envelope she held in her hand was troublesome? _

* * *

_Nikki leaned against the wall, smoking her fag. She played in her mind how she was going to act in front of Helen. She was going to be impassive and arms-length. She played each scenario in her mind, each resulting in the same conclusion; a no-win solution. In truth, she had no clue how she was going to act or how she was going to manage her emotions. _

_"Wade, stop whatever you're doing. Stewart wants to see you in her office," Jim Fenner shouted to Nikki who was ignoring him._

_"What for?" Nikki asked, showing her poker-face. She wasn't sure if Fenner was only trying to provoke her or just being a duff she knew him to be. "I don't take orders from a complete duffer like you. Take the piss."_

_"I don't have time for your snide remarks. Do I look like a messenger to you? I was told to find you and drag your sorry arse if needed." Fenner was impatient. He was peeved on the fact that he couldn't prove that Nikki dyke Wade was the reason Karen broke off their relationship. He blamed her for turning Karen against him. In fact he was pissed off he could've almost killed someone. _

_Nikki threw a nasty glare over at him. She was glad that Karen pissed him off. What a sore loser she thought to herself. Then she followed Fenner to the Helen's office. What was this about? Why didn't Helen just ring her? This act seemed cold. She knew things were tense since the moment Helen left her loft. She wondered how Helen was going to act in front of her._

_Jim knocked on Helen's door before opening it. "I managed to drag her here but she was putting up a fight, god know why," Jim said with a sickly-sweet smile. _

_"Thank you Jim. I'll call you when I'm ready." Helen said and her voice was strained as she got up nervously from her desk._

_"I'm not sure can I leave you alone with that one. God knows what could happen," he said with a clod voice and then continued. "Well Helen, don't be alone too long with that dyke?" He looked at Helen who had now started to blush. Not because of embarrassment but because of a rising anger. _

_"You dodgy bastard. Afraid you'll appear to others as a Nancy-boy. Go blow out of your arse you eejit." Nikki hissed to him but Jim pushed her away. _

_"That's enough Jim. Now get the hell out of my office," Helen shouted when she finally lost her temper. "And unofficially Jim, you have no right to speak to Nikki like that, understand. You might have your head so far up Stubberfield's arse, but I am still in charge, and keep that gob of yours shut if you don't want to see yourself demoted. And don't even try to cross me." She condemned to him before banging the door shut. _

_"I could kill him sometimes." Helen whispered mostly to herself. She opened the door again to make sure Fenner wasn't spying them. Then she turned back to Nikki. Those smiling brown eyes were now staring at her and as always they saw straight to her soul. _

_"Hello Helen," Nikki said quietly. She wanted to be formal, and unfeeling, but looking into those green eyes melted her like butter. _

_"Look Nikki," Helen wanted to talk about what happened the previous night but Nikki shook her head._

_"Don't explain anything," Nikki said, raising her hand up, "I know what you are going to say and believe me I had time to think and I just want to say that I want us to remain friends. I don't want whatever happened to ruin our working relationship."_

_"But…can you just forget what happened?" Helen said, realising she didn't want to forget but she knew she was confused and it wasn't fair to expect Nikki to understand._

_"I don't want to forget. But I think we both realised that under the current situation, what we were doing was wrong." Nikki felt sick in her stomach. What she was saying was a lie, but she knew she had no choice but to leave Helen to find her own way. If it was only going to be friendship, then she needed to accept. Pressuring Helen was not going to make her feel better and she didn't want Helen to make a decision based on guilt. _

_"I'm really sorry Nikki for everything." Helen said feeling emotional. "I care so much about you but I need to find myself. Do you understand?"_

_"Considering my perceptive mind," Nikki laughed crudely. "I appreciate your honesty, but apologetic words are less endearing. However, pessimistic our situation appears, confession of love need not apply. So let's leave whatever tattered emotions we had in a beautiful state of suspended animation."_

_"Nikki," Helen implored. "Let's not lessen the experience." She knew she had no right to expect anything from Nikki, but hearing her words seemed to suggest a moment in time._

_"I besieged you," Nikki questioned. "Please, let us not rehash what is in the past. I simply wanted to keep that memory from souring." _

_"Cheeky," Helen looked straight into Nikki's eyes. Even though she knew what Nikki was saying was true, the truth still stung. "I don't know what to say, but I hope we can overcome this obstacle…"_

_"Is that a half-arsed attempt? Don't worry," Nikki said, her voice shaky. "We'll be alright. Promise. Now why did you want to see me right away?"_

_"I needed to talk to you," Helen said trying not to sound pleased. She was happy just to have Nikki in front of her without feeling the need to run the other direction. She missed Nikki even though time had barely passed, yet at the same time, she needed to keep herself from falling apart in front of the dark hair beauty. All she wanted to do was get on with things but life was never that easy. "Please, sit down." Nikki sat down and Helen walked behind her desk. She sat down as well and took an envelope from her drawer. _

_"I got this a couple of hours ago. A letter from our killers. It's not postmarked." Nikki looked down shocked at the envelope in Helen's hand and then back up at Helen's eyes. _

_"What did it say?" Nikki asked feeling insecure of speaking. "So the game has begun."_

_"I only read the note but it said not to open the folder. Only to give it to you." Helen whispered. "Do you know what it could be about? And why is it specifically addressed to you?" _

_"I'm just as confused as you are Helen," Nikki couldn't believe her ears. "Believe me, I'm just as surprise as you. But I get the feeling I'm connected in some way. And I also believe that book Malleus Maleficarum was delivered to me for a reason and not some random act. They are trying to send a message. If so, why. Should I open it," Nikki said, looking up and waiting for a response. _

_"I've been racking my brains, but I won't say that this doesn't concern me. I'm afraid that it might get in the wrong hands. I don't like where this is going. But if you are right about the killer working in the force, then we need to be very careful. This is getting personal." Helen feared for Nikki's life. She was trying not to show fear but the thought of losing Nikki was heartbreaking. Considering everything that was unfolding. "We need to know what we are up against."_

_"You're right," Nikki weakly smiled as she opened the folder. "Let's find out what we are dealing with no matter what happens. And something tells me this is just the beginning. Why do I get the sense that these killers are evolving."_

_"If you are correct then I get a bad feeling that the body count will rise quickly." There was a knock on Helen's door as Dominic entered, his face showing signs of someone who hasn't slept much. _

_"Helen," Dominic said, his voice strained. "They found another body."_

_"Shite," Helen exclaimed. "Round the team and wait for my orders."_

_"Of course," Dominic replied before heading off._

_Nikki looked over at Helen who looked weary. "We can open the envelope later. I know things are a little tense but we should get together tonight, perhaps at your place and go through everything. We must be missing something." Nikki said, trying not to sound as if she wanted to get Helen alone. _

_Helen thought about it for a moment. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea being along again with Nikki so soon after what happened but Nikki was right. They needed time to go through things. She told herself it was only for the investigation and they were still friends. She still wanted Nikki in her life. She just wasn't ready for the complication that came with it. _

_Nikki sensing Helen's hesitation replied, "Listen Helen," she spoke calmly, "I know you're a little weary about what happened earlier, but let's put that behind us and focus on the investigation. If you would prefer you could go through it with Dominic."_

_"No, it's okay," Helen replied, realising Nikki was just trying to put her at ease. "You're right. What if I come by later tonight at your place and we can go through the envelope and hopefully figure out where are killers are going."_

_"Are you sure?" Nikki asked, a slight hesitation on her part._

_"Listen Nikki," Helen said. "I don't want to feel awkward and I value your input and right now we both need each other if we are going to stop these killers."_

_"We will stop them," Nikki said, giving Helen a weak smile. "All we need is to put our collective heads together. We need to let them think they are smarter than us."_

_"Well right now they are two steps ahead of us," Helen replied._

_"True," Nikki grinned. "But we are also clever and won't stop until we catch them." _

_"Okay, my junior detective," Helen smiled. "We have a crime scene to attend."_

* * *

"_Just drag her inside__," He said to his companion. "Get the damn door idiot," He ordered, feeling aggravated and irritable. _

"_With all due respect," his companion began to say, pleading his situation, arm extended. "You don't need to use those words on me. I'm not a child."_

"_Enough, already with your whining. You're acting like a spoiled child. We have work to do so stay focus." His rage grew._

"_You never listen to me, alright. I just wanted a little respect. I don't understand why you are acting insensitive."_

"_Shut your gob. Don't want to hear you complain. Understand me?" He nodded over to companion. "Get her on the table and restrain her before she regains her conscience." He retreated a chair next to the window, which was painted black. It was only a matter of seconds before the girl started to arise. She winched her eyes, still blurry from her wet tears and she scanned the room and realised she was strapped down on a table, her arms and legs unable to move. She wanted to scream but the words in her head did not reach her mouth. It took her a few more seconds before she felt her words come through her throat._

_"Please don't kill me." The girl pleaded to unsympathetic eyes that looked at her as if he knew something awful was about to happen._

"_Shut your gob."_

_She hesitated unsure what was happening. "Please, I beg you mercy." _

_"I said, shut your gob." He walked towards the table, looked at the girl, pulled her hair, followed by a backhand slap to her face for emphasis._

_She cried out in pain as the tears felt hot on her face. She instantly knew she was never going home and a million thoughts went through her mind. The love ones she would never see again. She wondered how it all happened. Was this her end? "I'm only sixteen, please…"_

"_Shut up whore and listen, understand?" He backed up, glancing over to his companion, nodding toward the workbench. He turned around, picked up some duct tape, which he handed over to his companion. "Here, take care of this. I don't want to hear her screams."_

_Her eyes filled with terror, raw anxiety of the brittle unknown. "Oh, please – I...," she tried speaking further but her mouth was slapped with fresh duct tape. The sound of the power drill being turned startled her. _

_He now stood before her with the drill vibrating inches away from her face. "Does this frighten you?" He sneered. "Would you like confess your sins? I regret to inform you that you have engaged in the Seven Deadly Sins; Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth." He preached. "For you there is no repentance for sin, no forgiveness for lust, and no salvation for your obvious sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery." He replied with madness_

_She tried to cry out her innocence but to no avail as it didn't matter if she was pure. In his mind she was just as guilty as the other women who engaged in idolatry and witchcraft. _

_"Your hatred, discord, jealousy, selfish ambition, orgies are not sectarian and those who live like that will not inherit the Kingdom of God." He looked at her. "Do you confess to your wickedness?"_

_She frantically shook her head, her sounds, uneasy breathing forcing congestion through her nose._

"_Need more breathing room, huh?" He sneered. He was enjoying the terror in her eyes._

_She cried, coughed out between attempted screams. She had no control over much of her body. An unconditional resignation, leaving no doubt what was to come._

_He picked up the power drill again with an almost delicate touch, without saying a word, glanced over to his companion, who was looking uneasy with the whole scenario. He could hear his companion breathing unevenly as the look in his eyes, glossed over seemed menacing. He noticed he looked different. He could not put his finger on it but something was different about him. This wasn't how they did things. It was always clean and precise but he knew that tonight the killing would be messy and unsettling. He wondered what was going through his companion head. He sensed things would change as he looked at the girl who was drawing a pleading look in her eyes. Then, he felt himself weave into some vital cocoon, protecting himself from the ugly truth, trying to shield the echoes on her screams - in some widening dimension, allowing himself to be away – yet there, at the very same instant. There was no escape from reality._

_The nagging hum of the drill tunnelled on her knee, then like an incision through as if he was cutting bread as the blood sprayed his hands. Her nose now bubbled out mucous. He spoke in halting terms on how it had to be, "See, all this could be avoided if you went with our terms, and not with the sinners. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthy nature…because of these, the wrath of God is coming." Then irrational the drill continued next to with shoulders, upper body rolling from side to side, and then her head, the muffled sounds of rank pain and fear. His companion wanted to pull on his arm, somehow plead for a mercy kill. In this confinement, this suspended place that drew him in through some membrane of ease, as it were, he became dumb, tone deaf, to this reality._

_The smell of burning bone, torn cartilage, corroded his thoughts in an unusual way. The odd thought rose, maybe he could stop this madness. He knew he was the weak one compared to his companion. Then it hit him, he was fearful. The unpleasant thought crept his mind. What if his companion grew tired of him? But they were both killers…would he eventually suffer the same out-come? Was this retribution for his gruesome participation of killing? He was a man of books and knowledge and he knew right from wrong. Still a part of him was wicked and cruel and enjoyed killing, yet at the same time, tonight was different. _

"_I will need you to clean up after I am done." He nodded. For a moment, he felt stupid and inept. All he did tonight was watch and now he was left to the cleaning duty. They always did the killing together. Somehow, tonight was different. But why? He knew not to ask so he shrugged his shoulders and waited for a sign._

* * *

_"What information do we have so far," she said with a chuckle. Then a very long pause. "Although I was hoping for better results to report, there is little left for recourse." Nikki took a step closer. "Do you have any idea how long she had been here?" Put me out of my misery she thought to herself as she tried to stay focus._

_"Judging by her skin colour," Zandra replied, still staring down at the dry puddle of blood. "A few days is my guess."_

_"This victim was methodical placed," Nikki said. "He painstakingly positioned her as if she was posing for a still. What is he trying to tell us?"_

_Helen coughed and groaned a bit. "Still no closer to understanding all this shite," she winced as her words felt painful as she noticed from the corner of her eye how intently Nikki was looking at her. "What else can you tell about her?" Helen nod in her direction. _

_"Something odd about this victim." Nikki replied advancing as she allowed herself to think about the kiss, the touch, but Helen stepped in front of her, almost breaking her concentration and bringing her back to reality. _

_"Careful where you step, Nikki," Helen stated dryly. _

_Nikki managed to lift her head to get a glimpse of the voice in front of her, dazed as if she forgot where she was standing for a moment. She could hear Fenner in the background barking words at her in the shadows. "Sorry," Nikki said, remembering that she was at a crime scene and she needed to stay focus. _

_"Well, well, well…" Jim managed a half-hearted smile. "You sure got 'em fooled. Hell, I was even anointing you." He sneered at Nikki. "Even the Goddess herself can make mistakes." He said attacking Nikki with his invasive words_

_"Tell me something, Fenner," Nikki scoffed. "Are you always such a prick or do you like being a nosy-parker?"_

_"You sodding dyke." Jim said provoked. "Watch who you are talking to."_

_"Sure," Nikki spat to clear her voice. "I understand. You're a fatuous toad. But what I want to know is, when you got the royal boot from Karen, did you sleep that night or did you toss and turn like a sore loser we all know you are? Or did you get yourself another trollop? I hear you like the tart type. Michelle Dockley would be right up your alley."_

_No answer, but Jim's leer was intensifying. _

_"Let's keep our nerves calm and focus on the investigation." Helen said, trying to resolve the high tension between Nikki and Jim. Normally she would encourage Nikki, but she was trying to be professional. They were after-all, at a crime scene._

_"Moi?" Nikki continued. "I was just getting started, but knowing I have to work with that chimpanzee, I cannot fathom why I even bother. That is, until you rationalized that selling out real detectives was a better career move. How do you sleep at night knowing your actions might impede our investigation or get someone killed?" She couldn't help but laugh. Nothing was funny about the situation, it was just a reaction. One that earned her a scorn look from Helen and a red-faced Jim, ready to lunge at Nikki._

_Jim stepped closer. He removed a handkerchief from his pocket of his jacket, and raised a grin. "I sleep like a baby. But a dyke like you probably sleeps with her dildo. Go fuck yourself."_

_"Spoken like a true hero," Nikki ridiculed Jim ignoring Helen's icy stare. "Are you taking the piss? Did mommie not breast feed you so you keep to suckling a cow's nipple? Right, Karen bruise your ego and you just can't seem to get your head around your male bravado."_

_"That's enough you two," Helen finally said, having enough of what she was hearing. What came over Nikki? Her sharp tongue was all over the place. "I won't have personal attacks during an investigation." _

_"I can't be fagged," Nikki remarked flippantly. She would have the last word. She was feeling foul. "Don't mind me Helen. I promise to behave before you send me to her majesty's pleasure."_

_"Please Nikki," Helen said, trying to appease Nikki. "Can we just remain focus on the task at hand? I really need your help."_

_"Sorry, Helen," Nikki whispered, embarrassed by her actions. She was being rude, impatient and acting out. She knew her nerves were frayed and she was allowing her judgement to get clouded. "It won't happen again."_

_"What about me?" Jim cried out. "Where's my sympathy?"_

_Helen turned to look at Jim who looked like a scorned fool. "Really, Jim?"_

_"She is not even a Detective, yet you give her access and to top it off, you allow her to run her tongue." Jim said frustrated. "You must be shagging her."_

_"That's enough Jim," Helen said angrily. "Dominic," she shouted. "I want you and Jim to comb through the area. Look for anything that might be relevant."_

_Jim gave Helen an icy look before turning his attention to Dominic. Then before he walked away he turned to Nikki, "This isn't over."_

_"It is as far as I am concerned. Now bugger off and do your job." She said, grinning. Before a red-faced Jim turned away. She looked at Helen who did not seem amused. "Sorry."_

_Helen sighed and looked up wishing she could close her eyes. Then she remembered the envelope and her forehead wrinkled with worry. "What else do you see Nikki? What else can you tell us about this crime scene?" She felt the day was going to be stressful and then she remembered she was going over to Nikki's place later in the evening to discuss the investigation and what was in that envelope. Again, she wondered if being alone was the smart thing to do. Even though her head told her she needed to get on with things, her heart could not stop the longing. _


	21. Chapter 21

_**Sorry about the wait but I was having trouble writing as my brain was not working, not to mention I started a new story. But don't fear dear readers as I haven't forgotten about my story. I'm trying to decide where I want to go and keep things interesting. I have so many ideas that I have for further chapters but I just need to put them into words. So I hope everyone who is reading this story is enjoying it. I know it's different from other stories but if you bear with me I won't disappoint. So please feel free to leave me feedback as it does help motivate me. Again, enjoy.**_

_**Chapter 21**_

_"Look at the crime scene Helen." Nikki said perplexed._

_"I don't understand," Helen replied confused._

_"What doesn't ring true here? This crime scene has been staged." She said, looking around as if she was being played._

_"I don't quite follow."_

_"We know the victim suffered the same gruesome outcome as the others. We know they were all dumped by the killers in places they are familiar with." Nikki said, her brain in overdrive. "This crime scene is too neat, too surreal as if the killers are trying to tell us something different. They want us to play the game. The dominated killer needs to feel in control and I believe his need for control will be his downfall."_

_Helen looked around, took a look at her notes but she couldn't quite see where Nikki was going. "Sorry, I don't understand what you mean."_

_Nikki's eyes narrowed as she again scanned the crime scene as her brain carefully put the pieces of the puzzle together. "Look at the leaves and twigs on the ground…and around the body…but where do you see trees that would shed these kinds of leaves?" Nikki said turning to Helen._

_Helen scratched her head, staring intently at the leaves and her eyes grew wide. "Well I be damn," she said. She couldn't believe she didn't notice it.__ She was amazed that Nikki noticed the little details. Even thought she was a DCI and had been to many crime scene, Nikki deduced this crime scene as if she was reading a mystery novel and giving her a logical conclusion. It was surreal watching Nikki work. She wondered if Nikki ever took courses in criminal science. _

"_Look at these. These leaves are called Sycamore, as some regard it as a weed. It is not native but was introduced from central and south east Europe. They are simple but large leaves. They are somewhat ragged edge to the leaf and in younger trees, the bark is smooth, but as the tree ages it becomes grey and scaly/flaky." Nikki said. "But if you notice, the trees around here are __London Plane tree. Half of the trees planted in London are the London Plane or Hybrid Plane. They are more tolerant of atmospheric pollution and compaction of the root system. The leaves are also simple and maple or sycamore-like but there is a difference. The top surface is a darker green than the lower and the veins are quite noticeable. In autumn, the leaves can form vibrant yellows and orange before they fall."_

"_Wow Nikki, you amaze me by the minute." Helen said smiling. "You noticed all that?"_

"_I know a lot of useless knowledge, but at times it can be quite handy." Nikki said smiling. She didn't know why she never told Helen that graduated first in Computer Forensics and had a doctrine at Criminal Law. She didn't want to feel different. She knew it was wrong but she told herself that she would eventually tell her._

"_What else do you see and why?" Helen asked. _

"_Right now we are playing a game with them. That is what they want." Nikki said, feeling her nerves rise. "The next killing will be revealed soon and it will be different."_

"_But why is what I don't understand?" Helen said, annoyed. "And what's up with the leaves?"_

"_They want us to research and solve the riddle…I don't know why yet. The book, the envelope, the crime scene and I am guessing there is something else to this crime scene we have overlooked." Nikki looked around observing the area, then she bent down again to pick up a leave. She examined it closely, thinking. Then she focused on a single large tree and walked towards it. As she walked towards it she had a feeling she was drawn to that tree for a reason. She patted the tree and felt a loose bark. When she pulled the bark back she saw a note behind it. She turned around and motioned for Helen to come._

"_There is a note," Nikki said handing it over to Helen._

_Helen took the note and began to read it, __"**I have no remorse for my enemy**," the note read, as if the killer was portraying himself as a victim of oppression. "**And I will take your life, judge, as quick as you can blink your eye**." Helen blinked and gave Nikki a blank expression._

"_This killer is unfit to walk among human beings." Nikki replied coldly. _

"_**Riddle me this: This question can only be answered from an unusual perspective. Can you get yourself there….oops…I hide in shadows from the light but you the sinner will die tonight…your judgement shall reveal for all to see…death will beckon you, your eyes shall bleed**." Helen continued reading._

"_Apparently, if you find these riddles on a first guess, you're either very intelligent or have the mind of a serial killer." Nikki expressed amusement. "What this all means I am not sure yet, but I suspect there will be more clues to follow." "_

_Bloody hell," Helen spat. "I don't like where this is all leading to." _

"_What else does it say?" _

_Helen turned over the note and read, "**If you are reading this, then you are clever…but on a bed of roses the thorns hide…flesh and bones…meet me on the other side." **_

_Nikki wrinkled her forehead as she tried to untangle the web. Think Nikki, think she thought to herself. She walked around as Helen watched on, wondering what the riddle meant. Then she closed her eyes and imagined herself in the killer shoes and focused on what was important. She read the riddle in her mind, over and over again trying to understand the meaning. _

"_What are you thinking Nikki?" Helen said watching Nikki._

"_On a bed of roses the thorns hide…" Nikki said out loud. "Flesh and bones…meet me on the other side."_

"_What do you think it means?" Helen asked._

"_Roses are symbolic of love but the shades of red roses also has meanings. Bright red means love, burgundy means unconscious love, dark crimson is mourning. A wither rose is used to show that the love is over." Nikki said, knowing the roses had meaning. "__Roses have long been revered for their beauty and fragrance. Historically, they were considered religious symbols. During the middle ages, roses were thought to have significant religious meaning. A red rose symbolized martyrdom or the blood of Christ. Thorn-less roses signified a sinless life while roses with thorns represented flawed mortality."_

"_I did not realise that roses were considered religious symbols." Helen replied. _

"_Roses with thorns have long been a symbol of adversity, as well as sacrifice. We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." In Oscar Wilde's famous work, "The Nightingale and the Rose," a nightingale pierces its breast on a rose thorn so the lover may have a red rose for his beloved."_

"_So where does this all lead us to?" Helen asked._

"_Well, if I am precise in my thinking, the clue is simple." Nikki said smiling, but leaving a confused Helen. "We need to find a rose bush. Meet me on the other side…." Nikki looked around. "That direction. To the other side of here. I am sure we will find another body."_

"_How did you come to that conclusion?" Helen asked wondering. "Flesh and bones of course. But if you're right, I have a suggestion." She told Nikki. "Dominic, over here." _

_Helen waited for Dominic to approach. "What's up?"_

"_Dominic, you lived in these parts all your life. If I was looking for rose bushes where would I might look?" Helen asked._

"_Okay, well if I wanted to find one close to here, there is a farm not far from here that grows roses. In that direction, over the road. It's about a ten minute walk." Dominic said, smiling as if he knew something._

_Helen looked over at Nikki who was smiling. "Fine, we shall go your direction. I hate when you're right."_

"_Then I promise I won't gloat," Nikki said, grinning._

"_You owe me dinner later tonight." Helen stuck her tongue out. It was nice being herself again with Nikki. She knew nothing about their discussion was sorted, but it felt nice being with Nikki._

"_As you wish…as you wish." Nikki laughed._

* * *

_Karen's mobile ran. "Hello." There was a slight hesitation on the other line. "Hello."_

"_Hey it's me," Yvonne spoke, tired from the hectic morning rush._

_Karen felt her heartbeat race. With a cracked voice she said, "I felt like I was some kind of plague."_

"_Don't get melodramatic on me please," Yvonne said. "What I need is a sympathetic ear."_

"_Nice try, but I know you Yvonne. Something is bothering you. Please tell me what it is." Karen asked, not sure what she wanted to hear. She was a little scared and dumbfounded since she had her talk with Nikki._

"_What are you getting at?" Yvonne said, confused but trying to not let it show in her voice. _

"_Nevermind," Karen replied, losing her nerve. Was she even ready to open that can of worms? Would Yvonne even remember? All she knew is that the life she knew before could no longer be. All the years she spent hiding from her feelings, she rejected anyone who tried to enter her heart. It wasn't as if she was unhappy, but being in Yvonne's life was putting a huge strain on her psyche and she had to get out of her comfort zone. She had convinced herself that one day Yvonne would confess her love but that day never happened and she remained loyal to the one person who captured her heart. Maybe she needed to finally break away from Yvonne and truly find happiness. It was a sad thought but what choice did she have. _

"_You're weird," Yvonne breathed heavily into the phone. "You're my best mate, but I might just trade you in for something new."_

"_If you did that then who will put up with all your mood swings?" Karen said, trying to sound serious._

_Yvonne thought about it for a moment, then laughed. "We are a right pair. I wanted to know if I could come over tonight. I don't want to be alone." She said, her voice sounding depressed._

"_Are you okay," Karen said worried. She didn't like the way Yvonne's voice sounded. "You want to talk about it."_

"_Not over the phone," Yvonne replied. "I really just want to have a girl's night in. Is that okay with you? I mean if you're not busy with anything."_

"_Even if I was busy I would cancel it for you. I don't like how you sound. Come by after seven and we can order in." Karen said. _

"_Thanks babe, you're the best." Yvonne said, feeling a little more upbeat._

"_Anything for you. All you need to do is ask." She said, smiling to herself. No matter how hard she tried to remove herself from Yvonne throughout the years, she could never go through it. Her heart would never allow it._

"_I shall see you later tonight then," Yvonne said. "I know I don't always tell you, but I really do love you."_

_Karen was silent for a moment taking in the words she loved hearing. "Actually, you told me not to long ago. You're going all soft on me. Soon you will be giving me hugs." She joked._

"_Don't push it," Yvonne said, laughing over the phone._

"_Okay, will see you tonight," then a silence came over them before Karen finally spoke, "I love you back."_

* * *

_**(Later in the day…)**_

_"I want you to take a look at this missing person case for me, Kate O'Donnell, tell me what you think." Dominic said._

_"You expect me to think without my cuppa," Helen smirked. "After the morning crap we had I need a strong cuppa."_

_"I'd like you to," Dominic replied. "You do have the experience in this sort of thing."_

_"Could it be just a runaway" Helen replied, not giving much thought. She had bigger fish to fry. "Maybe it's as simple as that."_

_"Maybe, maybe not," He said. "Good looking girl, isn't she. Could be an easy prey."_

_Helen took the file and began to read it. "Honour student with no prior history."_

_"She was working part-time at a local variety store at east end." Dominic said. "It says her mother always picks her up. This doesn't read like a typically runaway does it"_

_Helen sighed. She had a sick feeling in her stomach. "No it doesn't Dom."_

_"Helen, there is a Mr. and Mrs., O'Donnell in reception, something about a missing person they filled out last night" An officer said._

_"Okay, thank you, tell them I shall meet them shortly," she said. Helen looked over at Dominic. "Come with me. We need to deal with this."_

_They made their way towards the parents who looked weary. Helen ushered them towards an empty office as they all sat down._

_"Are you sure that your daughter went for an interview with this Mr. Gold about a job offering" Helen asked._

_"She didn't actually say his name to us," Mrs. O'Donnell replied._

_"Then how did you know his name?" Dominic replied quickly._

_"Miriam told us, her best friend that she was going to an interview with someone named Gold," she replied. "She was the last person to see her before she left for the interview." _

_"She was excited about landing herself a higher paying job," Mr. O'Donnell said. "It's hard to understand, one minute she is there smiling happily," he said trying to hold back his emotions. His voice became shaky._

_"Would you like some water," Helen asked, trying to show sympathy. She knew that their daughter might be a victim of the serial killer. It was only an educated guess but something she knew deep inside would come to pass._

_"Is there any reason why your daughter would want to work?" Helen asked._

_"What difference does that make," his wife said angrily._

_"She was saving up to build a dark room at home," Mr. O'Donnell replied. "She's a very good photographer."_

_"We offered to buy the equipment for her, but she insisted on paying it for herself," Mrs. O'Donnell said. "She is a very independent girl." _

_"Perhaps too independent." He said._

_"It says here that your daughter was supposed to meet Mr. Gold at this address but when we searched the number, there was no address to be found." Helen mentioned._

_"Yes, we tried to call the number that we were given but it was not in service and we got worried." She replied. "And when our daughter didn't come home we called her friends but no one seemed to know where she was."_

_"So we decided to drive around the streets and look for her ourselves." Mr. O'Donnell said. "But we couldn't find her anywhere, that's when we.." he choked on his words._

_"Mr. O'Donnell, we will do everything in our power to find your daughter." Helen said, feeling like her words were empty as she understood that they may never see their daughter again._

_"Thank you detective." He replied._

_"I'll let you know what's happening in our end when we have any new information." Helen said getting up and allowing Dominic to showthem to the door._

_"Adriana, can I speak with you for a minute," Helen asked their older daughter. "Is there any reason that you can think of why your sister might have run away?" Helen said trying not to sound insensitive. "Something she didn't want your parents to know about."_

_"Of course not, what are you trying to do," she said with a disgusted look in her eyes. "Don make it sound as if she was in some kind of trouble, or worst."_

_"Of course not," Helen replied. "Is there something bothering you?"_

_"Last night, the policeman on duty, he told us that it's routine with missing persons to wait 48 hours before doing anything. 48 hours. A lot can happen in 48 hours." She said with an annoyed expression._

_"Thank you," Helen replied, sighing. She did not have any answers but she knew there would be no homecoming._

* * *

_**(Flashback to the morning crime scene)**_

_"I hate feeling like we are being led in a wild goose chase." Helen said walking along side Nikki._

_"I don't think this game they are playing is for nothing," Nikki replied as they continued walking down a path. "We should see something soon."_

_They continued walking until they saw in the distance a farmhouse. They had been walking in an open field, but as they continued closer, the crops became taller._

_"If I had known we were going on some expectations then I might have worn an appropriate footing." Helen exclaimed._

_"You know, I don't know how you wear those shoes to work." Nikki said laughing and shaking her head._

_"I need to look professional," She said giving Nikki a coy stare._

_"If you say so but I prefer to wear shoes that are comfortable, yet stylish." Nikki grin. She liked watching Helen struggle. It amused her._

_"Are you saying I don't look stylish?" Helen moaned._

_"No," Nikki giggled. "But would your feet agree?"_

_Helen pouted, as she grabbed Nikki's arm for support. "Damn crops, damn brushes…"_

_Nikki stopped walking which made Helen look up in surprise until she realised they have stumbled upon a large field of roses. They were many different species and colours. It was a beautiful sight to see._

_"What do you think we'll find?" Helen asked Nikki who looked weary._

_"I don't know but something tells me whatever it is we are not going to like it." Nikki said exhaling. She didn't know what she was looking for. "Keep your eyes open."_

_"I know," Helen replied. "We have no clue what we are looking for."_

_"It will present itself." Nikki stated. "Remember, they want us to find it. No fun if we can't find it."_

_"Well, judging by the ground, these footprints seem fresh." Helen said. "I need to call this in as we need to process this area."_

_As Helen dialled her mobile, Nikki looked around carefully, as she did not want to contaminate possible evidence. But deep inside she knew, the killers we too smart to leave any evidence behind. As she continued walking so noticed something white hanging off a rose brush. When she got closer she realised it was another clue. _

_"Helen, over here." Nikki said._

_"What is it Nikki," Helen replied walking towards Nikki who was pointing at a white envelope. "Another clue?"_

_Nikki carefully removed the envelope, careful not to get pricked by the thorns and opened it. "**Congratulations, you have passed the first step. Riddle me this: Go through the place, the house of slaughter, the prize is hidden, a treasure you're after**."_

_"What do you think it means?" Helen asked Nikki who was in deep thought._

_"The house of slaughter is a barn," Nikki said, pointing to the red barn in the distance. "The prize is hidden….my guess is once we arrive inside the barn there should be a trunk somewhere in which we will find our treasure."_

_"Are you ready," Helen said breathing. She knew something awful was waiting for them._

_Nikki took hold of Helen's hand which at first startled her, but Nikki's grip was firm as if she was trying to hold on for dear life. "Shall we go on," Nikki said, looking at Helen and giving her a frightful look. _

_"Together," Helen smiled in the face of uncertainty. "Whatever we find brings us one step closer to them. I know we can catch these bastards._

_Nikki nodded her head and they both continued walking until they were standing in front of the red barn. Then Nikki slowly opened the door and an awful smell of death rushed through her nose. She had to stop for a moment. Helen removed her gun, just in case there was something waiting for them inside._

_"This barn smells of death, and I don't mean the animal kind." Helen stated. "There is another body in here."_

_"It seems so Helen," Nikki said, covering her nose. "Look for a trunk. I am sure there is a trunk in here."_

_After a few minutes looking around the barn, they still had no come across a trunk or any other clue. "I don't see anything, but these stairs lead to something and I'm guessing our treasure." Nikki said, looking at Helen who motioned with her eyes still holding her gun._

_"Follow me, Nikki." Helen said, as she made her way slowly up the wooden stairs watching for anything unsuspecting._

_When they finally reached the top there were bundles of hay and a stack of wood, and many hooks hanging with dry blood on them. "Stay behind me," Helen whispered as they made their way towards the large bundle of hay and as they approached closer the smell of death became stronger. In the corner there was an old worn out trunk and both Helen and Nikki turned to look at each other and exhaled._

_"I get this foreboding feeling," Nikki said quietly._

_Helen went to open the drunk and was hit with a harsh smell of death and her eyes grew wide with fear and disgust that she had to look away. She felt ill and sickened by what she saw. She couldn't believe how inhuman a person could be._

_Nikki looked inside the truck, her nose covered by her arm and she wanted to cry. She felt a melancholy come over her and knew she could do nothing. "These bastards are sick and twisted."_

_"Nikki, we need to catch them," Helen said passionately. "I know this is just the beginning and I fear many more young girls will die."_

_"I know, I know," Nikki said, almost in a whisper._

_What they found in that trunk was enough to make anyone vomit. Inside the trunk, a decapitated head and limbs were placed neatly. Blood stained the wooden trunk. But the true horror was not how brutal her staying must've been, but the look of horror that still stained the girl's face. _

_"It seemed the last thought she had was of absolute horror," Nikki stated as she could hear sirens in the background. "I can't imagine what thoughts went through her head as she understood death was her outcome."_

_"Twisted and demented," Helen spat in disgust. "This is not their normal killing pattern."_

_"I believe this girl represented a strong hate within him. I don't believe she was raped and sodomize. This killing is pure hatred. Something traumatic happened in his life recently for him to act out in this manner." Nikki explained._

_"Someone in his life he hated," Helen interjected. "I believe there was someone in his life he killed, someone of significance and this killing is not typical of these killings."_

_"I believe that too, Helen." Nikki said. "I am guessing, no I believe this person was his mother. We need to link her death to him."_

_"If only it was that easy," Helen moaning, realising the days ahead with dark and gloomy._

_"I won't be easy, but this is his first mistake." Nikki smiled. "And it won't be his last." Nikki bend down towards the trunk and reached in._

_"Nikki," Helen said loudly. "You can't."_

_"But I see something," She said looking at Helen._

_"You are not wearing gloves and I can't have you contaminating he crime scene. I'm sorry," Helen said, lowering her voice as she realised she must've sound harsh._

_"I understand, but we need to see what's there." Nikki said._

_"Leave it to me, the professional." Helen smiled. She took out a pen from her purse and carefully removed the small pouch with her gloves on. As she opened it, inside was a folded paper. She opened the paper and read out-loud. "**Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.** Matthew 18:6" Helen looked at Nikki. "What do you think this means?" _

_Nikki thought about it for a minute before saying, "This statement is not about these young girls but something more personal. I believe our killer was sexual abuse as a young child, which would explain the brutal decapitation of this young girl. He projected his anger towards her."_

_"Great, our killer was at some point a young victim." Helen said in disbelief. _

_"Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and righteous, for I will not acquit the wicked," Nikki said reciting from the bible. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." _

_Helen shook her head. "Our killer doesn't like crime against children," she spat. "But he has no problem taking innocent lives." _

_"Remember crimes against children tend to be local crimes with the vast majority taking place within the home or family circle." Nikki stated._

_"Don't you think I know that," Helen replied. "I have seen many cases of child abuse. It's never easy dealing with these types of cases. Too many confuse pornographic with child abuse."_

_"A sexual image of a child is abuse or exploitation and should never be described as pornography," Nikki said. "Pornography is a term used for adults engaging in consensual sexual acts. Child abuse images are not. They involve children who cannot and would not consent and who are victims of a crime."_

_"In other words," Helen said. "He was a product of abuse, therefore, he was developed into becoming a killer."_

_"Something like that, yes I believe it so." Nikki replied. "I believe our killer earlier traumatic experience led to his unstable thinking. But his mind is unstable."_

_"This is shite Nikki," Helen said inhaling what felt like polluted air. "We need to dig deep and look through everything, old crimes, sex crimes…perhaps we can find a connection."_

_"It will be to no avail as I don't think the predator that committed these crimes against him was ever caught. And I believe it was someone he knew. A family member."_

_"As if the day couldn't get any crazier," Helen replied, breathing as the other members of her unit arrived at the scene. "Up here," she yelled out._

* * *

_**(At Nikki's Place)**_

"_Blood patterns indicate she was dumped here." Helen said. "But we will not know anything else until we get back from the lab on the duct tape." _

"_They will need to determine whether usable latent fingerprint lifts could be recovered from the adhesive side of duct tape that had been submerged in fresh or salt water. Acquiring latent prints from adhesive sides of tape can be an arduous task beginning with unbinding the tape." Nikki replied. "So it will take a while before we have anything, but I bet they will not get anything from it."_

"_Well here's hoping they made a mistake."_

_Nikki went into her kitchen before coming out with a wine bottle and two wine goblet. She handed one over to Helen who was sitting on the couch looking through the files. "Best to drink while analyzing these files."_

"_So right you are," Helen smiled taking the goblet from Nikki._

_Nikki poured the wine before sitting next to Helen. Then she took a zip from her goblet before saying, "Shall we start with the envelope address to me?"_

_Helen felt weary. She did not feel comfortable knowing what was in the envelope, considering it was address to Nikki. She wondered why it was addressed to her._

"_Listen, Helen, I know you are probably weary about this, but we need to find out why it was address to me." Nikki said, understanding Helen's apprehension._

"_It's just I worry," Helen said shyly. _

"_Nothing is going to happen to me as long as I have you," she replied trying to give Helen a warm smile._

"_Shall I then," she said. Then Nikki began to open the envelope and pulled out a single piece of paper. She looked up at Helen who looked on intently. "**First riddle: If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I? Second riddle: What has one eye but cannot see? Third riddle: What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years?**"_

"_What the sodding hell is shite all about?" Helen said confused at the riddles. How was this going to lead them to their killers she thought?_

"_You need to read between the lines Helen," Nikki said smiling. She always enjoyed riddles growing up and often she had mini treasure hunts with her parents. She felt as if she was in her element. She knew this would be an advantages to them._

"_Riddles is not a specialty of mine," Helen moaned. "But I am sure you will have this figure out before I drink my goblet dry." She smiled._

"_Let's start with the first riddle," Nikki said. "Read the words carefully Helen. Clear your mind and look at the words again…I know you can do this. The answer is quite simple."_

_Helen looked over at the words trying to digest them. "If you have me, you want to share me….if you share me you haven't got me….what am I?" She read them over and over again. Then it hit her. She knew what it meant. "The answer is '**secret**'" she said happily._

"_See, it wasn't that difficult," Nikki winked. "Did you want to try the second riddle?"_

"_It's okay Nikki," Helen laughed. "I think one riddle is enough for me brain."_

_Nikki smiled. "What has one eye but cannot see…if you think about it, you know it has to be an object. What object looks like an eye but cannot see?"_

"_I have no clue," Helen said, shaking her head and taking another zip from her goblet._

"_You see it's a needle. I mean the answer is a **needle**." Nikki said, amused. _

"_How the hell did you deduce a needle from that statement?" Helen said, not as a question but more as in disbelief that Nikki could be so brilliant. _

"_Every brain works differently," Nikki said tickled with the thought. "Mine just happens to work in overdrive."_

"_Bloody brilliant if you ask me, but I won't be complaining anytime soon."_

"_The last clue took me a few more seconds to digest," Nikki smiled. "What occurs once in every minute…twice in every moment…but never in a thousand years?" Nikki licked her lips. "What's important is the words 'minute' and 'moment'…the answer is the letter **M**."_

"_So what does **'secret, needle and the letter M**' all mean?" Helen questioned. She could not see the connection._

"_In truth, I do not know yet," Nikki replied. "But those words mean something and I'm guess when we look through the all the evidence that we have, we will find the answer to our next clue."_

"_I hate this shite," Helen spat. Why couldn't she pick a normal profession? A simple job with no headaches._

"_Good thing you have me," Nikki said cheerfully. "And I make excellent company."_

"_I am really glad I'm here Nikki, considering everything that has happen." She said not sure how Nikki would act. Yes, being with Nikki was difficult as she could not stop thinking about her, especially in her dreams. But she needed to deal with Sean first._

"_Listen Helen, can we just not mention what happened between us as I still haven't changed how I feel about you, but we're here to focus on work," she said flatly. "I just want us to be friends and I do know…I can't focus on that now. Or it will do my head in."_

"_I understand," Helen said looking down from the brown eyes that were looking at her with passion. It would be so easy to give in and allow herself to feel with Nikki. But in the end it wasn't right as long as she was still engaged to Sean. The thought depressed her but at least she was still breathing._


	22. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22**_

_As the girl lay dying from her stab wound, she grabbed a hold of his sleeve and insistently whispered: "__The angel… the angel…"__ He saw some sort of light in her eyes slowly extinguish, and he realised that she was no longer alive. He glanced around the room to see what she had been talking about. If there had been an angel inside, it was long gone…_

* * *

_Nikki sat by Monica's bedside. It had been two weeks since she was in a coma with no signs of improvement. She couldn't help feel responsible so she took it upon herself to move Monica into a private hospital where she could get the best care that money could buy. She didn't care how much it cost as Monica's health was the only thing that matter. As she sat down on a chair holding her Monica's hand she began to wonder about her life. Where she came from, what happened in her life that was so terrible that she ended up in the streets. She wondered why there was no one looking for her and why she was alone. She knew she was married at one point in her life and lived a respected life, but she wondered if she had any children. Why did she seem so alone? Was she too running from something or someone? She had a feeling Monica hid a lot of secrets in her heart. She wanted to ask her so many things but under the circumstance all she could do was watch over her and pray. She told herself that if Monica came out of her coma she would take care of her. Her place was big enough and she wasn't going to let her live in the streets ever again. As she sat there, holding on to the old woman's hand and caressing her hair, she noticed a lot of similarities between them. Perhaps it was her subconscious trying to hold on to something that wasn't there. But she couldn't shake a feeling that Monica came into her life for a reason. What that reason was she wasn't sure but she was going to do her best to find out. She knew she needed to talk to Helen and ask her a few things. She only hoped that Helen would agree with her._

* * *

"_Hello," Helen said, sounding rushed._

"_Sorry, is this a not a good time to talk?" She asked cautiously, as she could hear the irritation in Helen's voice._

"_Sorry," Helen said, feeling flushed. _

_She just had an argument with Simon Stubberfield who was not happy that Nikki was overshadowing the other detectives. She knew the old buffoon was referring to Jim bloody Fenner who she had a sneak suspicious was chirping displeasure in his ear. She told herself she would deal with that simple-minded Jim later. As for Simon, she told him that she needed him to back off and to trust her, or she was going to walk away from the case and that she was going over his head and get Chief Superintendent Neil Grayling involved if he didn't stop his complaining. They were at a standstill as she was no longer going to let Simon give her orders. She told Simon the only orders she was going to adhere were from Neil and if he didn't like it he could go and buddy up with the incompetent Jim Fenner. Simon walked away red faced realising he was not going to win the argument with her. It still made her blood boil with anger and she knew Jim was not going to like it._

"_I didn't mean to sound rushed," Helen replied, her voice calmer. "Just came back from seeing Simon and you could say we had a heated debate."_

"_Are you okay?" She asked concerned, as she knew they didn't get along._

"_I'm just feeling brilliant, bloody fantastic," Helen said smiling._

"_Care to explain?"_

"_That stuffed whale got what was coming to him," She laughed harshly._

"_Ah…okay." Nikki said confused._

"_I told the old fart that I was not going to take any more orders from him and that he can stick Jim's head up his arse."_

"_You told him that," She laughed. Helen had balls and she was glad that she finally told him what he needed to hear._

"_I must say," She smiled over the phone. "It felt quite invigorating telling him off. I won't get pushed by that man and he knows he needs me. Besides, Neil Grayling would be up his backside if I quit."_

"_Well I am proud of you," She said. "We must have drinks to celebrate your independence." She joked._

"_Funny, but don't cross me or you shall be next." Helen laughed._

"_Is that a promise?" She said raising her brow._

"_Only one way to find out." She replied. "So what rings you?" _

_She hesitated for a moment before saying, "Well, honestly, I need a favour from you."_

"_What kind of favour?" Helen replied._

"_I need you to look into Monica's background. She's a mystery that I need to solve." She stated._

_Helen frown, "Nikki, you know I cannot do that without her consent. I cannot give any resources to anything else except for the case we are currently work on."_

"_You know this is important to me, I just need to know who she really is. I took it upon myself to cut some of her hair so we could use it to profile her."_

"_Nikki, please do not ask this of me. This is not professional and you know we are short staffed and up to our eye balls with murder cases. I cannot justify using manpower on a whim for you." She said, knowing Nikki was noting going to be happy with her decision._

"_Why must you be so bloody difficult?" She spat feeling hurt that Helen would give her that excuse._

"_I am not being difficult Nikki," Helen defended. "I know this is important to you, but can you find another way to handle this?"_

_She felt annoyed that Helen would not help her. "So you won't change your mind?"_

"_You know I would help you if I could, but this is not the right time nor is it a right thing to do." She said._

"_Thanks for nothing," She said clearly irritated._

_Helen sighed. "Please don't me angry with me. I don't need this shite."_

"_I don't know what I feel right now," She said coldly. "Rejection is what I seem to get lately._

_Helen cringed at Nikki words. They felt cruel. She knew Nikki didn't mean to be harsh but under the circumstances, she could not blame Nikki if she wanted to stay clear of her. "I'm sorry if you feel that way. I'm sorry for everything." She said almost in a whisper. _

_Nikki bit back her words. She really didn't mean to be rude to Helen but she was feeling frustrated. "It's okay, I will find other way. Listen, I really need to go."_

"_Please don't hang up feeling irritated with me." Helen said passionately._

_She breathed before continuing, "Listen. I understand your stance and maybe I was expecting too much. I'm not mad at you, really. I was just frustrated with myself but I will get over it."_

"_You're not lying to me just to appease me?" Helen stated._

"_Would it change your mind if I was," She said, her voice calmer._

"_I think so," Helen said. "Would you mind if I come over and we could go out for a coffee."_

"_Sorry, I can't tonight," She replied_

_Helen felt rejected. Even though she saw Nikki the previous night, she couldn't help feel the need to spend more time with the dark hair beauty. She was avoiding Sean even though she knew she needed to talk to him. She didn't quite know what she was going to do, but she knew one thing, she could not marry Sean Parr._

"_I mean, I have something to do tonight, but if you like we can get together tomorrow night?" She said, sounding upbeat. She knew Helen felt disappointed, and although she liked spending time with her, she couldn't help but want more from her. It was hard._

"_Okay," Helen said in a low voice._

* * *

_Helen sat on her chair looking over her files. She couldn't concentrate on her work. She needed to do something. She picked up her mobile phone and started to dial._

"_Hello," the voice on the other line said._

"_Hello Sean." She said, tired._

"_Oh, hello Helen," He said sarcastically. Ever since the night that Helen came over to his place and had sex with him, he felt like she was avoiding him. In truth, he needed some time to process what he heard. He was still disgusted by the revelation that Helen, his fiancée, was having an affair with Nikki. How else could explain her calling out Nikki's name in ecstasy_

"_Listen, we need to talk, it's important." She said, her heart racing. She wasn't sure what she was going to say but she needed to see him to discuss their future and the fact that she was not in love with him._

"_Sorry, I can't see you tonight," He replied, feeling nervous. Did Helen want to break off their engagement? Was she trying to dump him for Nikki? His nerves became frayed and his blood started to boil just thinking about Helen fucking Nikki._

"_Okay, then what about the day after tomorrow?" She said, feeling like he was avoiding her._

"_I will be out of town," He lied. He needed time to think. He was in no way going to let Helen break off their engagement._

"_Please Sean, it's really important," She said defeated. "I really need to tell you something and I don't think it can wait. I would much prefer to tell you in person than over the phone."_

"_We will talk, I promise but you need to give me some time." He said, trying to sound convincing. "I will call you when I come back."_

"_Fine" She exclaimed. She was tired and maybe she was rushing into things. She needed more time to think about how she was going to handle him. She wondered if she would get cold feet._

"_I love you babe," He said, the words feeling false to Helen._

"_Call me when you come back, have a good trip." She said. He felt irritated that Helen did not tell him back that she loved him. He knew he was fighting for his life, his love and he needed to do something fast._

* * *

"_Okay, so tell me what you want exactly." He said with a smug look on his face._

"_I need you to take care of this. I don't care how you do it, but I want it done as soon as possible." He replied back, anger rising from his eyes._

"_Are you sure you want to go through this because once it's done there is no turning back." _

"_Yes," he said, feeling pleased with himself. "I don't care how much it is going to cost me but I want this taken care of."_

"_You do realise what you are getting yourself into," he said, walking towards his desk and taking out an envelope. _

"_I won't change my mind and I know you are man who takes care of business." He said, trying to sound in control._

_He laughed then lit up a fag before blowing smoke at his companion's face. "It will cost you big time and a favour in the future."_

"_Just get it done," he said, feeling better at his predicament. "I will give you all the details later."_

"_Can I ask you why?" He said, smoking as he leaned against his table, arms-crossed. He did not like his companion much but it was just business. After-all he was a business man._

"_The why isn't important," he replied realising what he was doing was wrong but he felt such hatred that it overshadowed common sense._

"_Amuse me then," he replied._

"_Listen, I respect what you do and I know you are a busy man, but I would prefer not to talk about this any longer. All that I want to know is that it will be done and nothing more."_

"_Once you wire me the money in my account," he said, blowing smoke. "I will let you know the date and time."_

"_Okay," he said. "Give me a day and I will have the money in your account."_

_He smiled, before handing him the file. "Consider it done."_

* * *

"_Something bothering you Nikki," Maxine said, feeling like Nikki was not her usual self._

"_Sorry," She said, realising she let her mind wander._

"_I can help" Maxine replied, getting up and positioning herself near Nikki._

"_Sorry, Maxine, but I really need you to sit down, can you do that for me?" She said in a neutral voice. She knew she wasn't being helpful to Maxine._

_Maxine smiled, making her way back to her chair. She sat down and looked into the brown eyes that were staring at her blankly. "Listen, Nikki. Clearly there is something bothering you and I know these session are meant to help me but I want to help you now."_

"_Why are you always so nice to me," She said, smiling. Why was Maxine so different with her? Maxine was still a murderer and she still was facing life in jail, but yet, she seemed like a typical fifteen-teen year old."_

"_Because your heart is big and you don't see me as a monster," Maxine smiled. "And we are connected in a way that both of us cannot explain."_

_Nikki grinned, realising the truth in her words. "I want your life to mean something."_

"_I know you do but that might not be possible," she said._

"_I know," She said feeling defeated. She was tired. The case with Helen was becoming emotional draining, in truth, being around Helen was becoming draining._

"_Now, tell me what is making you sad," Maxine said, leaning back on her chair as if she was the professional and Nikki was the patient. She smiled._

"_There's someone I care about but I don't know how to help. I mean I don't know anything about her. She's a mystery and I just feel like I'm at a dead-end." She said sighing._

_Maxine smiled then replied, "You seek answers but not in the conventional way. You need skeletons to reveal itself."_

"_Well I suppose something like that," Nikki grinned. "Although, I have never been able to uncover the skeletons in my closet."_

"_If you have DNA of this someone you care about I know someone who is very discreet and professional."_

_She looked up at Maxine. Was she serious? "This doesn't feel right, especially when you are my patient. I should not be asking."_

"_You know we are beyond that," Maxine said. "I trust him and he was the one who uncovered your sealed documents. He is the best. If you need answers he can find them."_

_She felt an excitement but she knew having Maxine involved was probably not ethical but she was desperate. "Why do I have this sick feeling I am going to regret this later?"_

"_Nonsense," Maxine said, smiling. "What you're feeling is perfectly normal. You are not used to being probed and being taken care of. I can help. I want to help."_

_"You are in my care. Nothing about this is normal." She shook her head wondering if she was going out of her mind. _

_"You know none of that is true," Maxine replied. "You're more passionate and empathetic than most of these fools that work in your profession. You're not afraid to spoil your hands and take risk. You're perceptive and that quality makes you an amazing individual."_

_"Is that the genius in you speaking," She laughed. The connection she had with Maxine was real. This she knew was true. But why was the troubling part. _

_"I'm far wise beyond my years," Maxine sneered. She loved her sessions with Nikki. "My mental superiority cannot be measured._

"_Thanks," Nikki smiled. "Shall we discuss you now?"_

"_Of course," Maxine said. "The day I killed my family."_

* * *

_Her retaliation was silenced by a prompt knock on the door. The door swung open and Dominic came in, his smile dropped from his face as if he saw a ghost. "You called, Helen? Was there something you needed?" He turned to Helen and flashed an effortlessly forced smile. He stood awaiting instruction from Helen, silently occupying the open space of the doorway. _

_Striding silently towards him, she glanced out the tall windows to his right, attempting to make a prompt assessment of the various calamities that had befallen so far that day. Releasing an exasperated sigh, "I want you to look through these files and go through them. This is top secret. I don't want anyone else in this department to know what you are doing."_

"_Why the hush hush," He said wondering why Helen looked so serious._

"_Listen, I need you to trust me for the moment. I can't tell you why at the moment but you're the only one I trust here, besides Nikki." She said passionately._

"_What's going on Helen?" He said. "Does this have someone to do with the current case?"_

"_Please Dominic," She said. "Can you do this for me? I'm asking in strict confidence."_

"_Okay," He replied before nodding his head towards Nikki. "What do you think Nikki?" He asked not knowing what he was asking._

"_Just read the notes," she replied calmly._

_As he read over the files, note his face turned cold. He felt his blood turn and he mouth get dry. "Is this some sick perversion or did I just come out from a movie theatre?"_

"_Perversion is a concept describing those types of human behavior that deviate from that which is understood to be orthodox or normal. Although it can refer to a variety of forms of deviation, it is most often used to describe sexual behaviors that are considered particularly abnormal, repulsive or obsessive. It is often considered derogatory and in psychological literature the term paraphilia has been used as a replacement, though this term is controversial, and "deviation" is now used instead by others." Nikki stated._

"_I feel like we are getting nowhere," Helen cried out._

"_Let's examined the factors, conditions, and motivations that might lead someone to become a serial killer." Nikki replied._

"_How is this supposed to help us find our killers," He said, wondering why Helen sounded urgent calling him to her office._

"_Our killer has a Jekyll and Hyde personality," She responded. "I believe the only way to catch our killers is to think like them. Obvious, they are playing games with us. But all games have a purpose and with every clue, there is a purpose to the 'why' but we need to think outside the box."_

"_Dominic," Helen turned to him. "Sit down," she said her tone turning serious. "Listen, we think our killer works somewhere in the police department. A corrupt police."_

_Dominic faced turned stony. "You are joking, right? I mean, you cannot be serious. You think the killer is someone like us."_

"_No, not like us," She said, knowing she could trust Dominic. "We are dealing with a serial killer who is very clever and blends easily."_

"_It's actually not uncommon that our killer has chosen a professional that he can manipulate." Nikki said._

"_You're serious. You know what this means?" He said, feeling a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach._

"_Dominic, we are telling you in strict confidence as you know how important this information is and no one can know we suspect that our killer might be in our mist." Helen said, looking at him with a serious expression. He knew the investigation just became a little more dangerous. _

"_Where do we go from here?" He asked._

_Both Helen and Nikki looked at each other. "We are still trying to fit the pieces together, but I need you to help get Fenner off my back. Send him on wild goose chase. He would never expect it coming from you."_

"_You know he is not going to like it," He said, grinning knowing the Jim would become livid if he ever found out he was being played a fool. But she understood why Helen would want him out of the picture for a while._

"_Bloody Fenner. With that idiot running around, it's a wonder I haven't shot him in mental defence. That buffoon is going to get someone killed and I rather have him occupied doing useless things than shooting off his mouth and acting like a royal shit."_

"_You could hand-cuff him and throw him into a river. I'm sure no one will miss that clown." Nikki's obnoxiously voice replied, moving her gaze toward Helen who was giving her look. "What, I'm only saying," she said, smiling and tilting her head, as she ran her fingers through her hair. "I must give you credit for being persistent and calm," she mumbled lowly. _

_Clearing her throat Helen spoke, "Nikki, I hate playing games; don't you find this to be becoming quite tiresome? What are we missing? What is it that we don't see? We need to go through everything again."_

"_I agree Helen." She replied. "Why don't we all come back to my place tonight? Let's comb through all the evidence, notes, and clues. I am confident that everything we have will lead us to our killers. I believe that our killer is already in our system."_

_She sighed. She knew Nikki was right. She was hoping that she would be alone with Nikki tonight, so she felt a little pang of jealousy to share her time with Dominic. She knew it was a silly thought but she wasn't sure what she expected. "Dominic, remember, nothing leaves this room. I stress the importance of secrecy. You mustn't repeat a word."_

"_You can trust me Helen." He said, trying to reassure Helen._

"_Let's meet up say at 8:00pm," Nikki said. "This will probably be a long night, so bring your 'A' game." She said, grinning._

"_You better have the best coffee in stock then," Helen smiled, giving Nikki a sly grin. _

"_Better, I have all the pills you need to keep yourself from falling asleep," She said giving Helen a wink._

_Dominic looked at Nikki and Helen and noticed how comfortable they acted in front of each other. He didn't realise how close they had become but then he knew_

_Nikki was charming. And in truth, Helen did seem happier when Nikki was around. Perhaps Nikki's friendship was something that Helen needed. He smiled inwardly knowing Helen was someone who was didn't trust many. She looked different. She looked relaxed and wondered if getting married was the reason but she barely ever talked about Sean. In truth he was jealous of Sean as he had a big crush on Helen when they first worked together. But he knew they were only to be friends and he was glad that Nikki was helping them even though in the beginning he didn't trust her insights were refreshing. _

* * *

"_I'm not happy with our marriage," Yvonne said. When she accidentally stumbled across Charlie's file she could not believe her eyes and she felt her heart constrict with anger and hate._

"_Well, that's obvious by your tone of voice." He replied not bating an eyes. He knew this day was long coming. He also knew judging by his wife cold demeanour she probably found his file. He remembered locking the door but he found it open and wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him._

"_I haven't been happy for a very long time and you know that I know you have been cheating on me for a long time and I have tolerated it." She said. "What I want to talk about is what I saw in that file."_

"_Yes, I always wondered why you tolerated it," he sneered. "And I must say you are much too nosy for your own good. You just couldn't leave things as they were."_

"_What the hell does that mean?" She replied. "I think you know where I am going with this. I cannot believe you would take a hit like that and expect me to not feel a damn thing. You are crossing a personal line that I will not tolerate. Damn Charlie do you realise what you are doing?"_

"_Oh I think you know exactly what it means my dear wife." He replied coldly. "You must think I am stupid. Since when did I need your permission to do business?"_

"_If you have something to say then out with it." She said, arms crossed. "Don't try deflect. I know what you are trying to do. I know you better than anyone so don't belittle me." _

"_Are you sure," he said with a coy expression. "I don't think you can handle the truth."_

"_Try me. Stop playing mind games. This is serious." She said with a stern look on her face._

"_I know you never really loved me even when you agreed to marry me. I know the only reason why we got married was because I knocked you up."_

"_Not's not true." She yelled at him angrily. _

"_Isn't it. Sure I know you cared deeply for me at one point in our marriage, but you were never truly in love with me." He said coldly. He did love Yvonne and knew his love for her was never going to be enough. _

_She knew that he was right. She loved him but it wasn't the kind of love you felt passionate about and you would die for. She didn't mean to but she could never fully let go. The regrets were weighing on her and she realised that she needed to change. _

"_Sure, our marriage was based on mutual respect and companionship but your heart always belonged to another." He said, lighting a fag before sitting down on his chair._

_"Where are you going with this?"_

"_You see my dear wife, I did love you and I suppose you learned to love me as well, we stayed together all these years, but you were never truly in love with me and I suppose it worked for us."_

"_Is that what you think?" She spat._

"_What you don't realise, and it shocked me at first, but one day I stumbled across some letters and I have to say it made for a good read. I never mentioned anything to you." He said, remembering the day he knew Yvonne loved someone else. _"_I know you sacrificed your heart to be with me and raise our children. All this time you have been lusting over someone."_

"_Sod you." Yvonne said, realising he knew too much. She felt her blood boil and at the moment she wanted to reach out and strangle her husband._

"_Afraid, I am telling the truth. You can lie to yourself but don't even try to lie to me." He said in a flippant way._

"_Get it with it then. Stop your games as I know you are only toying with me looking for a reaction." She said, trying to keep a stone face. "We are here to talk about the hit on Nikki. Don't change the subject."_

_He ignored Yvonne and continued._ "_I wondered what this person would say if they knew how you really felt."_

"_Sod you, don't you even dare." She gave his a steely cold stare. _"_You planned to kill Nikki. I cannot forgive you for that. You know she is a friend of mine and yet you still took on the hit. You sodding bastard."_

"_It was just business my dear. I don't give a rats arse who hires me or why." He replied standing up and grabbing Yvonne's arm. He squeezed it tightly._

_She stared into Charlie's eyes. Even though he was hurting her she did not move. She was not going to show any fear towards him._ "_Nikki is my friend." She yelled at him, almost spitting on his face. "Don't bother threatening me because I will end you. I swear it Charlie."_

"_Why should that matter to me? You knew who I was when you married me." He released her arm and laughed. _

"_I don't give a damn what you do but when it involves one of my friends then you're crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed." She said. "Don't even try or I will drag you down with me and you know I am crazy enough to do it. I don't care for my welfare so you better think before you speak."_

"_Don't threaten me bitch. Make me mad enough and I will kill your precious Karen." He exploded, raising his voice._

"_What?" She said frozen for a moment. She wanted to lunge and strangle Charlie. She could even picture her hands over his neck. Extreme hate crossed her eyes and she clinched her fist._

"_You heard. I know its Karen that you are in love with. I know it's her that you have been pining for all these years. It must've been hard being so close to her and not being able to touch her. Feel her. Caress her and shag her."_

"_I will kill you myself if you lay a finger on her. Don't push my buttons. You keep her out of this. This is between me and you and our children." She screamed grabbing the nearest object and throwing it at him._

_"Nice try," He sneered._ "_Just because you gave birth to my children doesn't mean you have the right to talk to me like that."_

"_I'm no fool Charlie. I've done my homework on you. You think being married to you I didn't find out all your dirty little secrets. Don't cross me or you won't live to regret it."_

"_You wouldn't dare." He said. He knew the one person that could drag him to hell was Yvonne. He didn't need the hassle and it wasn't like he gave a tosser about the person who hired him to kill Nikki. _

"_Try me," She said in defiance. "You can keep on doing what you have been doing all this time. I want a divorce. I don't want the kids involved in our ugly affair. I don't want anything from you. Except for this house. You can have everything else. You leave my friends alone. I'm just a phone call away from bringing you down."_

"_You drive a hard bargain. But I knew you were a sensible woman. That is why I married you." He said laughing harshly. He knew he would have to call back the weasel and explain to him that the hit was off. Yet at the same time, he didn't care. He had bigger fish to fry. "You know my word is golden."_

"_Fuck off." She pushed him away from her. "You are a sodding bastard. I can't believe I stayed married to your sorry arse for so long. Right now I don't want to see your face. I will talk to my lawyer and I am sure you will be satisfied with your share. All I want is for you to leave my friends alone. Do you understand?"_

_"Of course." He sat back down on his chair, blowing smoke. It was time for him to move on._ "_Don't you want to know who hired me as a hit-man to kill Nikki?" He said._

_"Well out with it then."_

"_Sean Parr. That weasel."_

"_I will kill that sodding bastard myself." Yvonne said feeling irritated. She couldn't believe that Sean would stoop so low as to hire someone to kill Nikki. She wondered if he knew about Nikki and Helen's growing feelings. She wondered if she should tell Nikki and Helen. All she knew was that she had to stop Sean. Someone needed to bring that bastard down._

"_Just like you," he laughed. "I knew there was a reason I married you. I am going to miss your stubborn ways."_

_"Shut the fuck up," Yvonne said, not caring for his words. She wondered if Charlie would keep his promise or would he expose her feelings to Karen. She needed to think fast before her world crumbled. Everything was shite._


	23. Chapter 23

_**Okay, so it's been challenging writing this chapter as I had a little writers block. I will say that the next couple of chapters will lead to some revelation which might be shocking or not. So to those who have remained reading my story, I sincerely hope I don't disappoint. Just a hint, Monica's identity will come to pass...and everything is not as it seems. Enjoy the read.**_

_**Chapter 23**_

"_Did you know a __serial killer__ is __defined__ as someone who commits more than three murders over a period that spans more than one month? For the most part, __serial killers__ commit murder for some sort of psychological benefit." Nikki stated giving Dominic a knowing look._

"_I know you are super smart but we mere mortal souls can get along just fine with our detective knowledge." Dominic said, realising that Nikki was probably just pulling his chain, although, he had to admit she sure knew more about serial killers and criminology than anyone he knew. He remembered Helen telling him that she read a lot but something did not add up. He wondered if Nikki actually studied criminology in school as she seemed too knowledgeable for your average person. Though he conceded that Nikki was definitely not your average nobody._

"_I reckon you are well equipped and a very smart Detective Inspector but," she said, giving him a slight grin._

"_Defining a serial killer is complicated and not exact science," Helen said, breaking the awkward tension between Dominic and Nikki. Although, she was quite amused watching Nikki toy with Dominic psyche. And trying to match Nikki's endless knowledge was sure to drain unsuspecting native Dominic._

"_You are quite right Helen. __As more research must be devoted to serial murders." Nikki said, as she sat down on her comfy couch, giving Helen a wink. _

"_Although this definition was established in the United States, the crime is not formally recognized in any legal code." Dominic replied trying to sound convincing in his words._

_Nikki smiled, as she knew Dominic was trying to impress her but she did not think any less of him. He was refreshing and he worked well under Helen's guidance not like the slimy fool named Jim Fenner. "__There has been considerable debate among criminologists about the proper definition of serial murder. __That d__efinition has been faulted but it does not mean that it has any less value.__"_

"_I remember reading about the notorious serial murderer Harold Shipman, a British physician who killed at least 215 people from 1973 to 1998." Dominic said._

"_Criminologists have distinguished between classic serial murder, which usually involves stalking and is often sexually motivated. Although, most lack an obvious rational motive. Serial murderers are assumed to kill for motives such as sexual compulsion. It is thought to give the murderer a feeling of power—which may or may not be sexual in nature—over their victims, partly because they are perceived as personifications of evil."_

"_Yes, but personifications of evil is exactly what they are." Dominic said shaking his head. _

"_Do you think a serial killers are born?" Nikki asked curious._

_Dominic thought about it for a moment. "I really don't know the answer to that question but I suspect there are many factors that lead them to kill another human being. But science would suggest serial killers might be born with the gene so I guess I am incline to swing that way."_

"_I tend to think __serial killers__ are __made__, not __born__. They may very well be __born__ psychopaths, or with a susceptibility in that area, in early childhood when they are most vulnerable and learning foundations like empathy, experiencing kindness and cruelty." _

"_A large distinction that separates serial killers from other murderers are their motives to kill." Dominic replied as Helen watched Nikki and Dominic debate. A small smile formed on her mouth as she watched Nikki. She could not help but watch her lips and felt her heart skip a beat. Instead of giving her insight she watched Nikki explained the ins and outs of serial killers. _

"_But what does this have to do with our killers?" Dominic exclaimed. "Does it make a difference if they were born or were a product."_

"_Psycho-killers are not regular murderers. They are only driven by instinct and a desire to kill. Their sexual desires and the need to fulfill their arousing fantasies often drives these individual to murder." Nikki explained. She stretched her legs and leaned back against the couch before speaking again, "Would you like something to drink?"_

"_I am fine right now, but please continue your thoughts," he wanted to hear Nikki's insights as he knew he could learn valuable information if nothing else._

"_Many of them are exceptionally skillful so much so that they are beyond suspicions and thus are difficult to apprehend. Incorrect is the assumption that serial killers walk around carrying a chain saw like in movies. These images are embedded into our minds that these are the characteristics of a murderer when in reality they are masters at disguising their emotions and blend into society. You could say they are magicians of death." Nikki continued saying. "Not to say that the aftermath of serial killers is trivial but the real controversy among theorists lies on how and why serial killers take the step from fantasy to reality. We are all made up of tiny individual genes that make up our personality traits defining who and what we are."_

"_This is the exact reasons why they are so hard to pinpoint and catch." Helen finally spoke causing Nikki and Dominic to look up. She smiled as she realised she had been quietly watching the scene unfold._

"_We are all born with a different genetic make-up but many argue that differences in DNA do not create a psycho-killer. The main focus of many criminologists and psychologists are the origins and the surroundings of these killers childhood. I must point out that a nature-nurture dichotomy is clearly untenable, incorrect, and meaningless. This subject has to be discussed in terms of the continuous and complex interactions between an organism and its environment, and the relevant contributions of both sets of variables in determining the behavior of the organism."_

"_Okay, clearly you present a good argument but wouldn't that be an easy explanation?" Dominic said. "We could say environment might play a part but you would have to concede that DNA plays a huge part in defining serial killers or psycho-killers."_

_Nikki shook her head and rolled her eyes. Dominic could be so naïve but it couldn't be helped. "Dominic by boy, there are things you couldn't fathom. There are no monsters within. These are not characteristics of a serial killer who scientists say are born with this gene of aggressiveness."_

"_How can you be so sure?" He asked curious to Nikki's difference of option._

"_Criminologists and social behavioral psychologists argue that childhood experiences during the early stages of life can cause a child to seek comfort through acts of violence such as killing small animals."_

"_But doesn't your hypothesis suggest they are more likely to be born a killer?" Dominic argued._

"_It's true that studies have shown those who were animal abusers were five times more likely to commit acts of violence. The study showed that serial killers in their childhood resort to killing animals because they felt powerless against those who had control over them. They resorted to killing small animals in which they could exert their dominance and power when they couldn't in their own lives." Nikki replied. She understood the many debates in this topic and she found herself arguing with many of her colleagues how psycho-killers are designed. "It certainly represents a turning point. These killers begin to dive into their self- indulgences and are unable to understand how basic empathy that me or you would naturally feel."_

"_But many of these crimes are premeditated and conceived in their twisted minds. It's easy to perceive them as superficial individuals with no remorse or empathy." Dominic stated, sounding quite observed and Nikki noticed. She knew there was a reason she trusted Dominic and why she thought having him on Helen's department will prove to be a worthy adversary and not just pedestrian as she found most of the DI she came upon._

"_Serial killers find comfort in their fantasies and dreams that take them into a realm that only they can control. Understanding how and why serial killers commit such horrific crimes is an important step to stopping the homicidal rampages these psycho-killers go on." Nikki stated._

"_So what you are saying in simple terms, the complex nature of a serial killers is not so easy defined." Dominic stated. "So Scientists have it all wrong?"_

"_Listen, while Scientists believed to be hard evidence, that genetics is the key role in determining who becomes a serial killer unlike criminologists and psychologists who argue that large events such as abuse and abandonment create the foundation in which serial killers grow into sadistic murders. Both arguments are strongly proved but neither are individually the answer to why serial killers exist. Truthfully, I believe that both genetics and cultural upbringings play a part. Nature does not choose what traits we are born with but at the same time these traits cannot be exposed without a mechanism that triggers these individuals to commit these horrific crimes." Nikki said._

"__Is this proof evil killers are born not made? Psychopaths' brains 'lack basic wiring that triggers empathy and compassion." Helen responded.__

_"Don't blame Hannibal Lecter. He can't help being a callous, murdering monster." Nikki laughed._

"_What we need is a Clarice Starling," Helen replied, smoldering a look that amused Nikki. "But then why need a fictional character when we have the real thing in you."_

"_Is that a complement my dear Helen?" Nikki grinned, her eyes fixed on Helen. She had engrossed herself in a debate, realising the look in Helen's eyes bore a reflection of longing. She told herself she would ask Helen to stay over after they are done with Dominic but then was it the right thing to do. She again found herself conflicted with wanted to feel Helen, yet she did not want to be played with as Helen was still confused and giving her mixed signals._

"_It could be," she said in a low voice before realising Dominic's presence and quickly changed her demeanor which didn't go unnoticed. Dominic grinned, wondering why he felt something in the air between Helen and Nikki. He wasn't quite certain, but he thought he seen flirtation between the two women._

"_I must confess to you, I'm giving serious thought…to eating your wife," Nikki said, grinning as she quoted the character Hannibal Lester._

"_I must've watched that movie so many times," Helen confessed, smiling. _

"_The first principles. Simplicity. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, these killers we seek?" Nikki asked._

_"He kills young girls..." Dominic replied._

"_No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing they do? What needs does it serve by killing?" Nikki asked Dominic._

"_Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations," Dominic responded, not certain what Nikki was trying to get at._

"Why does he use religion?_ That does this represent? And how do we begin to unveil the darkness in this heart, Dominic?" Nikki said._ _  
_

_"__No. We just... "_ _  
_

_"__No. We begin by peeling the layers, slowly. We must think like a killer. Ask ourselves what motivates us Dominic? Who wicked the soul then took the innocent and bleed for him?" Dominic forehead wrinkled as he thought about what Nikki was saying. "Look for severe childhood disturbances associated with violence. Our killer wasn't born a criminal, Dominic. He was made one through years of systematic abuse. Our killer hates his own identity, you see, and he thinks that makes him impure and he needs to cleanse his system by killing those he perceive sinful. But his pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying."_

_"So what you are saying, he hates the very thing inside that he projects towards these young victims. He uses religion to purify the sins within and the only true word is God." Dominic said._

"_We catch these killers by getting into their heads, but you also let them into your own." Nikki said._

"_But that is a dangerous thing to do," Helen said concerned._

"_We must not be afraid to do what is necessary," Nikki smiled, trying to reassure Helen. "I believe this is the only way we are going to catch them."_

"_I don't like what you are suggesting," Helen said, with a stern look._

"_No, Helen," Dominic interjected. "I think Nikki is right. If we are to stop these killings we need to put ourselves out there and get into their heads."_

_Nikki sensing Helen's obvious concern decided to get Dominic attention. "Basically Dominic, psychopaths displayed significantly less activity in key areas of the brain including the amygdala, an almond-shaped bundle of neurons which plays an important role in processing emotions like fear, anger and pleasure. The stunted response observed in the amygdala and in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex is consistent with previous studies of psychopathy," Nikki said. "Conversely, more activity was seen in the striatum and insula regions. The high activity recorded in the insula region surprised the scientists, as the area is central to emotion."_

"_Wow, there Nikki." Dominic replied. Nikki was speaking in terms which he had no clue about. _

"_Sorry, I guess I got carried away," she smiled back. "Examining the neural response of individuals with psychopathy is an effective probe into the neural processes underlying affective and empathy deficits in psychopathy." She chuckled. "But enough about my rabbling. Shall we discuss what we are going to do?"_

"_Nikki, please, and I mean no disrespect to you or any..." Dominic began to say before being cut off by Nikki._

"_You need to have an open mind otherwise we are no better than they are." Helen nodded towards Nikki who looked calm and she felt a sudden need to hold Nikki. Yet she needed to remain focus and keep the thoughts of Nikki for another time. _

_The sadistic killings could not keep Nikki's heart from being quiet, furthering her rage, natter on as though speaking in a consultative, even avuncular tone. She even criticized herself saying, changing topic Nikki said, "What I find frustrating is why me? Why did they send the book, the note, clues to me? What part do I play in their twisted game?"_

_For a heated moment, Helen felt a sick foreboding that did not sit well in the pit of her stomach. Why did they choose Nikki? Was Nikki in some way involved in their twisted plot and did she have to worry for Nikki's safety? The thought of something happening to Nikki was tugging at her heart._

"_Okay, Nikki, what have we learned so far?" Dominic said turning his attention towards Nikki. When he first entered Nikki's house he was flabbergasted as he did not realise that Nikki was made of money. He knew little about her life and only what Helen has told him, but seeing where she lived and the things she collected he knew he would spend a lifetime earning a small fraction of what Nikki had. He felt a little uncomfortable being in Nikki's place as it seemed an intimate setting of a woman._

"_Care for a refill," Nikki said pointing towards Dominic empty goblet. "If you like you can have a tour of my wine collection. Don't be afraid to pick one."_

_Dominic protested while trying to get comfortable, which was now difficult having Nikki and Helen so close. He found himself rattling on about nothing. "I don't know how we are going to keep Jim snout from poking where it not ought to."_

"_Friggin' nutter he is," Helen hollered causing Nikki and Dominic to chuckle. "Well, it ain't a stretch for that weasel trying to sniff my backside at every chance he gets."_

"_You should connect one of the clamps to his foot, then the other one to his scrotum, with about equal delicacy." Nikki made the wave in the regal fashion. __ "__Then, turn on the current, sending that weasel reeling: I am certain he shall make those monosyllabic noise exhaling. I would pay money to see that."_

"_Should you be saying that in my presence?" Dominic said, raised a brow and giving Nikki an uncertain look. "Something tells me your acceptance of Jim Fenner as a DI is a hoax?"_

_Nikki now cried, coughed out between attempted laughs. "I'd have his lungs fill, die of pneumonia and choke on his own vomit if it would make him disappear. It's less alarmed taking in Jim's screaming eyes. The iron will became as weak, as pliable, as his false heart."_

_"Listen, Dom, we trust only you. But you need to be willing to keep your emotions at bay and if it means misleading that buffoon then are you capable of handling this task?" She slapped Dominic on the head. "Not another word. Got it?" Helen said._

_Dominic nodded appreciatively. "Yes, Helen. Completely understand, yes." He kept nodding as though he had some kind of neural problem, the act of nodding forcing himself to stay conscious, on his feet. "I understand what you are asking and you can count me in. I just want to do my part and help catch these killers." He smiled weakly. "But I appreciated you guys putting your trust in me and I promise to not disappoint."_

"_I knew we could trust you," Helen replied. "Now let's get on with things."_

* * *

_As the veil of sleep rose, the event of the previous days started to unravel his nerves. Having witness the chaos of his mind he started to panic but as quickly as the panic arose it faded like a whisper and calm replaced anxiety. Stifling a yawn, he rolled out of bed, desperate to shower. He caught a sight of himself in the mirror on the way to the loo. His eyes revealed sleepless nights. As he glanced up at the clock, he needed to put this episode behind him and focus on what was important. There was still much too do and he couldn't afford his mind to behave chaotic. He needed to remain in control. When it comes to nature and nurture, he chooses neither. We are built from a DNA blueprint and born into a world or scenario and circumstance we don't control. God is beyond measure in wanton malice, and matchless in his irony. Those were the thoughts running through his mind. His own never bothered him except for the inconvenience of being born, but they all lacked perspective. It was apparent to him that his father, Deputy Chief Constable played a part in his value system. He though his success as a Sergeant __would please him because he could imagine his father being pleased. But now, alas, all he had become was a bad odour with the force. He could not even rank higher and was placed on administrated leave. He imagined his father being shamed by his disgrace? A sorry, petty end of a promising career? What was worst about this humiliation, is how his failure will reflect on his father's distinguish career? He imagined sitting in a dark basement room bent over papers and computer screens. _

_Yet right now all he could feel is a stab of hunger for her and find nourishment in the very sight of her? But would she see through the bars of his plight and ache for him? You see, the brain itself feels no pain he told himself._

"_The ones who've truly harmed you. What if I made them scream apologies? Yet he heard her voice speak clearly,_

"_But it was you who harmed me." _

"_No, that's a lie. I could never harm you as I loved you more than life but you couldn't stay innocent. Why did you sway from me? If only you remained…I could have saved your soul."_

"_But it was you who truly killed me…maybe not by the sword but by revelation...in the end it was you that doomed me to hell."_

_He closed his eyes, trying to forget the memories as rage built inside his soul. He needed another release, he needed another victim. "I'm doing this all for you...someday you will understand and love me again." He said as the voices in his dead disappeared._

* * *

_"You need a ride home Helen," Dominic asked putting on his jacket._

_"It's alright," she responded not ready to leave Nikki's place. "I need to go over a few things with Nikki before I head home. I will see you tomorrow okay."_

_Dominic looked at Helen and felt as if she was stalling. But why? There again he felt as if something odd was between Helen and Nikki that he couldn't quite grasp the understanding. Did Helen feel some sort of attraction for Nikki he asked himself? He knew he was probably being irrational as Helen was engaged and he didn't thing she was capable but still he couldn't shake that feeling like there was more to Nikki and Helen's relationship. "Okay then, I shall see you later." He turned his attention towards Nikki who was smiling as if she could read his mind. "Nikki, it was a pleasure coming to your place and I must say I drank too much of your expensive wine."_

_"Don't give a second thought," Nikki said walking over and giving Dominic a hug. He was surprised by her action but thought nothing of it._

_"Then I shall leave you two to sort things out," he said before closing the door behind him._

_Both Helen and Nikki looked at each other before Nikki commented, "I do believe Dominic might sense something is not right between us."_

_Helen looked at Nikki with curiosity. "I don't understand what you are implying."_

_Nikki laughed. "Helen, please tell me you didn't sense his awkwardness between us. I suspect he might question the extend of our friendship."_

_"Why would you believe that?" Helen responded, feeling slightly alarmed._

_"Oh relax," Nikki replied, shaking her head. "Are you feeling embarrassed if Dominic knew our attraction?"_

_Helen was quiet for a moment before responding, "Personally, I would rather not discuss whether or not Dominic might be clued in."_

_"Fine, have it your way." Nikki said, before walking away to get herself a drink. "Are to planning to join me by the fireplace to discuss matters of the heart or are you just going to stand there idle." Nikki knew she would get a response from Helen._

_"You winding me up right?" Helen said, feeling warm as if she was inside the fireplace. What she wanted was to refrain from wanting Nikki to kiss her but that was proving to be difficult._

_"Now why would I do a thing like that?" Nikki shrugged her shoulders going into the kitchen to get wine and a couple of clean goblets. When she came back she found Helen curled up on the couch watching the roaring fire dance. She gave Helen a goblet._

_"Thanks,"_

_"I love sitting comfy on my couch with a good read and a goblet in my hand, listening to the crackling of the fire." Nikki stated, looking at Helen who seemed relaxed. Her face seemed a little flushed. "Of course, snuggling up to a warm body is much better."_

_Helen smiled at Nikki's obvious flirtation but did not fight it. She knew she hurt Nikki and they were trying to be civilized without being overly emotional. "Are you planning to fill my goblet or are you going to stand there."_

_"Are we not bossy, but I do enjoy you taking charge." Nikki said, cozying up next to Helen. She looked at Helen who seemed a little nervous. "Helen, why did you stay behind?"_

_"What do you mean?" She said trying to avoid Nikki's eyes._

_"You're beautiful when blushing," Nikki stated, but not taking her eyes off Helen who was looking away. "Is that bad?"_

_Helen finally turned her head to meet Nikki's eyes which were glowing by the firelight. "No," she whispered. _

_"You didn't answer my question," Nikki insisted._

_"I didn't want to leave," Helen replied, fidgeting with her hair. In truth, she just wanted to spend time alone with Nikki._

_"Elaborate."_

_"I know you are enjoying this," Helen stated, giving Nikki a slight push._

_"I might but I will never confess," Nikki said, giving Helen a warm smile. She wanted so badly to take Helen's hand and lead her to her bedroom but she knew it was something that she had no control over. She told herself was wasn't going to let Helen twist her emotions but that's exactly where she found herself again, realising that pretending all was okay wasn't going to be enough to control what she felt._

_"Do you know what you are doing to me?" Helen said shyly._

_"Tell me anyway," Nikki said, breathing on Helen which made her spine turn to jelly._

_"You know I care about you," Helen said, trying to find the right words. "And you know I am attracted to you…and you know I am in love with you,"_

_Nikki simply nodded her head realising Helen was being truthful and honest. She didn't want to expect anything but it was hard when Helen was so close to her._

_"But you also know I am engaged to Sean and everything is messed up," Helen responded with a calm tone in her voice. "The thing is Nikki, and I know I should not want but I can't help but want to be in your presence."_

_"I know how you are feeling," Nikki said, rubbing Helen's arms. She had to refrain from kissing Helen but that wasn't going to solve anything. All she could do was be there for Helen and hope that she chooses her over Sean._

_Helen looked deep into Nikki brown eyes. "You are so beautiful Nikki." Helen said, running her fingers over Nikki's face. The warm feeling made Nikki close her eyes. "I'm so confused and you make me feel so many things I never thought possible, but it should be all wrong," Helen said sighing. "So tell me why when I am with you everything feels so right?"_

_Nikki opened her eyes to see Helen looking at her intently. "It's because you are in love with me."_

_Helen smiled and then turned her head towards the fireplace, again watching the flames flicker. She felt as if she was one of the embers dancing. She took a deep breath and turned towards Nikki. "Would it be wrong if you hold me?"_

_"It would be wrong if I didn't," Nikki stated, as she pulled Helen into an embrace. Both women feeling a fire burning in their souls. Nikki held onto Helen as if she was holding on for dear life. She knew that she would eventually have to let Helen go but tonight she just allowed herself to feel the closeness. Helen was giving her a little something and that would be enough for the moment. _

_"I am really glad to be here," Helen responded enjoying the embrace and feeling the sensation it gave her. _

_"So am I," Nikki said, closing her eyes once more as both women remained for a long time in an embrace until they both quietly feel asleep in each other's arms._

* * *

_Yvonne picked up the phone and at first hesitated, then dialed the numbers._

_"Hello," the voice on the other line said._

_"It's me Yvonne,"_

_"Are you okay," Karen asked. "You sound stressful."_

_"Not really," she said feeling sick to her stomach. "Listen, I need to talk to you. Are you available tomorrow?"_

_"Of course. I'm always available for you." Karen said. "Is there something wrong?"_

_Yvonne sighed before responding, "You could say that. I need your advice. But not over the phone." Yvonne knew she needed to talk to Karen about the hit on Nikki. She knew she needed to do something but wasn't quite sure if she should tell Nikki and all hell would break loose but she couldn't stand idle as she knew Sean would be desperate for an alternative._

_"Should I be worried?" Karen said wondering what advice Yvonne needed._

_"I will tell you everything when I see you. I am sorry but that's all I can say right now. You need to trust me." Yvonne said passionately._

_"Okay, I shall see you soon." Karen hung up her phone wondering why Yvonne sounded as if she was preparing to say goodbye. The though made her sad but maybe she was reading into things. The only thing she could do was wait until she saw Yvonne._


	24. Chapter 24

_**Been a while since I last unloaded but I finally managed to finish this chapter as I started writing it last week. I won't lie it's been difficult but I still enjoy writing this story so I hope so far everyone who has read my story is liking where I am go with it. The next couple of chapters will be all about revelations...shocking it might be as we come close to finding out about Monica's background and Nikki and Helen's relationship becomes more intensive and crazy. Again, feedback is appreciated and everyone have a wonderful Mother's Day. Cheers and be safe.**_

_**Chapter 24**_

"_Thanks for meeting up with me in a short notice. I do appreciate your help?" Nikki said, shaking Stoney Phillips hand._

"_Think nothing of it." He said smiling. _

"_I was quite hesitate at first, but I had a little encouragement from Maxine," Nikki replied, trying to make light conversation._

"_You sounded serious and any friend of Maxine is a friend of mine." He said, gesturing Nikki to an empty chair. "Please have a sit."_

_Nikki made her way to the chair and sat down, taking a look around his office. "I'm not sure how much you can help and I don't care how much it will cost I just need your help."_

_He shook his head. "You don't have to worry Nikki. Maxine pays me well and everything has been taken care of." He replied, smiling._

"_Sorry, I don't understand." Nikki said in confusion. _

"_I work for Maxine and you could say I owe her my life." He said, realising Nikki wouldn't understand their connection. "Long story, and I know everyone must think she's just a cold calculated killer, but I know a side of her that no one knows, except for you. I just want to say I am glad you are helping her because that girl has gone through so much in her young life."_

_Nikki grinned. She wondered how someone like Stoney came into Maxine's life. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet Maxine?"_

"_I shall give you the short version," he laughed. "Actually, she came knocking at my door one day even though I tried to kick her out she was quite persuasive in her approach."_

"_Yes, she gets under your skin." Nikki smiled. "Doesn't take no for an answer. She's got that brilliant mind that never stops working."_

"_Very true. Well, she needed me to investigate a shady business dealing that her father was into. I thought she was just some kid winding me up but I soon realised she meant business and she came prepared."_

_Nikki felt a little sadness cross her heart. She knew she was emotionally invested in Maxine case and allowed herself to get personal. She felt dejected about Maxine's future. She knew it was her job to save her but there was genuine friendship and admiration for the young girl. "I wish I could do more for her."_

"_Listen, I know she cares for you and I don't understand the relationship, but that girl was not born a killer. Too many people have fucked her up and now we see the product of her dysfunctional life." He said passionately._

"_You don't need to defend her actions. I wished things were different for her, but nothing can change what she did." Nikki said, realising life was not always fair. "We have to believe in our justice system."_

"_I was on a down-way spiral and drinking myself to an early grave and she pulled me out of that shite hole I was living. My business was going to hell and look at me now. Everything you see is because of her. She believed in me and in return I help others find the missing pieces to their past. And I am damn good at what I do."_

_Nikki laughed. "Well, I am hoping you can find out what I need because I am not sure where to turn."_

"_Tell me everything you know and I will get what you need, and that is a promise." Nikki looked at him wondering why he was so confident. "I do thing in an orthodox fashion and have a knack uncovering what so many try to hide."_

"_That's brilliant because there is questions I need answering." She said excitedly. She really wanted to know about Monica's past and yet at the same time she was wondering if she was doing the right thing. What if Monica didn't want her past to come to surface? What if she found out was shocking? Was she prepared to uncover the truth? She would deal with that when it came to it._

"_I just want to make sure you understand there is no going back once you have the information you need. I a lot of people are surprised at the revelation and I want to make things clear before we go further." He said to Nikki._

"_I understand and I still want to continue." Nikki took an envelope from her bag._

"_Okay, let's get started then," he said taking the envelope from Nikki._

* * *

_She opened the door and Karen was standing there holding two bottles of wine._

"_I wasn't sure what you wanted so I bought two," Karen smiled, giving a light kiss on Yvonne's cheek. "You look worn out babe."_

_Yvonne weakly smiled before taking the wine bottles and placing them on the table. "I'm just glad you are here. I missed you terribly."_

_Karen eye's glistened. "But I saw you just a few days back."_

"_Nonsense." Yvonne said, grabbing Karen's hand and making their way to the couch._

"_You sounded urgent and you know I would do anything for you." Karen said, nodding her head. Yvonne's eyes became watery as she was feeling so many emotions and the strain of everything was weighting heavy on her shoulders. "Hey, don't look so upset." She said pulling Yvonne into a hug._

"_I'm just so very tired of everything," Yvonne said, her voice a whisper. "I don't know how you stayed with me so long."_

_Karen looked into Yvonne's eyes and felt her heart constrict. She sense Yvonne had a lot on her mind and she looked as if she wanted to cry. "Hey beautiful," she said, lifting Yvonne's chin. "I love you daft cow and nothing you could do would make me run from you, do you realise that."_

_Yvonne nodded and took a deep breath. "I can't imagine how I would have continued living if you were not in my life." Looking into Karen's eyes she finally realised all those years being friends, she was possible more in love with her than ever. It frightened her though to still have those strong intensive feelings._

"_Well, don't imagine it because I am not ever leaving you." She said with a huge grin on her face trying to make Yvonne feel better. But in truth, she couldn't leave Yvonne even if she tried. She loved her more than anything and the bond they shared could never be broken, even if they were just best mates._

"_I left Charlie," Yvonne blurted out, feeling a sense of relief._

_Karen was stunned for a moment. Secretly she was happy but she knew for a long time that Yvonne was not happy in her marriage. "Finally," she said smiling. "I knew you were not happy and I really just want you to be happy with someone you truly love." Karen said wishing that someone could be her._

"_You are so amazing you know that," Yvonne said, placing her hand over Karen's. "I don't know how many times you've picked me up when I fell apart. I think I owe you a metal."_

"_Forget about the metal and come here and let me comfort you," Karen said, pulling Yvonne closer and enjoying the warm feeling that was permeating her body. She really wanted to tell Yvonne how she really felt but she was too damn scared and Yvonne was in distress and didn't need a cow like her making things awkward._

_Yvonne closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel Karen. She held her tighter and buried her face in her neck smelling her sweet scent before pulling herself apart. She looked into Karen's eyes and realised how much she wanted to kiss those lips. "Why is it that you make me feel so many things?" Yvonne said, leaving the 'things' to be interpreted._

_Karen blinked trying to understand the undertone of Yvonne's words. What exactly did she mean by so many things, but she didn't want to pressure Yvonne who looked weary. "I know exactly what you mean." Was her only reply before she changed the subject. "Please tell me what's hurting you."_

_Yvonne swallowed thinking about how she was going to explain. "This is so difficult but I don't know what to do."_

_Karen looked at Yvonne confused. Was Yvonne about to confess her love for her? Her heart began to race faster. "Just tell me." She waited._

"_It's about Nikki," Yvonne said, feeling tired and remembering her conversation with Charlie and how she felt when she found out._

_Karen felt disappointed for a moment as she was hoping for something else. "What do you mean? What about Nikki." She said curious._

"_I stumbled into something I shouldn't have but I'm glad I did," Yvonne said before continuing on. "That sodding weasel Sean Parr, can you believe hired Charlie to put a hit on Nikki."_

_Karen was dumbfounded. Did she just hear correctly? "Are you winding me up?"_

_Yvonne looked at Karen annoyed. "Do I look like I am joking?"_

"_What the bloody hell," Karen spat, angrily. "We need to tell Nikki and Helen right away. This can't wait. I should kill that sodding bastard myself."_

"_I know, I know," Yvonne said, sighing. "How do I tell Nikki that arsehole Sean wants her dead and I'm guessing he knows there's something going on between them otherwise why would he be threaten to the point of paying Charlie to kill Nikki."_

"_I'm going to bust open that face of his." Karen said reeling from the news. She couldn't believe a coward like Sean Parr would contemplate such a heinous act. What was he thinking? _

"_I feel so disgusted and I was ready to kill that sodding bastard myself, but I have other plans for him." Yvonne said, an angry expression covered her face and her eyes shining bright with hate._

_Karen raised her brow at Yvonne. "Don't do something stupid babe. Don't do something you'll regret later. Don't you dare leave me alone without in this world."_

"_I'm not going to jail for that bastard but he needs to pay." Yvonne said, nostril flared._

"_He will get what is coming to him, but right now we seriously need to inform Nikki. This is something that cannot wait." Karen replied realising the implication. What will Nikki do?_

"_I know, I know." She said putting her hands over her face. "I will ring her and hopefully she can come by tonight."_

_Karen rubbed Yvonne's arm. "We will do this together. Me and you, together."_

_Yvonne smiled. "I could kiss you right now." Yvonne blurted out not caring how it sounded. All she knew was that she was glad that Karen was in her life and everything else dark would have to wait._

_Karen giggled. She wanted more than just a kiss but she would worry about that later. She took Yvonne hand and placed it on her heart allowing Yvonne to feel her heartbeat. "Do you feel that?"_

"_Yes," Yvonne said shyly._

"_It's beating fast because of you. It's always been only you," Karen said, letting the unspoken words pass between them. "I love you. Don't you ever forget that."_

_Yvonne shook her head understanding. Even though things were unclear between them, they understood all the longing, the waiting and the unknown. "Never."_

* * *

_**Later in the evening….**_

"_No Nikki stop," Yvonne said, trying to hold back Nikki who was heading to the door._

"_You got to be kidding, right," Nikki said in anger. _

"_I know what you want to do but it's not worth it believe me. Think of Helen." Yvonne pleaded._

"_That bastard put a hit on me and you expect me to be calm about this," she replied, seething for the revelation. She couldn't believe what Yvonne and Karen just told her. It was surreal and the only think running through her head was revenge but then she thought of Helen and everything was shite._

"_I understand but think but we need to do this right." Karen said._

_Nikki stopped her tirade and went to sit down. "How the hell am I supposed to explain to Helen that her fiancé is trying to kill me?" Nikki spat. _

"_Maybe she doesn't have to know," Yvonne said. "I promise I will take care of everything."_

"_What is that supposed to mean?" Nikki said, dumbfounded. "I can't let that happen. I need to deal with this my own way and I know you mean well but I can't have you interfering."_

"_But," Yvonne went to say._

"_Please, Yvonne," Nikki said frustrated. "I cannot lie to Helen and she needs to know the truth and we will deal with it properly."_

_Yvonne knew Nikki was right but she wanted her sweet revenge on Sean and torture him slowly. "Okay, but be careful Nikki."_

"_I need a stiff drink," she chuckled. "Why does danger always follow me?"_

"_You're too brilliant for your own good," Karen replied smiling. _

_Nikki looked at Karen and Yvonne and they looked different. "Is there something you guys are not telling me?"_

"_Why do you ask?" Yvonne replied confused and stunned by Nikki's words._

"_I get the feeling that I am missing something here. You both are glowing and under these circumstances it just seems weird."_

"_I left Charlie," Yvonne finally said._

"_What, when? About time if you ask me." Nikki said, trying to calm down. "I never thought he was the one for you. Why you stayed with him that long is beyond any rational thought. But then I know it was for your children._

"_You too," Yvonne laughed. "I guess I shouldn't left him years ago." She acknowledged._

"_C'mon Von," Nikki said. "You never seemed happy with him. In fact, your relationship with Karen is much more valuable than your marriage ever was." Nikki smiled. "You two make a better match than you and Charlie. I'm just saying." _

_Both Yvonne and Karen laughed. "You might have a point there Nikki," Yvonne said winking at Karen._

"_If you ask me Yvonne, I think," Nikki was about to continue before being cut off by Yvonne._

"_I didn't ask and let's not go where you want to, okay," Yvonne said, giving Nikki a knowing look which didn't go unnoticed by Karen who had a slight smile on her lips._

"_Fine, fine," Nikki said getting up. "I should go and find Helen."_

"_Good luck with that," Yvonne said, giving Nikki a hug before she left. Yvonne turned her attention towards Karen and smiled. "Why are you smiling?"_

"_Nothing," Karen feign innocence. "Let's finish off the wine._

* * *

_Nikki took out her mobile and started to dial. _

"_Hello,"_

"_I know it's late but are you free?" Nikki said._

_Helen was a little surprised that Nikki called, but she sounded different. "I was just reading,"_

"_Are you alone and if so can I come by?" Nikki asked._

"_I am alone and you can come by," Helen replied hearing the strain on Nikki's voice. "Are you okay?"_

_Nikki breathed into the phone. "Just tired but I need to talk."_

"_Is this about us? Did I do something wrong?" Helen said, feeling irrational and wondering why Nikki sounded weary._

"_No," Nikki replied. "I'm sorry, not over the phone okay. I will explain once I get here."_

_Helen wasn't sure what Nikki had to say to her but she felt whatever it was, it was not good. "I will be there in a half-hour okay."_

"_See you soon," Nikki said before hanging up. She decided to pass by a bar and get a couple of drinks and she felt the need to be inebriated. She couldn't face Helen sober._

_**XXXX**_

_**A little while later….**_

"_Have you been drinking?" Helen asked looking into Nikki's eyes which seemed glossed over._

"_Yup," was Nikki's response. _

"_You're pacing and making me nervous," Helen said. "Please Nikki, sit down and tell me what's going on."_

_Nikki went over to Helen, sat close to her and took her hand. "Please just listen to me before you explode or do something stupid."_

_Helen looked at Nikki confused. "Why would I explode?"_

"_Please, just promise me," Nikki said, giving Helen an exhausted look. _

"_Okay," Helen replied, wondering if the walls were going to cave in. Nikki looked so distressed and it startled her._

"_I don't know how to say this," Nikki swallowed hard. Her head felt heavy and she just wanted to close her eyes and pretend life was simple. "I know this will be quite a shock as I was shocked myself but I trust Yvonne and what she told me rattled my nerves."_

"_I don't understand," Helen said looking at Nikki with a confused look. "What does Yvonne have to do with it?"_

"_It has to do with Sean your fiancé," Nikki said avoiding Helen's eyes._

"_Sean," Helen responded. "Did he do or say something stupid. He has been acting strange lately which has me wondering."_

"_I'm sorry but that bastard paid Charlie Atkins to kill me." Nikki said, waiting for the Helen's response._

_Helen was frozen for a moment. "What?" Was all she could say as she felt her lungs become constricted with fear and hate._

"_I said, Sean put a hit on me." Nikki repeated, feeling defeated._

_For a moment she felt as if someone stabbed her with a knife, right through the heart. The man she knew as her fiancé was trying to kill Nikki. The woman she had fallen in love with. "I feel ill."_

_Nikki went to put her arm around Helen who looked like she was in a comatose. "I'm so sorry Nikki. I bring nothing but negativity into your life. I can't excuse Sean's behaviour and I cannot believe that someone I have been intimate with would try to kill someone I love so deeply." Tears started to stream down her face. "It's taking all my strength not to get up and put a bullet through Sean eyes."_

"_Don't cry babe," Nikki was trying to comfort Helen as she knew she would be torn and feeling guilty._

"_He won't get away with this," she said, feeling numb. "I'm just so shocked that I cannot even think straight."_

"_Hey, look at me okay," Nikki said turning Helen's head and running her fingers on her face._

"_I cannot believe I held back," Helen said feeling a warm sensation over her body. She felt an act of betrayal from Sean yet at the same time she felt her whole body respond to Nikki. "Nikki,"_

"_Don't say a word," Nikki put her finger over Helen's lip. Even though they were both so angry with Sean, what they were feeling at the moment was beyond control. "I know I probably shouldn't be saying this considering the situation but I really want to kiss you."_

_Helen looked up and saw the sincerity in Nikki words and felt herself crumble. So long she held herself together and it was draining her. She knew she wanted Nikki, wanted her touch, wanted everything. She leaned forward and captured Nikki mouth not caring about anything else. She didn't feel guilt or shame, but what she felt was such intense sexual energy that she needed a release. She needed Nikki and she knew she could not hold back any longer. It was if the revelation about Sean finally gave her the courage to do what she had been holding back._

_Nikki stopped kissing Helen and looked into her hazel/green eyes which was filled with desire. "I don't think I can stop even if I wanted to."_

"_Then don't," Helen replied with a longing before they found themselves in Helen's bed._


	25. Chapter 25

It's been a long time since I have last update and I still hope those who had read my story will enjoy this chapter even though I am not entirely happy with it. Helen and Nikki finally get their day and yes, there are still plenty of unanswered questions, but the next few updates will be all about revelations and surprises. I have already started writing chapter 26 so dear readers you won't have to wait a long time for the next update. It's rather hard writing three stories and of course their is that thing called life that gets in the way. I still love writing this story as it is the first story I have written and yes, I plan to finish it one day. But there is still a lot more to tell. So enjoy and drop me a line or two. Cheers mate.

**Chapter 25**

Helen shifted back to the pleasant thought of Nikki's gentle hand on her face, and the warm feeling that she had inside knowing that what they were about to share she wanted it to last forever. Her eyes followed as she watched Nikki take her hand and lead her towards the large door that led out to the balcony. A breeze pushed at her hair as she walked out into the night. Nikki then turned around, for a moment fearing that Helen might take flight without allowing her the opportunity to apologise for the troubles that she seemed to cause with Sean. And it was if Helen sensed Nikki's apprehension she turned to her, she could see the dark sky before them. Every star glittered, each seemingly competing with each other to be the brightest. Silence filled the air, but neither of them attempted to speak as the passion burning within was like a growing beast. Maybe there were no perfect words to say. Maybe it was enough to know that they were together and that everything they felt, all the struggles was forth the wait. They shared a bond so special that not even time could dampen their love story. Helen faced Nikki, then she looked towards the full moon and smiled. Life might be taxing and it took every effort to keep herself from feeling the exhausting effects that came with it, but at this moment her personal strife, work and the trappings of everyday dwelling did not matter. How she longed to hold Nikki without the feelings of guilt, the constraints and the notion that she needed to put her feelings aside for the greater good. She would deal with the outside forces later, but tonight here with Nikki, all she wanted, needed was to feel her touch, her warm, her love, her soul.

Getting closer to Helen, Nikki put her arms around her waist as they both gazed at the moon. Tonight the moon was a comfort, not a reminder of that darken prison that they seemed to be living in. Helen longed for the solace of words to caress her heart, but she knew the words would fall short to reality. She also knew that Nikki could not take away all her pain by mere words, but their closeness made her feel secure and loved. They both wished for this moment to never end. Then Nikki led Helen towards the bed. She let the weight of Nikki's body press against her as she leaned back with the secure knowledge that Nikki was there for her mentally, spiritually, and physically. A wonderful feeling of tranquillity swept over her entire body, and she smiled as she remembered her first encounter with Nikki and how she felt that spark, that something she never imagined would change her life.

Helen looked up to face Nikki while still in her strong embrace. Nikki gently wrapped her fingers around the back of Helen's neck. Her other thumb rested on her cheek as she pulled Helen's face towards hers. Nikki's lips slightly parted as she pressed her lips to Helen. Her breath felt warm against her lips as she eagerly kissed Helen in return. Her arm slipped behind Helen, and she pulled her closer. Savoring the scent of Helen, Nikki could almost taste her already. The anticipation of her awakening the fire inside. Nikki longed to taste Helen's sweetness. A taste that could only improve through the years like a fine vintage of wine.

Nikki voice caressed Helen's ear, "I want to taste you, like we are eternal lovers under the moonlit sky."

Helen's voice became breathless as Nikki kissed her neck, teasing and thrilling her. "We will always share this passion?"

Nikki's breaths were also becoming more rapid as she kissed Helen again and again only releasing the kiss to find a new position in which to kiss her more deeply. Her hands began to explore Helen, to caress her, to draw her even closer. With her passion for her rekindled, each kiss's intensity grew. Their love transcended time and mortality. They became immersed in each other as Nikki knelt down and pulled Helen down on top of her. Helen gasped in pleasure as Nikki pulled back her blouse, and tenderly licked her neck. She hungrily kissed Nikki in return, as she rolled her onto her back and positioned herself above Helen. Nikki could feel the urgency in Helen as she ravishingly plunged her fingers into her sex. The rapture was overwhelming as if she was drinking the whole of Helen as she bit her neck like a beast in heat, longing to engulf the flame of desire. Helen could not remember a greater satisfaction as she revelled in her pleasure and rapture. No one had ever allowed for such ecstasy, such bliss. Their love for each other intertwined in their eternal dance. Nikki held Helen near, savoring her closeness as she had just savored her body. Saturated by her essence, she felt complete, and in the hush of the room they both drifted off to sleep embraced in each other's arms.

* * *

This wasn't her room or bed. Tears welled and trickled slowly from her eyes. Then the pain started. But, still she couldn't move. She could only endure whatever was happening to her body. Terror clawed at her soul while dying nerves screamed. Her body jerked as the slaughter continued. Nikki found herself screaming, but the cracked, broken voice was not hers. It was like she was a visitor in someone else's nightmare. Locked inside a horrifying energy warp, watching life drip from reality. Her agonized screams echoed on forever in her mind. She cringed. Nikki's horrified gaze locked on a bloody knife held high by a man dressed in black. She shuddered. She struggled to imprint the image before the opportunity was lost. Her eyes drifted closed. In the darkness of her mind, the wait was endless. Her tortured spirit stirred deep within the rolling waves of blackness, struggling for freedom from this nightmare. A few minutes later, she bolted upright in her own bed. Survival instincts screamed at her to run. White agony dropped her in place.

"Nikki, Nikki, you're safe here." Helen looked at Nikki who had a blank expression on her face. It almost looked ghostly. "It's just a bad nightmare baby," Helen rubbed Nikki's shoulders, trying to bring comfort to Nikki who looked aimlessly into nothing.

Nikki put her hands over her face, coming out of her haze. Hot tears poured on her face. Breathing heavy Nikki stared at Helen with confusion around her, fear, panic, and finally, recognition seeped into her dazed mind. The early morning rays highlighted the walls, as shadows appeared. Then the memory of her dreams flooded her mind. She broke down in Helen's arms, trying to curl into Helen's warm embrace. "Shite," she swore under her breath realising the outcome of her nightmare. She finally realised she wasn't alone and the realisation made her cringe for a moment. She did not want Helen to see her so weak, so vulnerable. However she tried, she could not stop herself from the constant nightmares that plagued her sleep. And as the case became more troubling and the killing became more frequent, so did her nightmares.

"It's alright baby," Helen replied in a warm, soft voice. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I want to be here for you."

Nervously, Nikki wondered how she appeared to Helen. It was a silly thought but no one has ever seen her in this state. "I'm sorry Helen."

"For what my dear?" Helen asked, looking at Nikki oddly, but realising that Nikki was trying to be strong. It was sweet in a way, but she really just wanted to be here for Nikki and help her. "Please don't refrain from me Nikki."

"It's just," Nikki continued before Helen put her fingers over her mouth.

"Let me take care of you, okay?" Helen said, smiling and giving Nikki a soft kiss on the lips. "After the night we just had, you do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. I want you completely in every sense."

"Do you realise how much I am in love with you," Nikki began to say as the warmth in her body felt as if she was burning slowing like hot magma.

"You're so beautiful," Helen caressed Nikki's face. "You have me in every sense. I want nothing more than to grow old with you. I would like to have babies with you."

Nikki's cheeks began to blush. She couldn't believe she finally had Helen and they had a passionate evening making love in every sense. It was nice waking up to Helen. "I can't believe you're really here."

"Why it took this long," Helen laughed, making Nikki smiled. "So am I." Helen lowered her head and captured Nikki mouth as she felt the need to feel Nikki again. It was at that moment her mobile went off. "Shite," she cursed.

"No doubt work," Nikki replied, smiling over at Helen who was looking for her phone.

"Hello," Helen said, sounding irritated. "Shite, no, right, I'll be there soon." Then Helen hung up her mobile and turned to Nikki with a look of dreadfulness in her eyes.

"I'm guessing that wasn't the tooth fairy and she come to tell you, you won a million pounds." Nikki said, trying to defuse the heavy tension building in Helen's eyes.

When will this end Helen thought to herself. She saw plenty of violence and killing, but not only saw it, but experienced it too. "We need to go, Nikki."

"Another body?" Nikki inquired.

"I hate feeling like a failure," Helen spat as she got up and headed towards the bathroom. "Do you mind if I go first?"

Nikki got up and nodded her head. She walked towards Helen and put her arms on her shoulder. "We will capture them. I promise you this." Nikki said confidently. She didn't know why, but she felt they could catch the killers. They just needed to be patient.

"Thanks, beautiful," Helen said, smiling. She knew all the reason why she fell in love with Nikki, but she found herself asking, could she possibly keep falling in love with the dark beauty. She knew she could as her feeling continued to grow.

* * *

As they drove Helen figured that this was Nikki way of telling her not to become like a raging tide, complaining and ending up with less. "Why do you always look like you know something I don't? I hate that being of being probed."

"Nonsense babe," Nikki smiled. "I'm not probing you, simply admiring your beauty. And is it so bad holing up with me, looking up to the night sky and enjoying the endless stars?" Nikki grinned, giving Helen a quick poke on her arm.

"Oh no, very bad," Helen licked her lips. "Can't allow you under my skin. What deep secrets will be revealed if we spend every night looking at each other? Nope, bad for my health."

"So, you won't mind if I don't touch you here," Nikki smiled and moved her hand between Helen's thighs which made her heart race with desire.

"You wicked enchantress," Helen said, her breathing laboured. "If I wasn't driving I'd have you in the backseat and picking your lock." She continued. "God Nikki," she slightly moaned. "The things you do to me, I cannot lie, make me turn into pudding."

"Too bad you can't turn the car around and head back," Nikki winked.

"Yes, indeed," Helen commented before focusing on her driving.

Helen pulled her car into the into the lot which was already filled with police cars parked in every direction. The coloured flashing lights were reflecting off every surface that was still wet from the steady rain. Dominic turned and noticed Helen parking her car. He was a bit surprised to find Nikki emerge from her car. It was still early dawn and he was confused why Nikki would be with Helen when he knew that she had her own car, but shrugged his shoulders.

Helen looked at Nikki who appeared very professional, and it was difficult to believe that she was in her arms only an hour ago. Now they were at a crime scene. She waited for the day to end so she could be alone again with Nikki.

Helen and Nikki began to make their way through the maze of cars, just as Zandra arrived. Helen was use to the confusion of the crime scenes, and it did not take her long to add her car to the chaos. Helen watched as Zandra turned off her headlights, and got out of her car with her medical bag.

The static from a call from one of the police radios brought Helen back to the present. She decided to let Zandra do her job, and turned to continue through the haphazard collection of parked cars. A crowd had gathered around the tape that marked off the crime scene, making it difficult for her to get through. Jim Fenner was talking to a couple of uniformed officers, and she had to push his way past the spectators to climb over the temporary yellow taped fence. Jim looked up and lifted his arm to give Helen a short gesturing wave to come over to him. Acknowledging Jim's signal with a nod, she and Nikki approached the three men. Helen noticed that one officer was visibly shaken, and he looked quite pale.

Getting close to Jim, she said, "It looks like the whole damn department is here. What do we got Jim?" Jim turned away from the two other officers, and shook his head in disbelief.

"Not much yet. Haven't been here long Helen. What I do know is the victim is young, not much older than my own girl." Helen could see the pain in Jim's eyes. The pain of knowing that the victim could just as easily been his own daughter. She knew Jim could be a prick and a sore loser for most of the time, but he had a soft spot for his kid. Jim pulled out a tissue to wipe some of the sweat from his face, and deeply sighed.

"The homeless man found her as he was sorting through the garbage. He's over there giving Dominic giving his statement. Of course he smelled of booze and a year of not showering. He did mention something about a broken doll but heck if I know what he's rambling about. I found nothing of the sort. We're still looking for clues though."

Helen closed her eyes, and tried to calm the anger she felt building. When she felt the beast ease up on her, she opened her eyes and looked towards Jim again. "Did he see anything else? Are there any witnesses?" Helen asked.

Jim shook his head. "He doesn't seem to know anything else, but I told Dominic to take him back to the precinct when he's done and get his statement in writing."

"Did you get a chance to talk with the first officers at the scene?" Helen asked.

He turned his attention back to Helen. "I was just about to do that."

Helen nodded. "See that you do and let me know if you have anything else. And good job Jim." Helen said, realising that she needed to appease Jim even if it made her feel dirty. But she realised she needed to put aside her ill feelings towards Jim for the greater good. Her focus was on catching those killers.

Jim was surprised by Helen's response. It wasn't like Helen to speak kind words to him but he didn't say a word back, instead choosing to smile at Helen.

Helen looked over the crowd that had gathered, and wished that they would all go back to their homes and make her job a little easier. She wondered if any of them could have been responsible for the girl's death, and was hanging around to watch all the excitement that was generated. Carefully scanning every face, she hoped to find something that would give the perpetrator away. Nothing stood out. She desperately needed some answers. Helen then went over to where Nikki was standing, and with a softened voice said, "Hi, Nikki. What do you make of all this?"

Nikki looked up with bewildered eyes, and studied her for a moment. She smiled warmly, she gave her a silent nod. "We won't find much out here, but we should get more information when Zandra examines the body."

Helen thought for a moment again, "No, I don't suppose we will. But all we need is one clue to the puzzle. I'm just going to make the rounds. Let me know if you see anything interesting." But before Helen left Nikki's side she whispered into her ear. "I want to make love to you all night long. I don't know how much of this I can take."

Nikki licked her lips, giving Helen a warm smile and gently touched Helen's hand, careful not to give attention to them. "You take my breath away," she said seductively. "How about a nice champagne bubble bath with me later tonight?"

Helen had to hold her breath as she almost buckled at the knees. "Do you realise it doesn't take much to get me wet and this is definitely not the right time to get a longing for you," she said sighing.

"Sorry my sweet," Nikki grinned devilishly.

"You're enjoying aren't you?"

"My lips are sealed, or course until they fall upon your fleshy skin," Nikki teased. She could at least still have a bit of fun even in the dire situation they were under.

"You're going to give me cavities if you keep sweet talking me." Helen said under her breath.

"As you wish," Nikki bowed as if bowing to her Queen. "Shall we continue this later?"

"Definitely later," Helen said before turning away from Nikki. She couldn't believe the excitement she felt every time Nikki was near her. It was as if a veil was lifted once they consummated their relationship and now there was no turning back. She loved how it made it feel. Even though she was perplexed by the case, knowing Nikki was by her side made her life a little brighter.

XXXXX

After a while and examining the crime scene and collecting evidence Helen looked around searching for Dominic but could not see him. Now would be a good time to see if Dominic had any better luck than she had. She again had to get through the crowd and back into the taped off area. She wanted to catch these killers. Wanted to know why they did this. She took a deep breath. Her anger getting the better of her, a luxury that she could not afford. She had to remain in control, and do whatever she could to solve this crime.

Helen could now see Zandra in the distance examining the victim. As she got closer, Zandra stood up and turned to her.

"Sorry Helen, there's not much to go by. Maybe when I get her back to the lab."

Helen couldn't believe it. How could this monster not leave anything behind that would point them in the right direction? No one was perfect. There had to be something that would give them away. She hated playing this cat and mouse game and all she knew, the body count was rising in an alarming pace.

Helen sighed, "Anything Zandra? There must be something."

Zandra heard the desperation in Helen's voice. "Well, there's not that much I can tell you now except that her body has been left here for weeks. No signs of a struggle though. But I did get a positive on the phosphate. She was raped. I will not know if she was alive during the rape until I get her back for testing. She looks almost perfect, like she just fell asleep, yet she seems perfectly preserved, which suggest these killers knew what they were doing. Sorry Helen, you're just going to have to wait for more."

Zandra closed her bag and looked up just in time to see Nikki coming towards them. Helen looked at the young girl who would never experience life lying on the ground in front of her, and she softly said, "I know Zandra, it's just not much to go on and I feel like we're only scratching the surface."

Zandra turned to her and placed her hand on her arm. "It's a start. Someone must have reported her missing? Someone's waiting for her Helen. Someone's waiting for their little girl to come home."

Helen thought about what Zandra was saying, and knew she was right. "Yeah, unfortunately there are so many missing. She could be anyone's child." Zandra closed her eyes briefly and nodded that she understood.

Dominic was on his way over to Helen and Nikki, and was not so sure he wanted another look at the murdered girl. "Anything new?"

Helen sighed heavily, "No, not yet. How about you?" Dominic just looked up to the sky, and folded his arms across his chest.

Zandra put a tag on the body as the morgue crew came to bring it back to the lab. She turned towards the others and said, "Well, I guess it's up to me. So I better get started."

Dominic watched as the body was being put into the Coroner's van. "Helen, these killers are pure monsters. I don't think that I'll ever understand the mind of a killer."

Helen looked down at the ground. "You don't want to, Dom. It's pure evil."

Dominic nodded his head. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Let's go Nikki, examine the scene more thoroughly." Nikki nodded, and pulled her coat tighter around her.

Dominic looked at Helen who seemed different. Her face had a glow. She seemed very relaxed and he wasn't quite sure if Nikki had to do with it. In fact, they both glowed. He shook his head thinking he was just imagining things.

Helen stood quietly, she gazed up towards the stars and wish the stars could speak. Maybe then they could finally catch these killers and stop these brutal killings of young girls.

* * *

She was so tired...

The workday had come and gone but Helen remained sequestered in the office a little longer. Hiding as she tried to avoid the press, avoiding having to go leave. She knew Nikki would still be at her office and heading back to Nikki's place later tonight was her only solace.

As Nikki sat on her chair trying and get some work done her thoughts went back to Helen and the wonderful night they shared. She smiled as she remembered how it felt holding Helen so tightly. After a while she had turned the lights off, except for the desk lamp, and sat, letting the silence envelope her. What a relief to be still, she thought, staring at the photo she had taken and developed and frame herself years ago. A winter landscape. This is why she shot landscapes rather than people. The stillness. If she could find stillness in her surroundings, she could hope to achieve it within herself...if only for a little while. If only while she was lost in the stark beauty of the picture. For those few moments, she could successfully ease the tension that quivered at the core of her. Then she thought Monica, Maxine and her parents, and it felt as if the people she cared for always seemed to end up in dire situation.

Of course the stillness didn't last long. Angry questions demands directives. She closed her eyes and conjured an image, the fleeting memory of feeling safe and cared for. She had wanted so badly to accept it. She didn't want to carry the weight anymore. She was so tired. When she opened her eyes again, he was standing there. Panic clenched like a fist in her chest as she wondered if this moment was real or surreal. The nightmares came so frequently lately, it was becoming more difficult to tell. He stood there in the shadow, expressionless, silent. A sense of dread began to build deep inside her. Why did she keep seeing a dark figure in her dreams?

Then her mobile went off as Nikki went over to reach her phone. "Hello, Nikki Wade speaking."

"Hello Nikki, its Stony Phillips," the voice on the other line said.

"Oh hello," Nikki was a little surprised. It had been less than a week since she last left his office. "I'm surprised to here from you this quickly. Is there something else you need from me?""

"No, no," he breathed into the phone. "Listen, I need to meet up with you. It's very important." He said with urgency.

Nikki sat upwards the excitement building. "Did you find something of interest?"

"Just say it's a start, but I still need to sort through things," he tried to sound upbeat. "You won't believe what I uncovered, although I must say someone went to great lengths to ensure this information remained buried."

"It sounds complicated," Nikki interested was peak. She was excited the he would finally have some answers to the questions she had been asking most of her life.

"This is not something I want to share over the phone. I will be out of town for a few days but I will call you to set up a meeting."

"Bollocks," she replied. "Sorry, I guess I'm being impatient. Do ring me when you're back in town."

"Also, it's probably best if you don't mention this to anyone. At least not until we meet up." He said.

"Sure. And thanks for your help. I really do appreciate your help and please don't hesitate to ask me for anything." Nikki put down her mobile and wondered what Stony uncovered. She became excited yet at the same time she wondered if she really wanted to know. Was she ready to open that Pandora's Box?


End file.
